It doesn’t get any better for fans of moderate to heavy S&M than the caged arena of certain conference calls in this environment. True, instead of tuxedo clad Michael Buffer’s trademarked voice, you get a nasally, twentysomething operator who can’t get through a sentence containing “forward looking statements” without stuttering, but I think if you just close your eyes and let yourself, “And for our next questioner we have Meredith Whitney from Oh-Pen-Hem-Er and Company” can become “…and in the left corner, weighing in at one hundred and thirty pounds, hailing from Brown University and parts unknown, the Citi Slayer, the Dollar Dominatrix, Meredith ‘Markdown’ Whitney!” And if you really try, I think you can picture someone pouring glistening oil all over Jamie “The Borg” Dimon just before he steps onto the canvas.
…Mr. Dimon was also quick to state that his bank is not cutting back significantly and said he sees the loan market returning to normal in the future.
Ms. Whitney, who has a “perform” rating on JPMorgan’s stock, then asked: “If you really believed that, you would be gunning credit card lines, right?”
“We are not speculators,” Mr. Dimon shot back. (No one on the call challenged him on this point, or at least not audibly.) “We are buying slightly more risky assets and we are growing our business, so we are not panicking.”
Mr. Dimon continued: “Obviously we are trying to modify what is going on — we are not going to say ‘Yahoo, this is over,’ and go extend credit — like we did — without fear. If you are not fearful, you are crazy.”
Then from Ms. Whitney: “I’m fearful, thanks.”
“We know you are,” Mr. Dimon replied, his smile coming through the conference call. “We are waiting for you to reverse your position.”
A quick reversal. A pin. One… Two…
‘If You Are Not Fearful, You Are Crazy’ [The New York Times]
First
Meredith is a hard ass. He can wait till hell freezes over. Even if he is the brilliantly sexy Jamie Dimon, one of the white hats. When his damn bank meets her standards then she may, may change the rating and not a moment sooner. So take that Mr. Dimon.
Who is this broad? Seriously, my man JD doesn’t need to listen to some bimbo giving him lip.
I hear Sykes is head trader at Oppenheimer
She’s maria’s BFF. Maria made her everything she is today. No one ever thanks Maria.
This reads like a Bess post but under Equity Private.
I do like the tags though.
Re: “gunning credit cards”
I can’t speak to JPM, but my brokerage just sent me an Amex and a Visa completely unsolicited and a nice glossy promo promising me wild rewards for every dollar I spend.
Hey, this appears to be the next problem. Oh, why didn’t I buy a house inside the FHA limits? Now I can’t go to the party.
“Hey, chumps: Why are you still paying your mortgages?
By Michelle Malkin • October 15, 2008 12:13 PM ”
http://michellemalkin.com/2008/10/15/hey-chumps-why-are-you-still-paying-your-mortgages/
If you will recall, booyah jim said this very same thing over a year ago. These guys have simply added a little twist.
Boring.
How blase are you? the sexual innuendo and tension contained with in this post could be cut with a knife.
“This reads like a Bess post but under Equity Private.”
Best. Compliment. Ever.
I always thought “Mercy Rule” would be a good alliterative nickname for Merideth.
Erin looked awful pale compared to Mark this morning.
“reverse your position” = ANAL??
-MoneygripWisdom
#7 must be a spambot, what is DB waiting for to kill those spammers?
One of the best benefits of the recovery (when it does come) will be that this woman’s 15 minutes of fame will finally wind down. (Whitney, not EP).
I’d like Meredith Whitney in any position.
H
#16 c’mon she looks like a pug-dog
who am i kidding i would too
Whitney annoys me
#18, Why? Cause the history major called it before WS saw it coming?
We’re gonna need more Whitney’s if this capitalist thing is gonna survive.
Not many people have the nuts to stand up the authority, regardless of their gender.
@ 6
All my credit cards just upped my limit, completely unsolicited, hmmm
What is she going to do when the market turns around. This lady has been riding the crisis for all it’s worth because she knows when the obvious is over so is she. Why people put so much stock into what someone says that did not have more judgement than to marry a professional wrestler is beyond me…
@10 can you post poster name in RSS feed please
Makes much easier to digest
23 again
Also, EP, are you really still employed at a PE shop? I worry about them getting pissed at your posting largesse and laying you off in these hard times.
Additionally, I enjoyed your ongoing video commentary on the inner workings of the financial crisis on your own website (re The Spiral) and wish you would continue there…We are only half through this horror show and I can’t imagine a happy ending.
Finally, if you need some finfin, it is now up to L800 3 pts 4% floor and 105/103/101. Or you could go deal with M&I. Have the debt bitch call me.
Is this out on youtube?