animated siren gif animated siren gif animated siren gif drudge report.GIFSayeth spokesman Michael Hanretta (and I’m sure Vikram Pandit would agree):

“Citi has a very strong capital and liquidity position and a unique global franchise. We are focused on executing our strategy, including our targeted expense and legacy asset reductions, and we believe the benefits will be seen over time.”

Comments (62)

  1. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 3:59 PM

    Heard that one before.

  2. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:00 PM

    I bet lots of people wish they could consider their owe-more-than-they’re-worth houses a “legacy asset” rather than a “liability”.

  3. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:02 PM

    …and we believe the benefits will be seen over time.”
    You don’t specify, I apply very high discount rate.
    PEB

  4. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:03 PM

    They sent this out earlier today and even our MD said it was lame. Mood is strangely calm as people can’t think of anything more which can go wrong (unless Pandit has a kid porn dungeon).

  5. Posted by Clown Capital | November 20, 2008 at 4:03 PM

    3rd to realize that tomorrow is “Black Friday” for Vikram’s ass…
    Happy Selling!!!

  6. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:04 PM

    Kiss of Death…

  7. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:05 PM

    They sent this out earlier today and even our MD said it was lame. Mood is strangely calm as people can’t think of anything more which can go wrong (unless Pandit has a kid porn dungeon).

  8. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:05 PM

    Must be convenient to get to recycle the words of Bear Stearns/Lehman Brothers forefathers that went before them…

  9. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:05 PM

    ITS THE END OF THE WORLD

  10. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:07 PM

    ITS THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT, AND I FEEL FINE

  11. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:07 PM

    That was a Cut & paste from Fulds last conf call…

  12. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:08 PM

    Kiss of Death…

  13. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:09 PM

    Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Richard S. Fuld, Jr. said, “This is an extraordinary time for our industry, and one of the toughest periods in the Firm’s history. The strategic initiatives we have announced today reflect our determination to fundamentally reposition Lehman
    2
    Brothers by dramatically reducing balance sheet risk, reinforcing our focus on our client-facing businesses and returning the Firm to profitability.”
    ____________________________
    Dick Fuld, Sept 10, 2008

  14. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:09 PM

    I just hope they have cash left for my layoff. I’m going in this weekend to steal plasmas and all the corporate art on the executive floor.

  15. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:10 PM

    SKF should buy C. Its the only way they survive.

  16. Posted by Investorcluzo | November 20, 2008 at 4:12 PM

    $4.50 = $24 bn mkt cap. where are the cds trading? I know breaking up is hard to do but at this point, are there any alternatives?

  17. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:12 PM

    @12
    I believe the proper term is MUMBAI. The evacuation jet loaded with Citi cash is headed for Mumbai at 11:00 tonight.

  18. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:13 PM

    18 – Why is it that the CDS isn’t blowing out like it did for LEH or BSC pre tits up? Recognition that the gov is going to bail them out and make bondholders whole?

  19. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:15 PM

    Citi CDS at 400/420, GS 365/380, MS 505/525

  20. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:15 PM

    20 – exactly…

  21. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:16 PM

    long CDS of citi is like being long cds of UST (US Treasury)

  22. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:16 PM

    We are just going to lay down right here until this all blows over. Also, a note to employees: reuse paper clips, turn off the lights when leaving the restrooms and if you have to jump please open the window and do not break the glass as they are expensive to replace.
    Thaaaaanks
    yer bff vik

  23. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:17 PM

    Rumor that the Somali pirates are in talks to buy Citi.

  24. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:17 PM

    What happens now that all the pension plans and institutional investors prohibited from owning stock >$5/share have to dump their C?

  25. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:19 PM

    Raymond James bigger mkt cap than Citi

  26. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:19 PM

    long CDS of citi is like being long cds of UST (US Treasury)

  27. Posted by breastmilk2percent | November 20, 2008 at 4:20 PM

    Long CDS of NYC. Broadway will be bringing in more tax revenue than Wall St. pretty soon.

  28. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:20 PM

    “After hitting the iceberg, the Titanic has a very strong capital and liquidity position and a unique global franchise. We are focused on executing our strategy, including our targeted expense and legacy asset reductions, and we believe the benefits will be seen over time.”

  29. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:22 PM

    @26 C still has 3 weeks to recover before that will happen.

  30. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:23 PM

    @29: Duane Reade probably brings in more tax revenue than Wall St.

  31. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:23 PM

    @ 25, props

  32. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:23 PM

    @26 Have til the end of the quarter to make a decision. More than likely something will be done WAY before then.

  33. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:23 PM

    @ 31: Why three weeks?

  34. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:24 PM

    Plants in corner offices, lobbies etc are rented from and watered by the people who operate the building. I jest you not, new expense policy says we have to *stop watering plants*

  35. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:24 PM

    @29 – I love this city but I gotta say all the job loses in NY and its gonna look like the Warriors movie pretty soon.

  36. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:29 PM

    37 Its still better than Detroit or Charlotte and with

  37. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:29 PM

    @35 – @31 here, see 34 in re: your query.

  38. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:29 PM

    @ 32–I think you are on to something. Citi should merge with Duane Reade. It would give them twenty times more branches than they already have and the cash from co-pays.

  39. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:30 PM

    What will happen to Shitty Field? err, i mean Citi Field?

  40. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:32 PM

    Bring out your dead
    Those sad sacks mulling arounf Grand central Station are fired lawyers
    http://endofesq.com/?p=565

  41. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:32 PM

    @40: 32 here. The slowpoke checkout women at Duane Reade will fit in perfectly with the slow-as-molasses tellers in the C branches.

  42. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:32 PM

    USZ8 up 7 fcking handles. The world is imploding

  43. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:37 PM

    Can anyone give me a legitimate reason about why Prince Alwalwhateverthefuckitis upped his ante in C? I’d hope there’s got to be something the entire world is not seeing?

  44. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:37 PM

    come to washington dc; we’re doing fine thanks to sweet government largesse. new regulations and finance landscape = full employment act for finance regulatory lawyers

  45. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:40 PM

    I believe they said that back in March – no one is buying it anymore.

  46. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:40 PM

    @45: hard to admit you’ve made a mistake. Better to add 1% and hope the market takes it as a good sign and rallies your stock, than say “this blows” and try to sell a 4% position. Bloomberg this a.m. said his funds are down 68% YTD so I’m not thinking the Prince is going to be dethroning Buffett anytime soon.

  47. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:44 PM

    45, never heard of ballers and what they do with their f u money?

  48. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 4:55 PM

    36.. you are right, i just saw it!
    hahaha .. too funny

  49. Posted by Investorcluzo | November 20, 2008 at 5:10 PM

    don’t be surprised if those plants are gone by monday…
    all of the newly gentrified neighborhoods around manhattan will be hit hard in the coming real estate crash. good luck to all.

  50. Posted by Anal_yst | November 20, 2008 at 5:23 PM

    @45
    dollar cost averaging?
    I honestly don’t know wtf else besides hubris and pride it could be

  51. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 5:31 PM

    The prince guy made his reputation by investing in Citicorp when they were effectively insolvent during the early 1990′s banking crisis. It’s pretty much the only investment he’s ever made that was of any note. I guess he’s either going to repeat that triumph or go down in flames trying. I think we all know which one it will be.

  52. Posted by Investorcluzo | November 20, 2008 at 5:44 PM

    @53 – classic one trick pony…remember, the market can stay irrational (and I’m not saying it is in this case) longer than you can stay solvent. the fresh prince is no exception!

  53. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 5:53 PM

    @26 and @31, I think all the rules have changed. Pretty sure the $5 dollar stock rule for pensions is out the window. There are 101 stocks in the S&P 500 trading under $10, and 1/3 of the stocks in the S&P 500 don’t even meet S&P 500 standards for min market cap.

  54. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 6:14 PM

    @55
    Did you say there were 101 stocks in the S&P 500 trading under $10, and 1/3 of the stocks in the S&P 500 don’t meet S&P 500 standards for min market cap?!

  55. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 6:20 PM

    John Reed please call home.

  56. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 7:39 PM

    The quote is too earily familer from Wachovia just 6 weeks prior. Shiti is on its way down for good. The FDIC failed to deliver golden egg to Shiti back then ….

  57. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 7:54 PM

    i work in Citi’s GWM…. fuk you I Bankers for screwing this shit up for all of us

  58. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 9:39 PM

    Fuck it. Marines here I come.

  59. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 9:50 PM

    56, that’s correct. The S&P would do something, except who are they going to put in?
    Shiti trying to merge (yeah, right):
    http://www.cnbc.com/id/27829103

  60. Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 9:52 PM

    @59, got any hot stock tips for me?
    Now run along and sell my grandmother some annuities.

  61. Posted by guest | November 21, 2008 at 5:22 AM

    CNBC Asia: Citi in advanced talks with Goldman

  62. Posted by guest | April 5, 2009 at 4:06 PM

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