GENERAL MOTORS CORP GM SAYS INTENDS TO TAKE CONGRESS' DOUBLE DOG DARE AND DELIVER PLAN THAT SHOWS VIABILITY IN EXCHANGE FOR 25 BILLIONGENERAL MOTORS CORP GM SAYS WILL DELIVER SOLUTION TO PIONEER ANOMALY TUESDAY FOR EXTRA 10 BILLION
GENERAL MOTORS CORP SAYS WILL PROVE COLLATZ CONJECTURE OVER WEEKEND AND HAVE ANSWER ON PRESIDENT'S DESK BY MONDAY MORNING FOR 15 BILLION
FORD MOTORS CORP SAYS WILL DELIVER CONGRESS SOLUTION TO COLD FUSION IN EXCHANGE FOR 30 BILLION
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:52PM
too weird, didn't read
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:52PM
I want one of those Pontiac Azteks.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:54PM
HOLY FUCKING CAPS
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:54PM
Yugo will deliver secret formula that "tells" a cooler to keep warm things warm and cold things cold without human input in exchange for some new tires and a radio that works.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:55PM
Anyone know why we tanked so hard today? More hedge fund liquidation by PBs?
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:56PM
GENERAL MOTORS PROMISES TO PUBLISH RACY PHOTO OF DB STAFF BY CHRISTMAS IN EFFORT TO SECURE $95 BILLION IN BAILOUT FUNDS
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:56PM
I think it was an attempt to mimick the pirate post from before. Not as good as original.
But we still love you EP.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:56PM
@2...your dream car:
http://www.autogaleria.pl/tapety/img/pontiac/pontiac_aztek_2001_01_b.jpg
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:57PM
John DeLorean will deliver a flux capcitor that will bring him back from the dead in exchange for a full pardon on all drug charges.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:00PM
CHRYSLER OPTS FOR THE PHYSICAL CHALLENGE.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:03PM
i would go about solving the Birch and Swinnerton-Dyer Conjecture to get the extra mil from clay
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:04PM
Would current dumb-ass presdent know a Collatz Conjecture from the Weapons of Mass Delusion?
Posted by Anal_yst , Nov 20, 2008 5:05PM
It makes more sense in light of the newswires gents:
NEWS STORY FOR GM 2763 (Source: RAS)
16:17 11/20 GENERAL MOTORS CORP GM SAYS INTENDS TO DELIVER PLAN TO CONGRESS THAT SHOWS VIABILITY
hence the epic challenge and utter silliness in the post
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:06PM
Sweet Double Dare logo EP
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:11PM
You just got killed by a Daewoo Lanos mothafucka!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGSo5GacPBM
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:11PM
Bringin back the Corvair ! sweet
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:15PM
From an old BusinessWeek-
APRIL 13, 2006
News & Features
By David Welch
Lutz Says GM Is Over the Worst
GM's Robert A. Lutz boldly predicts that new models and cost cutting will return to the company to profitability
Here's a bold statement: General Motors (GM) is on its way back. At least, that's what GM's ever-quotable Vice-Chairman Robert A. "Bob" Lutz said at the New York Auto Show
Posted by miami , Nov 20, 2008 5:15PM
If anyone can make the Big 3 look profitable, it's Cayne, Raines, and Fuld.
Also, I hear they aren't doing anything.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:18PM
@10- thats classic....
Posted by Investorcluzo , Nov 20, 2008 5:19PM
love the dd logo, brings back days of simpler times:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5wVyov4KDo
given the talk about the gov't not being able to get senior to the current debt holders, perhaps management should work out a pre-pack. obama and the gang could swoop in as DIP financers leaving the equity and debt holders to fend for themselves...
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:20PM
GM isn't very good at the Feats of Strength, but they are outstanding at the Airing of Grievances.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:20PM
Are you kidding me Cayne would rather play bridge until he has no mental capacity left whatsoever
Posted by miami , Nov 20, 2008 5:22PM
No, I'm not kidding, Cayne can still play Bridge and make Ford look profitable...
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:25PM
congress demands however that the plans are submitted in time for festivus
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:26PM
touche
Posted by Anal_yst , Nov 20, 2008 5:28PM
Mark Summers might actually be able to do it. Guy went from hosting Double Dare to basically owning the Food Network.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:29PM
D/B has turned into a forum where only the most unfunny people can create threads.
Go recruit some funny people.
Trip W.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:30PM
Wow, Collatz Conjecture and Pioneer Anomaly in the same post. Someone is a frustrated mathematician/physicist.
7, 22, 11, 34, 17, 52, 26, 13, 40, 20, 10, 5, 16, 8, 4, 2, 1.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:36PM
Good to see they've brought back the telegram.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:39PM
I think the problem is that the problems have been boring. Since August, everyday has simply been more of the same. Its just no fun.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:39PM
America Loses WWII to Japan in 2008
The Auto Industry helped win World War II in 1945 and created the American middle class. It's ironic that the industry that saved this nation is no longer supported by its citizens or government. It’s doubly ironic that American car buyers have supported the auto industry of Japan over their own domestic car makers. And it's tragic because the demise of the industry will put us all into an Economic Depression.
- Liquid
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:40PM
@21 - Festivus for the rest of us!
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:47PM
31 that would never happen if US automakers made viable vehicles...
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:49PM
31 One could look at it another way: in the 50 and 60s when the rest of the world was still trying to recover from WWII, American manufacturers of all kinds had the market to themselves and got a bit fat and happy. Beginning in the 70s the rest of the world started to recover and by the 80s became formidible competition. In the 90s people like WalMart began sqeezing costs out of the system, basically wiping out what remained of the US manufacturing base. There is some evidence of a return to quality goods (think the New Balances sneakers that are made in the US, or Harleys), but certainly not in a scale that can replace what is lost. And that was before the hard times that are coming fast, where quality is certainly going to be trumped by cost considerations.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:55PM
@ 31 and what will you call it when the bailout of the Big 3 becomes the straw that breaks the camels back?
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:58PM
Anyone remember the textile mills?
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 6:04PM
Unemployment benes extended for 7 more weeks for NY'rs
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 6:08PM
@15 - gonna have to see that movie now.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 6:11PM
The US having transitioned to a service based economy certainly isn't going to help this recovery in the least.
I guess that's one of the prime factors why I think we shouldn't be looking at Depression era fixes.
The economy is ... different. Very very different.
LOL @ BUILD MOAR ROADS. Sure hope it works, but not holding my breath.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 6:13PM
is anyone reading this epic shit?
http://thefoggymonocle.com/?p=569#more-569
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 6:14PM
@31,
The auto industry is a sideshow. They had a nice run building gas guzzling SUVs for the past 10 years.
The irony is that we're not losing to Japan, we're following their example set from 1990 to 2000. We bought their cars and that still didn't pull them up from their economic malaise which was caused by: 1) over investment in real estate 2) an unwillingness to mark down/write-off bad loans 3) loose monetary policy.
Does any of that sound familiar?
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 6:15PM
@27.....we're not your personal comedy monkeys. If you want funny, go talk to a former Enron quant.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 6:24PM
IF a british lb = $1.568, and a Swiss Franc = $.8521, wouldn't the cross rate (lb/franc) = 1.84?
What am i missing here?
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 6:30PM
43 here, i meant the cross rate (franc/lb)
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 6:31PM
43 here, i meant cross rate (franc/lb) not (lb/franc)
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 6:33PM
shut the fuck up 43, but yes that would be the correct cross rate in some make believe fucking world where reality doesn't exist
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 6:48PM
You're all anti-American. Hope you all enjoy your Honda's and BMW's as you sit in your living room unemployed with no job in sight.
TGFD
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 6:56PM
Just more unpatriotic negativism from liberals who question the Party of God, and the Party of Real Americans.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 7:04PM
@47 - oh shut the fuck up you fucking bigot. Honda alone employs over 40,000 American workers, and unlike GM they sell reliable cars at a good value to American consumers.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 7:20PM
@49
They also bombed the U.S.. Would you buy a car from Bin Ladin?
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 7:24PM
@ 50 they (the japanese) are also one of the largest buyers for US debt, despite the fact that we dropped not one, but two, atomic bombs on them.
stupid anecdotes are stupid.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 7:32PM
@51
The had the bombs coming. Try the following link to learn something.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bataan_Death_March
Posted by Anal_yst , Nov 20, 2008 8:01PM
@ TGFD, etc, re: 49
Oh, and Honda does it all without UAW labor, and both parties seem to be getting along fine.
Hmmm...
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 8:58PM
@16
Got one in my garage. Pale mauve soft top.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:45PM
@ TGFD - don't let idiots post under your name. My BMW was made in South Carolina. Last time I looked, that was south of Delaware but still in the USA. You also need to tell the idiot posting under your name that many Hondas are built in Ohio. Again, that is west of Delaware for those without an atlas but still in the US.
It is comforting to know that Congress and the auto makers are ok with playing the financial equivalent of "just the tip" with the bailout package.
- Fixed Income
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:56PM
I would buy a Corvette made by Toyota before I bought a Corvette made by GM!!!!!!
Why don't the douche bag politicians understand this???
Posted by stimpy tec , Nov 20, 2008 10:12PM
What's good for number theory is good for America! I have discovered a truly marvelous demonstration of this proposition, that this comment-box is too narrow to contain. But here's a hint - Lothar Collatz's assistant Carl de Boor worked at General Motors Research.
Posted by Novice , Nov 20, 2008 11:15PM
@Fixed: Don't let der Bayern fool you. It's not an American car unless it's built in Michigan by guys making $75/hr to allay their fears of playing pinochle during the workweek with other Jobs Bank victims.
California and Indiana aren't in the pro-America parts of America, while Texas is clearly still its own country. QED there are no cars made in America outside Detroit.
Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 2:25AM
I think the Aztek looks neat.
Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 4:04AM
TGFD has a big burning cross sticking out of his fat ugly ass
Posted by chernevik , Nov 21, 2008 8:45AM
Add "develop economically efficient renewable energy" on to that list, and you've got the Democrats' energy policy.
Posted by MarshallStack , Nov 21, 2008 8:54AM
EP make me laugh all the time.
Nice tag - “formaldehyde”.
Do the tobacco companies really use that to produce menthol?
Make me want to smoke carton of Kool straights with morning bourbon.
Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 10:11AM
@31 if you feel that way then you bail them out yourself. Why don't you be patriotic and buy 10,000 shares of GM?
Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 12:22PM
I think this is really good. Cold fusion will enable their cars to be fuel efficient, whereas the extra $10 billion dollars can be used to prevent bankruptcy.
Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 12:27PM
I think this is really good. Cold fusion will enable their cars to be fuel efficient, whereas the extra $10 billion dollars can be used to prevent bankruptcy.