Citi: We'll Get You Bitches To Quit If It's The Last Thing We Do

Posted by Bess Levin, Nov 20, 2008, 4:08pm

To: *IB NA Business Managers

Subject: New Expenses Policy - Nov 20, 2008

Please note that there was a new Citigroup Expense Management Policy
published today which is located on CIBIX.

Items of note and effective immediately are:

1) Late working (OT) car and taxi service has been moved to 10pm

2) Employee celebratory events and holiday parties are non-reimbursable

3) All Non Revenue Generating Travel requires pre trip approval by an
exception approver

4) Spousal Travel is non-reimbursable

Show of hands, who wants to get laid off now? As an aside, there are unhealthy levels of jealousy coursing through my body directed at the lucky bastard with the title of "Exception Approver," a job I'm pretty sure I could go to town on. "No. No. No. No. No. Maybe... No...No...No...what are you going to do for it? No...No...No....ye-No...No...No...dance for me..no."

4Recommend this! 36Comments

Comments

1

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 4:20PM

You get to work in spiked boots if the are the exception provider...

2

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 4:25PM

Way to save on that 1.2 months of severance...

3

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 4:31PM

if you take HR on the overnight, can you still submit for reimbursement? And do you need to ask her to submit -- or is the Four Seasons submission automatic?

4

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 4:32PM

Damn, it feels good to be an Exception Approver!

5

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 4:33PM

John Q. Analyst - "Hey buddy, can you leave the time blank on that receipt, please?"

Driver - "What time you need?"

John Q. Analyst - "Oh, 11 o'clock would be great, thanks so much"

6

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 4:38PM

bess, if those changes would get anyone to quit... they better not expect to find work out in the real world.

7

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 4:38PM

I bet expense reports are hard to read in black and white on double-sided paper.

8

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 4:43PM

Deck chair re-arranging on Titanic

9

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 4:47PM

haha @8 - Love the Titanic analogy

10

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 4:49PM

@5 spot-on! and on the way do you mind picking up a couple of my buddies in meatpacking dist

11

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 4:50PM

haha @8 - Love the Titanic analogy

12

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 4:57PM

The Over/Under on Pandit's survival at C is February 15th. The wager window is open.

13

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 4:58PM

Some more gems from the Citigroup Expense Management Policy published on CIBIX:

* You can only use 4 sheet of toilet paper per poop, unless you have a real messy bowel movement that is approved by an exception approver.

* If its yellow, let it mellow. If its brown, flush it down.

* Printing must be done on the four edges of paper in black and white in addition to both sides.

* If you visit a client or happen to be in a resaurant, please take as much sugar, Splenda, salt, pepper, ketchup as you can fit in your personal baggage. The booty should be turned into an MD for distribution.

Tank you berry berry much,

Virkam P.


14

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 5:12PM

Hey 13. Papadum.

15

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 5:13PM

Hey 13. Papadum.

16

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 5:14PM

Hey 13. Papadum.

17

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 5:15PM

The exception approver must get a lot of tail from play-to-pay efforts...

18

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 5:16PM

Piss in a cup at your desk. Improves productivity and saves water.

19

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 5:40PM

I just checked with the exception approver.

Spousal Travel is non-reimbursable, but they will continue to reimburse for Mistress Travel.

20

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 5:58PM

C is the new Bear

21

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 6:01PM

Electricity will be generated by pedaling quickly on a bicycle which will be attached to a light bulb. Saves on Gym membership too

22

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 6:01PM

Electricity will be generated by pedaling quickly on a bicycle which will be attached to a light bulb. Saves on Gym membership too

23

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 6:04PM

Citi won't hit bottom until the axe the "exception approver" position. If they have the luxury of granting exceptions they have too much money.

NO EXCEPTIONS!

24

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 6:10PM

heard 30% of TMT ib was axed ... no first years though

25

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 6:16PM

And you guys really wonder why guns are outlawed from NY? Bang! Bang! Bang!

26

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 8:29PM

WTF...they used to reimburse spousal travel??????

27

Posted by guest, Nov 20, 2008 10:41PM

" Executives at Citigroup Inc., faced with a plunging stock price, began weighing the possibility of auctioning off pieces of the financial giant or even selling the company outright, according to people familiar with the matter.

The internal discussions are at a preliminary stage and don't signal that Citigroup's board and management are backing down from their insistence that the New York company has ample capital, funding and strategic direction, these people said. But with the stock down another 26% Thursday, its worst one-day percentage decline ever, Citigroup officials have decided they need to reckon with a range of scenarios that ..."

WSJ - 11/21/08

28

Posted by guest, Nov 21, 2008 2:33AM

WE NEED SANDY WEILL AND THE RED UMBRELLA STAT!

29

Posted by guest, Nov 21, 2008 4:33AM

Who could buy them thou... Probably only Goldies!!

You heard it here first GoldenCiti is formed!

30

Posted by guest, Nov 21, 2008 5:25AM

CNBC Asia: Citi in advanced talks with Goldman

31

Posted by guest, Nov 21, 2008 5:41AM

QuittiGroup

32

Posted by guest, Nov 21, 2008 8:10AM

Exception Approver....now that is a job growth area for the Street

33

Posted by guest, Nov 21, 2008 8:11AM

mandatory overtime till 1am is next, so they can shred all their documents before shitty goes bankrupt.

34

Posted by guest, Nov 21, 2008 8:34AM

Combined entity will be named Sachs and the Citi

35

Posted by guest, Nov 21, 2008 8:54AM

@34 Brilliant.

36

Posted by guest, Nov 21, 2008 9:17AM

GroupSachs?

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