• 30 Oct 2008 at 9:09 AM

All Guard Dogs Go To Heaven?

By Bess Levin

Picture 125.pngBella is dead. I’m not kidding. We found out last night Lehman Brothers’ main bitch, who was laid off by Barclays, was rushed to the hospital on her last day at 745, and diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer. She died on Sunday. Apparently she didn’t want live in a world in which Lehman didn’t exist. The silver lining here is that B-dog had been scheduled to make an appearance in Washington the third week in November, at which time Waxman was planning on grilling her about her role in the bank’s downfall, and shame her over eating Kibbles ‘n Bits when she should’ve been taking one for the team and going generic (Elijah Cummings had copies of PetSmart receipts ready to fire off and Rosa DeLauro had been practicing her Crazy Bitch on Bitch monologue for months). I’m just glad she won’t have to dignify that shit with an answer. Anyway. Go bid on the now invaluable ID card. It’s what Bella would’ve wanted.


Picture 124.png
Bella and her handler, Kevin, a few days before she died.

Comments (42)

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  1. 1
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 9:12 AM

    this could be ominous, bess.
    not how i wanted to start the day…

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 9:13 AM

    Bess that is totally fucked! Say it isn’t so! Please…damn. Ruined my fucking day. Poor girl…
    Fuld should’ve had her tumor.

  3. 3
    Posted by StillNoCouch | October 30, 2008 at 9:15 AM

    Nice way to start the day.
    I’m surprised the mainstream media hasn’t picked up on this yet.

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 9:17 AM

    @3- the MSM hasn’t written shit about bella.

  5. 5
    Posted by Seaman Bodine | October 30, 2008 at 9:19 AM

    let’s just get it over with
    dick fuld killed bella

  6. 6
    Posted by Beerio | October 30, 2008 at 9:23 AM

    Wow. What a downer. Talk about life being a bitch.

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 9:28 AM

    Bess/EP!
    http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601109&sid=atYe9NUzFzvQ&refer=home

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 9:29 AM

    RIP Bella.

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 9:31 AM

    Not cool Bess. Not cool.
    RIP Bella.

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 9:33 AM

    @9- how the fuck does this have anything to do with bess? dont shoot the messenger, jackass.

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 9:38 AM

    This is sad…I really loved that bitch.
    R.I.P. Bella…you’re in a better place now.
    Bleeding Lehman green!

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 9:42 AM

    idiot funny teeth brits! Killed a poor dog.

  13. 13
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 9:43 AM

    idiot funny teeth brits! Killed a poor dog.

  14. 14
    Posted by VOL IS KING | October 30, 2008 at 9:44 AM

    I heard it wasn’t cancer at all. Last week she was served with a subpoena from the office of Henry Waxman, she was going to name names.
    Dick Fuld had no choice but to take her out.

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 9:46 AM

    In case you dont already know, Bella’s wake will be held at Tonic (West), on 48th and 7th. I hope to see all L-word employees in attendence. This is what Bella would have wanted…

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 9:49 AM

    sorry for the dog. funny post tho

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 9:51 AM

    Front page photo of IBD this morning has headline” Why The Mortgage Crisis Happened” and a picture below of a forclosure sign and below that Barney Frank, Obama and Rep. Richard Baker.
    I didn’t know the Swift Boat Veterans were working for IBD these days.

  18. 18
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 10:04 AM

    RIP bella… we’ll missed the days when we used to play liar’s poker together…
    -jingles

  19. 19
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 10:07 AM

    slow day?

  20. 20
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 10:07 AM

    RIP Bella.
    can you give us an update on where the money from the auction is going? have you chosen a charity?
    thx!

  21. 21
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 10:09 AM

    @19- nope

  22. 22
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 10:11 AM

    John Carney not only posted this story (at least he footnoted Dealbreaker) – he QUOTED FROM THE COMMENTS.
    When is your site not getting enough traffic? When you quote from another site’s comments.

  23. 23
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 10:16 AM

    My guess is Hemangiosarcoma. A very aggressive blood-borne cancer with a zero percent survival rate.
    It afflicts primarily shepards and labs between 9-10 years old.

  24. 24
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 10:17 AM

    This is so sad, the picture made me well up. RIP Bella

  25. 25
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 10:19 AM

    Dick Fuld – you drove a stake through this poor animal’s heart, and your bad vibes gave the poor bitch cancer. You pig. PETA is going to be all over you, let the protests begin!
    Her blood is on your hands.
    BELLA – Never forget.

  26. 26
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 10:19 AM

    twenty-fifth

  27. 27
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 10:33 AM

    Bella, this one’s for you, homegirl (pours the contents of his 40 on his office floor)….

  28. 28
    Posted by cy | October 30, 2008 at 10:43 AM

    That’s the thing about WASP’s; they love animals, can’t stand people.

  29. 29
    Posted by Suits | October 30, 2008 at 10:46 AM

    28 can you blame them?

  30. 30
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 11:06 AM

    29: well said.

  31. 31
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 11:08 AM

    Now the cynic would say that you concocted this whole story about Bella passing in order to ramp demand of your Bella security id cards…
    Which would be pretty fucking low

  32. 32
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 11:10 AM

    @31- the cynic would be wrong.

  33. 33
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 11:10 AM

    29: well said.

  34. 34
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 11:10 AM

    Now the cynic would say that you concocted this whole story about Bella passing in order to ramp demand for your ‘Bella security id cards’…
    Which would be pretty fucking low

  35. 35
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 11:13 AM

    Is there really a wake at Tonic? If so, when? I’m a Lehman refugee and I am heartbroken about Bella. She was a bright spot in many of our days. She was only 7, I am shocked at her passing. BTW, she was actually a big fan of Dick Fuld’s — he used to give her dog treats on a near daily basis.

  36. 36
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 11:17 AM

    This is the only time I have felt sorry for anyone on this site and its a dog. Something is wrong with me. lol

  37. 37
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 11:33 AM

    @36 ditto

  38. 38
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 11:47 AM

    Sad day for bella…may she go to doggie heaven…however i smell lawsuit…how can they layoff someone with cancer…being as I am the admin of the bella the dog trust fund, i will certainly reap the benefits of this one.
    I sent a subpoena with her crap as signature to old tricky dicky fuld.

  39. 39
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 1:40 PM

    Bella is in a better place and doesn’t have to deal with all the crap going on in this world. RIP

  40. 40
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 8:34 PM

    It is the oldest joke about Wall Street: If you want a friend, buy a dog.

  41. 41
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 9:38 PM

    @17 – hey Dumb Fuck, Baker is a Republican so your swift boat analogy doesn’t hold water. Go back to Moveon or the Daily Kook. Less than a week and this crap is over.
    RIP Bella

  42. 42
    Posted by guest | February 11, 2009 at 2:51 PM

    I’ll always miss Bella around the 12th floor. Will never be the same at 74S.

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