• 30 Oct 2008 at 3:38 PM

WTF Just Happened To Charlie Gasparino?

By Bess Levin

Picture 130.pngSo, okay. The “Closing Bell” team of Dylan Ratigan and Melissa Lee just cut to Charlie Gasparino who supposedly was going to give us some information on “turmoil” at Merrill Lynch. Those of you watching, though, know that didn’t happen. We don’t have a clip– someone, anyone, for the love of No Sleeves and his BoFlex, send it to us now– but paraphrasing, I shit you not, it went like this:


Ratigan: Charlie, what have you got?
Gasparino: What have I got? That’s almost Zen-like.
Ratigan: Yeah…so give us the story.
Gasparino: What have I got? What have I got? What have I got?
Lee: Charlie, just tell us!
Gasparino: What have I got?
Ratigan: Charlie, we’ve got limited time.
Gasparino: What have I got? What I got is shoot for the capitalism.
Ratigan: ‘Shoot for the capitalism’? What?
Gasparino: What have I got?
Ratigan: Okay, not really sure what just happened there.
The most bizarre thing is that while it wouldn’t surprise us to see Gaspar get into a tiff with one of his colleagues, he didn’t sound angry or like he was juicing, just really stoned the whole time. I’m not saying he was, and in fact, I have no idea what I’m saying. That’s how strange the whole thing was. One really crazy theory is that maybe Charlie realized he didn’t really have anything new to say about Merrill? But that’s completely unlike him. He always has new angles on stories from well-placed sources. Seriously, I have no idea. We’re going to try and get in touch with CG now. In the meantime, let us know if you have any idea WTF just happened.

Comments (90)

Newer Comments
  1. 1
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 3:44 PM

    oh god. i knew he would crack one day. somebody post the link!!!

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 3:45 PM

    Either drunk or distracted because an intern was blowing him under the desk. Or both.

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 3:46 PM

    well ? what did he got?

  4. 4
    Posted by HighYield | October 30, 2008 at 3:46 PM

    What have you got, Charlie? No credibility and even less penile girth. Go ahead, ask me again…

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 3:47 PM

    Almost as bizarre as that Fast Money ep 2 weeks ago where the first 5 minutes was dedicated to flatulence..

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 3:48 PM

    Guess who is going to rehab !

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 3:49 PM

    He was probably going to regergitate some rumor and at the last minute the producer received a call from legal telling him to pull it leaving gas bag speechless!

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 3:50 PM

    You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me?

  9. 9
    Posted by msbbk110 | October 30, 2008 at 3:51 PM

    that clip was classic…gasparino look like he was about to do a Tyson on Ratigan…Hold on…Fight behind CNBC studio at 4pm…be there or be square

  10. 10
    Posted by msbbk110 | October 30, 2008 at 3:52 PM

    that clip was classic…gasparino look like he was about to do a Tyson on Ratigan…Hold on…Fight behind CNBC studio at 4pm…be there or be square

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 3:53 PM

    @7 That is very possible but if you had half a brain you could wing it with an inside joke or something less stoopid.

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 3:55 PM

    Didn’t know his mike was on, and he was singing “What Have I Got” by the Blind Boys of Alabama.

  13. 13
    Posted by msbbk110 | October 30, 2008 at 3:55 PM

    that clip was classic…gasparino look like he was about to do a Tyson on Ratigan…Hold on…Fight behind CNBC studio at 4pm…be there or be square

  14. 14
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 3:55 PM

    @ 11
    We are talking about Gas Bag…do you relly think he has even 1/2 a brain or ever had an original thought???
    He’s an ex-retail broker…put a script infront of him and he can speak take it away and he is lost.

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 3:55 PM

    Ratigan needs to do some work on how to question or introduce someone on television. Gasparino was right on point.

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 3:56 PM

    This was amazing. My wife immediately asked “Is he drunk.”
    I’m a fan of CG’s reporting and thought that “maybe” CG was just joking with Dylan.
    In retrospect this looks like a “meds” situation.

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 3:57 PM

    THEY TRIED TO MAKE HIM GO TO REHAB AND HE SAID NO! NO! NO!….LOL!

  18. 18
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 3:58 PM

    I think he just got the results of his chlamydia test

  19. 19
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 3:58 PM

    that was really awkward

  20. 20
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:01 PM

    #12 what is this number that you post?

  21. 21
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:01 PM

    Maybe Dylan Ratigan can be his sponsor at rehab, I hear Dylan had a few stints there himself.

  22. 22
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:02 PM

    they probably asked him to stop mentioning the blog that called him a wingnut and he finally lost it

  23. 23
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:02 PM

    @18-LSHSSFN (laughed so hard soda shot from nose)

  24. 24
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:03 PM

    Dammit. Who typed a question mark on the Teleprompter? You know CG will read anything!

  25. 25
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:06 PM

    @18 LSHSSFN (laughed so hard soda shot from nose)

  26. 26
    Posted by MarshallStack | October 30, 2008 at 4:06 PM

    Damn it – we’ll do it LIVE!
    WE”LL DO IT LIVE!!!!!!!

  27. 27
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:06 PM

    Dammit. Who typed a question mark on the Teleprompter? You know CG will read anything!

  28. 28
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:07 PM

    Charlie on youtube:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFUphoSXU7A

  29. 29
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:08 PM

    @27- it’s “fuck it, we’ll do it live”
    get it right.

  30. 30
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:08 PM

    @28 – haha! “I’m Charlie Gasparino??”

  31. 31
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:08 PM

    Gadzooks!

  32. 32
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:09 PM

    A fight…a fight…a cokehead (Ratigan) and a boozer (Gasparino)…if the cokehead don’t win…we all jump in!

  33. 33
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:10 PM

    917-359-5025 is really his cell.. hit him up

  34. 34
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:10 PM

    TGFD knows…Charlie just realized he guessed the correct closing Dow number in today’s DB Contest. The inside info he got from Bess helped.
    The Guy from Delaware

  35. 35
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:10 PM

    @25…
    nice

  36. 36
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:11 PM

    He had just heard that a condition of Buffett’s $3B is his head…

  37. 37
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:12 PM

    @35 called that # it wasn’t him that answered!

  38. 38
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:14 PM

    Bad Meth day. Someone please put The Gasbag out of his misery and send him to Betty Ford.
    First person to post the meltdown link wins a coffee cup!

  39. 39
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:14 PM

    it’s his voicemail…maybe admin picked up?

  40. 40
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:17 PM

    @42 Not his phone # dude…call it and see for yourself.

  41. 41
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:18 PM

    Maybe he was getting sucked off under the desk by Faber at the time.

  42. 42
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:19 PM

    Not Cbag’s cell phone number, just some random douch

  43. 43
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:20 PM

    Don’t Know What You Got
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUA0ai0XxRU

  44. 44
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:20 PM

    I think Jamie-Lynn jerked him in first class on the return flight.

  45. 45
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:22 PM

    HAHAHAH I JUST HAD A CONVO WITH CHARLIE!!!!!! HE CALLED ME BACK FROM A DIFF NUMBER, SWEAR TO GOD IT WAS HIM. THE NUMBER IS 212-664-4444 LOL HAHAHAHAHAHAH
    HE’S ALL WE ARE GONNA FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE, AND IM LIKE BRO, IM A STUDENT CHILL OUT
    really just made my day
    I talked to him for about 5 minutes, and thanked him for his time after it. WOW

  46. 46
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:22 PM

    Gasparino – you got Stugots, that’s what you got. Put the crack pipe down and walk yourself off the camera with whatever dignity you have left.
    We are so tired of you………..

  47. 47
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:22 PM

    @47 Gasp is the new Turtle

  48. 48
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:22 PM

    THEY TRIED TO MAKE HIM GO TO REHAB BUT HE WON”T GO GO GO…..NO>>NO>>NO!

  49. 49
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:23 PM

    I think Jamie-Lynn jerked him in first class on the return flight.

  50. 50
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:25 PM

    48 again
    I told him I found his number on dealbreaker and he told me i was wasting my time reading this trash

  51. 51
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:26 PM

    It was just a fuckin coke-fueled,
    prima-donna hissy fit.
    Ratigan, watch your back. He’ll be waiting for you outside NASDAQ tonight.
    This is not over. Should sell some papers.

  52. 52
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:27 PM

    Just spoke with him and he and Fuld are looking to whack Bess…

  53. 53
    Posted by GinNTonic | October 30, 2008 at 4:27 PM

    @47
    She would have f’ed him too if he didn’t tell you about it

  54. 54
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:28 PM

    Ratgam will take off his red driving moc and beat Gas bag over the head with it. This will be the cat fight of the century!

  55. 55
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:28 PM

    Go get your shinebox.

  56. 56
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:29 PM

    Bess get over to CNBC we need some video footage of this!

  57. 57
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:32 PM

    @47 That comment will be funny in a year or two

  58. 58
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:33 PM

    @56 – love it. Bitch slaps are coming tonight!!!
    WE NEED FOOTAGE. NOW.

  59. 59
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:33 PM

    by the way that shit he was saying like “what you have you cant get” is a known as a Koan, which is a tool used in Zen Buddhism to stimulate the mind.

  60. 60
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:35 PM

    Just watch Mackey. Predict his meltdown is next. Been scarin’ me last few shows. Too much corn in his hopper or something. At least we know it’s not drugs, like Cracksparino.

  61. 61
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:37 PM

    @62, what the hell are you talking about?

  62. 62
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:38 PM

    What have I got? I said remember that
    What have I got? I said remember that
    What have I got? I said remember that
    What have I got? I said remember that
    What have I got?

  63. 63
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:41 PM

    @63 – Jeff, really, I love you to death but you have been getting very, very excited recently and I just don’t want to see a stand-up straight shooter like yourself lose it over stupid shit. Calm down and drink some Camomille tea right before the show.

  64. 64
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:42 PM

    definitely his phone….talked to him after 3 posted…he is going to love all of the calls.

  65. 65
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:44 PM

    For the love of God – someone post the clip!

  66. 66
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:44 PM

    Rehab? Charlie said no no no.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LD5sahXoj0U

  67. 67
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:47 PM

    (That’s) why I don’t cry when my dog runs away
    I don’t get angry at the bills I have to pay
    I don’t get angry when my Mom smokes pot
    Hits the bottle and goes right to the rock
    Fuckin’ and fightin’, it’s all the same
    Livin’ with Louie dog’s the only way to stay sane
    Let the lovin’, let the lovin’ come back to me
    What have I got? I said remember that

  68. 68
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:48 PM

    For the Love of Christ – somebody, anybody GET.THE.CLIP.AND.POST.IT
    We need something to chew on at happy hour with our Fast Money

  69. 69
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:50 PM

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtgxMkp25Rg
    needs a few more minutes to finish processing

  70. 70
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:51 PM

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtgxMkp25Rg
    needs a few more minutes to finish processing

  71. 71
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:52 PM

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtgxMkp25Rg
    needs a few more minutes to finish processing

  72. 72
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:53 PM

    @73 – thankie thankie thankie.
    This will be one of the top 10′s for the year, Bess. Any votes?

  73. 73
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:54 PM

    wtf was that, seriously

  74. 74
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:54 PM

    I think we need more duplicate posts. It makes the jokes funnier.

  75. 75
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:56 PM

    holy shit.
    wtf was that?
    “shoot to the capitalist system.”
    thanks #71, 72 and 73

  76. 76
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 4:58 PM

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtgxMkp25Rg

  77. 77
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 5:12 PM

    drugs are bad

  78. 78
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 5:52 PM

    Dylan vs. Charlie in Pay Per View fight. Cramer could be ref. Erin could be “round girl”. Lets get it ON!

  79. 79
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 7:05 PM

    u sure we are not talking about larry kudlow

  80. 80
    Posted by NotNasser | October 30, 2008 at 7:19 PM

    Stay groovy, San Diego?

  81. 81
    Posted by SausageOfDoom | October 30, 2008 at 7:32 PM

    After watching the video, I thought Bess went way too easy on CG in her post (she has a soft side after all).
    Did she get any comment from Gaspar or is he unreachable and face-down in an alley somewhere?

  82. 82
    Posted by guest | October 30, 2008 at 11:02 PM

    BAC is going to reduce the PP of MER.
    It doesn’t take a rocket scientist, although they apparently are good at allocating TARP funds at 50% off.
    It’s like getting to the moon on 200% of projected cost only in reverse.

  83. 83
    Posted by guest | October 31, 2008 at 7:53 AM

    Gasparino is going to be the next casualty of the crash. He’ll be on a street corner offering blow jobs for gabagool soon.

  84. 84
    Posted by guest | October 31, 2008 at 9:29 AM

    What a guido and douche~bag!
    Gas~bag~a~rino having a Diva moment?
    “What’s the frequency Kenneth?”
    “Shoot to the Capitalist System”

  85. 85
    Posted by guest | October 31, 2008 at 9:35 AM

    Gabby~gool, gabba~gool.
    Morrta~dell, morrta~dell.
    Zal~cheech, zal~cheech.
    Vah~noouk, fah~noouk.
    Gas~bag~a~rino is a Guido and a muscle-head douche~a~rino.
    Ster~oids~a, ster~oids~a.

  86. 86
    Posted by guest | October 31, 2008 at 11:26 AM

    the real youtube vid:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTZ8LaWz3N4

  87. 87
    Posted by guest | October 31, 2008 at 11:30 AM

    Better audio/video at this one:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTZ8LaWz3N4

  88. 88
    Posted by guest | November 3, 2008 at 9:59 AM

    Gasparino repeatedly said, “Shoot to the capitalism” in response to Ratigan’s warning, which was (as they started talking over one another) that if Charlie would not start his story, Ratigan would have to “shoot to the capitalism story” that CNBC had lined up as the next story.
    That doesn’t excuse Gasparino’s belligerence before he started saying that, but it most clearly means he was NOT saying “shoot the capitalism”!
    If commentators are going to pile on Charlie Gasparino (which they are fully free to do; it’s a free country), at least get your facts straight before doing so, and don’t start making up things that didn’t happen. And if you want to be taken seriously, then avoid the juvenile potty talk and sexual innuendos and insinuations.
    A CG acquaintance

  89. 89
    Posted by guest | January 27, 2009 at 11:24 PM

    CG and Ludlow are the (two) best on CNBC…end of story!
    Tom G.

  90. 90
    Posted by guest | July 2, 2009 at 3:33 PM

    Could someone please persuade Gasparino to, you know, /look/ at the camera?

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