• 18 Nov 2008 at 9:52 AM

A New Era At Citi?

Picture 211.pngSo, according to those who track such things, the 388 Greenwich groups to watch get slaughtered in the near term are global corporate banking, IBD, M&A, and global portfolio management. That we’ll buy. What we’re slightly skeptical about is the rumor that “janitors have already put boxes out on each floor.” Why? Because Vikram Pandit just acknowledged 53,000 people would be getting canned yesterday. Obviously it’s been in the works for a while but this would be an extremely impressive turn around time for any company, let alone an insolvent one.*
It would pretty much be the first time Citi moved its ass on anything. It would also represent the first time the Big C lived up to its promise to pull all-nighters since introducing us to its fantastic new motto back in May (we received word up the cleaning staff putting out the pack up your shit receptacles circa 2 am). Perhaps we’re looking at a new regime at Citi? The only other explanation we can think of is that this is standard protocol for the custodial arts staff, known for expediency and thoroughness practically foreign to the firm at large, and that those in charge of distributing the actual pink slips will fuck it up in short order. (Obviously it goes without saying that we recommend a coup, at least in the c-suite.)
*Get over yourselves, I’m just trying to keep it casual in here.

Comments (51)

  1. Posted by Headless Horseman | November 18, 2008 at 9:56 AM

    First blocker.

  2. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 9:58 AM

    Happy holidays fucktards! Should have gone to beauty school instead.
    But seriously – the announcements are supposed to happen by EOW, but the employees have a stay of execution for 60 days. Or some shit like that.

  3. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:00 AM

    Stay of execution with a box in front of your desk. ouch.
    “let alone an insolvent one (KIDDING).”
    Bess are you on the Goldman payroll?

  4. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:06 AM

    All thes CEOS should be canned, thats what I think. This place has been doomed for years though, over expansion and poor management. History will judge the BSC idiots, Stan oneal, Mack and all the rest as the guys who crippled a once proud industry and ruined thousands of lives. Nice job gents

  5. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:07 AM

    if they put an empty iron mountain box next to your cube is that a bad thing?

  6. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:10 AM

    Sad to hear this for our friends and colleagues at Citi.
    Hopefully they take care of the people they need to cut.

  7. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:11 AM

    BESS ITS YOUR HIGHSCHOOL CRUSH. NO LIVE BLOGGING BEARD, BADLY AND BAIR?

  8. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:11 AM

    if they unplug your harddrive and take it away is that a bad thing?

  9. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:12 AM

    if you’re acess pass stops working and your extension doesn’t exist anymore is that abad thing?

  10. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:13 AM

    @7- what’s the point? they have these retarded, useless shouting session practically every week.

  11. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:14 AM

    if the guard unlocks your cell and walks away silently, and suddenly the hulking figure of Bubba appears in your doorstep, is that a bad thing?

  12. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:24 AM

    Barney Frank is a fat blowhard, has he ever taken a finance class?? These guys are all full of crap, where were they when this was all going on???

  13. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:25 AM

    What are the first year anal-sex numbers?

  14. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:27 AM

    50K “reduction” is a sham. Note the company didnt say layoffs. THey are selling the German retail franchise – 33K employees right there. This is all window dressing for the media.

  15. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:29 AM

    @12- Doing their job. Everyone can’t be an expert at everything.

  16. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:31 AM

    @15 there is quite some space between being an expert at everything and being Barney Frank.

  17. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:35 AM

    EVERYONE NEEDS TO SETTLE DOWN
    RIGHT NOW

  18. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:35 AM

    Frank should be in hiding
    http://www.businessandmedia.org/articles/2008/20080924145932.aspx
    Just a month before, Frank had aggressively thwarted reform efforts by the Bush administration. He told The New York Times on Sept. 11, 2003, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac’s problems were “exaggerated,” a gross miscalculation some five years later with costs estimated to be in the hundreds of billions.
    “These two entities – Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac – are not facing any kind of financial crisis,” Frank said to the Times. “The more people exaggerate these problems, the more pressure there is on these companies, the less we will see in terms of affordable housing.”
    Frank has also reaped campaign contribution benefits from Fannie Mae and its counterpart Freddie Mac. According a front page story in the Sept. 19, 2008, Investor’s Business Daily by Terry Jones, Frank has received $40,100 in campaign cash over the past two decades from the GSEs.

  19. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:37 AM

    Frank needs Spank

  20. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:38 AM

    any update on 388 layoffs? today or tomorrow?

  21. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:39 AM

    @19 So?

  22. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:42 AM

    19 Powerful guy this Frank, able to single handedly thwart the fine efforts of the Bush admin. He’s clearly the cause of the mess we’re in now.

  23. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:44 AM

    @22, he’s been instrumental in allowing the mortgage crisis grow to this point. creating a complicated mess. then he does nothing but scream and stomp his feet when it’s not fixed immediately.

  24. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:47 AM

    + he’s gayer than GAnalYst

  25. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:47 AM

    Anybody else getting wood from Barney Frank’s heavy breathing on the microphone?

  26. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:48 AM

    @24 – So he’s a liberal hustler, and?

  27. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:50 AM
  28. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:51 AM

    24 Again that implication that the “mortgage crisis” is the fault of lowering underwriting standards at the GSE’s. Not true. Most of the toxic s!!t was underwritten independently and packaged and sold by Wall Street with minimal oversight and the blessings of the rating agencies, given that that was such a great business. A lot of bankers at all levels took home big bonuses, from originators to packagers to sellers. Much as you like bashing Frank, the congressional support that the GSE’s had was a truly minor factor in creating the mess.

  29. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:57 AM

    Totally agree with you 29, but its just nauseating to listen to these idiotic politicians kicking and screaming They are s-bags also. Bottom ine, people who made no money were buying 700 grand homes with no money down and all o these masters of the universe on wall st thought nothing of it. These guys ruined finance, end of story

  30. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 11:18 AM

    When is MS layoff? it must be soon as their yearend if Nov 30.
    What are whisper numbers for bonus for VP and below?

  31. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 11:44 AM

    @32…peace and love buddy, why you gotta fill the citi coffers like that?

  32. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 12:02 PM

    @ 32 – you must be delusional if you think the food there is good!
    anyways, tech/ops is relatively safe.

  33. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 12:09 PM

    @34..
    #32 here…i agree food is not the greatest you can get but still better than what my girlfriend coooks
    anyway the message is… the firing is not going to happen…as someone mentioned abve
    33K would go in germany (when the sell german retail)
    10K would go in India where they have some folks selling credit cards and haev a monthly salary for $40
    10K would go away in rest of asia where they sell some dipshit and get an income of $90 per month.
    all our jobs (ie $150K upwards) are safe as obamas daughters

  34. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 12:16 PM

    @32 – Yeah, you can only cut so much of cake – the people that actually do the work!
    IBD, Corp. Banking, all icing on this every shrinking cake called C.
    No reason to keep the bankers around… it’s like maintaining a zoo full of well-groomed, entitled and moody bengal tigers… no more pray for you to kill gents, thank you and here’s your pink slip!

  35. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 12:26 PM

    It’s just another day without yooooooouuuu
    sing it, Jon Secada, sing it

  36. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 1:19 PM

    the least Pandit could do is to forgo his bonus as well….

  37. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 1:27 PM

    anything in 388 yet guys?

  38. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 1:29 PM

    anything in 388 yet guys?

  39. Posted by Anal_yst | November 18, 2008 at 1:30 PM

    anyone know about nyse moving amex ops to 111 WS btw?

  40. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 1:31 PM

    anything in 388 yet guys?

  41. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 2:11 PM

    It’s going down tomorrow. 10-20% of all IBD groups.

  42. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 2:23 PM

    388…go buy that last cup of jo at Peace & Love…God I miss that place….

  43. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 2:33 PM

    does anybody know if they are just cutting the bottom 20% of performers in IBD? or are they cutting with a view to be more bottom-heavy?

  44. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 3:06 PM

    energy group told 25%

  45. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 3:06 PM

    energy group told 25%. MDs going tonight.

  46. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 8:31 PM

    The boxes thing is true. I know of five ficc traders fired. Heard from an SA how terminates accounts that many were let go and more will be Wednesday.

  47. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 9:00 PM

    388/390G is tomorrow: some interesting things going on toward the EOD with the MD’s etc

  48. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 9:00 PM

    388/390G is tomorrow: some interesting things going on toward the EOD with the MD’s etc

  49. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:24 PM

    ibd and grb cuts are tomorrow or just ibd?

  50. Posted by guest | November 18, 2008 at 10:48 PM

    20pct in FICC. 40pct in GSM. Some cuts in 388/390G today. A lot more tomm. Get ready for bloodbath part 2.

  51. Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 1:12 AM

    Looks like 30% gone in JBD

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