80 million options are set to expire today. For the uninitiated, that’s a lot. (What asshole planed that schedule? Didn’t they know there would be an election on?)
Yes, we’ve already been reminded by the likes of financial journalists, that this equity free fall already exceeds the pain felt during [insert worst crash EV-ahh here], that volatility comes on like a hemorrhagic fever and slaps you around before laying you up so you can slowly bleed to death out of every orifice simultaneously. (Yes, exactly like your freshman year high school math class).
And yes, Europe is all giddy because U.S. markets rallied nicely and Google made its numbers. That’s what we are reduced to. A foreign index rally on Google earnings. I find it hard to imagine a more fragile run up. Then again, there were a number of rallies over the last 60 days on the news that such-and-such investment bank was raising $XX billion in common (again) that boggled the mind. But that’s another story for another day. U.S. futures are having none of it, and have pulled yesterday’s close down quite a bit already.
So it looks like we are in for a wild day. An intensely volatile and wild day. The kind of day where you might find yourself fucked before you even realize your clothes were missing. So, a few pieces of advice to cope with the surprise penetration you thought you were braced for. (It’s always worse than you think at first). Some of you may have heard some of this already:
1. Don’t double down on a losing position. Seriously, people. That’s how you dislocate hips. If you were a gymnast you wouldn’t have this kind of market exposure.
2. Manage your risk carefully. Yes, condoms are a good idea. Spermicidal condoms, however, are a much better idea.
3. Don’t follow the crowd. There’s nothing worse than sudden, unexpected group sex when you aren’t properly prepared.
4. Buy the rumor. Sell the news. (We’re the best source for rumors (which turn out to be true most of the time, I might add), and the Wall Street Journal just isn’t the same paper since… well, you know).
5. Never, never, leave your wingman (wingwoman).
There you go. If anyone is ready to be violated by the volitile markets today, it is now you.
Comments (21)
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FARST
Too Rawr. Didn’t read.
Too long, didn’t put.
Take the day off. It’s safer.
No Trading, No Trouble.
When the fuck did this site become a repository of amateur trading advice and half-baked financial knowledge?
@ 6
waannnnnhhhhhhh!!!!!!
yeah i’m with 6.. is this trader daily now?
6. only read posts by bess.
Europe rallied because the Germans passed their E500B rescue package. There was some concern that Merkel wouldn’t be able to get support from the states, but it ended up passing by a huge margin.
Options expiry could take us anywhere today. Get ready for vol. This is a good day to sit out if you’re a small investor – or maybe trade small if something moves crazy at the end of the day.
Where is Dan Harrison? I’m waiting for him to swoop in an explain what an option is.
agree with #6
but ep is hotter than bess
If I did not know better your saying that your better than the Wall Street Journal. Talk about arrogance! well if it is true then congrats.
13, “your” going to have to go back to Etrade now. Thanks for playing, though.
@12, do we have confirmation that that’s true? Dan Harrison has been here for a minute, and I feel like I know more about him than I do Bess and EP
@14
i do not do etrade and am not a wall street person. I just like seeing what is the news on wall street , i live on main street.
I am CEO of a hedge fund, what is an option?
I’d rather be retail at E*Trade than have Lehman as my prime brokerage.
That’s right, the WSJ is BETTER!! Don’t be jealous, dork.
a little confused here – is this about sex or etrade? and does ANYBODY actually think WSJ is worth even a 30-sec skim? except for the new fashion model bit? duh?
“unexpected group sex” ROFL. Nothing worse than getting stuck by the market.
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