We have it on very good authority that on Wednesday in Stamford, Steve Cohen told his trading floor, "You're all idiots. We're going to cash. I'll see you in January." They are not closing down; just sitting out the bull shit. No follow-up joke. Because it's apparently true.
Comments
4
Posted by guest, Oct 10, 2008 6:18PM
TGFD beat Cohen to All Cash by one day. I did it Tuesday, and word of my move must have reached Lardass, because he followed my lead the next day.
The Guy from Delaware
5
Posted by guest, Oct 10, 2008 6:18PM
from what i understand it wasn't so eloquent, but along those lines for sure.
6
Posted by guest, Oct 10, 2008 6:28PM
TGFD: you got beat by several million retirees who cashed out of their IRAs before Tuesday.
7
Posted by guest, Oct 10, 2008 6:43PM
@#6...
Yeah, I know, but beating LardAss at something makes me feel as though I made the right move for once.
The Guy from Delaware
9
Posted by StupidEquityGuy, Oct 10, 2008 6:50PM
One Global Plan ... hummmm
10
Posted by mrpink, Oct 10, 2008 6:52PM
where was the fight (in ny)?
yes, mr. pink is still alive/employed. Sane? No (nor was I ever, truly)
watching baldilocks on tv now.
Still need to eat my mcmuffins!
-mrp
11
Posted by guest, Oct 10, 2008 6:52PM
I know #9, the guys on prophecies.us are saying "we're right, we're right, we got it, we got it"
The rest of us are saying "What?"
13
Posted by guest, Oct 10, 2008 6:54PM
Why is it that they never have a wireless microphone for the questioner?
Why do we never hear the question?
14
Posted by mrpink, Oct 10, 2008 6:55PM
SEG-
How are you making out in all this mess? I have been looking at Jansen's blog almost every evening when I get home.
shoot me an email sometime...
-mrp
16
Posted by guest, Oct 10, 2008 6:56PM
Am I the only one uncomfortable with the communistic word "communique"?
18
Posted by StupidEquityGuy, Oct 10, 2008 7:01PM
Mr P, we are still standing... we are green double digits YTD... am green MTD... we are at historic levels of cash for my family of funds... I wish I just had real capital, instead of being the piker I am... however, with our record, I am guessing we end up raising our AUM in the coming years...
Hammering Hank is making everyone want to go long guns, gold, ammo and booze...
Mr P, I don't have your email... here is mine... hedgingrisk @ aim.com
Peace,
~SEG
19
Posted by guest, Oct 10, 2008 7:07PM
If SAC has a bad year does that mean the traders will be stuck wearing the '08 women's clothing lines in '09? Time to go long Vagisil?
20
Posted by guest, Oct 10, 2008 7:08PM
@19- you're a dumb ass...it's not just about having a bad year, it's about not being able to make money in this market.
21
Posted by guest, Oct 10, 2008 7:10PM
I listen very carefully when people talk, almost everyone in the last two days has said "they keep changing the rules".
22
Posted by mrpink, Oct 10, 2008 7:16PM
@19:
Can't afford vagisil, better just do the ol spit n pray...
-mrp
24
Posted by guest, Oct 10, 2008 7:36PM
@20 - 19 here. Suck my dick for not being able to understand simple sarcasm. You couldn't make money in any market, fuckstick!
26
Posted by guest, Oct 10, 2008 7:59PM
Bess - enjoy your weekend and please block the upzero asshole.
27
Posted by ShortOil, Oct 10, 2008 8:02PM
How is it hard to make money? Just keep buying SPY and USO puts...had one of my greatest days ever today...
28
Posted by guest, Oct 10, 2008 8:12PM
Up 35% on EEV this week...boom.
Up 32% on SMN this week...sold both at open this morning and tucked in cozy comfy to cash. Homey.
Oh and during that stupid short ban bought SKF at around hundo....sold today on a big down swing...
Fuck that shit you can't time a market....you sure as shit can when it wallops down 30% in a week.
-- Commander Bear
30
Posted by guest, Oct 11, 2008 12:12AM
@ 27 & 28. sounds like you guys have it all figured out.
also, please go to upzero.com
31
Posted by guest, Oct 11, 2008 12:23AM
SPX Oct vol is now over 100. So in one year we are at 0 or 1800. Really? VIX is 75. Seems pretty high and a decent opportunity, no? In 87 vol went to 165 or so but came right back down under 40 on Wednesday Oct 21. This is sustained.
MS and GS get nationalized. All deposits get guaranteed. G7 agree to inflate in sync. Markets drop 15% then slowly come back to unchd (back to -40% YTD, that is).
Unfortunately NYC is big BIG loser as no one gets paid (in the Wall St sense), but maybe MAYBE we avoid a great depression. Happy? No, no one is happy. Pres Obama is in for tough times. Pray we don't go to war.
32
Posted by Goldman Sachs Neophyte, Oct 11, 2008 12:26AM
Oh shit, if this is true I think this is a big deal. I think Steven Cohen is an amazing HF manager. Anyone heard how Edward Lampert is doing this year? I would imagine he is not doing well. Though, I do think Lampert is the top HF manager.
33
Posted by Goldman Sachs Neophyte, Oct 11, 2008 12:37AM
I agree with 27, I am following that strategy as well. People that are long this shitty market, please stop whining. Don't you guys know to buy put options on markets when they are collapsing? For people whose retirement accounts just got beaten into the ground, let me play you the world's smallest violen. Also 31, could you please stop essentially fear mongering with your second and third paragraphs. Goldman Sachs IS finance and screw Morgan Stanley.
- that guy from Goldman Sachs
34
Posted by guest, Oct 11, 2008 12:51AM
@33. Most people do not have the ability to buy put options in their retirement plans. Not that you would care I suppose..
35
Posted by guest, Oct 11, 2008 12:56AM
@ GS newbie--
Been around much, have you? Your opinions are formed from speaking with people who know? Broad based index vol is high- fact. MS is close to going under-- fact. GS will be next-- fact (down how much today? 18%?)
Fair? Absolutely not. MS is doing well from an operating standpoint-- ask anyone who knows. I imagine GS is also. Finance in a macro sense is definitely not GS. They are good, no doubt. But even GS surrendered to to the seductions of 'going public'. And they now are about to pay. Do I want MS and GS to go under? Absolutely not. But they won't either. They are way too important to the economy (even if 'main st' doesn't recognize it yet). Hank does. And the people that matter know this. But the only way to salvage the banks (throw in DB, UBS, RBS, Barkleys and the others), is either take them private (no chance in this environment), or nationalize them temporarily. Stop the run. Loosen credit, and, unfortunately, inflate in sync.
Return to a 4-7 to 1 levering and spit out the govt portion in a couple of years.
It's not pretty but it has to happen. How else to end this?
Ideas?
36
Posted by guest, Oct 11, 2008 1:47AM
From pig to a hog
Cut was too deep, artery
Nationalize Doc
SPODE
37
Posted by guest, Oct 11, 2008 2:02AM
SPODE--
My point exactly. So we nationalize. Good news; some of you will keep your jobs. Pay will be capped at the President's salary (no Babe Ruth references that you had a better year, please) . And then relatively distributed from there. Who stays? What do we get?
Who possibly runs what we (American taxpayers) just bought. Mr. PMD, who made 22M in 2007, now you can look forward to the same job at 275K. I hope you kept earnings in cash. Because equity gets wiped out. At least in the finacials.
Worst case. And I hope it won't happen: but hope is not much of a strategy.
38
Posted by WindsorNot, Oct 11, 2008 2:31AM
@35/37
Why would they need to nationalize either MS or GS if they are "fine" from an operational standpoint, as you say? As far as I've read both are fine as going concerns until mid/late 2009, assuming (big assumption, I know) credit markets ease up again. The market is *not* operating on fundamentals at the moment. Google and Research in Motion, for example (and don't flame me about the specifics-- this is a rhetorical point) are trading at or below enterprise value; if I may quote Amy & Seth: "Really?!?" ROE of 21 and 40% respectively. REALLY?!? Sign me up.
So what if Morgan is trading in single digits or Goldman is down to an 8 handle if they have enough capital to withstand the storm? Clients pull out? Some, yes. Prime Brokerage loses hedgies? For sure, but they're fickle and losing money at a prodigious rate anyhow. If anything, the margin calls Morgan and Goldman are squeezing these guys with only better shore up their balance sheets and reduce leverage. Will it be a rough go? Obviously. Nationalize them? I don't see it.
39
Posted by guest, Oct 11, 2008 5:59AM
Ah no, #38. Margin calls aren't exactly a good thing... they took down AIG and quickened Lehman's demise.
40
Posted by guest, Oct 11, 2008 9:20AM
bald pate
shining in the morning
light
rays of golden
sun
burst o'er the waters
only to be
caught up
in the blackness of
the beard
BURMASHAVE
41
Posted by guest, Oct 11, 2008 10:23AM
Guest@#40...
Is that piece something you wrote, or is it something you heard on rap-music radio?
Whatever else it might be, it is definitely boring.
You post too much of that shit on DB. Are you a wigger?
The Guy from Delaware
42
Posted by guest, Oct 11, 2008 11:22AM
Guest@#40
yeah, it's more annoying than spam-links.
you deserve a nice morning, bitch slap on the face. go out to the park and go blow some street bum.....you douche.
43
Posted by guest, Oct 11, 2008 1:16PM
I agree with 41 whoever "guest" is posts way too much. Look at all the guest posts each day, each thread. Its almost like there are multiple people using the same guest log on.
The Guy from Dellawhere
44
Posted by guest, Oct 11, 2008 1:23PM
I agrea with 43. And heres is another rather purplexing relationship. Why would 43 attack his own post of 41 after taking the time to write such a beautifull poem? This guest fellow is all over the place. Sometimes he like palin and others obama and he jerks off with icy hot and turns around and contradicks himelf.
45
Posted by guest, Oct 11, 2008 1:25PM
Guy from Delaware
Rubs his swollen clitoris
Now he is in cash
SPODE
46
Posted by Goldman Sachs Neophyte, Oct 11, 2008 2:18PM
@45, guest you suck. STFU.
47
Posted by Goldman Sachs Neophyte, Oct 11, 2008 2:31PM
@34 you are right, I don't care. If someone does not know how to properly navigate markets (a.k.a.: most people), then screw you when you lose money. Also, I know you can't buy put options for retirement accounts. I should have clarified more that I was talking about put options (for a non-retirement account) AND retirement accounts. Also, I hate when I hear middle class people bitch about losing money on their investments. Filthy, disgusting... proletariats.
- that guy from Goldman Sachs
48
Posted by guest, Oct 11, 2008 3:05PM
Also, I know you can't buy put options for retirement accounts. I should have clarified more that I was talking about put options (for a non-retirement account) AND retirement accounts.
- that guy from Goldman Sachs
You don't know much. You have to be approved to trade options. What lawsuit wanting firm is going to allow every panicking fool to come in their office and be approved to trade options? That would be prudent.
I see no way that could backfire.
49
Posted by guest, Oct 11, 2008 4:09PM
Volatility is a moment in time...if your not too big in any one name and have a well balanced long/short portfolio you can make money in this market...if you make a long bet in this market and get it wrong...then you go to cash..guess who did that recently?
50
Posted by guest, Oct 11, 2008 4:19PM
Gay from Delaware
Tounging his bitch-boy
Gay from GS
Let's call them Abe and Larry?
115 pounds each, if soaking wet
Gaywads from Jersey
Peeing their jammies at the thought
Of meeting GUEST
Alone
51
Posted by guest, Oct 11, 2008 4:56PM
Goldman Guy - please table your contingent worker wisdom and go back to putting our trades out on ACT in jersey city. Oh you are bearish? Very quick on the uptake I see...
53
Posted by WindsorNot, Oct 12, 2008 2:55AM
@39. Margin calls **on** the hedge funds, not on Morgan or Goldman. Read a little more carefully before self-indulgently hitting "post comment".
54
Posted by WindsorNot, Oct 12, 2008 3:02AM
@50. I wish I had the authority to ban your IP address. You're wasting everyone's time. Grow up.
56
Posted by guest, Oct 12, 2008 12:03PM
@49
Must be the only people making money in this market are options traders...
A good day for our band of 20 traders (SPX market makers) is + $500k - $1mm net position/day trading PNL
Friday? +$17,000,000
BRING ON THE PANIC
57
Posted by guest, Oct 12, 2008 12:35PM
@56
The SPX bid-ask spread is ridiculously wide. Hell yeah you can make lots of money.
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Posted by guest, Oct 10, 2008 6:12PM
Presumably the idiots to which he's referring are bottom-fishers?