Cuts at Bearpont Morgan Mutual started late yesterday in equities and are continuing today with research being hit particularly hard. Sales and trading are supposedly being shown the door circa now. Apparently “at least” ten to fifteen percent of IB is expected to be affected, with deeper cuts in certain groups.
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
What type of boots is HR wearing?
What are first year associate numbers?
@2, you’re kidding right?
@1,2 ha.
perfect start. thanks.
@3 no. I’m sure that was a serious comment.
@3, I never joke about bonuses. When the JPM recruiter who hired me came to HBS, he said there would be bonuses! Gimme gimme gimme!
I need the money to buy a bottle to get my wideclops gf into Tenjune tonight. Doorman keeps assuming she’s a dude or a fish.
are sun spots affectingpeople’s sarcasm detectors this morning or something?
I am a WaMu bank teller. What is JPMorgan?
if a wideclops with fuck me boots from hr walks turns out to stand tight behind you while you have her facebook page on one screen while commenting on how gnarly she is on DB on the other screen, is that a bad thing?
Equities in Dallas blown up by wideclops…
Hate to ask, but can you define what a “wideclops” is? Need to insure I can recognize one when I see one – thanks
@1…nice….
if a wideclops with fuck me boots from hr turns out to stand right behind you while you have her facebook page open on one screen while commenting on how gnarly she is on DB on the other screen, is that a bad thing?
sorry for 9, hadn’t had coffee yet
WTF are wideclops?
~Veteran Trader
Ditto @ 14
Energy IB will be hit hard.
All you “wideclops” questioners – go read the “Morgan Stanley” post/comments from yesterday.
Yahoo just dropped a bomb.
http://biz.yahoo.com/ap/081120/economy.html
But are wideclops and cankles mutually exclusive?
-MoneygripWisdom
wideclops-A girl whose eyes are too far apart
OK…I googled it. “Eyes too wide apart.” As opposed to cyclops I suppose. I was thinking it was those square toed shoes. Now, back to watching hedge fund traders sweat.
@14…her eyes are far apart enough where you cannot look her in both eyes at the same time.
Please see links to pictures above.
Thank you,
Wideclop Special Opportunities, LP
So now that I just got laid off and am no longer restricted from online brokerage accounts. What is the best brokerage to use? Nothing huge, like 50k to play with.
Any word on what groups are being hit hardest in JPM?
Too wideclop, couldn’t read…
my two questions (as opposed to $0.02):
anyone else a little concerned that mark haines is talking about “penetrating hogan’s bottom”?
@8 – shouldn’t it be: “I’m a bear sterns banker, what is jpmorgan?”
@22, thinkorswim
Since the human field of vision is about 10%, which eye should I be looking at when talking to wideclops?
To the wideclops guy from y’day…you sir are a legend.
@22 use zecco
zecco.com
10 free trades a month. and you need $2,500 minimum balance.
Type “vikram” in the special offers box for 50% discount on citi.
Interactive Brokers. Tom Petterfy is da man.
@6, outstanding.
I need the money to buy a bottle to get my wideclops gf into Tenjune tonight. Doorman keeps assuming she’s a dude or a fish.
i mean pure gold. keep chasing the dream.
@22
try igindex.co.uk
its spread betting company so u dont have to pay capital gain taxes
if anyone sees wideclops, tell her i’m having a hell of a time trying to view wsj, bloomberg, etc.
my shit’s on the fritz, faggot soundman sabotaging shit
any legacy Bear people left in IB will be the first to go. LIFO…should have all been sh!tcanned to begin with anyway.
strong comments on this. fine work this morning people
Well this is great news. I interviewed 3 weeks ago with JPM and had been sending follow up emails etc. Looks like even that is fucked. Fuck me.
-Jobless Dealbreaker
@34 – sounds like you’re bitter about something… been out of work since the ‘merger’?
All the guys I interviewed with were ex-Bear. It sounded like Bear had taken over a lot of S&T.
-Jobless Dealbreaker
@28…thank you. I call’em like I see’em.
what is a job for?
sheikh wannafukmariatwiceinmyplane
@29. What good is a 50% discount on C? When it goes to $0, you still lose 100% of your money.
@37, you sound worried, any chance you may be part of the aforementioned ten to fifteen percent?
What happened to the MS post yesterday…?
When i left, it was descending into prudishness, holier than thou, and such.
I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is more CFM boots. Seriously, someone must have the goods on what’s going on at JPM today. Anyone??
Today was a cleaning out of former BSC employees in equities. “first class firings, in a first class way.”
I’ve often thought of becoming a golf club.
THe second one is up and still going…though the prudes (i.e. HR bitches) are spouting off for now…dumb cunts.
@3 Seeing as you have no color on dealbreaker or its ingenius commenters, please leave; but seriously, what are 2nd year associate numbers?
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=aM0sF63PMJN0&refer=home
3000 heads rolling…all Bear
@ 48 – maybe it’s all bear in your retail banking division, but i assure you that jpm (unfortunately) shows very little favoritism
Any JPM chicks with bra size between 34C and 36DD who would like to help relieve my stress with their various body cavities are invited to leave an application on jpmalumni.com
@41..very good math. Whered you graduate guam community college?
cmon man cant you take a joke?
-@29
You are all losers. All of you. And feel free to deduce that I too must be a loser to post here. Because I am. But so are all of you.
I heard that these guys that work a JPM in I-banking get to bone their ex’s on co-workers desk and get blacked out at TJ phoneless
I heard that these guys that work a JPM in I-banking get to bone their ex’s on co-workers desk and get blacked out at TJ phoneless… Now is that really someone you want working on your Media deal…
I heard that these guys that work a JPM in I-banking get to bone their ex’s on co-workers desk and get blacked out at TJ and loose their eye phones. And dress with White hens on black T’s Now is that really someone you want working on your Media deal…
The layoffs are unlikely to be former Bear staff. Most everyone they wanted to get rid of, they gid rid of with the merger, plus a bunch more who left on their own. And the Bear severance package still applies for up to 1 year from the date of the merger agreement in March. Every day that goes by since March 17th increases the $$$ they have to pay out in both pro-rata bonuses (based on the 2007 bear bonuses) plus 1 extra week of salary for every week worked since march 17th, plus whatever severance you are entitled to based on your years with the firm.
@ 53-56…Wells Fargo IBD?
@ 16, where did you hear about IB Energy being in line for a big hit?
@ 16, where did you hear about IB Energy being in line for a big hit?
@ 57 – are you sure about that? Where was it written that the Bear severance package would apply for one year even if you were retained by JPM for a role? I was retained and will likely be cut. In which document was it stated that the package would apply even after we accepted a JPM role? Thanks…
@ 57 – are you sure about that? Where was it written that the Bear severance package would apply for one year even if you were retained by JPM for a role? I was retained and will likely be cut. In which document was it stated that the package would apply even after we accepted a JPM role? Thanks…