AIG has canceled a retreat it had planned for salespeople for next week at the Ritz-Carlton Resort in Half Moon Bay, California, probably because some Representative from Maryland made them justify thousands of dollars worth of manicures, pedicures and facials. This is a major crock of shit.
As stated by Eric Dinallo, vacays like the ones taken the week after the $85 billion bailout are not "crazy corporate decisions," but rather rationally thought out and much needed pick me ups for employees down in the dumps. And we shouldn't have to defend them to you, Harry Waxman Witch Hunt, or anyone else. Now, more than ever, troubled, or sort of troubled or quasi troubled companies should be ramping up the retreats, or, at the very least, the spa treatments. Think about all the pussies you know working in finance. They need to be coddled and told "you can get through this," and "hey, I know what would make you feel better, how 'bout a pedicure, it's not gay." The collapse of Lehman, some say, triggered some other troubles. Dollars to donuts, if Dick Fuld and the Fuldettes had received some well-timed pampering, including but certainly not limited to Swedish massages, pore cleansing facials, and--in the case of executives lying about how things were really going at 745--colonics, we would not be where we are today.
Update Just got this maybe BS e-mail, from an AIG address:
Earlier today, AIG announced an important policy change - one that we wanted to be sure you knew about.
A short time ago, our Chairman and CEO Ed Liddy said that he has ordered the immediate cancellation of all outside meetings, conferences, and recognition events across AIG, except those that are required by law or that are deemed absolutely critical to sustain our ongoing business needs.
Given AIG's commitment to our customers, business partners, regulators, and American taxpayers, coupled with the new and very different challenges our company now faces, we take these responsibilities extremely seriously. Their trust is critical to our success. We recognize the need to be sensitive about all company expenditures.
As we move forward, we will continue our focus our efforts to pay back the $85 billion loan from the Federal Reserve Bank of New York as quickly as possible.
We appreciate your blog's efforts to share this information with your readers.
Posted by guest , Oct 09, 2008 2:59PM
HA!!!!!!
Posted by guest , Oct 09, 2008 3:02PM
I don't subscribe to the term "vacay" substituting for "vacation".
Posted by guest , Oct 09, 2008 3:05PM
Bess a big fan of facials? I see.
Posted by guest , Oct 09, 2008 3:07PM
DOW 9000! Woohoo!
Posted by guest , Oct 09, 2008 3:07PM
@2 STFU you vernacular bitch
Posted by guest , Oct 09, 2008 3:11PM
Bess,
You got into facials? This is the news headline of the day. But the dirthole stuff is still on your tongue :)
Posted by guest , Oct 09, 2008 3:13PM
We all got a facial from Steve Cox.
SPODE
Posted by prgy , Oct 09, 2008 3:13PM
Whats wrong? I dont get it.
Posted by guest , Oct 09, 2008 3:14PM
I gave a facial to a MILF this summer while her husband was in London on AIG business - I should call her for a repeat, I love Fairfield County!
Posted by guest , Oct 09, 2008 3:16PM
half moon bay is A great place for a weekend escape with a high class hooker.
Posted by guest , Oct 09, 2008 3:20PM
vacay is beyond vernacular. it's flat out gay. Any male caught saying vacay should be kicked in the nads.
Posted by guest , Oct 09, 2008 3:22PM
@11-- exactly. it's flat out gay like men getting facials and manicures and pedicures. learn to detect sarcasm.
Posted by guest , Oct 09, 2008 3:40PM
Ed Liddy is AIG's Chief Facial Officer.
Posted by guest , Oct 09, 2008 3:55PM
no wonder i am not productive
a facial a day keeps the stress away.
Posted by guest , Oct 09, 2008 3:57PM
Facials are a classic, but they imply the gal is "on-board" with the idea.
Far more brave, and hilarious, would be taking it up a notch, giving the young lass a "spiderman", an "angry pirate" or going yet one farther for an "abe lincoln".
Never stop reaching for the stars, my friends.
-BeckyBootFan
Posted by guest , Oct 09, 2008 3:59PM
Fake.
Posted by guest , Oct 09, 2008 3:59PM
Don't forget giving her a "painter's radio".
Posted by guest , Oct 09, 2008 4:05PM
I'm calling a bottom now
-Jim Cramer
Posted by Tapecracker , Oct 09, 2008 4:15PM
@15
Never underestimate the power of a rusty trombone.
Posted by guest , Oct 09, 2008 4:20PM
In defense of spa vacations, while the markets are melting down. You have got to be fucking kidding me.
Posted by guest , Oct 09, 2008 6:05PM
I have a different kind of facial for AIG
Should have crammed them down with Flowers money
Posted by guest , Oct 09, 2008 6:07PM
@20- turn your sarcasm detector on, moron.
Posted by guest , Oct 09, 2008 7:57PM
Angry pirate is my favorite.
When a woman is giving a man head, he pulls out, and nuts in her eye. Upon doing this, she will let out some sort of grunt of disapproval, and at this point he kicks her in the shin. This poor girl, being pissed and hurt, will hobble after your laughing ass.
The Guy From Dellawhere
Posted by guest , Oct 15, 2008 2:07PM
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=awjjQgr082Eo
New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo demanded that American International Group Inc.'s board stop ``unwarranted and outrageous expenditures'' and recover any past ones that were ``unreasonable.''
In a letter to the company today, Cuomo cited a $5 million bonus and a $15 million ``golden parachute'' that AIG awarded its chief executive officer in March. Martin Sullivan was AIG's CEO at the time. Cuomo said the company also paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for ``luxurious retreats'' for executives, including an overseas hunting party and a golf outing.
Cuomo claimed in the letter that such expenditures violated the state's debtor-creditor law and demanded an accounting of AIG's executive compensation and benefits.
``As you of course know, the taxpayers of this country are now supporting AIG through rescue financing, which makes such expenditures even more irresponsible and damaging,'' Cuomo said in the letter.
The U.S. government offered AIG an $85 billion loan last month as a way for the company to avoid bankruptcy. The company may access an additional $37.8 billion from the Federal Reserve Bank of New York to replenish liquidity.
Cuomo's letter ``will be brought to the immediate attention''' of AIG directors, said Nicholas Ashooh, a spokesman for the New York-based insurer.
`Regrettable'
``The events referred to should have been canceled, it's regrettable they weren't, but we've issued a policy canceling all such events and reviewing all expenses going forward,'' Ashooh said in a phone interview. He declined to comment on Sullivan's compensation.
Posted by guest , Oct 15, 2008 8:31PM
BUKKAKE!