Hiring Watch '08: Goldman Sachs, Merrill Lynch

Note: despite how labor-intensive the task may be, I'll be removing any classless, ignorant comments, so don't bother asking why yours was deleted if you plan on leaving one.

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Comments

1

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 2:39PM

Bess you are inviting the worst in people, have you no shame?

2

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 2:39PM

FIRST

3

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 2:39PM

First.

4

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 2:40PM

I *love* Bess hahaha

5

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 2:41PM

Hasn't Global Alpha already hired enough of the handicapped?

6

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 2:43PM

Wasn't this how all their problems started in the first place?

7

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 2:44PM

it really is tragic. Used tobe you had to Know someone to even be considered. Now we laugh at them scoff even.

8

Posted by trojan , Oct 23, 2008 2:44PM

anybody have 2nd year diabled anylist numbers for MER?

9

Posted by trojan , Oct 23, 2008 2:45PM

anybody have 2nd year disabled S&T numbers for MER?

10

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 2:47PM

University of Chicago pulls the strings in this universe. Unfortunately GS doesn't understand that we are simply nerdy, and calling names won't really solve anything..

UofC '08

11

Posted by girl , Oct 23, 2008 2:47PM

This is interesting. Because if they are talking about physical disabilities, than why not include them in normal recruiting? That's awkward. And if they have mental disabilities it's still awkward, although commendable.

Any clarification?

12

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 2:48PM

Am sure that gov't subsidies help out too. Which btw, I think is absolutely the right thing to do.

13

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 2:50PM

May as well hire Corky from Family Ties --he couldn't possibly screw up worse than the friggin 1400 SAT crowd

14

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 2:50PM

I had the exact same thought as girl.
Who is this targeting??

15

Posted by StillNoCouch , Oct 23, 2008 2:50PM

This joke writes itself.

16

Posted by StupidEquityGuy , Oct 23, 2008 2:50PM

Oct. 23 (Bloomberg) -- Protesters blocked UBS AG's private
banking branch on Zurich's Paradeplatz as hundreds gathered in
the Swiss financial center to seek curbs on executive pay after
the country's largest bank was forced to ask for government aid.
Dozens sat on the steps of the bank's entrance from midday
shouting ``return bonuses!'' and waving red flags at bystanders
and TV cameras. Unia, Switzerland's largest trade union with more
than 200,000 members, said about 1,000 people protested in front
of UBS headquarters at an after-work rally.

17

Posted by Investorcluzo , Oct 23, 2008 2:51PM

bessy, what about the painful double and triple posters? will you remove them too!

btw, I know you are making the new guy take down comments from the knucklers

18

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 2:52PM

Kettle: hello, pot? Kettle. you're black!

19

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 2:52PM

University of Chicago pulls the strings in this universe. Unfortunately GS doesn't understand that we are simply nerdy, and calling names won't really solve anything..

UofC '08

20

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 2:53PM

Another Dog 'n Pony show. Betcha the caterer proving "a light dinner" would not refund deposit, and the handicapped ramp was ordered months ago. Wanna bet photos of this job fair shows up in next years annual report???? Merril and GS just calculating this is a better way to spend coin than a PR firm right now.

21

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 2:53PM

Mahnahmahnah!

22

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 2:54PM

The redundancy in advertising never ceases to amaze me.

23

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 2:55PM

11, 14 et al. Most bankers I know are some variation on the square jawed crew jock type. Its part of the mystique - strong, driven, in command. Usually good looking too, like it or not. The kind of person you like being around. A person in a wheelchair just doesnt hack it. So they're making a special effort to reach out to that person. I doubt they're gonna send them on cold calls, but they have recognized (with help of organizations that lobby hard on these issues) that such people can contribute big time and are also very loyal.

24

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 2:56PM

The real trick will be to hire one without said characteristics...

25

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 2:57PM

Sarah Palin just RS-VP'd

26

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 2:57PM

As long as we only hire White, Male, Top Tier B-School grads I'm fine with hiring handicapped. Hell, they should put all first year analysts in wheelchairs so they can get coffee faster.

27

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 2:58PM

@13 1400 SAT crowd?

Do banks really hire people that retarded?

28

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:02PM

@25 props good one. GS has been ruthlessly jerking around prospective hires though

29

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:04PM

@ 27, i'm fairly certain he is referring to when the sat was out of 1600, you should be spending more time studying intro to accounting and less time on db

30

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:04PM

I've got a couple of old crutches in my closet - can I stumble in with these? Also willing to break out one of my old high school evaluations that said I was "hyperactive and inattentive" - hey, that's a disease now called ADHD.
As a last resort I will tell them I suffer from the Heebie-Jeebies (though that won't work at the GS booth)

31

Posted by girl , Oct 23, 2008 3:06PM

@ 23

Most bankers are attractive? Really.

Whatever you're taking, I want 900 mg of it.

32

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:08PM

@ 27, i'm fairly certain he is referring to when the sat was out of 1600, you should be spending more time studying intro to accounting and less time on db

33

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:09PM

http://www.limeconnect.com/upcoming-events.html

It's not just U Chicago

34

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:09PM

cluzo you lil ass kissing bitch. You're exactly like i thought you were a lil teacher's pet fucktard.'Bessy '

35

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:09PM

BL is dead to me.

thw, thw (spitting on the ground.)

36

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:10PM

@spitting on the ground-- why? it's valid info to share, and she wasn't disrespectful about it. or do you take issue with her deleting ignorant, classless comments?

37

Posted by whatelseisgoingon , Oct 23, 2008 3:11PM

@ 13 Corky was on Life goes on, not Family Ties.

What passes for disabled these days? If I write my resume in Crayon, will that get me a job at ML? Or would I be lost in the sea of resumes from Lehm also written in crayon?

38

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:11PM

31 Girl: I'm sure you know what I mean. Esp the ones they sic on clients. Its a confident, I'm in command look. Not like models, but def good looking.

39

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:12PM

Q. What's the difference between Sarah Palin's vagina and her mouth?

A. Retarded things come out of her vagina only occasionally.

40

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:12PM

@8/@9 glad i wasn't drinking coffee when i read that. fucking hilarious.

41

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:17PM

Bess,
I've got talents. Would you take advantage of them?
Or you'd rather wipe my post ... with tongue?

42

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:18PM

@29 so you think 1400 is good? Acceptable for BBVA equipment leasing in Buenos Aires maybe, but not any top tier firm

43

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:25PM

I had a 1050 SAT and I work in front office of a top tier bank. I am profitable as well so eat it.

44

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:25PM

@31 most bankers are attractive at the time of hire.

One year into the job , they all look the same - hollow eyed, grey (skin and hair), balding, and getting fat. They are also much bigger assholes that when they were hired because they are getting laid for the first time in their life (the good old days, when bonus was big and so was...)

45

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:28PM

@ 29

Nope. I was definitely talking about 1400 out of 1600. Now go cry in the corner...or attend this event.

46

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:29PM

Bess,
I've got talents. Would you take advantage of them?
Or you'd rather wipe my post ... with tongue?

47

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:29PM

43, once again you should remember that the "genius" quants caused these problems. and youre 'top tier' firm is likely in dire straits so stfu

48

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:30PM

Having worked for Merrill until may when i got a better paying job (not hard to do with ML's cheap pay) i can tell you that all the "mentally hadicapped" people already work there. They are the ones who got them where they are today..good riddence for the downfall of Merrill.

49

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:31PM

Guest@#43...

No 1400 SAT for you? I guess that's why you're not at a 'top tier' firm either. SAT 1400 out of possible 1600 not good enough? You must be f'n dreaming.

Ever think that maybe the disabled students in Chicago couldn't have done much worse on Wall St than all the supposedly 'enabled' clowns did lately?

The Guy from Delaware

50

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:32PM

sry meant 42 not 43

51

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:33PM

MER and GS Chicago people have been asked by HR to refrain from JO&Cing in the handicap stalls as there might actually be someone with a legitimate need for the facilities now.

52

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:33PM

@ whatelse...

That was hilarious! You made my day.

53

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:33PM

There's no ramp or handicapped bathrooms at my boutique.

54

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:33PM

Shitigroup is not top tier.

55

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:33PM

@11, it's no different than the "diversity" career fairs that recruiters hold. Happens all the time

56

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:34PM

TGFD meant #42, not #43. My apologies.

The Guy from Delaware

57

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:37PM

49 TGFD You may not be aware that the SAT now has three parts, each 800 max. So the attempted lame joke is that 1400 combined is actually pretty sad.

58

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:37PM

As a recent UofC graduate now employed at a bank, i can offer the following observations:
1) we are nerdy.
2) we are not the most attractive student body (understatement)
3) the bankers i know resemble the university of chicago student body. There are diamonds in the rough, but we're all nerds at heart.
4) disabled university of chicago students are prime candidates for jobs in finance. Not only are they likely to have majored in a math or science related field (yeah i'm not gonna back that up) and had to overcompensate for the physical disadvantages by becoming incredibly and irritatingly intelligent, but they probably have really good/agile hands/arms for working the keyboard. Excel home court advantage.

59

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:38PM

@ 23

So people with disabilities are more "loyal" than people without disabilities? At least we're cutting through the stereotypes here.

60

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:39PM

58 You'd better spruce yourself up if you ever have a hope of seeing clients, and therefore bringing in business (and a bonus).

61

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:43PM

@57 i believe you may not be the aware one the SAT out of 2400 was introduced for the HS graduating class of 06 meaning at the earliest they would be graduating is '10 and maybe some in'09 either way... think before you are so quick to contradict

62

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:44PM

@49 1560. Guess it wasn't as competitive during your day when the first computers rolled out

63

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:44PM

59 If the job was hard won and landing a new one is going to be just as difficult (which in fact is generally the case for someone with disabilities), the person is going to be loyal. And add on the soft issues: you're comfortable with the people youre around, the commute, the facilities. Saying so may not be PC, but why is it so hard to believe.

64

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:47PM

FIRST

65

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:48PM

I can't believe yu peple are talking about SAT's. After your 1st job no one cares, and I would rather hire a hard working quick learner than a booky nerd who has no basis in real life.

66

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:49PM

What's with these screen names? "The Guy From Delaware?" Save it for your World of Warcraft alone time after your unfruitful accounting job

67

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:50PM

Guest@#57...

Thank you for the 3-part SAT clarification; however, it sounds as though 45=27 was talking about 2-part = 1600. Apparently, 1400 out of 1600 is not good enough for him.

The Guy from Delaware

68

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:51PM

first as well

69

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:54PM

@65...I think recruiters care. Just try looking for a comparable finance job right now

70

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:55PM

@67--Goldman messengers and maintenance men have 1400 SATs

Maybe thats why you're in Delaware

71

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:58PM

@63

I wasn't disagreeing with the concept of disabled workers being particularly loyal - it just sounded a bit funny in this context (e.g., I seriously doubt that lobby groups would dare bring up the loyalty angle explicitly).

Of course, you probably get the same loyalty benefit from hiring individuals that are extremly socially awkward - a group that represents ~40% of my BB analyst class.

72

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:59PM

@57 I'm confused.

SPODE

73

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:59PM

@69...recruiters ? every job a recruiter ever called me on was a big waste, they only want to make $ for themselves. They throw lots of s**t at a wall and hope somthing sticks. Every worthwhile job i have ever had I got because of my own networking and good reputation. recruiters are pimps !

74

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:59PM

Apparently Kellogg will accept the kind of 'tards that throw up on themselves and spit at people.

75

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 3:59PM

@56

TGFD is a mechanic, not an accountant. Don't put him on the pedestal.

Hey TGFD, get your fucking ass over here and wax my maserati!

76

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:00PM

"loyalty" = you can sh*t on them...

77

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:03PM

If you want loyalty go buy a fucking dog. I will never be loyal to a company again.

78

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:03PM

Specialty Finance Olympics?

ERASED.

79

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:04PM

You can sh*t on any of them, disabled or not. Anyone who's actually in this business knows this all too well.

80

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:04PM

To retarded, Didn't read.

81

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:05PM

"To" retarded indeed.

82

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:07PM

@ 77
agreed..the only thing you need to be loyal to is yourself and your wallet. Loayalty is for those that are afraid to move onto bigger and better ! just look at John Thain, how loyal was he ? loyal enough to cash out, and move on...

83

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:07PM

First!

(Where do I send my resume?)

84

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:08PM

speaking of classless, where was bess on @39? i'm no SP fan, but wow...

85

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:09PM

i scored low on my SAT's..what up with "first" can i be 2nd ?

86

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:10PM

I just assumed DB would have been included on the employer list.

87

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:12PM

82 Duh.. That's why you hire the disabled. They have no choice but to be loyal.

88

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:14PM

@39-Last

89

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:14PM

@86- what's worse- a supposedly retarded website or a able-minded person who reads and comments on the site?

90

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:19PM

@#66...

WhoTF are you, and how long have you been around DB?

@#62...

1560 out of 1600? Is that what you got? Why then are you laid off now? BTW, 1400 of 1600 is a very competitive score at most places.

I've served as a volunteer recruiter for the past 20 yrs for a prestigious east coast school with 18k+ applicants per year. Take my word for it clown. A pair of 700's is a damn good score for a kid who has qualifications beyond just an SAT score. A high GPA, Sports, other activities, student council, etc are all part of the equation.

As you say, the first recognizable computers appeared during the very early 1970's, during my time. SAT scores were the same then (400 to 800 each, M & V), and just as competitive as they are now.

You're still a clown. 1560 indeed. Any student I've interviewed who has scores like that has generally been a douchebag. I doubt if you're an exception.

The Guy from Delaware

91

Posted by Lowly Assistant , Oct 23, 2008 4:24PM

89,

Deutsche, not Dealbreaker (I believe).

92

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:26PM

You all have too much time on your hands. Why don't you all get busy making money !!

93

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:27PM

TGFD says, 70 + 75 = Zero. Two f'n clowns.

The Guy from Delaware

94

Posted by Goldman Sachs Neophyte , Oct 23, 2008 4:27PM

@39, your post was hilarious. Congrats. Screw Palin and McCain.

-that guy from Goldman Sachs

95

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:28PM

@90

I got a perfect 1600 and yes, I'm a total d-bag (proud of it too).

Here's my Friday pick up line:
Hey babe? Wanna score a perfect 1600?

Then I promptly brandish my laminated SAT report in her face.

Ohhhh... trust me. That gets the girls wet. All. The. Time.

96

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:32PM

@ 95
you mean you never had girl ask you what you got on your SAT's ?
Happens to me all the time !

97

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:34PM

Too long, didn't read.

98

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:36PM

@96

I preempt them. Just to show how superior I am to them. And how lucky they are to even be around me

99

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:36PM

@#95...

Haha! Tomorrow's Friday. 1560 or 1600, what's the difference. I sure you'll score with that line. Haha! A good one.

The Guy from Delaware

100

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:41PM

@99

There are only 2 types of SAT scores: Perfect and imperfect

1600 = perfect

1560 = 1599 = 1400 = 900 = 1 = 0 = imperfect

101

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:42PM

i am a teacher at a public school. what is an SAT?

102

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:47PM

it's not Down syndrome...it's UP syndrome...

103

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:48PM

As an investment professional who started out as a "normal"/non-disabled candidate who is not white and male, it was already competitive. There's prejudices, but there are opportunities.

Then I became disabled (via a random event) ... the medical treatment took almost a year, and I recovered to the extent that the disability is not externally obvious if I am careful. Getting back in is so much tougher -- not sure if anyone has the experience of starting an interview with interviewer exclaiming "you have such an impressive resume" and ending with a quick goodbye to never be heard from again once you explained what was the timeout about ... repeat this experience many, many times, and work as an over-qualified contractor knowing full well why you are not getting the fulltime job offer ...

Limeconnect does not see a job as an entitlement but instead tries to coordinate with the firms to look beyond the disabilities and recognise that some of us who are missing one arm or maybe some other physical part have abilities as competitive as any able-bodied candidate. So would really appreciate it if some of these commentors here try to remember that they have a family who may need some help to secure a career, or that these masters of the universe may one day become disabled via a random event.

104

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 4:54PM

@103

Car accident i presume. That's the most probable/common random event.

105

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 5:07PM

@103 why don't you not disclose your injury? you say it is not externally obvious, just say you did something else for that 1 year, took care of an ill relative, etc.

106

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 5:09PM

104 Not 103 here but, jeez, what does it matter? Read and digest the thoughtful comments in 103 and hopefully youll be a better person.

107

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 5:12PM

105 Also not 103 but first, lying always gets you in trouble. I think what hes getting at is that the event becomes the elephant in the room, more important than you are and inhibits the ability to land the job. Its much easier to hire someone thats less controversial.

108

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 5:16PM

at 107, i understand the prejudices against him created by the disability, i just have never been an interview where I wasked to disclose something like that, and it seems to me that if he can get away with it not being obvious, then it shouldn't be brought up, if it is discovered later on and he is fired, then he clearly has a case against the company

109

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 5:22PM

Corky is from Life Goes on, Not Family Ties

110

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 6:00PM

I'm disappointed at the lack of words like "handicapable" or "stairs, the final frontier"

111

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 6:17PM

I actually think hiring disabled personnel makes sense.

If they have difficulty getting around, then they should lose money less quickly and thus are better for the firm

112

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 6:31PM

1400/1600 is Deloitte-level type ish.

113

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 6:38PM

I went to my college reunion and ran into a cutie from my class. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I work with retarded adults". I paused....and then answered "me too". She asked me where I worked and I told her in NYC at a bank.

Hitler, who said anything about Hitler?

114

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 6:45PM

Chady Achkar = time up

115

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 6:53PM

Joe Garafoli of KBC trashes Bruno Syrmen of Tellurian. Why?

116

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 7:00PM

French scumbags..

ADI Groupe...

NewAlpha hedge seeding platform...

Tellurian Capital...

Major rip-off if FSA investigation proves manip

117

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 7:04PM

France's Les Echos would never publish that. It would be too revealing.

118

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 8:33PM

Greenspan, unfortunately, makes the French guillotinists look like probation officcers. What a cock sucker..sorry fags. nothing personnal.

N

119

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 9:17PM

Looks like "Lime" is sponsoring the lemons..

120

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 9:46PM

@94 - Is that what passes for humour at the Goldman Sachs Savings & Loan where you claim to work? I need to come in this Saturday and get papers from my safety deposit box so get your ass in early. I'll have no trouble picking you out as you'll be the fucking idiot in the brown suit with the wide lapels. Just remember not to speak unless spoken to.

121

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 10:37PM

103 here,

Want to thank @104-108 for their comments. Would also like to share a story that I came across about a young swimmer who overcame her disability to come in 16th in the 10km open water race in the 2008 Olympics (not the Paralympics)

http://www.nataliedutoit.com/?q=node/3

Her story is all the more incredible and inspiring considering that she is missing one leg but competing with world class athletes with both arms and legs intact in an event where an extra leg logically means extra power.

122

Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 11:40PM

umm MER and GS are hiring? They just cut XXXXXXXXXXXX people

http://www.weeklyta.blogspot.com

123

Posted by guest , Oct 24, 2008 1:24AM

GS is cutting 10% of its workforce. How does that not get any facetime on this website.

124

Posted by guest , Oct 24, 2008 7:18AM

Because that % is close to their normal cuts in a year. 5% to 10%... that's like a rounding error these days...

125

Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 12:15PM

Getting laid in high school and college > 1600 SAT score

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