Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:09AM

What are first year associate numbers?

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:09AM

@2, you're kidding right?

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:10AM

@1,2 ha.

perfect start. thanks.

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:12AM

@3, I never joke about bonuses. When the JPM recruiter who hired me came to HBS, he said there would be bonuses! Gimme gimme gimme!

I need the money to buy a bottle to get my wideclops gf into Tenjune tonight. Doorman keeps assuming she's a dude or a fish.

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:13AM

are sun spots affectingpeople's sarcasm detectors this morning or something?

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:14AM

I am a WaMu bank teller. What is JPMorgan?

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:15AM

if a wideclops with fuck me boots from hr walks turns out to stand tight behind you while you have her facebook page on one screen while commenting on how gnarly she is on DB on the other screen, is that a bad thing?

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:17AM

Equities in Dallas blown up by wideclops...

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:18AM

Hate to ask, but can you define what a "wideclops" is? Need to insure I can recognize one when I see one - thanks

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:19AM

@1...nice....

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:19AM

if a wideclops with fuck me boots from hr turns out to stand right behind you while you have her facebook page open on one screen while commenting on how gnarly she is on DB on the other screen, is that a bad thing?

sorry for 9, hadn't had coffee yet

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:19AM

WTF are wideclops?

~Veteran Trader

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:21AM

Energy IB will be hit hard.

All you "wideclops" questioners - go read the "Morgan Stanley" post/comments from yesterday.

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:23AM

Yahoo just dropped a bomb.

http://biz.yahoo.com/ap/081120/economy.html

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:24AM

But are wideclops and cankles mutually exclusive?
-MoneygripWisdom

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:27AM

wideclops-A girl whose eyes are too far apart

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:30AM

OK...I googled it. "Eyes too wide apart." As opposed to cyclops I suppose. I was thinking it was those square toed shoes. Now, back to watching hedge fund traders sweat.

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:30AM

@14...her eyes are far apart enough where you cannot look her in both eyes at the same time.

Please see links to pictures above.

Thank you,

Wideclop Special Opportunities, LP

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:32AM

So now that I just got laid off and am no longer restricted from online brokerage accounts. What is the best brokerage to use? Nothing huge, like 50k to play with.

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:32AM

Any word on what groups are being hit hardest in JPM?

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:33AM

Too wideclop, couldn't read...

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:47AM

@22, thinkorswim

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 10:06AM

Since the human field of vision is about 10%, which eye should I be looking at when talking to wideclops?

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 10:09AM

To the wideclops guy from y'day...you sir are a legend.

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 10:11AM

@22 use zecco
zecco.com

10 free trades a month. and you need $2,500 minimum balance.

Type "vikram" in the special offers box for 50% discount on citi.

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 10:13AM

Interactive Brokers. Tom Petterfy is da man.

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 10:20AM

@6, outstanding.

I need the money to buy a bottle to get my wideclops gf into Tenjune tonight. Doorman keeps assuming she's a dude or a fish.

i mean pure gold. keep chasing the dream.

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 10:28AM

@22
try igindex.co.uk
its spread betting company so u dont have to pay capital gain taxes

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 10:36AM

if anyone sees wideclops, tell her i'm having a hell of a time trying to view wsj, bloomberg, etc.

my shit's on the fritz, faggot soundman sabotaging shit

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 10:40AM

any legacy Bear people left in IB will be the first to go. LIFO...should have all been sh!tcanned to begin with anyway.

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 10:40AM

strong comments on this. fine work this morning people

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 11:09AM

Well this is great news. I interviewed 3 weeks ago with JPM and had been sending follow up emails etc. Looks like even that is fucked. Fuck me.

-Jobless Dealbreaker

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 11:14AM

@34 - sounds like you're bitter about something... been out of work since the 'merger'?

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 11:24AM

All the guys I interviewed with were ex-Bear. It sounded like Bear had taken over a lot of S&T.

-Jobless Dealbreaker

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 11:28AM

@28...thank you. I call'em like I see'em.

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 11:48AM

what is a job for?

sheikh wannafukmariatwiceinmyplane

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 11:49AM

@29. What good is a 50% discount on C? When it goes to $0, you still lose 100% of your money.

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 12:07PM

@37, you sound worried, any chance you may be part of the aforementioned ten to fifteen percent?

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 12:25PM

What happened to the MS post yesterday...?

When i left, it was descending into prudishness, holier than thou, and such.

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 12:30PM

I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more CFM boots. Seriously, someone must have the goods on what's going on at JPM today. Anyone??

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 12:31PM

Today was a cleaning out of former BSC employees in equities. "first class firings, in a first class way."
I've often thought of becoming a golf club.

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 12:31PM

THe second one is up and still going...though the prudes (i.e. HR bitches) are spouting off for now...dumb cunts.

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 12:31PM

@3 Seeing as you have no color on dealbreaker or its ingenius commenters, please leave; but seriously, what are 2nd year associate numbers?

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 1:30PM

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=aM0sF63PMJN0&refer=home

3000 heads rolling...all Bear

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 1:44PM

@ 48 - maybe it's all bear in your retail banking division, but i assure you that jpm (unfortunately) shows very little favoritism

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 2:00PM

Any JPM chicks with bra size between 34C and 36DD who would like to help relieve my stress with their various body cavities are invited to leave an application on jpmalumni.com

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 3:19PM

@41..very good math. Whered you graduate guam community college?

cmon man cant you take a joke?

-@29

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 3:44PM

You are all losers. All of you. And feel free to deduce that I too must be a loser to post here. Because I am. But so are all of you.

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:02PM

I heard that these guys that work a JPM in I-banking get to bone their ex's on co-workers desk and get blacked out at TJ phoneless

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:02PM

I heard that these guys that work a JPM in I-banking get to bone their ex's on co-workers desk and get blacked out at TJ phoneless... Now is that really someone you want working on your Media deal...

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:03PM

I heard that these guys that work a JPM in I-banking get to bone their ex's on co-workers desk and get blacked out at TJ and loose their eye phones. And dress with White hens on black T's Now is that really someone you want working on your Media deal...

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:18PM

I heard that these guys that work a JPM in I-banking get to bone their ex's on co-workers desk and get blacked out at TJ and loose their eye phones. And dress with White hens on black T's Now is that really someone you want working on your Media deal...

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 8:40PM

The layoffs are unlikely to be former Bear staff. Most everyone they wanted to get rid of, they gid rid of with the merger, plus a bunch more who left on their own. And the Bear severance package still applies for up to 1 year from the date of the merger agreement in March. Every day that goes by since March 17th increases the $$$ they have to pay out in both pro-rata bonuses (based on the 2007 bear bonuses) plus 1 extra week of salary for every week worked since march 17th, plus whatever severance you are entitled to based on your years with the firm.

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 11:05PM

@ 53-56...Wells Fargo IBD?

Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 12:24AM

@ 16, where did you hear about IB Energy being in line for a big hit?

Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 12:24AM

@ 16, where did you hear about IB Energy being in line for a big hit?

Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 10:14AM

@ 57 - are you sure about that? Where was it written that the Bear severance package would apply for one year even if you were retained by JPM for a role? I was retained and will likely be cut. In which document was it stated that the package would apply even after we accepted a JPM role? Thanks...

Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 10:17AM

@ 57 - are you sure about that? Where was it written that the Bear severance package would apply for one year even if you were retained by JPM for a role? I was retained and will likely be cut. In which document was it stated that the package would apply even after we accepted a JPM role? Thanks...