We have a soft-spot for Kirk Kerkorian. He flies. He owns casinos. He was married once for a month. He names his firms after his kids. He was alive during the Roosevelt administration. (The first one). So we looked the other way when he invested in General Motors. Well, until one of our friends pestered us with the fact until the denial finally melted away. But we explained that away with a wave of the hand a quick “Well, he obviously knows something about their pensions that the rest of us don’t. After all, we don’t have access to the books, you know,” and a good, stiff martini.
Then there was the Ford thing. We know, we know. We called in sick from home for two days straight. And now? What are we supposed to do? He’s lost like ten billion dollars for fuck’s sake. On automotives. I mean, what the hell? It’s a culture shock scene out of Austin Powers or something. Like no one told him Prince Charles was divorced. Or that automotive stocks are three deep breaths away from cardiac arrest.
Look, people. My friend Linda’s parents had her grandfather, who was quite wealthy himself considering their respective backgrounds, committed because he was spending $10,000 a month on lottery tickets. That was to “preserve the estate from irreparable harm.” He wasn’t even 70, that guy. And he wasn’t nuts. At least, I didn’t think so. He just liked playing the lottery. He liked those scratch tickets, had his favorite game that he preferred, studied the odds. He even won quite a bit of his money it back. No one ever heard from him again. Ever. There was the hearing. And then he was gone. Poof.
He’s probably somewhere in a “facility” with a two-word name that is supposed to say “calm safe place to drop off grandpa to die rest,” but actually hints strongly at the immediate presence of the grim reaper. You know what I mean. “Shady Grove” or “Whispering Cove,” or something.
Maybe he’s sitting in an old wheelchair that doesn’t even roll anymore (where the hell is he going to go anyhow?) with a cheap, brown blanket draped over his legs. What’s with that blanket anyhow? The “lap blanket.” It is always so obviously cheap. Some leftover from its third estate sale. And the “facility staff” puts it on him rain or shine. I mean, if you are trying to keep the guy alive, I’m not sure why he gets the lap blanket in August. Or maybe I have the equation backwards there.
So Linda’s parents disappear grandpa into the miasma that is the “elder care” industry (with lots of overlapping ownership and redundancy elimination owing to consolidation with the “death” industry) like he’s Junior Soprano for spending $25,000 over several months. Then they take possession of his high-seven-figure estate and drop most of it into what can only be called a real-estate “compound” at the height of the bubble. Now its worth a bit more than zero.
See, I’m thinking Linda’s parents and Kerkorian, much as I love him, should be sitting in a broken wheelchair at “Shady Grove,” with a blanket draped over them in the middle of summer.
Ok, I take it back. I’m just mad because K2 never calls me anymore.
Kerkorian Cuts Ford Stake, May Exit as $1 Billion Bet Collapses [Bloomberg]
Comments (26)
Leave a comment
You can log in with your account or comment as a guest below.
that fucker gave me a great out on some ford stock i was long at 8.50 and then got spooked on because he was buying. didn’t take the opportunity. you ol’ fucker retire and stop confusing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that fucker gave me a great out on some ford stock i was long at 8.50 and then got spooked on because he was buying. didn’t take the opportunity. you ol’ fucker retire and stop confusing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You commit grandpa so you can raid his estate before he dies. If he’s rich and under 70 you’re talking at least 15-20 years before you get his cash. Your friend could have bumped him off like they did in the Gallo, Coors, Bhutanese royal family and Menendez brother cases….sorry, what does this have to do with the markets?
Yea, I kinda know about not going with the herd but Kirk and autos always seemed quirky. And the auto parts guys, what’s with them. So old cars have to be repaired sometime. It’s going to be a long fucking wait.
Look, GM and F are a play on universal health care. If they get that, they can unload all of that retiree health benefits and they have a snowball’s chance. Sans universal health care they are broke.
Now personally I wouldn’t bet 12 yards on the US health care policy, and I certainly wouldn’t do it via the auto sector.
I don’t know. I can’t explain the bet. Seemed crazy at the time and it seems crazier now. Maybe when he started collecting the Medicare he decided they’d roll it out to everyone? Or maybe they gave him those generic drugs and they’re making him loopy.
automotives…cars for the layperson
“He was alive during the Roosevelt administration. (The first one). ”
Teddy!? Wow – he’s even fuckin’ older than Hank (the Spank) Greenberg!!!!
Kirk Kerkorian was certainly not alive during the first Roosevelt administration (1901 – 1909).
@ 8
EP must mean R32′s first term 1932-1936… either that or she’s a fucktard
“Posted by guest, Oct 21, 2008 11:51AM
Kirk Kerkorian was certainly not alive during the first Roosevelt administration (1901 – 1909).”
Sarcasm detector: Adjusted.
Buffett is an old guy too. One is a gazillionaire, the other not so much.
Are you suggesting that all the progeny of the very wealthy, but old, should hide them away and steal their fortunes. Which in the case of the Buffet kids wouldn’t be a bad idea since they aren’t getting much for dad.
too long
@12, you have to commit or kill your rich old relatives before they disinherit you or marry their nurse and leave her all the money (aka the Johnson & Johnson story).
this post actually scared me… whither my inheritance…? ;)
Seriously, if the old guy wants to piss away his entire fortune on lottery tickets then that is his prerogative. They are wrong to do what they did, morally wrong.
@ 8 are you kidding me. Kerkorian used to babysit Teddy Roosevelt.
kerkorian=dizzy ol’ bird. cuckoo
Beam me up, Scotty.
Hey EP – Kirk was born during Wilson’s administration. Nice try for humor though. Close but, off by 9 years.
“Posted by Riskybusiness, Oct 21, 2008 12:51PM
Hey EP – Kirk was born during Wilson’s administration. Nice try for humor though. Close but, off by 9 years.”
Second customer in here for sarcasm adjustment. Odd.
5,
If they are a play on universal health care, I’m leveraged short them into the ground.
We’re bleeding over a trillion bucks a year at this point. No health care coming anytime soon.
@5 universal health care? That could be passed tomorrow, and it wouldn’t buck the stocks a bit. Still have to pay pensions and make cars that people want to buy.
This is fitting. Kerkorian earned the nickname Dr. Death for his earlier career in the assisted suicide of sick elderly patients.
@24 – funniest stupid post of the day
When K2 bought his stake in GM, they wrote a huge article about his dealings with Ace Greenberg and Bear Stearns handling his order. Junior banker advising KK how to get the order done. Ace putting junior banker down, “You don’t tell Babe Ruth how to swing his bat.” Great story at the time. Ironic? now?