• 24 Nov 2008 at 1:58 PM

Collateral Damage

Picture 246.pngI bet a lot of you who’ve lost your jobs or are expecting to lose your jobs and maybe your life’s savings and your kids’ college funds and any real reason to get out of bed in the morning think you’ve got it bad. Well dry your tears and get a little perspective you selfish bastards because there are people who are in a way worse place at the moment. People who have little to no prospects at all. People who don’t know where their next meal is going to come from. People who once legally fucked for money except now there is no money. The people I’m referring to, are gold diggers. Except guess what? There’s precious little gold to dig anymore (your fault, for being unemployed). Page Six Magazine did a little investigative research this weekend and found that ladies who once made a living off you have fallen on seriously hard times. On a Tuesday night in October, three single Slavs gathered at Bagatelle, one with a “plunging neckline,” one who “resembles Scarlett Johansson,” and one who, most attractively, “doesn’t speak English,” and no one approached them. Not even some fat but loaded slob. “It’s getting harder and harder to find a good man,” Sophie, 23, told reporter Joshua David Stein. “Everyone is looking for handsome, rich and charming men but there are less and less of them to go around.” Apparently since the whole financial apocolypse sitch started going down, “wealthy Prince Charmings, already an endangered species on the nightlife scene, have become almost completely extinct. The handsome ones aren’t charming, the charming ones aren’t handsome and many of the rich ones are now poor.”
Desperately Seeking Sugar Daddies [Page Six Magazine]

Comments (42)

  1. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 2:01 PM

    perspective, not prospective

  2. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 2:02 PM

    Ladies don’t worry. Just call 0900-PEBALLER. There is more than enough of me to go around so don’t be shy. That goes for you too, Bess!

  3. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 2:05 PM

    Eastern Euro women put NYC Ladies to shame in all categories

  4. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 2:08 PM

    Eastern European women are great, you just need to spend 3 months beating the blatant materialism out of them. Plus, they acquired their social skills by a lifetime of watching melrose place..

  5. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 2:09 PM

    @3 – especially STDs. Damn, some of them Ukrainians got the nastiest coochies on the planet

  6. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 2:12 PM

    let’s be honest here: Gold digger = whore. Sex and short term companionship in exchange for money and hard goods.

  7. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 2:14 PM

    Go to Somalia….

  8. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 2:16 PM

    The “Whispering Eye” of a gold digger should be handled with care.

  9. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 2:17 PM

    So their only hope is the poor, ugly and socially inept lepers who still go to these clubs? Time’s up Golddiggers! There’s a flight to Bahrain tonight at 9 and you can catch up with all of the ugly and socially inept Arabs who at least have the cash you are looking for – but don’t expect any bottle service over there

  10. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 2:19 PM

    @9 well, bottle service Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle style, maybe…

  11. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 2:19 PM

    i love gold diggers. I’m cheap as hell so they ususally dont get more out of me than a glass of tap water and when i’m done i feel great – a great fuck + no guilt whatsoever about making them leave my apt in the middle of the night with no cab fare

  12. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 2:22 PM

    Coochie futures are way, way down

  13. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 2:28 PM

    what are first year associate numbers? need to figure out how many bottles i can buy this weekend at 1oak

  14. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 2:31 PM

    Elliot S. is supposedly trolling with double-secret skim funds for bottle service, and will look for you girls at the Box tonight. Will be in black socks and no gloves, please.

  15. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 2:33 PM

    Even the Somali Pirates won’t touch these skanks!

  16. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 2:34 PM
  17. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 2:49 PM

    @ 8 – Nice Role Models reference.

  18. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 2:52 PM

    Bess finally posted a picture of herself on DB!!!

  19. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 3:05 PM

    i wonder what the stats are on bottle service at the nightspots these days compared to a year ago..

  20. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 3:06 PM

    Boats and hoes !!!!

  21. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 3:07 PM

    i wonder what the stats are on bottle service at the nightspots these days compared to a year ago..

  22. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 3:08 PM

    i wonder what the stats are on bottle service at the nightspots these days compared to a year ago..

  23. Posted by Anal_yst | November 24, 2008 at 3:09 PM

    @19
    Lagging indicator. Check back in 6-9 months and club closings will be a regular occurance.

  24. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 3:21 PM

    There’s still bottle service — it’s just Bud Light

  25. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 3:21 PM

    what are second year slav associate numbers?

  26. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 3:27 PM

    seriously..would any banker with a bit of sense actually marry a bulgarian chick?

  27. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 3:29 PM

    Fewer and fewer, not less and less.

  28. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 3:38 PM

    Did anyone else notice the comment this fruit left on the NY Post website?
    I got a slight laugh out of it…
    here:
    sergal wrote:
    I’d like inform you that Scarlett Johansson (actress)actually is a clone from original person,who has nothing with acting career.Clone was created illegally using stolen biomaterial.Original Scarlett Galabekian last name is nice, CHRISTIAN young lady.I’ll tell more,those clones(it’s not only 1)made in GERMANY-world leader manufacturer of humans clones,it’s in Ludwigshafen am Rhein,Rhineland-Palatinate,Mr.Helmut Kohl home town.You can’t even imaging the scale of the cloning activity.But warning,H.Kohl staff strictly controlling their clones spreading around the world,they’re NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled,be careful get close with clones you will be controlled too.Original family didn’t authorize any activity with stolen biomaterials,no matter what form it was created in,it’s all need to be back to original family control in Cedars-Sinai MedicalCenter in LA.Controlling clones is US military operation.Original Scarlett never was engaged,by the way
    11/24/2008 10:00 AM EST

  29. Posted by hawk99 | November 24, 2008 at 3:41 PM

    Eastern Europeans are Whoooores. They should at least go to ESL class if they want to stay in the country and serve as whores

  30. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 3:48 PM
  31. Posted by american bandersnatch | November 24, 2008 at 3:49 PM

    What does Eddie Lampert have to do with Eastern European gold diggers?

  32. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 3:59 PM

    my sympathy meter is stuck on 0.
    @28 – yes, I saw it. The author is probably sporting a tin-foil hat as well. Or perhaps it was TGFD using a pseudonym…

  33. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 4:18 PM

    Bimbos are commoditized, complete with real-time quotes.
    Short gold diggers, long call girls.

  34. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 4:49 PM

    I’m worth about mid-sevens but it’s all stable net equity. Not making a million a year, though (which seems to have been the going gold-digger “rate”).
    Any of you honeys want to negotiate?

  35. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 5:41 PM

    I am a first year associate, and I have a (barely) postive net worth. However I am still employed. Any of you stupid whores interested?

  36. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 7:40 PM

    Finally a decent pic of Bess. this is what we’ve been waiting for.

  37. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 8:17 PM

    nothing more amusing than a story about ‘hard times for whores’, except maybe when the whores start whining for *sympathy*. “it’s so unfair! guys still line up to take me to dinner, only now they won’t let me get lobster and truffles!”
    welcome to the real(er) world, whores. since you’re new at this, the first lesson’s free, m’kay? “NObody likes a complaining whore, so either STFU about your whorewhines, or go get a job like everybody else.”

  38. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 9:22 PM

    “seriously..would any banker with a bit of sense actually marry a bulgarian chick?”
    Absolutely not…they are happy with bloated chunky frumpy NYC/ann taylor chicks or asians……
    Supermodel looks are not fun.

  39. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 10:03 PM

    Attention bimbos:
    What’s your earning potential on your own?
    That’s what I thought.

  40. Posted by guest | November 25, 2008 at 5:49 AM

    Who is the girl in that pic?

  41. Posted by guest | November 25, 2008 at 4:58 PM

    @40– the pic is Meredith Whitney.

  42. Posted by guest | December 4, 2008 at 12:07 PM

    in general, eastern eauropean women look like whores (unless they are my mothers age, then they look like my uncle)

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