• 17 Oct 2008 at 12:40 PM

Not So Special Anymore

By

The narrow ring of exclusivity draws smaller and smaller. Yes, there was our story earlier in the month about Goldman Sachs being an “iffy” enough trading partner to get a first tier scolding at the Pratts window, and now, apparently, UBS isn’t a decent enough counterparty to avoid a potential counterparty credit downgrade from S&P.
Even after an orgy of Swiss bank backstopping, the news would seem to suggest that the old Swiss slogan “Any port in a storm, Switzerland in a hurricane” needs replacing. (I never understood that phrase. Switzerland is landlocked and not subject to hurricanes. But I digress). Whatever the case, it’s clear Switzerland is going to need a new slogan. As usual, your suggestions are solicited. We came up with a few new ones to get your creative juices flowing. (Just clean the table off when you are done please, there’s Lysol in the kitchen).
1. Switzerland: Safer for Jews than Austria.
2. Switzerland: Come for the vaults, stay for the chocolate!
The best suggestion in comments gets an all expense paid trip for eight days and three nights to Zurich.*
UBS Counterparty Credit Ratings May Be Cut, S&P Says [Bloomberg]
*Yeah, but not really.

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Comments (65)

Older Comments
  1. 1
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 12:45 PM

    Don’t forget the motto of former Enron oil traders at a night club: “Go ugly, early.”

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 12:46 PM

    Switzerland: Please Don’t Invade Us, We’ll Do Anything

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 12:47 PM

    Are you being fair? I mean it was only 66B plus francs. And about 14B marched right across the street to Credit Suisse, so really it isn’t that bad.

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 12:50 PM

    #1, that might be the best thing ive ever read on this site

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 12:54 PM

    # 4 you fart sucking fluffer douche. that isn’t even funny tool.

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 12:56 PM

    #4 that one was old when my dad was in college

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 12:56 PM

    Q: How do you make a Swiss person laugh?
    A: Put a gun to his head and say, “laugh.”

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 12:57 PM

    @4 not to mention that the fact an Enron trader said it really adds nothing the “witicism”….I hope you die

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 12:57 PM

    I know it’s technically relating to Germany, but who really gives a shit anyways:
    “DAS BOOT!” – Herr Referee (Beerfest)

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 12:58 PM

    i don’t get it

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 12:58 PM

    Credit Suisse > Caisse Epargne > AIDS > UBS

  12. 12
    Posted by Riskybusiness | October 17, 2008 at 1:01 PM

    Switzerland: Where every soldier carries a corkscrew.

  13. 13
    Posted by prgy | October 17, 2008 at 1:01 PM

    @ 4 save your comments for you blow up doll boyfriend.

  14. 14
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 1:01 PM

    i dont get it

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 1:01 PM

    bess when are you going to address this GS crude oil thingy??

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 1:02 PM

    bess when are you going to address this GS crude oil thingy??

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 1:02 PM

    Ricola!!!!!!!

  18. 18
    Posted by american bandersnatch | October 17, 2008 at 1:05 PM

    Switzerland: Being painfully dull is our best asset.

  19. 19
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 1:09 PM

    Geneva: The City That Always Sleeps

  20. 20
    Posted by bittergreen | October 17, 2008 at 1:09 PM

    Swisslandia: We’ll still let you stash gold fillings in our safe-deposit boxes.

  21. 21
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 1:10 PM

    Switzerland: We’ll lose the money we promised to hide.

  22. 22
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 1:12 PM

    My fave Europe joke:
    What is the European definition of Heaven and Hell?
    In Heaven:
    The British are the police
    The French are the chefs
    The Germans build the cars
    The Swiss run everything and
    The Italians are the lovers.
    In Hell:
    The British are the chefs
    The French build the cars
    The Germans are the police
    The Italians run everything and…..
    The Swiss are the lovers.

  23. 23
    Posted by american bandersnatch | October 17, 2008 at 1:13 PM

    Switzerland: You’ll always be just a number to us.

  24. 24
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 1:16 PM

    Switzerland: Returns so bad you wish you had reported to the IRS for the tax loss.

  25. 25
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 1:21 PM

    EP, just a heads up, it’s the “Platts” window

  26. 26
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 1:26 PM

    nice 24

  27. 27
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 1:32 PM

    yeah, i know, he told me that Enron joke when he came out to confirm the trade. at least he’s good for something

  28. 28
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 1:45 PM

    UBS – your hedge against capital gains

  29. 29
    Posted by PhilSeltzer | October 17, 2008 at 1:47 PM

    Switzerland: Who are we to judge, Herr Fuehrer?
    Switzerland: Way more discreet that Jeff Epstein’s tranny.

  30. 30
    Posted by StillNoCouch | October 17, 2008 at 1:51 PM

    Credit Suisse, table for one. Credit Suisse ?

  31. 31
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 1:58 PM

    Presumably the recommendation is that storms you can ride out; hurricanes you want to get the heck out of the area.

  32. 32
    Posted by michange | October 17, 2008 at 2:12 PM

    The darker the money, the Swisser the juice.

  33. 33
    Posted by american bandersnatch | October 17, 2008 at 2:18 PM

    Switzerland: Looking to the Gross Canton for leadership since 1871.

  34. 34
    Posted by andrewb | October 17, 2008 at 2:18 PM

    Switzerland: the poor man’s Liechtenstein

  35. 35
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 2:25 PM

    [Derice drums over his teamates' helmets]
    Sanka: Hey! Heeeeyyy! What you doin!?
    Derice: This is what the Swiss do to psyche themselves up!
    Sanka: They also make them little pocket knives, too, but I don’t see you doin that!

  36. 36
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 2:34 PM

    Switzerland: Kiss my swatch biatch.

  37. 37
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 3:11 PM

    Any word on layoffs at UBS that were announced last week?

  38. 38
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 6:45 PM

    When you are an old man
    you don’t bank with Goldman
    then you wonder who else there is
    The Swiss.
    When you don’t wanna pay taxes
    escape from the tax man’s axes
    you wonder why there is
    The Swiss.
    When you are from Texas
    wanna to biz with PRK?
    But our Government sent you away
    you wonder why there is
    The Swiss.
    When BKR needs mullah
    and deals with chock-of-full-a
    contracts with the Mullahs
    you wonder why there is
    The Swiss
    When Phil Graham needs a job
    ’cause some say in Congress he was a flop
    you wonder why there is
    The Swiss
    When mansions in the Hamptons are not enough
    and paying taxes galore feels kinda rough
    you wonder why there is
    The Swiss
    When potentates take home their loot from countries, one hates to say
    could be the USA
    By gosh there is the Swiss!
    When Tina Turner bellows out:
    Rivers deep Mountain high
    and lives in Zug
    Swiss have not taxes
    that is good!

  39. 39
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 9:35 PM

    Switzerland: Because I slept with my wife’s sister and I have nowhere else to hide….

  40. 40
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 9:58 PM

    Are any French FoFs supporting crap funds in order to keep friends employed? Watch this space..

  41. 41
    Posted by guest | October 17, 2008 at 11:08 PM

    Somewhere, Mark Rich is laughing

  42. 42
    Posted by guest | October 20, 2008 at 5:06 PM

    Watch men with big horns blow, while we suck you dry.

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