Most people are aware of the fact that Eddie Lampert’s investment in Sears Holdings probably wasn’t his best idea to date, and I would include the hooker community in that group of people. In the hierarchy of who is the first through the last to know your fund is taking a bath cause you thought the crock pot business was booming, call girls come just after your most trusted advisors and light years before your investors.
Outrageously, the Post has been laboring under the impression that the ladies of the night have had no idea what’s been a’ poppin and, more to the point, a’ droppin over at Lampert’s ESL Investments. This would explain why the paper broke it down in terms the girls can understand today: by the hour. According to the Post, Big E has seen his nine largest holdings fall an average of $30 million an hour in just over 26 trading days,* with the “the biggest hit– by far– coming from the steep drop in Sears Holdings, which fell from $103 in mid-September to $47.67 on Friday, a drop of 53.7 percent that translated into a paper loss of $3.6 billion for Lampert’s 65.3 million shares.”
*1 day = 6.5 hours

Comments (17)

  1. Posted by guest | October 27, 2008 at 1:20 PM

    ty bess for another great read.

  2. Posted by guest | October 27, 2008 at 1:22 PM

    Will my Craftsman tools still work?

  3. Posted by guest | October 27, 2008 at 1:28 PM

    I’m a Sears CEO. What’s a Roebuck?

  4. Posted by guest | October 27, 2008 at 1:29 PM

    caviar — ….. bucks for a roe

  5. Posted by guest | October 27, 2008 at 1:33 PM

    Does this mean no more Ty Pennington?

  6. Posted by guest | October 27, 2008 at 1:44 PM

    How many “johns” = $30mm an hour?
    If Craftsman’s made in China, Sears will have to drop their lifetime guarantee or go bankrupt. I’ve had a least a dozen Chinese products (some not very cheap) all crap out in the last 6 months and none are still in warranty.
    We need to add crappy Chinese products to our list of things the U.S. needs to become less dependent on.

  7. Posted by guest | October 27, 2008 at 1:50 PM

    “I’m a …, what’s a …” is so much lamer than mayo or sham wow guy. All is forgiven. Please come back!

  8. Posted by guest | October 27, 2008 at 2:03 PM

    @6: 90% of the manufactured goods you encounter/own in any given day are probably manufactured in China. Nice straw man argument, idiot.

  9. Posted by guest | October 27, 2008 at 2:15 PM

    ESL Investments? Does that stand for English as a Second Language? No wonder they can’t make any money, those filthy Mexican’s can’t read the stinkin’ financial reports!

  10. Posted by guest | October 27, 2008 at 2:21 PM

    The Post article assumes that ESL’s positions were static between June and September – October. Since Eddie seems to be a smart lad, and probably has loads of friends in high places to warn him that things might be turning ugly, that’s a dubious assumption to say the least.

  11. Posted by guest | October 27, 2008 at 2:41 PM

    Nice, 8 grand/second. I don’t know if Bear went down that fast.

  12. Posted by guest | October 27, 2008 at 3:01 PM

    I like the “I’m a _____. What’s a _____” guy. Would be nice to have mayo and shamwow back. “Too ____, didn’t ____” guy has been killing it lately.
    SPODE

  13. Posted by guest | October 27, 2008 at 3:19 PM

    I’m pretty sure Eddie only spent $600mn to gain control of K-Mart which he then merge into SEARS net net he’s still way ahead even if Sears goes BK. He’s probably buying up all the debt right about …. now…. or if he’s smart he’ll just write credit protection on his own bonds then have the bonds put too him and collect the basis in the interim.

  14. Posted by Suits | October 27, 2008 at 3:30 PM

    What’s killing it are my long SPODE puts.

  15. Posted by Anal_yst | October 27, 2008 at 7:43 PM

    @10
    Ya’ didn’t exactly need friends in high places to know sh!t was going to hit the fan.
    Unfortunately, hope – the strategy employed by the vast majority of accounts – isn’t a very viable basis for successful investing over any sufficiently long period.

  16. Posted by guest | October 27, 2008 at 7:55 PM

    So…how much ESL have under management now? $100?
    http://www.weeklyta.blogspot.com

  17. Posted by Finnegan | October 27, 2008 at 11:03 PM

    Unless he can pull some sort of financial shenanigans, the Sears investment was not a good move. Almost like trying to buy Chrysler and turn it around. Who would do that? Oh wait… nevermind.

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