This is quite to very rich. The firm, which is currently performing a bit of rightsizing, was recruiting at Stern last night. I realize they still need cheap labor to scrape the name off the front door to make room for "Bank of Countrywide," and stuff a bunch of garbage bags with 200,000 unmarked fifties, but many of the bodies aren't even slaughtered yet, let alone warm.
Anyway, got to make the magnificent display of "too soon" work for you, right? So, in the interest of being service-y, we'll try and alert everyone about any upcoming campus visits Merrill is planning on making, so you can show up and perhaps find yourself re-gainfully employed. Or, alternatively, make a scene in front of any prospective new hires. If you're not going to tell them about the c-suite's overly friendly relations with barnyard animals, who will? (And for those who'd like to get a little creative: some sort of PETA protest-esque display wherein you douse the representatives with paint while screaming "murderers!" would probably be cathartic.)
Update: According to someone familiar with the proceedings, the whole thing was just for show. The faux recruiting session was just to maintain relations with the school, and no one will *actually* be getting jobs from Merrill. Everyone feel better now? Anyone? Peter Kraus?
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 4:39PM
long ramen noodles, short NY dept of labor
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 4:41PM
ha, don't see anymore jr. bankers posting about models and bottles now.
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 4:41PM
Downtown advantage, baby.
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 4:42PM
woo hoo go steve jobs...tell them where to stick it....
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 4:43PM
Dog and pony show. BofA is not recruiting why would MER.
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 4:43PM
I agree with #1.
Also short RUTH and MRT, although they are pretty beaten up already.
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 4:44PM
@2 - more like fatties and natties now.
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 4:46PM
Is it feasible that BoA hires nobody in the I-bank for 2009?
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 4:49PM
What do I-bankers do other than bank?
They wank.
Posted by mktmkr , Oct 21, 2008 4:49PM
I saw them at Stern last night. Seemed like a waste of time but hopefully someone got some free drinks.
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 4:51PM
That is rich. I should add it to my Merrill layoffs timeline post
http://www.wallity.com/profiles/blog/show?id=2372036%3ABlogPost%3A631
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 4:53PM
@10 - if by you "saw them there" you mean you are a current student and attended the futile job grubbing session, you really ought to change you handle from "mktmkr" to "brgrflppr"
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 4:54PM
BofA is hiring for 2009. Our group just gave 2 offers.
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 4:55PM
at 13, so they're hiring tellers?
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 4:56PM
@12
No. Try "schljntr"
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 4:56PM
Bank of America is hiring 4 positions in New York this year for investment banking.
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 4:58PM
This is confirmed. Ken Lewis is hiring four (4) fluffers, two (2) car washers, and one (1) Guatemalan/former Bear Stearns day laborer. There are a glut of applications from Wharton.
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 4:59PM
actually those 4 would be relocated to Charlotte.
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 4:59PM
Bank of America is hiring 4 for NY and 4 for Chicago.
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 4:59PM
http://bailoutsleuth.com/
I just saw that Ken Lewis is hiring fluffers as i posted this...concentration is gone...
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 5:02PM
We lost our salesperson yesterday at Merrill despite sending emails to our relationship manager there to intervene on his behalf. And now they go out and recruit? Nothing shocking about Merrill anymore!
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 5:04PM
Bank of America is hiring 4 for NY and 4 for Chicago.
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 5:08PM
21 That just warms my heart that you would be so loyal to your salesperson.
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 5:09PM
@21
Are you an Institution or Individual account?
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 5:12PM
@21
What does a salesperson do other than reading aloud for you?
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 5:16PM
25 Not 21 here, but in the old days (before Bloomberg) a good salesperson would find you good product at good prices. Plus MSG tickets. Now the entire process is a lot more automated and transparent, and the margins don't leave a lot of room for perks. So I would agree with your question. I'm thinking the salesperson was just very pleasant to work with.
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 5:30PM
Yeah, we used to do that all the time too - run the meet & greet recruiting sessions when we had no intention of hiring. The schools/prospectives don't know that - they might think we filled the roster at a different school.
But in lean times like this, the career people really love you for giving the students some (false) hope - and it makes them look good because there are lots of big name firms coming to campus.
That can pay off in a more competitive year when you want a good slot or for the counselors to put in a good word for you.
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 5:30PM
@2 - these are tough times. Without bonuses or jobs, it's just forties and shorties...
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 5:33PM
@21 post pics of your salesperson's rack
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 6:34PM
BofA is "recruiting" for investment banking and sales & trading, but they are not expecting to give any offers for 2009. They've already started to coordinate with ML and see what staffing will look like. Both ML and BofA will continue to downsize until appropriate. This all came from the head of my group.
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 7:13PM
ya all these guys show up at ivey. its a fucking joke.
~M
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 7:17PM
Some of you should think this through...why the hell would BofA hire more FTs when they have to figure out what they want to do with the 2 summer analyst classes of MER and BofA?
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 7:18PM
Some of you should think this through...why the hell would BofA hire more FTs when they have to figure out what they want to do with the 2 summer analyst classes of MER and BofA?
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 8:14PM
@29 validates my business plan for a broker-dealer that uses strippers as sales people.
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 8:15PM
32-33
That's not hard. Can all of them.
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 9:07PM
are summer analysts gonna be brought on in an effort to plan ahead for 2010 or will they just worry about that later?
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 9:21PM
Are Associate bonus numbers out yet?
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 9:39PM
Jobs will be fewer but some firms will keep hiring to avoid paying out the nose in a few years for mid level people.... plus who wants to hire in an associate in two years from a Sh!tty headhunter and pay 3 times the amount. ML and B of A are talking so until they are one the separate marketing continues but come winter they will have it together to hire some kids.... but not many.
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 10:40PM
#38, "Jobs will be fewer but some firms will keep hiring to avoid paying out the nose in a few years for mid level people...."
You crack me up. Seriously, ever thoughy of stand-up?
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 10:52PM
#38,
What the hell are you talking about?
Wall Street over-hires in the good times and over-fires in the bad times.
In 2 years, they wont have to pay 3x sh!t to attract some mid-level employee, because there will always be willing people who dream of "models and bottles" or w/e the hell they used to indoctrinate me with in undergrad.
Associates are a dime a dozen.
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 11:09PM
@38 mgmts at most firms can't even see 2 months ahead let alone 2 years. besides, +75% of associates get blown out by year 3 even when things are normal to make room for the incoming annual class of bottomfeeders
Posted by guest , Oct 21, 2008 11:33PM
Beyond the whole "model and bottle" theory, first years are less attractive than "mid-levels." These are the people clients feel comfortable working with. The reason your firm makes the money it makes is due to reliance and experience. I hate to blow your fucking dream, but newbies are not attractive to potential customers. The bank remains on campus to stay visible and nothing else (at least in times such as this). Sure, they want to remain relevant within the collegiate groups, but the "mid-levels" are not fungible at this point. The bleeding begins at the bottom because there's zero client-contact. Compensation is limited in this environment, but the managing committee would be a gang of fools to release the client-contact list before a runny-nose 2nd-year analyst.
Now, before applying to starbucks, please provide due diligence regarding the difference between English and Meso tea leaves.
Posted by guest , Oct 22, 2008 12:06AM
Who's going to a MER hiring rally when they just announced thousands of job cuts LOL. Seems like a waste of time for you b-(s)cool people
http://www.weeklyta.blogspot.com
Posted by guest , Oct 22, 2008 8:23AM
MER is firing over 10,000 , maybe 20,000 by year end. BofA is promoting Tellers to do S&T. Looking at their Net P&L, it probably would have been cheaper to do this and the Tellers enjoy the bigger chairs.
Posted by guest , Oct 22, 2008 8:30AM
OMG! I was retrenched from LEH 2 months ago from my equity research analyst position and now I'm having a tough time finding a similar position. I tried applying for backoffice equity settlements positions but I was rejected due to my lack of experience in back office. WTF! I'm now worse than a back office dude?
Need. To. Die.
Posted by mktmkr , Oct 22, 2008 8:30AM
@12 Actually I'm a fully employed part-time Stern student who just happened to be on the same floor as the Merrill presentation so maybe you should change your name to "suckit"
Posted by guest , Oct 22, 2008 8:43AM
Go short on Hellmann's and long on Mayo Basic store private brand.
Posted by guest , Oct 22, 2008 9:12AM
@46 - so if you are indeed a "mktmkr" with a steady job, why are you going to stern? maybe you are in the BO and because supervisor just doesn't recognize your brilliant potential. In anycase you must not be doing that well. No one goes to b-school from the desk just to come back - part time or otherwise - unless they are a hack trying to paper over the BS in their resume.
-@12
Posted by guest , Oct 22, 2008 9:17AM
...a fully employed part timer..?? thats really funny, like a pay toilet in the diarrhea ward...or a screen door on a submarine...or a kid from Stern who thinks a major firm, losing billions, cares what he thinks.
Posted by mktmkr , Oct 22, 2008 10:07AM
@ 48/49
Lets see.
Has job: check
Subsidized MBA: check
Still making bonuses: check
Why wouldn't I go to school? Not everyone wants to work for a big bank or be a market maker forever. As far as the back office? Please, I don't even speak to those mutants.
Posted by guest , Oct 22, 2008 10:08AM
I really hate to see all this internecine bickering; remember, the real enemy is the guy who wants your head just because he feels confused and has no idea what's happening.
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2008 11:56AM
BofA definitely underhired by about 2/3rds for their summer analyst class. They have room to hire more and take on Merrill's analyst class.