So, as you may be aware, the Big 3 (Shitty) car makers have been trying to convince Washington to give them a briefcase full of money, OR ELSE. The consequences, they say, will be unimaginably catastrophic, so just give it to us already god damn it, okay? But the smack addicts have been begging dealer Nancy for a hit for quite some time now and she hasn’t yet indicated she’ll kowtow to their pleas. So, aware that the old girl is playing hard ball, and desperate to stop the persistent itching, GM CEO Rick Wagoner brought out the big guns. In an interview with CNBC, Rick (short for Richard, long for Dick, short for Dick Fuld), regarding the matter of just letting the damn things die already, told Phil LeBeau, “Letting GM go is a terrible idea. Look at the effect of Lehman Brothers.”
That’s right, Washington– you’ll shut up and put the money in a bag or you’ll have one dead dog on your hands.
Related: More Collateral Damage From The Fall Of Lehman
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DIANE VON FURSTENBERG
Waaaahhhhh! You guys gave Wall Street all this FREE MONEY and now we want some!
Detroit
what a fcking loser… not our fault he runs a shitty business
So the government should offer a poorly performing, money losing company with high labor costs/debt and poor products(that even the US consumer doesn’t want) billions of dollars because…um…help me out with this part.
Any truth to what he’s saying? Not really sure what a fall of GM would do to the economy?
Jules Winnfield:
I don’t wanna hear about no mother-fu**ing ifs. All I wanna hear from your ass is, “You ain’t got no problems, Jules. I’m on the mother-fu**er. Go back in there, chill them n****rs out, and wait for the cavalry, which should be coming directly.”
Marsellus Wallace:
You ain’t got no problems, Jules. I’m on the mother-fu**er. Go back in there and chill them n****rs out, and wait for The Wolf who should be coming directly.
@5
the name at the top of the welfare check would read “U.S. govt” rather than “General Motors”
The new theory in corporate evolution seems to be survival of the unfittest.
Well, I say you either get it right or you get eliminated.
-GG
Well Obama? Weigh in on this one my Soul Brother
@ 6 Get Rich or Die Tryin???
@ 6 Is Obama aka “The Wolf”?
He’d be damned if any slopes were gonna put their greasy yellow hands on his boy’s birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something. His ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you
I don’t be ticklin or nothin…
I get aroused when Bess mentions dick
Here’s an interesting thought… The big three can cut the pays of the execs by 50-75% and cut the union workers pay by at least 25% (they’re all overpaid anyway).
Tie all future raises for everyone to the amount of profit generated (if any).
There, companies are saved..might actually post a profit now. Government doesn’t get involved.
I think Bloomberg uses a similar model when it comes to the sale of their beautiful terminals.
I enjoyed the splash graphics … watching GM’s price fall in real time from $4.15 to $4.12 during the interview.
It had the same mesmerizing effect as watching Hi-Def Color smart-bomb camera footage.
Here’s an interesting thought…why don’t we give all departing members of the GOP a voucher for a brand new Chevy Malibu.
This will happen simply because it will not only be a bailout of GM but a bailout of the UAW. How can a democratic politician who ever wants a chance of being reelected say no?
Here’s an interesting thought…why don’t you insert a brand new Chevy Malibu up your ass.
@17. Think green. Give them a Chevy Volt instead.
Damnit people. Think GREEN. Use a Chevy Volt instead.
Isn’t the UAW part of the problem in all this?
@4: “So the government should offer a poorly performing, money losing company with high labor costs/debt and poor products(that even the US consumer doesn’t want) billions of dollars because…um…help me out with this part.”
-Dude, your quote sounds exactly like Wall St. We bailed them out, right?
@6: hilarious!
@11: O is not “Mr.Wolf”. Rahm Emannuel is.
I just bought me a Chevrolet 3500 pickup. best damn truck i ever bought.
@6 PULP FICTION
@21
Why not just give em’ all Unicorns or magic carpets if you’re gonna talk about make-believe things?
Obama says let the UAW run the company. All unions to have absolute power by 2010!!! And less money for whitey, period.
@4: “So the government should offer a poorly performing, money losing company with high labor costs/debt and poor products(that even the US consumer doesn’t want) billions of dollars because…um…help me out with this part.”
@23-Dude, your quote sounds exactly like Wall St. We bailed them out, right?
@23 forgot to mention that Wall St. folks are crooks. At least the execs in Detroit are trying to sell a product with some value (even if it might not be 100% of face value). That should be worth a few stacks of bills from the feds.
This country is fucked up. It’s as broken as Spitzer’s dick. The political system is a fucking fraud, the economy is made up of mathematical pixie dust and a good chunk of the American people are fat, lazy communist pukes. Our business leaders rape their companies and our political leaders rape their constituents. Yet they both escape the wreckage with nary a scratch.
We should all be completely outraged by this situation but we aren’t. You know why? Because no one really gives a fuck anymore. We’d rather just go to a club, get fucked up and take home a trampy Sex and The City wannabe. Come to think of it, we deserve to be fucked sideways.
You can all kiss my ass.
@28 awesome
@19 Sounds like a plan. I need to pull Cheney off first as he’s been giving me a rim job all morning long. How do you think he gets that sh*t eating grin all the time.
If @28′s rant is not a buy signal, I dunno what is.
What about my extended warranty?
Also, I just put down a deposit to buy the Chevy Volt. Will I get that back?
I am a UAW member. What’s a hedge fund?
ST. PETERSBURG, Russia (AP) — U.S. car giant General Motors Corp. launched its first Russian assembly plant Friday, hoping that sales in this emerging market will bolster its staggering global performance.
GM executives basked in the praise of Russian authorities attending the opening of the $300 million, 70,000-car-a-year factory outside St. Petersburg, just hours before the world’s largest car maker announced it lost $2.5 billion in the third quarter and warned that it could run out of cash in 2009.
President Dmitry Medvedev thanked GM ‘’for all the work they have done’’ and described the new factory as a ‘’good investment project that looks into the future.’’
Do they still make the Pontiac Aztek?
Now that was some car!
Hi guys. I have an offer from a hedge fund. But during the interview, I get the creeps from the guy who is interviewing me, whom i believe is the head of my department. After the interview is over and as I make my way to the door, he came over hurriedly saying “let me” and he promptly brush his elbow against my chest and open the door, smiling ever so gleefully.
So i accept the job offer?
@27. 23 here. Naaah, they’re not crooks. Just playing the game, yo. That’s why no one does time.
No difference between them and Marlow and Barksdale fight’n for corners.
Don’t hate the player yo, hate the game.
@37 – depends, does he have a purrttyy mouth?
Hey 37 – unless you want to drop your pants on the first day, I’d wait until the BIG MAGICAL FUN-FILLED “Pink Slip Drinkin’ Party” happens next week. Supposedly, all of our troubles will be over if we attend this event, and they will also announce the cure for cancer!!!
#26 – I love that idea. Give the unions 100% of the company but no government money. Let them decide how much of a cut in compensation they are willing to take to stay in business. That would bring things into sharp focus.
the comments on this forum are hilarious… how/why are you wallstreet guys judging GM? it’s the credit crisis you put the country in that has tightened credit for auto loans, etc. go back to work, get fired and live off the unemployment benifits that obama gives you.
#37 here. I’m serious. Should i accept it? It’s the only offer i have.
If you need the job, than you need the job.
Ok #37 – just bend over and bring plenty of K-9.
FOR GOD’S SAKE ASSHOLE, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
@ 42
Are you completely retarded or just lost? GM (F, Chrysler) has (have) been completely F&CKED for decades!
What alternate reality (or message board) do you live in?
@37
I assume this is @ SAC? Just be prepared, I suggest starting small, maybe GAnalYst can give you some other helpful pointers if you’re literally willing to take it in the a$$ to further your career.
hey @37 – maybe you can sue the firm in a year’s time for sexual harassement and make some real dough. Is it worth losing your virginity, though?
@41: that’s been tried. It’s called United Airlines. Look into it. Didn’t help.
I LOVED Wagoner saying “unimaginable consequences” if GM goes bk. Bigger consequences than Lehman failing and a global financial meltdown? bwah ha ha. We’ve faced a lion. We’re not too scared by the housecat.
@42 you completely miss the point. Credit crisis or no credit crisis, GM and Chrysler make vehicles that NO ONE wants to buy. If you took away fleet sales they would never have made money even in good times.
Go away lib-tard.
even if you subsidize these 3 BIG,USELESS,SHITTY COMPANIES 50 billion a month, they still are going to ask another 50 billion / week. Why????????????????
The cars they made are for one time use only and be sure you have AAA.
do I need to bail out these company from the taxes i paid?
HELL NO!
after all the bail out money is being used to keep these workers employed NOT that they are going to build cars that can travel to moon and make a round trip to Venus to catch beautiful women.
did this shit invented station wagon? hence wagoner or wagyourtail or wa- goner.
did this shit invent station wagon? hence wagoner or wagyourtail or wa- goner.
dick…you are really off the grid…put aside your inflated self ego and realize that there is no systemic risk if your little company, dick, goes under.
Why does the U.S need GM? So the taxpayer can subsidize another generation of over-paid blue collar labor in Michigan and a dealer network too large for the product?
Can anyone honestly see the US leading the automotive world anymore? Without SUVs and pickup sales, the U.S. firms are dogshit.
Save the bailout money and offer retraining loans (loans not bailouts) to the workers.
if they filed for bankruptcy, there would be 2.5-3 million jobs lost (includes suppliers and dealers). The cars arent as lousy as they used to be, but unfortunately it will take years (if not decades) to change public perception.
Here is something to think about.
Our banks and out auto manufacturers have been laying off people and shipping their jobs offshore to put more money in their pockets.
Problem is, the money that our government used to bail them out was contributed by all of us as taxpayers.
In my opinion, now that the banks and auto manufacturers are on our doorstep, hat in hand, I believe we should let the people that were fired or laid off make the yes or no decision.
After all, it is their money, and mine and yours that is being handed to them.
By the way, the subprime mess and everything that has followed are only symptoms to the real problem, which is the offshoring of jobs.
Don’t think I’m right ?
Try reading some of the articles at http://www.KeepAmericaAtWork.com with an open mind and see what we are actually doing to our country.
Better yet, take a look at “The sky is falling” under the key concepts menu and see why things are going to get worse if we don’t stop the massive transfer of the wealth of democratic countries to nondemocratic countries.
Virgil
http://www.KeepAmericaAtWork.com
You east coast d-bags have no idea what’s going on outside of your bubble.
GM has made numerous advances to the company in the last half decade or so… no one could have predicted such an economic slow down. It doesn’t matter how great the cars (currently) are when no one is car shopping.
Saving a few million jobs in the Mid-west > Bailing out Wall Street scum bags who raped their companies
1.) Bail out the Big 3
2.) Nationalized health care