Laid Off Watch: AQR

1

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 5:09PM

"less ass bleeding days" LOL.

Bess, you're a poet.

2

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 5:09PM

Adios Quick Returns!

3

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 5:09PM

Well done-We need some secretary stories on DB

4

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 5:10PM

Adios Quick Returns!

5

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 5:11PM

OBABMA SAVE US!

6

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 5:12PM

The only way this could have been better would be as a haiku

7

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 5:13PM

It's dirt nap, not dirty nap.

8

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 5:17PM

Hard to take a dirt nap without getting dirty, but you still get an F

9

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 5:17PM

I wonder if BL talks like a sailor IRL, or if it's all just a ruse to amuse finance nerds.

10

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 5:20PM

"dirt nap" is right in most circumstances, but hell, if your ass is bleeding, its probably gonna be a bit "dirty" as well

11

Posted by Bess Levin , Nov 12, 2008 5:21PM

It was a typo, but thanks for the concern and the unsolicited grade.

12

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 5:22PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2hnw22MZwg

13

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 5:34PM

remember those black and white photos from the crash of 1929. It's that bad. Can you imagine coming out of law or business school 75k to 150k in debt in this shit market?

Yes, yes we can.

http://endofesq.com/?p=507

14

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 5:37PM

Save me Jevus! Save us Obamamama!

15

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 5:40PM

"Well done-We need some secretary stories on DB"

I'm an AA for high level execs at a bank but I don't have any stories to tell except that the job requires more skills than people realize. I can't tell anyone what happens at our bank anyway because we're not allowed to tell people about bank processes or decisions even after we leave the company.

Also they don't call us "secretaries" anymore, try to remember that.

16

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 5:47PM

Bake me a pie.

17

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 5:49PM

was this secretary hot? my unemployed ass can use some play

18

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 5:51PM

Stop playing online solitaire and get me some coffee already.

19

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 5:52PM

@15?!
I am a trashman for TARP LLC and despite the NDA, non compete (and recently non-solicits) i had to sign, i still know how to anonymously scan and send the top secret trillion dollar demands from GM, GMAC, AXP, GS, SEARS, STARBUX, ZALES etc. to dealbreaker and other interested parties.

Also, dude, trashman is not the preferred nomenclature. Garbage American please.

20

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 5:55PM

What is wrong with you people? Why are you all so happy with other people's pain? You're all a bunch of misanthropic wannabes. Enjoy your squalor.

21

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 6:01PM

If I was a "secretary" working at the Treasury department right now I would be making copies of everything before Paulson shreds it all. Although if Summers gets the job women probably won't be doing anything except answering phones because we're not good a math and numbers.

And nobody here should be insulting us considering the fact that you will probably be applying for our jobs soon.

22

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 6:05PM

What are 1st year Associate numbers?

23

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 6:09PM

I guess the black box didn't work. These guys were really smug last summer when they were down 13% at the beginning of the month and chose not to delever like some other quant funds, and they wound up close to flat by the end of the month. Apparently didn't learn anything from that experience. They have a lot of long-only assets as well ...

Just like KKR, they waited a tad too long for the IPO. Now they're DOA.

24

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 6:09PM

@15 my bad. I meant sluts

25

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 6:10PM

#22 wins the thread

26

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 6:11PM

Bess, you once again have it backwards. You don't fire the secretary who knows where the bodies are buried, you promote her and buy her a villa in the south of france. Get a real reporting job, like for the high school newspaper or even worse, the NY times.

27

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 6:14PM

#24 - You must be confused, this discussion is about Administrative Assistants, not your wife. I understand why you're angry but keep your issues out of it.

Sincereley,

Administrative Assistant

28

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 6:15PM

23, what do you do for a living? Have you mastered "do you want fries with that" yet?

29

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 6:18PM

where is AQR's assets under management now? Isn't it in billions? So why all this DOA talk?

Must be all the bitter laid off backoffice people causing trouble here. It's almost time for your devry classes losers. Get off your computer and go your nightschool

30

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 6:22PM

@24 oh you silly retarded bitch. Go make arrangements for birthday cake and order me a pen. See, this is exactly what happens when you let women out of the home.

31

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 6:22PM

I think they must be half of what they were last year based on the market and their returns. I would guess 15 or 20 billion.

32

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 6:24PM

@28,

I work for a large state pension fund. I allocate capital to alternative investments and try to avoid funds like where you work you arrogant prick.

33

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 6:24PM

Bess Levin, can you post a picture of yourself? My guess is you are a cross between Roseanne Barr and Hugo Chavez. But that is kind of hot actually.

34

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 6:32PM

surprise, surprise... back in Pulvino's KSM days, I helped him (as an undergrad) daytrade using Bridgestation. then kabiller came to interview undergrads, talking mostly about his effing tennis scholarship... you got the feeling that everyone was just a "His Ass-ness" sycophant..

35

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 7:23PM

@ 33

BL is actually really hot.

Just b/c it made me laugh when I was 10 and I first heard it from my grandfather:

"Give a woman an inch, and she thinks she's a ruler"

36

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 7:31PM

@23 - i LOVE the fact that you are taking confidential information and airing it anonymously on this website to make yourself look cool.

@15 - when you are done polishing my knob you can go get your shine box. Then - tighten up that bush! I didnt hire you because i wanted to see a raccoon between your legs. and another thing - the "skills" AAs need are more than people expect because we didnt realize you could chew gum and make dinner reservations at the same time.

37

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 7:42PM

AQR is an absolute disaster.

Their marketing mantra was "We are long the crisis"...which worked until there was a crisis

38

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 7:42PM

AQR is an absolute disaster.

Their marketing mantra was "We are long the crisis"...which worked until there was a crisis

39

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 8:11PM

I'm really fucking smart. Like 150 iq smart with street sense smart.

But I'm confused.

Can someone please explain to me why lehman brothers was one of the top corporate donors to the Obama campaign?

40

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 8:51PM

@33, see http://gawker.com/tag/bess-levin/

41

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 8:54PM

"Can someone please explain to me why lehman brothers was one of the top corporate donors to the Obama campaign?"

I believe GS was the top corporate donor to his campaign although it's difficult to know who actually donated the most to his campaign because they refuse to give the the government the names of all their donors but that is probably a good idea considering they intentionally turned off the software that prevents credit card scams but at least the government is now insisting that McCain's campaign provide them with the names of all their donors but not Obama because he is "special" and deserves "special" treatment - this is a "historic" election and we don't want to ruin it by asking for the names of all his foreign donors.

I didn't support either candidate and I don't believe Obama is a terrorist but I'm actually starting to worry - not because he is a terrorist but because those foreign donors might try to influence his decisions and they can threaten to tell people about their campaign donations if he doesn't do what they ask.

We invaded Iraq without justification - many people are angry at us. Our new president did business with someone who has made many trips to the middle east over the past few years and received money from Auchi to purchase the land next to his home. We have a president who won't tell us who his donors are. His first priority right now is releasing "innocent" people from Guantanamo Bay and giving the other people fair trials.

All we can do is hope that those people only want to influence our foreign policy to make it more fair and they're not planning anything worse than that because our government obviously isn't going to help us.

42

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 9:09PM

Bess, you are a dirty, dirty girl.

43

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 9:15PM

@41, they haven't released the names for a lot of the money the campaign raised because you're not required to report donations <$200. The only reason people have managed to cook up this "controversy" is that Obama raised more money from <$200 donors than any candidate in history. So it's a big chunk of cash from like a million people, and if the law doesn't require you to disclose those names, why go through the headache? Plus, expats aren't really "foreign" donors.

On the other point... every respectable politician has been talking about the need to settle the legal limbo at Gitmo and close that place down for 3 years.

44

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 9:36PM

I realize that they're not "required" to report the names but we just elected someone who refuses to talk about his life when he was in college, refuses to give names of people he associated with back then, won't release his transcripts, won't release his thesis, won't release his complete medical records, apparently wasn't involved with any women prior to Michelle or won't let them talk to us and wouldn't let reporters ask him questions unless he knew what they were. That is alot of information that we're not allowed to have yet he wants us to have faith in him to be our leader.

I realize he isn't "required" to release the names but I would feel better if he gave us those names anyway - just to show us that he believes all the donations are legal. He just asked us to elect him to the most powerful job in the world - I don't think it's asking too much to know the names of his donors. They're asking us for billions to save the auto industry so people wouldn'y mind spending a few million to have people go through all his contributions and I realize it will take time but we're willing to wait for it.

If it was just one thing I wouldn't care but there are so many things with him - not talking about his life in college, not releasing transcripts or medical records, not letting anyone talk to people he knew, not telling us the names of his donors, doing business with someone who had Auchi wire him money just so he could have a fancy home.

45

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 9:39PM

@40 there's no picture of bess in that article. read much?

46

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 9:50PM

What's the name of Obama's drug dealer that he talks about in his book? Has anybody heard from him?

47

Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 9:50PM

What's the name of Obama's drug dealer that he talks about in his book? Has anybody heard from him?

48

Posted by dorothy , Nov 12, 2008 10:35PM