So, okay. The "Closing Bell" team of Dylan Ratigan and Melissa Lee just cut to Charlie Gasparino who supposedly was going to give us some information on "turmoil" at Merrill Lynch. Those of you watching, though, know that didn't happen. We don't have a clip-- someone, anyone, for the love of No Sleeves and his BoFlex, send it to us now-- but paraphrasing, I shit you not, it went like this:
Ratigan: Charlie, what have you got?
Gasparino: What have I got? That's almost Zen-like.
Ratigan: Yeah...so give us the story.
Gasparino: What have I got? What have I got? What have I got?
Lee: Charlie, just tell us!
Gasparino: What have I got?
Ratigan: Charlie, we've got limited time.
Gasparino: What have I got? What I got is shoot for the capitalism.
Ratigan: 'Shoot for the capitalism'? What?
Gasparino: What have I got?
Ratigan: Okay, not really sure what just happened there.
The most bizarre thing is that while it wouldn't surprise us to see Gaspar get into a tiff with one of his colleagues, he didn't sound angry or like he was juicing, just really stoned the whole time. I'm not saying he was, and in fact, I have no idea what I'm saying. That's how strange the whole thing was. One really crazy theory is that maybe Charlie realized he didn't really have anything new to say about Merrill? But that's completely unlike him. He always has new angles on stories from well-placed sources. Seriously, I have no idea. We're going to try and get in touch with CG now. In the meantime, let us know if you have any idea WTF just happened.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 3:44PM
oh god. i knew he would crack one day. somebody post the link!!!
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 3:45PM
Either drunk or distracted because an intern was blowing him under the desk. Or both.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 3:46PM
well ? what did he got?
Posted by HighYield , Oct 30, 2008 3:46PM
What have you got, Charlie? No credibility and even less penile girth. Go ahead, ask me again...
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 3:47PM
Almost as bizarre as that Fast Money ep 2 weeks ago where the first 5 minutes was dedicated to flatulence..
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 3:48PM
Guess who is going to rehab !
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 3:49PM
He was probably going to regergitate some rumor and at the last minute the producer received a call from legal telling him to pull it leaving gas bag speechless!
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 3:50PM
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?
Posted by msbbk110 , Oct 30, 2008 3:51PM
that clip was classic...gasparino look like he was about to do a Tyson on Ratigan...Hold on...Fight behind CNBC studio at 4pm...be there or be square
Posted by msbbk110 , Oct 30, 2008 3:52PM
that clip was classic...gasparino look like he was about to do a Tyson on Ratigan...Hold on...Fight behind CNBC studio at 4pm...be there or be square
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 3:53PM
@7 That is very possible but if you had half a brain you could wing it with an inside joke or something less stoopid.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 3:55PM
Didn't know his mike was on, and he was singing "What Have I Got" by the Blind Boys of Alabama.
Posted by msbbk110 , Oct 30, 2008 3:55PM
that clip was classic...gasparino look like he was about to do a Tyson on Ratigan...Hold on...Fight behind CNBC studio at 4pm...be there or be square
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 3:55PM
@ 11
We are talking about Gas Bag...do you relly think he has even 1/2 a brain or ever had an original thought???
He's an ex-retail broker...put a script infront of him and he can speak take it away and he is lost.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 3:55PM
Ratigan needs to do some work on how to question or introduce someone on television. Gasparino was right on point.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 3:56PM
This was amazing. My wife immediately asked "Is he drunk."
I'm a fan of CG's reporting and thought that "maybe" CG was just joking with Dylan.
In retrospect this looks like a "meds" situation.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 3:57PM
THEY TRIED TO MAKE HIM GO TO REHAB AND HE SAID NO! NO! NO!....LOL!
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 3:58PM
I think he just got the results of his chlamydia test
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 3:58PM
that was really awkward
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:01PM
#12 what is this number that you post?
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:01PM
Maybe Dylan Ratigan can be his sponsor at rehab, I hear Dylan had a few stints there himself.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:02PM
they probably asked him to stop mentioning the blog that called him a wingnut and he finally lost it
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:02PM
@18-LSHSSFN (laughed so hard soda shot from nose)
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:03PM
Dammit. Who typed a question mark on the Teleprompter? You know CG will read anything!
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:06PM
@18 LSHSSFN (laughed so hard soda shot from nose)
Posted by MarshallStack , Oct 30, 2008 4:06PM
Damn it - we'll do it LIVE!
WE"LL DO IT LIVE!!!!!!!
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:06PM
Dammit. Who typed a question mark on the Teleprompter? You know CG will read anything!
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:06PM
Maybe Gasparino's nick name should be changed from Gas Bag to Winehouse (as in Amy Winehouse as he appears to be going down the same slippery slope.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:07PM
Charlie on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFUphoSXU7A
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:08PM
@27- it's "fuck it, we'll do it live"
get it right.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:08PM
@28 - haha! "I'm Charlie Gasparino??"
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:08PM
Gadzooks!
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:09PM
A fight...a fight...a cokehead (Ratigan) and a boozer (Gasparino)...if the cokehead don't win...we all jump in!
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:10PM
917-359-5025 is really his cell.. hit him up
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:10PM
TGFD knows...Charlie just realized he guessed the correct closing Dow number in today's DB Contest. The inside info he got from Bess helped.
The Guy from Delaware
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:10PM
@25...
nice
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:11PM
He had just heard that a condition of Buffett's $3B is his head...
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:12PM
@35 called that # it wasn't him that answered!
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:12PM
@29 yeah we got it, it just wasn't funny.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:14PM
Bad Meth day. Someone please put The Gasbag out of his misery and send him to Betty Ford.
First person to post the meltdown link wins a coffee cup!
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:14PM
it's his voicemail...maybe admin picked up?
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:17PM
@42 Not his phone # dude...call it and see for yourself.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:18PM
Maybe he was getting sucked off under the desk by Faber at the time.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:19PM
Not Cbag's cell phone number, just some random douch
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:20PM
Don't Know What You Got
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUA0ai0XxRU
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:20PM
I think Jamie-Lynn jerked him in first class on the return flight.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:22PM
HAHAHAH I JUST HAD A CONVO WITH CHARLIE!!!!!! HE CALLED ME BACK FROM A DIFF NUMBER, SWEAR TO GOD IT WAS HIM. THE NUMBER IS 212-664-4444 LOL HAHAHAHAHAHAH
HE'S ALL WE ARE GONNA FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE, AND IM LIKE BRO, IM A STUDENT CHILL OUT
really just made my day
I talked to him for about 5 minutes, and thanked him for his time after it. WOW
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:22PM
Gasparino - you got Stugots, that's what you got. Put the crack pipe down and walk yourself off the camera with whatever dignity you have left.
We are so tired of you...........
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:22PM
@47 Gasp is the new Turtle
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:22PM
THEY TRIED TO MAKE HIM GO TO REHAB BUT HE WON"T GO GO GO.....NO>>NO>>NO!
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:23PM
I think Jamie-Lynn jerked him in first class on the return flight.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:25PM
48 again
I told him I found his number on dealbreaker and he told me i was wasting my time reading this trash
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:26PM
It was just a fuckin coke-fueled,
prima-donna hissy fit.
Ratigan, watch your back. He'll be waiting for you outside NASDAQ tonight.
This is not over. Should sell some papers.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:27PM
Just spoke with him and he and Fuld are looking to whack Bess...
Posted by GinNTonic , Oct 30, 2008 4:27PM
@47
She would have f'ed him too if he didn't tell you about it
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:28PM
Ratgam will take off his red driving moc and beat Gas bag over the head with it. This will be the cat fight of the century!
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:28PM
Go get your shinebox.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:29PM
Bess get over to CNBC we need some video footage of this!
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:32PM
@47 That comment will be funny in a year or two
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:33PM
@56 - love it. Bitch slaps are coming tonight!!!
WE NEED FOOTAGE. NOW.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:33PM
by the way that shit he was saying like "what you have you cant get" is a known as a Koan, which is a tool used in Zen Buddhism to stimulate the mind.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:35PM
Just watch Mackey. Predict his meltdown is next. Been scarin' me last few shows. Too much corn in his hopper or something. At least we know it's not drugs, like Cracksparino.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:37PM
@62, what the hell are you talking about?
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:38PM
What have I got? I said remember that
What have I got? I said remember that
What have I got? I said remember that
What have I got? I said remember that
What have I got?
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:41PM
@63 - Jeff, really, I love you to death but you have been getting very, very excited recently and I just don't want to see a stand-up straight shooter like yourself lose it over stupid shit. Calm down and drink some Camomille tea right before the show.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:42PM
definitely his phone....talked to him after 3 posted...he is going to love all of the calls.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:44PM
For the love of God - someone post the clip!
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:44PM
Rehab? Charlie said no no no.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LD5sahXoj0U
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:47PM
(That's) why I don't cry when my dog runs away
I don't get angry at the bills I have to pay
I don't get angry when my Mom smokes pot
Hits the bottle and goes right to the rock
Fuckin' and fightin', it's all the same
Livin' with Louie dog's the only way to stay sane
Let the lovin', let the lovin' come back to me
What have I got? I said remember that
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:48PM
For the Love of Christ - somebody, anybody GET.THE.CLIP.AND.POST.IT
We need something to chew on at happy hour with our Fast Money
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:50PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtgxMkp25Rg
needs a few more minutes to finish processing
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:51PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtgxMkp25Rg
needs a few more minutes to finish processing
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:52PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtgxMkp25Rg
needs a few more minutes to finish processing
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:53PM
@73 - thankie thankie thankie.
This will be one of the top 10's for the year, Bess. Any votes?
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:54PM
wtf was that, seriously
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:54PM
I think we need more duplicate posts. It makes the jokes funnier.
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:56PM
holy shit.
wtf was that?
"shoot to the capitalist system."
thanks #71, 72 and 73
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 4:58PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtgxMkp25Rg
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 5:12PM
drugs are bad
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 5:52PM
Dylan vs. Charlie in Pay Per View fight. Cramer could be ref. Erin could be "round girl". Lets get it ON!
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 7:05PM
u sure we are not talking about larry kudlow
Posted by NotNasser , Oct 30, 2008 7:19PM
Stay groovy, San Diego?
Posted by SausageOfDoom , Oct 30, 2008 7:32PM
After watching the video, I thought Bess went way too easy on CG in her post (she has a soft side after all).
Did she get any comment from Gaspar or is he unreachable and face-down in an alley somewhere?
Posted by guest , Oct 30, 2008 11:02PM
BAC is going to reduce the PP of MER.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist, although they apparently are good at allocating TARP funds at 50% off.
It's like getting to the moon on 200% of projected cost only in reverse.
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 7:53AM
Gasparino is going to be the next casualty of the crash. He'll be on a street corner offering blow jobs for gabagool soon.
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 9:29AM
What a guido and douche~bag!
Gas~bag~a~rino having a Diva moment?
"What's the frequency Kenneth?"
"Shoot to the Capitalist System"
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 9:35AM
Gabby~gool, gabba~gool.
Morrta~dell, morrta~dell.
Zal~cheech, zal~cheech.
Vah~noouk, fah~noouk.
Gas~bag~a~rino is a Guido and a muscle-head douche~a~rino.
Ster~oids~a, ster~oids~a.
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 11:26AM
the real youtube vid:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTZ8LaWz3N4
Posted by guest , Oct 31, 2008 11:30AM
Better audio/video at this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTZ8LaWz3N4
Posted by guest , Nov 03, 2008 9:59AM
Gasparino repeatedly said, "Shoot to the capitalism" in response to Ratigan's warning, which was (as they started talking over one another) that if Charlie would not start his story, Ratigan would have to "shoot to the capitalism story" that CNBC had lined up as the next story.
That doesn't excuse Gasparino's belligerence before he started saying that, but it most clearly means he was NOT saying "shoot the capitalism"!
If commentators are going to pile on Charlie Gasparino (which they are fully free to do; it's a free country), at least get your facts straight before doing so, and don't start making up things that didn't happen. And if you want to be taken seriously, then avoid the juvenile potty talk and sexual innuendos and insinuations.
A CG acquaintance
Posted by guest , Jan 27, 2009 11:24PM
CG and Ludlow are the (two) best on CNBC...end of story!
Tom G.
Posted by guest , Jul 02, 2009 3:33PM
Could someone please persuade Gasparino to, you know, /look/ at the camera?