In times of turmoil, you cannot always trust words to mean what they mean. Often they mean something they don’t mean at all. Our guide to financial turmoil meaning should clear some of this up. Or not.
Key:
“If You Hear This” = “Read This” (Source)
“Low Quality Rally” = “Our Dartboard Malfunctioned” (UBS)
“We Might Encounter A Slight Correction” = “Expect A 40% Drop” (AIG)
“We Believe We Are Sufficiently Capitalized” = “Our Leverage Is Still 24:1″ (Lehman Brothers)
“We Expect To Benefit From A Flight To Quality” = “Shorts Have Created So Much Buy To Lend Action Our Stock Is Buoyed” (Goldman Sachs)
“Another Front Is Opening” = “No One Wants Our Stock Anymore” (Barclays)
“It’s Unclear Who Is Going To Be A Credit Provider Going Forward” = “No One Will Lend To Us” (Concordia Advisors)
“No Evident Catalyst For Ending The Pain” = “We Are Flooded With Redemption Requests And Our Attorney Quit” (Feda Capital)
“We Have Changed The Format Of Our Earnings Call A Little Bit” = “No Questions From Pesky Analysts After That Smartass From UBS Mouthed Off” (Baldwin)
“Markets Set To Bounce” = “Our Editor Has Almost Lost Everything” (Wall Street Journal)
“EU Has Tradition Of Bailouts” = “Don’t Look At Me Like That, Germany” (Financial Times)
“Short Sellers Are Attacking Our Stock” = “My Mistress And I Are Fleeing Tonight To A Country With No Extradition” (Pick One)
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
First
http://www.city-journal.org/html/10_1_the_trillion_dollar.html
Awesome – thanks for taking my previous suggestion under advisement.
Wilford Brimley is the man to solve the housing crisis.
糞三明治 = Tbills shamwow!
“Government supported bailout” = Taxpayer spread your cheeks w/no vaseline.
@ 5, I didn’t know they sold the shamwow in China.
“…said a young man, in conversation with someone on his cellphone” = “we’ll quote any chump we please, because murdoch is really turning this rag around” (wsj)
i hear namibia is wonderful this time of year. who’s in?
Eleventh
#10 and #11…..well played…very well played.
any link to the baldwin call with the “smartass from ubs?”
15th
Any word on why custodian banks are tanking?
15 Maybe cause they’re big asset managers (esp passive, ie index money), and revenues from that are projected downward.
Sexy Sixteenth Bday
@16 but who hasn’t known that for at least 6 months? theyr in trouble today – i don’t get whats changed for them
POOPIES!!!
Unrelated: Biden is a complete moron.
He’s calling on Americans with incomes over $250K (just above his own) to be “patriotic,” that is “to pay higher taxes”. He justifies this as “still paying less taxes than under Reagan.”
Biden = Fucking idiot! He wants to completely kill our economy! Taxes were higher under Reagan because Reagan was saddled with legacy taxes that Dems put in to finance the Vietnam war. He reduced them at the highest rate possible. Biden does not get this at all!
Someone check Biden’s head please. He wants to impose higher taxes on the only people who know how to actually generate prosperity. Of course, Biden won’t have to pay anything extra himself (his own family’s income is just below $250K) — what a bigot!
Biden = Unpatriotic dim-witted asshole.
“Reagan was saddled with legacy taxes that Dems put in to finance the Vietnam war”
Has anyone given any thought to when we might be expected to pay for the wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, and eventually Iran?
- Captain Obvious.
@21
Yes, and that’s what you use inflation for, not taxes.
F’ing genius.
“Reagan was saddled with legacy taxes that Dems put in to finance the Vietnam war”
Those IDIOT DEMS actually expect us to pay for a war?
LOLOLOLOL!
We BUSHITES are smarter than that. We know that you don’t have to raise taxes to KICK MAJOR FUCKING CAMEL JOCKEY ASS!
@21 and @23:
Take Econ 101.
You raise inflation, not taxes.
Your revolting LOLOLOLOL really does not belong here.
@21 and @23:
Take Econ 101.
To pay for the war, you raise inflation, not taxes.
Your revolting LOLOLOLOL really does not belong here.
“He wants to impose higher taxes on the only people who know how to actually generate prosperity.”
Like, say, a Lehman i-banker?
Disgruntled Republican
18 Look at all the asset managers. Legg Mason, T Rowe, Franklin, plus State Street, BONY Mellon, Northern Trust. Significant declines in the market mean lower fees for both custody and asset management, which tend to be asset based.
@23:
1) You have no clue what you are saying from the economic standpoint.
2) are you and arab? What’s up with kicking some camel ass? is that a terrorist expression?
Christ, I’m sick of politicians. To quote some movie I once saw, “We are so fucked.”
I’m thinking of going native and moving to the Amazon. What? They burned down the Amazon! Oh, fuck.
@26
To wit, Lehman bankers would not make even $10K going forward, wouldn’t you say?
Morgan Stanley, I have a message for you:
你是我的荡妇
I wish Dealbreaker would make Limbaugh and Rove register instead of being a “guest”.
24/25: Raising inflation is a form of taxation. And on the whole, it’s the the most destructive type. Did you sleep through the econ class you were recommending?
What is inflation?
severance package = unemployement check
severance ham at xmas = ham in a soup kitchen
severance for fuld = stealing your severance package from lowly employees
inflation= printing money
printing money = toilet paper
toilet paper = leh derivative contracts
leh derivative contracts = aig insurance
aig insurance = us backed securities
us backed securities = us tax payers
us tax payers = waiting in line at the severance package office
this is how money is circulated if your too dense
I’m CEO of a hedge fund. What is inflation, and what is it used for ? (I get the shamwow concept)
I’m CEO of a hedge fund. What is inflation, and what is it used for ? (I get the shamwow concept)
I’m CEO of a hedge fund. What is inflation, and what is it useful for ? (I get the shamwow concept)
I’m CEO of a hedge fund. What is inflation, and what is it useful for ? (Consider I get the shamwow concept)
#31 go fuck yourself
Here it is the US – you bitch!
Sorry for the 4x post. I’m unfamiliar with posting at DB from the Blackberry.
@31 go learn some chinese please… “you are my horny wife” doesn’t make any sense at all… i know the chinese wanna buy MS, but it doesn’t make MS horny… gimme a break…
“Shore up” = We fucked up
this is horrible..
the inflation seems to be rising and rising.
regards.
http://www.reversemortgagepage.com/
VdBdGR Major thankies for the article.Much thanks again. Awesome.
mUFDmp Im obliged for the post.Thanks Again. Really Great.