Apparently Lemming Lazard is canceling its holiday party this year, though the employees don't know yet. I don't think I'm alone here in saying god damn you, people. You're supposed to be doing better than everyone else (relatively speaking of course, let's not get ahead of ourselves). And what's more, now that the artists formerly known as investment banks have become hideous pedestrian bank banks, you are supposed to be picking up the slack and spending excessively no matter how "inappropriate" it might seem given the state of things. For all intents and purposes you are the new Goldman and would the old Goldman pull a stunt like this? Clearly I have to spell it out for you but the answer is no, they most certainly would not. Not only would they throw a party but they'd burn the place down and shout "we'll buy you another one" over their shoulders to the owners as they stumbled out of the place. Jesus. You know, we were considering gifting you with a prime brokerage and prop desk for the holidays but if you can't get the freaking holiday party right, how can we expect you front run clients?
Okay. Now that I've regained my composure what I'm thinking here is that there perhaps 'stein is planning on sending a follow-up letter to his Jewish employees once the news hits the tape that says "don't worry, we're just getting rid of the Christmas party. On the down low, 8-day Hannukah Bacchanal is proceeding at a pace. Keep it kosher, Bruce." We'd have no problem with this.
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 1:20PM
too Hebrew, can't read
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 1:20PM
Fucking amazing BL, just awesome
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 1:21PM
how very chosen of you.
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 1:31PM
yawn
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 1:32PM
Bess - a DB party to fill the void could be very lucrative no?
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 1:32PM
Slow news day
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 1:32PM
get a life, @4
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 1:33PM
Here in PE no cancellations yet though I wish we would...
Posted by Bess Levin , Oct 31, 2008 1:36PM
@6- we don't make the news, just report it. why don't you get out there and make something happen, Champ? Finger bang your colleague under the desk? Let us know!
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 1:37PM
Havent been watching...has CG made an appearance yet?
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 1:38PM
#10 i just came.
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 1:39PM
haha @6 - go home and cry
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 1:39PM
Speaking of finger banging.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzWYftCVr7Y&feature=related
SPODE
Posted by ShortOil , Oct 31, 2008 1:41PM
@10, CG had a great spot about 30 minutes ago...i'm paraphrasing here but:
CG: "Here's what I shoulda said. Here's what I got, I got scungilli, I got eggplant parmesan. I got the best eggplant in the city."
and then he started talking about being at San Pietro...
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 1:44PM
I saw Charlie last night and all he kept saying was " I want more Mayo"
Posted by diablo , Oct 31, 2008 1:48PM
Hint, whoever is not getting government money should be able to throw a party in December. Otherwise, there's nothing for DB to crash this year. I bet Muffie is ready to crash some parties and report back.
Posted by FUNdamental , Oct 31, 2008 1:53PM
has any consideration been given to a giant Jewish conspiracy which has crippled the economy in an attempt to destroy Christmas, egg nog and PRESENTS to return the chosen people to the top of the religious celebration heap?
If only the grinch had the capital the chosen ones have....there would have been no roast beast, only the empty feeling of government cheese.
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 1:54PM
The only thing you dbags will be crashing this year is your yogurt trucks in your mom's basements while she yells "what's going on down there?"
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 1:58PM
@18 your homoerotic writing makes me uncomfortable
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 2:00PM
if i were to "finger bang" my colleague, wouldn't she actually be getting "finger-banged?"
either way, i'm on it!
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 2:03PM
@20- yes, but since the question was "[did you] finger bang a colleague under the desk" the way it was written is accurate.
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 2:03PM
Actually, fingerbanging has been in the news recently:
http://www.geekologie.com/2008/10/tuttuki_bako_aka_the_fingerban.php
On a related front, I think the term "Hannukah Bacchanal" is somewhat inappropriate, given that the holiday specifically memorializes the defeat of the Greeks by the Yids. "Hannukah Schtupp-Fest" is probably more suitable.
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 2:04PM
Bess, you never cease to amaze me (RE: post #9). Keep up the good work.
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 2:07PM
Thanks for the clarification Bess @21.
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 2:08PM
Actually, fingerbanging has been in the news recently:
http://www.geekologie.com/2008/10/tuttuki_bako_aka_the_fingerban.php
On a related front, I think the term "Hannukah Bacchanal" is somewhat inappropriate, given that the holiday specifically memorializes the defeat of the Greeks by the Yids. "Hannukah Schtupp-Fest" is probably more suitable.
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 2:17PM
bess - #9, pleeeease come and work for me. Lucrative short term contract, German bank, no exposure to VW...
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 3:04PM
I put a call in to Bruce to ask about the fact that he stole Christmas but he and Mordechai were enjoying Shabbat together
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 3:24PM
Something must be done. *Cue Jack Bauer
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 3:28PM
Something must be done. *Cue Jack Bauer
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 5:45PM
Too long, didn't read.
Posted by guest , Nov 03, 2008 6:10AM
@30. Too long? Playschool books still causing you trouble?