We gave you guys some shit for possibly being afflicted with Asperger syndrome, which, as previously stated, there is NOTHING wrong with having. It was merely an observation on our parts that many of you are socially awkward, often fail to demonstrate empathy for your peers, and are prone to restricted patterns of behavior such as hitting the submit button over and over and over again when trying to comment, and that the confluence of those symptoms might lead to a professional diagnosis of the A. But we’ve *also* noticed occasionally flashes of insight around these parts and, very occasionally, brilliance. One might even make the claim that some of you could qualify for MENSA membership. Or could you? Take this quiz and post your results. Knowing the lot of you, we’re going to put the over/under at 5 and take the under. Again, it would be helpful and add a little more color to the situation if you also told us where you’re employed but no pressure on that end.
MENSA_TEST1.xls [Excel]
Earlier: What’s Wrong With You
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Sururely no one doubts the sheer volume of assburgers around here.
RE:fwd:re:re:fwd:Mensa Test
*yawn*
anyone taking the under, probably needs help spelling MENSA.
Mayo is what is right with me
19 took 10 minutes
Sham wow rules! Vince Offer rules!
I quit when I found two typos.
I quit when I found two typos.
3 blind mice see how they run
Wow. I think I last saw this in 1998.
Select-Sheet. Copy. Paste-value.
way way way too lazy/headached to bother with this right now/ever
an octopus
man’s chest
chromosomes in the human body was tough
19 grew bored with it before finishing…
#14 again… I can’t fucking count… I had 17 correct when I grew bored…
If I was an IBank just short me…
Get back to work, Mr. Higgins
24..
No. Cryptic Answer
0 24 H in a D 24 Hours in a Day
1 26 L of the A 26 Letters of the Alphabet
2 7 D of the W 7 Days of the Week
3 7 W of the W 7 Wonders of the World
4 12 S of the Z 12 Signs of the Zodiac
5 66 B of the B 66 Books of the Bible
6 52 C in a P (WJs) 52 Cards in a Pack (Without Jokers)
7 13 S in the USF 13 Stripes in the United States Flag
8 18 H on a G C 18 Holes on a Golf Course
9 39 B of the O T 39 Books of the Old Testament
10 5 T on a F
11 90 D in a R A 90 Degrees in a Right Angle
12 3 B M (S H T R) 3 Blind Mice (See How They Run)
13 32 is the T in D F at which W F
14 15 P in a R T 15 Players in a Rugby Team
15 3 W on a T
16 100 C in a R
17 11 P in a F (S) T 11 Players in a Football (Soccer) Team
18 12 M in a Y 12 Months in a Year
19 13=UFS 13 is Unlucky For Some
20 8 T on a O
21 29 D in F in a L Y 29 Days in February in a Leap Year
22 27 B in the N T 27 Books in the New Testament
23 365 D in a Y 365 Days in a Year
24 13 L in a B D
25 52 W in a Y 52 Weeks in a Year
26 9 L of a C 9 Lives of a Cat
27 60 M in a H 60 Minutes in a Hour
28 23 P of C in the H B
29 64 S on a C B 64 Squares on a Chess Board
30 9 P in S A
31 6 B to an O in C
32 1000 Y in a M 1000 Years in a Millenium
33 15 M on a D M C 15 Men on a Dead Mans Chest
i demand you accept cards in a pack with jokers! damn you conditional formatting!
16 here…10 minutes, grew bored, couldnt immediately get the others
13 32 is the T in D F at which W F:
32 is the temp in degrees fahr. at which water freezes
20 8 T on a O:
8 tentacles on an octapus
@17,
The goal was not to show everyone the answers, they could google them… but to ask people if they could figure it out…
Great way to blow it for anyone reading the messages before taking the test…
You must have had a job in Risk Management of CDOs last year…
I am the CEO of a hedge fund. What is MENSA?
30 – 9 People in South America
@21,
Ummm hedge funds have general partners who “may” have a CEO, managing member is the technical term… the funds them selves tend to be LP, and as such do not have CEOs…
But what the hell… your a sharp guy…
17 =
32 is the temperature in degrees fahrenheit at which water freezes
I am the CEO of MENSA. What is a hedge fund?
MENSA has somithing to do with Mayo.
@23 you’re not your
@27 it’s a joke, looser.
@28 it’s a joke, tighter?
#23 here…
@28, thanks for getting it, and covering my back for me…
@27, has the WSJ given you a red pen to edit with yet? or are you still on coffee and lunch runs?
If the WSJ does not work out, I hear that your liberal arts degree should be great for a teaching position at the local adult continuing education high school.
I find it very hard to believe this is a real Mensa test, especially when incorrect grammar is used on one answers (if you type in the answer using correct grammar, it says false…if you type it in incorrectly, it says true).
26, 10 minutes, ran out of adderall, so it was a great distra… hey! a bird!
If you can quantify how smart you are then you’re not really that smart.
~The Un-Quantifiably Smart Guy
13 loaves in a baker’s dozen. Who has time for this?
@31 – “I find it very hard to believe this is a real Mensa test”
ROTFLMAO
23,30: Looks like 21 was being totally serious.
@31, what was your first clue?
MENSA members own Macs.
if you were able to open excel, you failed.
-retail
17 correct.
i work for myself
-retail,
Macs run Macrohard office for the cross over types…
This machine is an imac running Window’s XP and Apple Leopard in a dual boot structure… both operating systems have their own version of MS office installed…
Retail at 38—
It’s called “Office: Mac 2008″.
Turn in your KayPro portable and get with the program.
95th percentile (around a 720) on the GMAT gets you into Mensa. I would guess a lot of people on here have at least that.
it would be great if someone in HR put this on your bank’s intranet and who ever spent more than 5 minutes on the test got canned… hmmmmmm…
Thank you for your support!
~Fake Steve Jobs
thank you for the update.
it was a joke, you failed twice.
-retail
lol it is 9 Provinces in South Africa
I missed getting into MENSA by just one point!
They said, “Point is, Bad Leg, you just ain’t smart enough!”
~Bad Leg Quezada
Mensa has dumbed down its standards so that I now qualify from an ACT test that I took in 1984.
My 10 year old daughter qualifies, but she is much smarter and hopefully will avoid corporate finance.
question 31 – 6 balls to an over in cricket
#10…5 T on a F = 5 Tits on a F’n bull.
#20…8 T on an O = 8 Tits on an Ox.
See, that wasn’t hard. No wonder I passed the f’n Mensa test all those years ago.
The Guy from Delaware
Bess, if you weren’t so damn cute, I’d be offended…
We are pretty fucking stupid since no one got the one which makes us smart-
23 P of C in the H B: 23 pairs of chromosomes in the Human Body
3 W on a T
3 wheels on a tricycle
My facebook IQ test result gave me 139, I therefore deem Mensa and its associated tests to be below me.
Bow in honor to me you half-wits!
Yours
A Mac Owner
(Hint on employment… the MAC laptop lets me surf DB without getting busted logging in via my (non MAC) desk top.)
Yours
Bulge Bracket IB’er
If you want all the answers, save as as a .csv file and open that file in notepad. Sorry to ruin it.
Fuck Mensa! I went to a meeting and it turned into a raunchy coke and fuck fest. 18 year old big titty Japanese girls dancing around in spike heel stilettos for drooling buck studs half out of their mind on generic seconal hoping and praying to ride that rickshaw up that Ho Chi Minh trail.
Best meating ever.
3 H and S a 5
SPODE
#58 eats my ass.
@51
Are you a meth addict?
Googled the answers in milliseconds.
Googled the answers in milliseconds.
Googled the answers in milliseconds.
19 in about 15 minutes then quit.
I have at least one mensa member on my team who would blow the charts of the assburger test.
This is skewed towards WASPy Brits. Rugby, cricket, the new testament, WTF?
6 B to an O in C
6 Bitches to an OG in Compton.
this is obviously a hoax-
20 8 T on a O
8 tentacles on A OCTUPUS??
GET YOUR GRAMMAR RIGHT BEFORE YOU START CREATING IQ TESTS
13 stripes on the us flag
I assume I got everything right! I am an economist at global engineering firm working in one of the England branches.
What is asspergers? ,commentator 65
Here’s the real answer to the test: anyone wasting time on this is automatically too stupid for MENSA.
Selec All Past Values Text Black. Scroll Right. Does that mean I am smarter than the mensa dorks that invented the quiz?
a little out of date now 11 provinces in SA
Whew! I got to 8. Man, my head hurts. Feel the need to drop a few cows!
TOGFD
23 and a I think 100 centavos to a real should count as well.
But clearly, dreamed up by a South African. Maybe Ernie Els on a long flight.
dyslexic..too long …couldn’t read..
im dyslexic and got 33…or was it 33..im not sure now
funny how only 2 mensa members got full marks.
stupid fucks
You only need an IQ in the low 130′s for MENSA. Of course, that is higher than most here who think they are pretty smart (i.e. anybody who took this test seriously).
#32 = brilliant. Honorable mention to #73