• 13 Oct 2008 at 1:27 PM

Opiate Tolerance

By Equity Private

Overheard today in the offices of a large Chicago hedge fund:

The market, a newlywed that swore off the high life and hard drugs some months ago, committing to be “a responsible adult” prior to tying the knot, just snorted 40 milligrams of Oxycontin off of the bathroom sink and is now teetering around a Tijuana bar, volumeless, convinced the world is an amazingly friendly place filled with warm, pink fluid in which to float languidly up to the ceiling. The withdrawals are going to suck, but the upcoming rape and robbery won’t feel like anything until much later.

Comments (30)

  1. 1
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 1:33 PM

    First bitches

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 1:39 PM

    ….I don’t get the warm pink fluid.

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 1:39 PM

    Oh now she’s gone
    Realize I lost the best thing there is
    And my pride keeps telling me
    Let your loss be your lesson
    Heaven knows I miss her lovin’
    Heaven knows how much I cry
    Just to think she had left me
    And I know the reason why
    I could tell she had been cryin’
    It didn’t seem to bother me
    Cause I know there’s no one blinder
    Than a fool who just couldn’t see

  4. 4
    Posted by ep | October 13, 2008 at 1:40 PM

    “….I don’t get the warm pink fluid.”
    You opiate virgin, you.

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 1:45 PM

    mary thompsen discussing this on CNBC now, but you were the first.

  6. 6
    Posted by girl | October 13, 2008 at 1:47 PM

    this whole analogy is creepy as fuck

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 1:48 PM

    It sounds like the person who said this is speaking from first-person experience.

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 1:52 PM

    KEN for sure.

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 1:56 PM

    ken would def never say anything like that, though clearly it’s citadel.

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 1:56 PM

    brilliant

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 1:57 PM

    It is creepy.
    What am I missing? What is the “warm pink fluid”?

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 1:58 PM

    @11
    The womb?

  13. 13
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 2:11 PM

    Is Robertson saying on CNBC that 80 to 85% of Americans are broke? Technically bankrupt?

  14. 14
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 2:12 PM

    The only warm ink fluid I know is Pepto Bismol and I know it all too well.

  15. 15
    Posted by merkin capital partners | October 13, 2008 at 2:27 PM

    @13… most Americans are broke. If you owe more/spend more than you have, you are broke. (we’ll exclude the house…unless you’re in florida)

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 2:29 PM

    But #15, how did that happen without at least someone somewhere saying something? Where is that town crier when you need him?

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 2:47 PM

    one time I had blood in my urine, it was a warm pink fluid.
    Could that be what she meant??

  18. 18
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 2:50 PM

    17 Reminds me of the time when I had a great dinner that included a roasted beet and goat cheese salad. Then got up in the middle of the night, peed pink and got really frightened. Till I remembered the beets.

  19. 19
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 2:52 PM

    my guess: the warm pink fluid is fed liquidity

  20. 20
    Posted by diablo | October 13, 2008 at 2:53 PM

    By John Lauerman and Rachel Layne
    Oct. 13 (Bloomberg) — Microsoft Corp. co-founder Bill Gates said the U.S. economy is headed for a “fairly significant recession,” and that the unemployment rate may peak at more than 9 percent.
    –
    OK, looks like Gates should redirect his foundation money to domestic causes, like soup kitchens, health care and the like.

  21. 21
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 2:54 PM

    my guess: the warm pink fluid is fed liquidity

  22. 22
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 2:57 PM

    I seriously doubt it, @7.
    I am the manager of a hedge fund. What is an opiate?

  23. 23
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 3:05 PM

    18,
    Is that a true story? I hate beets but I’d eat the hell out of them if they’d make me pee pink.

  24. 24
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 3:24 PM

    23 Totally true. Not sure if it works with the canned ones – where everything is cooked out of em – but the tasty ones in a salad with goat cheese def turn urine pink.

  25. 25
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 3:27 PM

    Makes me think of JG Ballard for some reason.

  26. 26
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 3:39 PM

    40 mg of OC is for pussies, be a man and blow the whole 80
    WOOOOOOO YEAA BABY

  27. 27
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 4:49 PM

    If you want to pee green on St. Patty’s day then you need to eat way too many brussel sprouts.

  28. 28
    Posted by guest | October 13, 2008 at 5:13 PM

    @27, I want to pee green every day.

  29. 29
    Posted by mrpink | October 13, 2008 at 5:45 PM

    i was hoping my escapade on saturday wouldn’t get out to the masses. Damn!
    Still floating around the Tijuana bar…
    -mrp

  30. 30
    Posted by Cincinnatus C | October 13, 2008 at 7:34 PM

    I don’t get the warm pink fluid thing either.
    it could’ve been balyasni…or however you say/spell his name..

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