Harvard: 'Nothing Is Fucked, Dude'

Posted by Bess Levin, Nov 10, 2008, 5:10pm

From: Drew Faust To: undisclosed-recipients

Sent: 11/10/2008 2:41 PM

Subject: Harvard and the economy


To Harvard Faculty, Students, and Staff:


I write today about the global economic crisis and its implications for
us at Harvard.

We all know of the extraordinary turbulence still roiling the world's financial markets and the broader economy. The downturn is widely seen as the most serious in decades, and each day's headlines remind us that heightened volatility and persisting uncertainty have become our new economic reality.

For all the challenges such circumstances present, we are fortunate to
be part of an institution remarkable for its resilience. Over centuries,
Harvard has weathered many storms and sustained its strength through
difficult times. We have done so by staying true to our academic values
and our long-term ambitions, by carefully stewarding our resources and
thoughtfully adapting to change. We will do so again.

But we must recognize that Harvard is not invulnerable to the seismic
financial shocks in the larger world. Our own economic landscape has
been significantly altered. We will need to plan and act in ways that
reflect that reality, to assure that we continue to advance our
priorities for teaching, research, and service.

Our principal sources of revenue are all likely to be affected by these
new economic forces. Consider, first, the endowment. As a result of
strong returns and the generosity of our alumni and friends, endowment
income has come to fund more than a third of the University's annual
operating budget. Our investments have often outperformed familiar
market indexes, thanks to skillful management and broad diversification
across asset classes. But given the breadth and the depth of the present
downturn, even well-diversified portfolios are experiencing major
losses. Moody's, a leading financial research and ratings service,
recently projected a 30 percent decline in the value of college and
university endowments in the current fiscal year. While we can hope that
markets will improve, we need to be prepared to absorb unprecedented
endowment losses and plan for a period of greater financial constraint.

The economic downturn also puts pressure on other revenues that fuel our
annual budgets. Donors and foundations will be harder pressed to support
our activities. Federal grants and contracts for sponsored research will
be subject to the intensified stress on the federal budget. Tuition
remains an important source of revenue, but in times like these we want
to keep increases moderate, mindful that many students and families are
facing economic strain.

Over the past several weeks I have been meeting individually and
collectively with the deans of the faculties, as well as the
Corporation, to share ideas on how we can best respond to this changed
economic environment. We need to sustain our high academic ambitions at
the same time that we bring greater financial discipline to all our
activities. We have to think not just about what more we might wish to
do, but what we might do at a different pace or do without. Tradeoffs
and hard choices that can be avoided in times of plenty cannot be
averted now. And, given the ongoing volatility and uncertainty, we need
to plan and budget with a range of contingencies in view, including
scenarios for reducing our spending both this year and next.

As we plan, we must also affirm our strong commitment to financial aid
for our students. In Harvard College, that will mean carrying forward
our recent years' initiatives to make a Harvard education affordable for
outstanding students from low- and middle-income families. As before,
families with incomes below $60,000 will pay nothing to send a child to
Harvard College, and families with incomes up to $180,000 and typical
assets can expect to pay no more than approximately 10 percent of
income. Across our graduate and professional schools, we will maintain
financial aid budgets at least at their current levels -- and ensure
that our students still have access to needed loans, even though many
banks are making them less readily available.

We have long been dedicated to research and the discovery of new
knowledge across a wide range of fields of scientific and humanistic
inquiry. In recent years we have made significant investments toward
breaking down intellectual barriers across disciplines and across
Schools to generate new knowledge and to develop new courses and
educational opportunities for our students. These commitments must
continue to guide us as we make decisions and choices in a significantly
more constrained fiscal environment.


Harvard values its reputation as a stable and supportive employer, and
we view our workforce as a critical part of all we do. We recognize as
well the responsibility that comes with being one of the largest
employers in the commonwealth of Massachusetts. At the same time,
changing financial realities will require us to look carefully at
compensation costs, which account for nearly half the University's
budget.

We are assessing all aspects of our ambitious capital planning program,
including the phasing and development of our campus in Allston.

We are working with administrative and financial deans from across the
University to develop new approaches for generating both savings and new
revenue sources, building on the ideas and best practices of each of the
Schools.

Harvard is a famously decentralized place, and one size will not fit
all. Each School will face its own particular challenges. But we must at
the same time join together to address these new circumstances with
creativity and a spirit of common enterprise.


Today, perhaps as never before, we need to work collectively to develop
approaches and efficiencies that will allow every part of Harvard to
thrive in the years to come. Together, we must continue to advance the
priorities that define us.

For all that has changed in recent weeks, we remain devoted to
attracting the very best students, faculty, and staff to Harvard. We
will undertake the daily work of education and scholarship with the same
intensity and imagination. We will set our academic sights just as high,
and we will ensure that the ambitions and vibrancy of our community and
the strength of its commitment to the pursuit of truth remain
unsurpassed.


Drew Faust

0Recommend this! 60Comments

Comments

1

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:16PM

Too long, didn't read (first, sham-wow, and mayo).

2

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:18PM

First!

3

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:18PM

and let the toos begin

4

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:21PM

like oh, sure 3 went to harvard.

5

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:26PM

#4...very well placed "Trading Places" reference. Well done!

6

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:27PM

so what else is new?

7

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:27PM

Too Harvard Didn't Read

8

Posted by VOL IS KING, Nov 10, 2008 5:28PM

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!


Looks like Dr. Faust made an unholy pact with Mr. Market. Maybe to calm his nerves he should pour himself a glass of a nice marlowe while he rides out this "extraordinary turbulence".

Oh, and maybe hire Roubini to take over the Econ department.

blahahahahahaha ha!

9

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:30PM

Oh its a fucking Swiss watch Walter!

10

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:32PM

Was anything at all of substance said in that meandering piece of corporate/university propaganda?

11

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:34PM

i hope all the crybabies (professors) who complained about jack meyer's pay are happy. isn't convexity killing it this year? now they have to sell their investments in blackstone and KKR funds for 40 cents.

12

Posted by NAS Keflavik boi, Nov 10, 2008 5:35PM

zuviel Goethische
habt nicht gelehst!

13

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:40PM

Fuck 'em.

14

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:40PM

I wonder how Harvard's school/dept of islamic studies is doing. Plenty of cash coming in from the middle-east moslems? How about from iran? Is there any shortage of those f'n towels they wear on their heads? Tell us, Faust.

The Guy from Delaware

15

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:41PM

Harvard, the rest of the Ivy League, and private educational institutions in general have been the crack whores of the Great Credit Bubble, spending everyone's cash with absolutely no eye toward the future at all.

They better hope that education remains the new religion of America; otherwise their crash landing will be epic.

16

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:43PM

empty talk, published by an idiot.

money talks.

17

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:44PM

This was a long post. Here's the gist of the letter:

"The purpose of this letter is to remind you how great Harvard is. You're soon going to learn how bad our endowment is doing - In short, things are fucked up. We're hemorrhaging money because we gave it to a bunch of undeserving alumni who ran their respective hedge, PE, and VC funds into the ground. Naturally, none of these colossal failures detract in any way from our overall greatness.

Please advise if any recent HBS grads understand how to read a balance sheet. We're having the damnedest time trying to find anyone around here who knows the first thing about finance.

..and, contrary to our best interests, we absolutely refuse to bring someone from Wharton or Chicago in to clean this shit-hole up.

In the meantime, please keep up the self-felating, unearned arrogant smugness that typifies Harvard types."

18

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:47PM

ah yes number 13, That's your answer! Tattoo it on your forehead! Your answer to everything! Your "revolution" is over, Mr. 13! Condolences! The bums lost!

19

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:47PM

@10 - On a word, "No"

20

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:47PM

@10 - In a word, "No"

21

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:47PM

Are the students at Harvard's school/dept of islamic studies learning anything besides how to undermine/destroy the West? Tell us that too, Faust. You f'n clown.

The Guy from Delaware

p.s. TGFD is in his anti-moslamic mode.

22

Posted by VOL IS KING, Nov 10, 2008 5:50PM

P.S.

This is sweet (ahem) redemption for forcing out Larry Summers.

23

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:53PM

Keflavik@#12...

Translate, please. TGFD does not read what appears to be German.

The Guy from Delaware

24

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:57PM

@18...LOL!

I'll tell you what I'm blathering about... I've got information man! New shit has come to light! And shit... man, Harvard fucked herself. Well sure, man. Look at it... a young trophy college, in the parlance of our times, you know, and she, uh, uh, owes money all over town, including to known pornographers, and that's cool... that's, that's cool, I'm, I'm saying, she needs money, man. And of course they're going to say that they didn't get it, because... she wants more, man! She's got to feed the monkey, I mean uh... hasn't that ever occurred to you, man? Sir?

25

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:58PM

Dartmouth:
http://thedartmouth.com/2008/11/10/news/endowment/

26

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 5:59PM

@12...i told that fucking kraut down at the league office...


Mr. Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town. You don't draw shit, Lebowski. Now we got a nice, quiet little beach community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don't like you sucking around, bothering our citizens, Lebowski. I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?

27

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 6:06PM

Nothing is fucked?! The God damn plane has crashed into the mountain!

28

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 6:10PM

Harvard needs to cut the fat they've put on over the years (i.e. ethnic studies, chicano studies, islamic studies and the other useless majors that do not contribute at all to a productive society.

29

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 6:15PM

apparently they have already spoken with gasbarino to play the lead in the downfall of Atticas Capital.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYl9nNIoz8o

30

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 6:15PM

You know the dude was part of the Seattle 7 - it was him and six other guys.

31

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 6:18PM

@28

thankfully, they won't have to cut any business ethics courses.

32

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 6:22PM

17-

That was an excellent recap.

33

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 6:27PM

#17...thank you, thank you! The "self-felating" comment made me spew Coca-cola through my nose.

34

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 6:27PM

if you can't dazzle them brilliance, ...

35

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 6:28PM

@17

Hey which business school did you go to?
Me? Oh you know, I went to a school in Boston. MIT? Oh no. I went to Harvard.

36

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 6:35PM

Harvard grads posting on Dealbreaker? Ha! You get tired of straddling naked over a mirror to gaze at your asshole?

37

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 6:52PM

Did Muffy get hired to handle Harvard's endowment?

38

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 7:15PM

@37 Actually even Muffie couldn't have screwed up any worse than the current bunch.

39

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 8:25PM

Hey "Guy from Delaware"....

Drew Faust is a woman. You illiterate uncultured sack of shit.

40

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 9:49PM

Was anybody awake and noticed in the late 90's... that new career field of "Risk Management"?

It went something like this:


"We can use actuary science to predict everything!!!"


(unless you're AIG)

41

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 9:54PM

hope those little punks in adams house starve...

42

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 10:25PM

Thank you 39. I was begging to hear it.

43

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 10:39PM

The interest on $36 billion is enough to run Harvard.

This'd never happen if Larry Summers was still alive.

Bitch.

44

Posted by I am a Dude, Nov 10, 2008 11:11PM

"Over centuries, Harvard has weathered many storms"
reminds of dick fuld kept saying "lehman has been around for over 150 yrs and nothing will bring it down"

45

Posted by guest, Nov 10, 2008 11:38PM

Academia- not just Harvard- has been a bubble too. No focus on teaching or doing relevant stuff but developing subprime products.

46

Posted by guest, Nov 11, 2008 12:40AM

Somewhere El Arian says "Whew!"

47

Posted by guest, Nov 11, 2008 7:27AM

TGFD you assclown dont you get tired of being told off, cursed at, shit on here on db everyday? It seems you enjoy the abuse..

48

Posted by guest, Nov 11, 2008 7:58AM

......he forgot to mention that at least half of the past corporate misdeeds and current credit crisis was the direct result of their former alumni's actions some degree......the reason you never hear community college graduates f-ing up so much is that they are either too dumb to do it, or never get the opportunity...go Harvard!

49

Posted by guest, Nov 11, 2008 8:43AM

I, for one, am thrilled at the shitty year that these endowments are having. It's about time someone put a stop to this "Be Like Harvard & Yale" marketing machine. Harvard & Yale don't pay 2/20, bitches.

50

Posted by Bugs Meany, Nov 11, 2008 10:20AM

How much less would college cost if they eliminated any bullshit department that wasn't around in 1950? (Computer science stays because it's an offshoot of math and engineering.) Not just that, but Western civilization might actually survive if our best and brightest didn't spend 4 years learning to despise it.

51

Posted by guest, Nov 11, 2008 10:42AM

too much Goethi do not have gel elevator control!

52

Posted by guest, Nov 11, 2008 11:00AM

Luckily the Harvard investment office is adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug regimen, to keep their minds limber. Maybe they'll all get fired and become roadies for Metallica.

53

Posted by guest, Nov 11, 2008 11:22AM

Didn't the guy who wrote this also write "Horton Hears a Hoo"?

54

Posted by guest, Nov 11, 2008 11:26AM

NOTHING IS FUCKED? The GOD DAMN ECONOMY HAS CRASHED INTO MOUNTAIN!

55

Posted by guest, Nov 11, 2008 11:29AM

DipShit@#39...

"Hey "Guy from Delaware".... Drew Faust is a woman. You illiterate uncultured sack of shit."

Tell me, DipShit, where in either of TGFD's two posts on this thread did I make any reference to Faust's gender?

@#47...

Tell me, did you wait all nite to make your comment. I'm glad TGFD was on your mind.

The Guy from Delaware


56

Posted by guest, Nov 11, 2008 12:39PM

TGFD looked up some online photos of Drew Faust, and I must say that she has a certain sexy, librarian look that I often find appealing. She's also a bit older than TGFD, and that adds to her acceptability.

I'm disappointed that no photos of her legs were available because TGFD is most certainly a leg man. I discuss this preference of mine in my "Treatise on Women", a work that is still in progress.

Putting her politics aside, and assuming she's not a committed dike, TGFD would probably take an interest in, and maybe even make a play for Ms. Faust if I were presented that opportunity. I have no doubt that she would find TGFD nearly irresistible once she experienced my teddy-bear charms, and once TGFD shaved her pussy for her, she would no doubt melt. Who knows? Maybe her pussy is already shaved.

TGFD likes most women. They're all good, though.

The Guy from Delaware

57

Posted by guest, Nov 11, 2008 1:44PM

harvard sucks and princeton doesn't matter

58

Posted by guest, Nov 11, 2008 1:48PM

Dr. Faust is out of his element. He's like a child that wanders into the middle of a movie and... dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature; Asian-American please.

59

Posted by guest, Nov 11, 2008 6:05PM

I nominate #17 & #36 for the hall o' fame. Brilliant!

60

Posted by TALUFA, Nov 14, 2008 1:11PM

Eh, TGFD. I got a bear named Geddy, bra. You want I can go get her and you can have a round of fun? She's real gentle unless you try to go all "dances with wolves"...then she gets all grizzly an' shit. She had a bad experience at Jamba Juice in Stamford.

Talufa

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