Waxman, having waxed poetic and having sharpened his disemboweling cutlasses, calls a three minute recess, and then calls for His Fuldness.
Stay tuned. Fuld after the jump.
Boy, it's kind of hot in here. Don't you think?
Hey, is that Tom Chadam over there?
We like to have our witnesses swear here. How about that Dick?
Sure, uh, now?
I take full responsibility for the decisions that I made, and the actions that I took. With the benefit of hindsight, I would have done things differently. I am am a Lehman lifer. I never sold the vast majority of my Lehman Brother's stock. Contrary to what you may have read. I never turned down an offer to sell Lehman Brothers. Naked Short Sellers and market manipulators caused the rating agencies to downgrade us. It is too late for Lehman Brothers. If I can help this committee at all, I welcome the opportunity.
We'd asked you for your compensation details. You've taken home $480 million dollars since the year 2000. You and your wife own some paintings. You know, worth like a million dollars. What the hell, man? Is that fair?
Uh... uh... well... I'm going to talk as slowly... as... I... uh... can... and... hope... everyone... gets... tired... uh... yes... but... those numbers... look right.
Now c'mon, is that fair? Huh? And with you all levered up like that, what the hell were you thinking?
Well, there's leverage, and then there is NET leverage. Bet your staff didn't tell you about that, did they? Hah!
Ok, what would you suggest we do, genius, eh?
We need to set up a master netting system. Where all trades and transaction, positions, are all downloaded nightly. The regulator would have a complete view of the financial landscape.
Can you hear me now? Hey, in case you didn't notice, you're supposed to be the villain today. Ok, since we have that out of the way. Tell me, how much did you give to political interests? Looks like you gave too much to Hillary.
What, between you and the PAC, a few hundred thousand or something? Would it surprise you to know that Fannie and Freddie spent $170 million or so?
That's probably a matter for your committee. *sly smirk*
Mr. Fold, we've been reading your email here for weeks and it seems clear that the mood of Lehman employees was really shitty.
With all these foul moods, why in the world would you institute a stock buyback plan?
You have no clue what you are talking about, you don't understand dilution, you shouldn't be permitted to handle sharp instruments alone.
Hey, didn't the mortgage originators steal this money?
How the hell do I know? I don't read each of the loan documents.
Were you betrated by Paulson? Did he throw you to the wolves? Did he stick it to you? C'mon, we want to see you guys turning on one another. What about this collateral call?
Ok, so you don't understand the difference between collateral and leverage. Duh. Plus, I'm not going to talk about that. The creditors and JP Morgan are about to get into it over this.
Hi. I'm Diane Watson. I'm going to teach you about disclosure requirements for public companies. How's that sound. How about you tell me how bad the regulation was. I mean, you are so boring to attack. It's like pushing on a rope with you. Give me someone I can sink my teeth into.
Yes, Congresswoman.
Mr. Fold, can you tell us who that person is behind you?
Hmmmmm.
Hey, so I know the FBI is considering an investigation. I guess it is just an inquiry at this point though. Want to tell me anything incriminating about your discussions with investors or anyone else?
Nah, not really.
Hey, jackass. You paid $20 million out to the center of gravity at your firm for mortgage sludge. Why shouldn't we use hindsight to clawback funds that were paid?
Actually, we have a long-term compensation system. I took a huge bath by extending vesting on options and restricted stock, even for my own options and stock, to ten years. That's gone. No severance, no golden parachute, no contract for Dick Fuld. I believed in this company, banking, and Truth, Justice and the American Way. *Oh beautiful, for spacious skies... for amber waves of grain....*
Did they screw me over? "Until the day they put me in the ground... I will wonder."
Wow. The Grim Reaper Fuld.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:39PM
hhhhheeeeeeerrrrrreeeesssss dick!
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:40PM
for a stress eater he still looks fit... and he is still full of piss and vinegar
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:41PM
He needs to reup on the Botox.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:41PM
Get ready for a whole new lever of "hindsight" where you are headed.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:41PM
Get some!!!! Fuldy is about to be eaten like a rich girl on prom night.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:42PM
"I want to respond to your questions."
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:43PM
In closing ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaKkuJVy2YA
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:44PM
Did I hear him gulp when he said 10 million shares?
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:45PM
"Sergeant-at-Arms, please bring Mr. Fuld some lube now before I begin my questioning."
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:45PM
You can't help but feel bad for the guy.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:46PM
Unitl he blamed his demise on naked short sellers.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:47PM
STOP SAYING NAKED!!!
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:48PM
Without objection, the Chair will proceed to tear Mr. Fuld a new one ...
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:49PM
What a worthless hearing. Let's just trot out Fuld's earnings instead of talking about the crisis.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:50PM
odds of Fuld flipping out and tearing through the chamber like Rambo through the podunk jail are currenly even money
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:50PM
Ugh I think I took home a shitload of money, I'm not sure.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:51PM
Fulds earnings are out now. Lets see him squirm his way around this -- "Is this fair?"
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:53PM
"Pardom me, Mr. Chairman. I was momentarily mesmerized by your pig snout."
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:54PM
do you think he has a block of cheese next to him to snack on?
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:56PM
Fuld's mind seems to be very blank when answering questions, or in a moment of Zen. He's probably taken a lot of SSRIs, a couple shots of Jameson, and got a quick blowjob before testifying.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:56PM
Over/Under on how many Congressmen/Senators understand the basics of stock options?
10.5?
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:57PM
Maloney: I think you were a client of mine when I worked at the Kiev Spa down on 44th Street
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:57PM
Who gives a shit, who gives a fuck. These hearings will not do anything to help the meltdown. Only beneficiaries are the dimwitted congresspeople who can now tell their constituents that they scolded those rich fat-cat whippersnappers up in Wall Street.
Big fucking deal. And now back to watching the Dow head to 8,000...
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:57PM
"Mr. Fuld, give me your fucking money. I am serious. Give me your fucking money right now."
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:58PM
Is this the lady from the movie "Best in Show"?
Posted by Henry Ryecroft , Oct 06, 2008 12:58PM
Ask him about the Koreans! Ask! Ask!
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 12:58PM
#21. Was just thinking the same thing. They don't understand it at all.
Posted by FUNdamental , Oct 06, 2008 1:00PM
this is ri-god damn-diculous. It's a a witch hunt to take a pound of flesh and nothing more. Yes when the company does well people at the top should make a gazillion dollars if profits support that. I'm sorry if if joe six pack doesn't like that too fucking bad.
When things go to shit said CEOs should be held accountable and not bailed out, and if such profits were begotten through fraud then they should be stripped of all related assets and those shall be liquidated for the compensation of the debtholders. And then said CEO should be anally probed by kimbo slice.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:00PM
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,433303,00.html
Over at Disney's California Adventure, Disneyland's sister theme park, an entirely different celebration was occurring during the Sweet 16 event: the 11th annual Gay Days Anaheim, an unofficial gathering of gays and lesbians at the Disneyland Resort. Event producer Jeffrey Epstein said Cyrus' affair didn't conflict with Gay Days Anaheim.
"We're happy to share our big weekend with Miley," said Epstein. "While it may be a small world after all, we think it's big enough for both groups to have a blast."
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:01PM
$100 says we see him at the NYC Eagle tonight lookin' for a sugardaddy and a friend to help him palpate his prostate.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:01PM
She looks like Mrs. Wildenstein. Google it.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:02PM
kimbo got worked this weekend!
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:02PM
#29, were the other guest proselytizing?
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:02PM
my question is...who wouldn't sit through this for $500M? I mean really? we can moralize all day long, and he'll probably get some BS fine or whatever, but $500M. I think the ugly truth is that many people reading this 'could' see this happening to them...
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:02PM
"I would love to give you advice. My fee is one bazillion dollars."
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:03PM
@ 21
I think likely 4-5 tops.
In the last threee weeks, it has become patently obvious that our elected representatives have almost a complete lack of basic financial knowledge.
It has also become obvious that populist politics trumps real knowledge about a particular issue.
Frankly at this point i am begining to believe that Sarah Palin may be overqualified.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:04PM
Posted without comment.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twPlPpqi3pc
- The Great Santini
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:07PM
When you know your subject and the truth is the truth the information easily comes pouring out. So why are there so many paused to think?
Posted by Henry Ryecroft , Oct 06, 2008 1:07PM
Mr. Fuld, when given the choice between $6.40 a share and sweet fuck all, why did you choose the latter?
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:09PM
Mama said knock fuld out
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:10PM
Who is this woman on CNBC now?
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:10PM
This is appalling. The arrogance is palpable.
Posted by Henry Ryecroft , Oct 06, 2008 1:10PM
"You're the villain today".
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:10PM
punched in the face! anybody know who hit him?
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:10PM
that grin almost killed him he looked like the Grinch
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:11PM
These questions are too nice. "Aren't you a total moron for being so exposed to all this?!"
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:11PM
vikki something
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:11PM
The only thing more scary about the lack of financial knowledge of our elected representatives is when a hollywood entertainer comes out with their endorsement and thoughts on the presidential election/bailout plan. Most of these people never went to college and probably have no understand of supply and demand.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:11PM
one of the gasbags on CNBC (British chick) said there's truth to the Fuld-punched-in-face-in-gym rumor...?
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:11PM
To every Lehman shareholder that guy is a true american hero.
Posted by merkin capital partners , Oct 06, 2008 1:11PM
I don't care if he was shorting the bank for the last year, no one with any ounce of business acumen should have to answer to these literal retards in congress. My favorite was Lee Raymond who would just stare at them like "you have no right to speak to me or be in this room".
And who is the british bitch? Look like someone slapped her with an oar.
Posted by RL , Oct 06, 2008 1:12PM
Fuld got punched in the face on a treadmill at lehman's gym?
Posted by Henry Ryecroft , Oct 06, 2008 1:13PM
Mr Fuld, can show me on the doll where the bad man touched you?
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:13PM
Dick Fuld could eat these clowns for breakfast.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:14PM
Can Mica, Florida natch, be anymore partisan? Waxman is supposed to be a d-bag since he is the chairman (i.e. db with the gavel) but I think Mica wins dbod [b-bag of the day] awards for this hearing.
Posted by AJ , Oct 06, 2008 1:14PM
I feel like he's doing fairly well. I feel sorry for anyone having to deal with this.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:14PM
"Why didn't you off yourself?" "Why?"
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:14PM
Elijah: Mr. Fuld, do you accept Jesus as your personal savior?!!
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:15PM
$100 says we see him at the NYC Eagle tonight lookin' for a sugardaddy and a friend to help him palpate his prostate.
Posted by MostOffensive , Oct 06, 2008 1:15PM
doesn't matter if fuld tells cummings about balance sheets-- cummings doesn't know what leverage is
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:15PM
short sellers didnt fail LB he did by taking levegaing the shit out himself, im sure his traders short failing companies as well
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:15PM
I heard he got punched in a spinning class when he was screaming 'you go girl!'
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:16PM
Yeah his left cheek looks tender, like he got suckerpunched recently.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:17PM
Matt Nesto is a fool. He is complaining that they discussed the guys what 5 multi million dollar homes. Being a "lifer at Lehman" guess this is all from his rewards. It's only going to get "regular people" more incensed.
But what is really going to get regular investors upset is the fact that these guys made money no matter what. Today people are watching their wealth evaporate cause they don't know how to hedge. Yet, this guy, is really not telling the truth cause if he was he would be selling his homes and trying to save something. He probably made a mint.
Posted by Henry Ryecroft , Oct 06, 2008 1:17PM
These questions are pathetic, as are the people who are asking them. Good lord. Mr. Fuld, do prefer the term "cat bag" or "punani"?
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:18PM
kimbo got worked this weekend!
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:18PM
Neel KashKari ---> America will kneal before that muslim fuck as he Karries away all your kash.
Allu Akhbar.
Posted by Investorcluzo , Oct 06, 2008 1:18PM
damn, I can't believe I'm missing this! I think it's a rite of passage for all ceo's who banked millions while their companies went south...however, the politicos should be ashamed of themselves for wasting good taxpayer money for this public flogging. this isn’t going to unfreeze the credit markets.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:19PM
"Mr. Fuld, did you see this weekend's Marmaduke? That dog is so lazy; he cracks me up. I yield the balance of my time."
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:19PM
is Fulds brain on a 30 second delay
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:21PM
http://www.cafepress.com/bullmarkets
Dow 10,000 hats...I just bought 3 of these.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:21PM
I heard he got punched in a spinning class when he was screaming 'you go girl!'
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:21PM
short sellers didnt fail LB he did by taking levegaing the shit out himself, im sure his traders short failing companies as well
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:21PM
#36 - post of the day.
"Frankly at this point i am begining to believe that Sarah Palin may be overqualified."
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:22PM
@67
Kaskari is Indian, you dumb shit.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:23PM
He sounds like the host of Unsolved Mysteries.
Posted by Anal_yst , Oct 06, 2008 1:23PM
@ 63
Or he was just pumping himself up in the locker room pre-fight (er hearing)
Posted by Henry Ryecroft , Oct 06, 2008 1:23PM
WTF with the lengthy pauses? Is Fuld playing Capt. Kirk?
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:25PM
Lehman was the greatest run firm EVER! I wish we could put Fuld in charge of the whole bailout. Would that be received poorly?
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:26PM
Did you fuck us over?
I REMIND YOU, sir, you are under oath.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:27PM
I had a chihuahua named Kucinich once
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:28PM
Percentage likelihood of getting a "Yes" answer to the question, "Did you mislead your investors?"
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:28PM
It's the House. All debates and questions are timed.
To screw over the House members, he is pausing a LOT between sentences so that way the members get cut off by Ben Waxman when their time runs out.
Seems Ben has wised up on that, because he hasn't cut off any members so far.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:28PM
I can't believe these idiots are wasting time on this exercise. They need to focus on important issues, like grilling Roger Clemens.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:29PM
"Do you fucking hate that bald asswipe as much as I do? Please use the word "doucheweed" in your answer."
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:29PM
Wow, The battle to destroy the competition was intense. Poor Lehman lost. If the others are in similar shape how come they are alive?
Posted by Henry Ryecroft , Oct 06, 2008 1:29PM
Mr. Fuld, did Hank sink your battleship?
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:31PM
Tell Michelle Carusso-Cabrera to shut up! Just a kiss ass with no value added. Is there anyone else in media today that makes it so obvious that she wants to endear a certain segment out there. Just terrible. Stop your generic ("I was at the Opera and spoke to Dick") bullshit talk and go back to Univision!
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:31PM
"When a mommy loves a daddy, Mr. Kucinich, he puts a baby in her tummmy."
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:32PM
#88. She brings the term "idiot" new meaning.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:34PM
4-1-1 to Fuld: not a good idea to gobble Ambien caplets before testimony.
Posted by Henry Ryecroft , Oct 06, 2008 1:34PM
"At the end of 2007, I did not believe it was necessary to suck Korean penis".
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:35PM
Got to hand the round so far to Kucinich; did you screw your investors or were you bent over by Treasury [Goldman]?
Bonus points since Kucinich has a very attractive wife (that for some reason I imagine Ms. Levin will look like as gracefully ages)
http://blog.washingtonpost.com/achenblog/kucinich%20and%20wife.jpg
-C
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:38PM
#88 - i agree...i am sick of her too - she's a retard.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:38PM
I wonder how high a tall man could lift up Waxman off the ground by the "two-fingers in the nose" method.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:39PM
Who's calling the market bottom?
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:39PM
"power lunch" = "dumb lunch"
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:41PM
"We went to them with an idea of something we call, "hiding our shitpile," to which they reacted coolly.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:42PM
"We went to them with an idea of something we call, "hiding our shitpile," to which they reacted coolly.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:43PM
"We went to them with an idea of something we call, "hiding our shitpile," to which they reacted coolly.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:44PM
Cabrera is a fine example of "knowing nothing" and thinking that you know everything and your opinion is the only one that counts. When CNBC downsizes they should begin with her and restore power lunch to the two people who deserve to be there which means kneale needs to go too.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:50PM
Cabrera - she's has to be the worst person on CNBC...
Posted by MostOffensive , Oct 06, 2008 1:52PM
lay-man ship afloat... lay-man ship afloat... whatever floats your boat
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:54PM
Power Lunch is a fucking joke. I haven't seen 8 people that untalented in one place since the Houston Astros came to town.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 1:59PM
"SpinCo" sounds like a tasty investment. ShitCo.
Posted by guest , Oct 06, 2008 2:49PM
FULD FOR PRESIDENT
Posted by guest , Oct 08, 2008 9:35AM
@21, definitely under. And none of them were in this hearing. They were watching from their broker's monitor over at Goldman.