Who Put The 'B' In CNBC?

The November issue of Vanity Fair has a story featuring two ladies near and dear to all of our hearts: Maria Bartiromo and Erin Burnett. Specifically, what may or may not be a network-manufactured rivalry between the "Money Honey" and the "Street Sweetie." Both parties claim the catfight is in no way based in reality, though Erin does admit to "getting it," telling writer Suzanna Andrews, "Maybe it's...a male-fantasy thing."

The timing of this article is actually quite a coincidence because just the other day we were wondering to ourselves if the fur was still flying between the two, or if the claws had been retracted. We were leaning toward the latter, and that made us a little sad. But since they whole thing is supposedly not real anyway, what we're thinking here is that we (you) should come up with some new scenarios that could be reignite things. Then we (me) will figure out a way to plant the seeds of said scenarios and we (me and you) will watch Catfight 2.0 grow. Or, since the whole thing's allegedly a sham (SO THEY SAY), you can just replay whatever we come up with in your heads as though it's real. Either way, someone wins.

Okay, so far, all we've got is 1. Some sort of love triangle involving Dennis Kneale and 2. A daily competition in which Charlie Gasparino places a piece of soprassata on set, equidistant between the ladies, and they must race, on-air, to grab it. Those both suck, but I bet you can come up with something better, and I challenge you to do so at this time. For inspiration, pics of the ladies from the article after the jump.

erinburnettvf.jpg

mariabartiromovf.jpg

Comments

1

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 1:29PM

can we get:

too estrogen laden; didn't read.

for the money shot?

2

Posted by peWonderWoman, Sep 30, 2008 1:29PM

Maria Bartiromo and Erin Burnett. BHEH

I am so confused, if nobody trusts Bush, and the Bailout is Bush's plan and he is urging it and the republicans defeated it in the house and the republican's are the new "bad guys" and all of a sudden people who had not been regulated and profited from it are now screaming for regulation and giving republicans dirty looks while Obama, Bush and McCain are all pushing for the bail out revival however, McCain and Obama are preaching "change" or “reform” and the only plan that has emerged is this "bail out plan" (by Bush) and it has not passed and even though the 777 dow dip happened yesterday, consumer confidence is still high, the market today is relatively calm and I still have a job.... is there a possibility this is a consequence of hysteria? How come nobody is saying... we will face hard times but just might make it out okay and maybe even stronger then ever? And why can't a candidate offer American's the bailout cash instead of the banks? Won't American’s naturally pump that money back anyway? Am I thinking like a re re here? Are we freaking out about change? And where is responsibility!!!!?!?!? Blame this blame that! Wha wha wha (Charlie Brown Style) Wall Street versus Main Street, Democrats versus Republicans- we are in the midst of a financial civil war! Yet, it is business as usual. Except our desks are placed on thin ice which is wearing thin because wait… Global warming. Can I extend blame to global warming, Michael Moore is blaming heath care, I want to blame global warming… no no I change my stance. I want to blame the Ipod, Christian Loubutin and plasma television. McCain offering a voice while Obama is a bench warmer receiving praise and democrats supporting a Bush policy and republican’s shooting it down…

My head is spinning and I can heart the world laughing at us. It is a nightmare and all I can hear is Rihanna singing “HYSTERIA” over and over again. American’s have had their balls cut off and are at the mercy of government.

3

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 1:31PM

Idea: place two pieces of sopressata on each lady, and place Gasparino in between. Which will he eat first?

4

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 1:32PM

NO MORE MARK TO MARKET!!!

MARK TO FANTASY-LAND!!!

when all the bad paper dissapears, all of my fears will too!

5

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 1:37PM

So the rivalry is a sham... wow. i dont know how i can cope with that news.

6

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 1:39PM

erin burnett is a total bitch. i bet it's real, and not because i think it's hot (which i don't).

7

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 1:40PM

Damn,Maria B is fine.

8

Posted by BSD, Sep 30, 2008 1:41PM

@2, are you the girl from the CapIQ commercial? (Analyst, not VP)
p.s. your points, however convoluted, are quite apt.

9

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 1:44PM

Bess, they don't hold a candle to you.

Post picture of yourself and prove me right!

10

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 1:45PM

becky quick would be my pick.

11

Posted by Mr Jones, Sep 30, 2008 1:45PM

The rivalry was re-fueled by Maria learning that Erin's "8 ways to impress me" Mens' Health article was originally supposed to be "9 Ways..."

However, Mens' Health removed the 9th: "Getting my network to give the heave to that bottom-heavy ho that I work with."

12

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 1:46PM

becky quick would be my pick.

13

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 1:48PM

trish regan is so much hotter

14

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 1:48PM

becky quick smokes these fools
-Warren Buffett

15

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 1:49PM

I guess we now know why there are two "Cs" in CNBC.

16

Posted by peWonderWoman, Sep 30, 2008 1:51PM

@ BSB

You have given away my secret identity. Now I may need to bail out your a$$

17

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 2:05PM

Rebecca Jarvis wins hands down

18

Posted by FUNdamental, Sep 30, 2008 2:12PM

maybe a timed event. You lock them in a room with haines, and tie a jelly doughnut to their back. She who keeps the doughnut longest wins. (and marky mark is the big winner)

19

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 2:12PM

Melissa Francis!

20

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 2:18PM

Margaret Brennan! Total hottie.

Truth is, anyone can replace Erin Burnett tomorrow. She just reads teleprompters -- not a journalist like those surrounding her. No gravitas. 1 year at GS and then jumping around media jobs.

She's a good producer, fair on-air personality. Her real future is on the Today Show set talking to chefs and doing more yoga.

Her appearances on Meet The Press are comical. Almost cringe-worthy.

21

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 2:31PM

That pic of Erin makes it look almost like she has a rack. Guess the found the million and second use for the sham-wow.

22

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 2:36PM

2 Anchors, 1 Cup.

23

Posted by hawk99, Sep 30, 2008 2:43PM

who do you think is the Fox correspondent that she ripped?

http://www.foxbusiness.com/our-team/personalities/nicole-petallides/

24

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 2:50PM

I don't get the picture of Erin in the red dress. It's kinda 30s - Myrna Loyish in a way, coulda been all right, but misses somehow.

On camera, I've got to agree, she's a total featherweight. She seems to feel that everything she reports relates to some sort of private ironic conversation she's got going on, but what she feels is ironic and hip is really superficial and shallow.

25

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 2:57PM

Forget the CNBC women - Erin Andrews all the way!

26

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 3:01PM

@23 - sounds like Carney in drag

27

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 3:21PM

#2 What's this peWonderWoman all about #2......can't you stick to the subject matter

28

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 3:22PM

The only competition that separates real women from the rest...pole dancing competition. Maria would kick Erin's narrow ass up and down the block. Maria Bella! She is the meat that real men want.

-BeckyBootFan

29

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 3:25PM

How would you know Becky Boot Fan?.....28. Do you know her personally?

30

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 3:28PM

@24 -

I agree. How many times in any given day has Burnett cited an e-mail she received from an anonymous CEO or hedge fund manager as evidence of her insider-knowledge?

@ 21 -

A strong probability. The VF website has a bigger picture. Looks more like a tupperware bowl she managed to squeeze in there. Hope it's BPA free!

31

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 3:32PM

@24 -

I agree. How many times in any given day has Burnett cited an e-mail she received from an anonymous CEO or hedge fund manager as evidence of her insider-knowledge?

@ 21 -

A strong probability. The VF website has a bigger picture. Looks more like a tupperware bowl she managed to squeeze in there. Hope it's BPA free!

32

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 3:51PM

Trish Regan is really hot, she has brains and likes emerging markets. Perfect for me!

33

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 3:54PM

Trish Regan is really hot, she has brains and likes emerging markets. Perfect for me!

34

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 6:57PM

Erin Burnett all the way!!!!!!

35

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 7:12PM

No doubt the real cat fight between Erin and Maria would only happen if one wins the right to interview Jesus Christ.

36

Posted by guest, Sep 30, 2008 7:15PM

I love you Erin!

37

Posted by guest, Oct 01, 2008 11:43AM

what in the WORLD makes you think EITHER of those women would look twice at dennis kneale?

and maria is just unwatchable. her voice is horrible.

Post Your Comment