The narrow ring of exclusivity draws smaller and smaller. Yes, there was our story earlier in the month about Goldman Sachs being an "iffy" enough trading partner to get a first tier scolding at the Pratts window, and now, apparently, UBS isn't a decent enough counterparty to avoid a potential counterparty credit downgrade from S&P.
Even after an orgy of Swiss bank backstopping, the news would seem to suggest that the old Swiss slogan "Any port in a storm, Switzerland in a hurricane" needs replacing. (I never understood that phrase. Switzerland is landlocked and not subject to hurricanes. But I digress). Whatever the case, it's clear Switzerland is going to need a new slogan. As usual, your suggestions are solicited. We came up with a few new ones to get your creative juices flowing. (Just clean the table off when you are done please, there's Lysol in the kitchen).
1. Switzerland: Safer for Jews than Austria.
2. Switzerland: Come for the vaults, stay for the chocolate!
The best suggestion in comments gets an all expense paid trip for eight days and three nights to Zurich.*
UBS Counterparty Credit Ratings May Be Cut, S&P Says [Bloomberg]
*Yeah, but not really.
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 12:45PM
Don't forget the motto of former Enron oil traders at a night club: "Go ugly, early."
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 12:46PM
Switzerland: Please Don't Invade Us, We'll Do Anything
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 12:47PM
Are you being fair? I mean it was only 66B plus francs. And about 14B marched right across the street to Credit Suisse, so really it isn't that bad.
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 12:50PM
#1, that might be the best thing ive ever read on this site
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 12:54PM
# 4 you fart sucking fluffer douche. that isn't even funny tool.
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 12:56PM
#4 that one was old when my dad was in college
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 12:56PM
Q: How do you make a Swiss person laugh?
A: Put a gun to his head and say, "laugh."
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 12:57PM
@4 not to mention that the fact an Enron trader said it really adds nothing the "witicism"....I hope you die
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 12:57PM
I know it's technically relating to Germany, but who really gives a shit anyways:
"DAS BOOT!" - Herr Referee (Beerfest)
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 12:58PM
i don't get it
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 12:58PM
Credit Suisse > Caisse Epargne > AIDS > UBS
Posted by Riskybusiness , Oct 17, 2008 1:01PM
Switzerland: Where every soldier carries a corkscrew.
Posted by prgy , Oct 17, 2008 1:01PM
@ 4 save your comments for you blow up doll boyfriend.
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 1:01PM
i dont get it
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 1:01PM
bess when are you going to address this GS crude oil thingy??
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 1:02PM
bess when are you going to address this GS crude oil thingy??
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 1:02PM
Ricola!!!!!!!
Posted by american bandersnatch , Oct 17, 2008 1:05PM
Switzerland: Being painfully dull is our best asset.
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 1:09PM
Geneva: The City That Always Sleeps
Posted by bittergreen , Oct 17, 2008 1:09PM
Swisslandia: We'll still let you stash gold fillings in our safe-deposit boxes.
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 1:10PM
Switzerland: We'll lose the money we promised to hide.
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 1:12PM
My fave Europe joke:
What is the European definition of Heaven and Hell?
In Heaven:
The British are the police
The French are the chefs
The Germans build the cars
The Swiss run everything and
The Italians are the lovers.
In Hell:
The British are the chefs
The French build the cars
The Germans are the police
The Italians run everything and.....
The Swiss are the lovers.
Posted by american bandersnatch , Oct 17, 2008 1:13PM
Switzerland: You'll always be just a number to us.
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 1:16PM
Switzerland: Returns so bad you wish you had reported to the IRS for the tax loss.
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 1:21PM
EP, just a heads up, it's the "Platts" window
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 1:26PM
nice 24
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 1:32PM
yeah, i know, he told me that Enron joke when he came out to confirm the trade. at least he's good for something
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 1:45PM
UBS - your hedge against capital gains
Posted by PhilSeltzer , Oct 17, 2008 1:47PM
Switzerland: Who are we to judge, Herr Fuehrer?
Switzerland: Way more discreet that Jeff Epstein's tranny.
Posted by StillNoCouch , Oct 17, 2008 1:51PM
Credit Suisse, table for one. Credit Suisse ?
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 1:58PM
Presumably the recommendation is that storms you can ride out; hurricanes you want to get the heck out of the area.
Posted by michange , Oct 17, 2008 2:12PM
The darker the money, the Swisser the juice.
Posted by american bandersnatch , Oct 17, 2008 2:18PM
Switzerland: Looking to the Gross Canton for leadership since 1871.
Posted by andrewb , Oct 17, 2008 2:18PM
Switzerland: the poor man's Liechtenstein
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 2:25PM
[Derice drums over his teamates' helmets]
Sanka: Hey! Heeeeyyy! What you doin!?
Derice: This is what the Swiss do to psyche themselves up!
Sanka: They also make them little pocket knives, too, but I don't see you doin that!
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 2:34PM
Switzerland: Kiss my swatch biatch.
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 3:11PM
Any word on layoffs at UBS that were announced last week?
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 6:45PM
When you are an old man
you don't bank with Goldman
then you wonder who else there is
The Swiss.
When you don't wanna pay taxes
escape from the tax man's axes
you wonder why there is
The Swiss.
When you are from Texas
wanna to biz with PRK?
But our Government sent you away
you wonder why there is
The Swiss.
When BKR needs mullah
and deals with chock-of-full-a
contracts with the Mullahs
you wonder why there is
The Swiss
When Phil Graham needs a job
'cause some say in Congress he was a flop
you wonder why there is
The Swiss
When mansions in the Hamptons are not enough
and paying taxes galore feels kinda rough
you wonder why there is
The Swiss
When potentates take home their loot from countries, one hates to say
could be the USA
By gosh there is the Swiss!
When Tina Turner bellows out:
Rivers deep Mountain high
and lives in Zug
Swiss have not taxes
that is good!
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 9:35PM
Switzerland: Because I slept with my wife's sister and I have nowhere else to hide....
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 9:58PM
Are any French FoFs supporting crap funds in order to keep friends employed? Watch this space..
Posted by guest , Oct 17, 2008 11:08PM
Somewhere, Mark Rich is laughing
Posted by guest , Oct 20, 2008 5:06PM
Watch men with big horns blow, while we suck you dry.