Layoffs Watch '08: JPMorgan

Reuters and Bloomberg have confirmed what we told you eight-ish hours ago: Bearpont Morgan Mutual will be laying off about ten percent of its investment bank staff. Carry on.

Comments

1

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:33PM

wideclops, have mercy you meat-hooked fuck-me-boot-wearing all-seeing bottom-feeding HR subhuman.

2

Posted by Investorcluzo , Nov 20, 2008 4:40PM

I thought they were referencing db with that retread. wtf? btw, while this may seem "in-line" with the other banks (% reductions), let's not forget the cleansing that occured after the bear purger...so the numbs are actually well north of their peers.

3

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:40PM

what happened at MS today?

4

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:40PM

@1 amazing...

5

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:41PM

what happened at MS today?

6

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:41PM

the only way to kill a wideclops is jump her together with a buddy and ram your respective cocks in that massive, far apart eyes!

7

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:47PM

But you would have to find a way to sneak up on that all seeing gunt face...

IT CANT BE DONe

8

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:47PM

Happy holidays!!

9

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:49PM

Fuck I'm never gonna get another job. That JPM gig was my best lead...


-Jobless Dealbreaker

10

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:49PM

whats happening at Citi?

+++

11

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:50PM

what happened at MS today?

12

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:50PM

@6 may god have mercy on your soul you sick S.O.B.

13

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:53PM

guys, guys. everyone knows it takes at least three to take out a wideclops. two, on the periphery, to get her eyes locked, then one from the front, or back, to go in for the kill. pretty sure it's gonna take a wooden stake.

truth is, no one's ever gotten close enough to know for sure...

14

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 4:58PM

BUT THEm EYE LAZZZRRZ.... you need an intricate mirror set up

15

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:00PM

Just more unpatriotic negativity from liberals who hate America, and the troops.

16

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:02PM

well on the bright side, this should cut down on the soviet-style lines at the starbucks on park and 48th

17

Posted by Tau , Nov 20, 2008 5:03PM

@14:

Sir, there is nothing unpatriotic about killing wideclops...seses

18

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:03PM

@16 by taking out the wideclops?

19

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:05PM

17- 14 here i defs wanna see this widecops payced YO. it is the most patriotic cause there is

20

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:09PM

lines at starbucks were cut down in summer '07 when the starbucks opened up inside 270

21

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:09PM

@18 was referring to the 10% cut in the original post before comments got hijacked by kill-the-wideclops gangstas.

22

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:14PM

fo realz?

23

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:35PM

A FRIENDLY HEADS-UP: Failie May and Fraudie Max are suspending foreclosures until Jan 2009:

http://tinyurl.com/57ebgm

SO STOP TRASHING YOUR HOUSE AND PEEING IN THE CORNERS (until after Christmas)!

24

Posted by Anal_yst , Nov 20, 2008 5:38PM

def caught a few looks for laughing/crying/giggling like a schoolgirl reading the wideclops commentary above, make it stop, i beg of you!

25

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:38PM

@3, @5, @11: Layoffs, that's what!

26

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:45PM

i have started a 501(c)(3) non profit to help unemployed bankers get back on their feet. please visit us at

www.lifesabitchthenyoudie.com

27

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:51PM

@24 Trying to keep a straight face in a room full of people after reading all that. Must.Not.Start.The.Giggle.Loop.

28

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 5:52PM

@ 26 - link didn't work. plese let me know when you get your shit together.

29

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 6:00PM

Unemployment benes extended for 7 more weeks for NY'rs

30

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 6:04PM

When will it all end? A few unfortunates at JP Morgan already went through the fun that was the collapse of Bear ... and they were the lucky ones.

31

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 6:18PM

Hey, Listen up alls yous guys. I breaka dat story twenty minutes before da WSJ. Hows come yous guys never give me any of da fuckin credit. You calls me names like Gasbagarumor. I wanna breaka you face you mo fo's. Soes what if I ain't got no balls or brains. You can suck my tiny whop cock.

Chuck

32

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 6:24PM

Hey, Listen up alls yous guys. I breaka dat story twenty minutes before da WSJ. Hows come yous guys never give me any of da fuckin credit. You calls me names like Gasbagarumor. I wanna breaka you face you mo fo's. Soes what if I ain't got no balls or brains. You can suck my tiny whop cock.

Chuck

33

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 6:24PM

Hey, Listen up alls yous guys. I breaka dat story twenty minutes before da WSJ. Hows come yous guys never give me any of da fuckin credit. You calls me names like Gasbagarumor. I wanna breaka you face you mo fo's. Soes what if I ain't got no balls or brains. You can suck my tiny whop cock.

Chuck

34

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 6:25PM

Hey, Listen up alls yous guys. I breaka dat story twenty minutes before da WSJ. Hows come yous guys never give me any of da fuckin credit. You calls me names like Gasbagarumor. I wanna breaka you face you mo fo's. Soes what if I ain't got no balls or brains. You can suck my tiny whop cock.

Chuck

35

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 6:25PM

Hey, Listen up alls yous guys. I breaka dat story twenty minutes before da WSJ. Hows come yous guys never give me any of da fuckin credit. You calls me names like Gasbagarumor. I wanna breaka you face you mo fo's. Soes what if I ain't got no balls or brains. You can suck my tiny whop cock.

Chuck

36

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 6:28PM

@35...thats all ya got??????!!!!!!

37

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 6:50PM

Bloomberg is reporting that BNP Paribas is cutting bonuses by more than 70% in the investment bank. Apparently "most employees will have their bonuses reduced, more people than in the past will receive no bonus at all, and even the 'best performers may be affected.'"

38

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 7:41PM

what happened at MS today?

39

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 7:57PM

more cuts today at ms in operations and it...anyone know what happened to the nyfidcoll people??

40

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 8:40PM

@ 39, excuse the ignore but what is fidcoll?

41

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 8:52PM

1st year indudstrials VP numbers?

Associate numbers?

42

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:11PM

@37 - what are the 1st year numbers for cheese eating surrender monkeys?

- Willy

43

Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:15PM

#37 "best performers may be affected"? Are those the employees that busted their asses and put in a 28 hour work week? Mon Dieu!

44

Posted by Barack Obama , Nov 20, 2008 11:19PM

Don't worry, socialism is coming!

45

Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 12:11AM

nyfidcoll is the lazy collat group at ms

46

Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 12:12AM

nyfidcoll is the lazy collat group at ms

47

Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 1:04AM

#43 - hey those Frogs put in 80+ hour workweeks if you count the 50 hours they spend in the breezeway smoking cigarettes.

48

Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 5:49AM

When they took over Bear Stearns, Steve Black promised no ethnic cleansing....ooops he lied. "heritage Bear" will take the brunt of the blow mainly because they are not right for the JPM culture. If Jamie Dimon can't be treasury secy, may as well wack some ex-Bear people while he pisses on the carcass of the once mighty Citi.

49

Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 7:54AM

@48, you are a complete moron, please shut up and don't ever express you worthless opinion again.

50

Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 8:14AM

@48, JPM culture? What culture? Go stand in line... loser

51

Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 8:25AM

@27:

just found this blog yesterday, and between your coupling reference and the sudden vocabulary growth, (wideclops, etc.) i have to say i'm impressed here.

52

Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 2:10PM

cross assets structuring and marketing desk was slashed in half

53

Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 3:25PM

for those of you who think Bear staff will be first out the door, note: 1) Bear salaries are much lower than JPM, so firing Bear people has less impact, and more importantly 2) Bear staff are guaranteed the Bear redundancy package until 30th May next year. the package was ridiculously generous! i wont worry till 1st june....

54

Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 3:31PM

for those of you saying bear staff will be first out the door, note the following: 1) bear salaries are much lower than jpm, so firing bear people has less impact, and 2) bear staff are guaranteed the bear redundancy package till 30th may (anniversary of the deal)...for me that means 10 months salary plus half of 2007 bonus....i think theyll live with the culture difference when they can pay jpm staff one week for every year! i wont worry till 1st june

55

Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 3:39PM

for those of you saying bear staff will be first out the door, note the following: 1) bear salaries are much lower than jpm, so firing bear people has less impact, and 2) bear staff are guaranteed the bear redundancy package till 30th may (anniversary of the deal)...for me that means 10 months salary plus half of 2007 bonus....i think theyll live with the culture difference when they can pay jpm staff one week for every year! i wont worry till 1st june

56

Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 6:31PM

It was a bear hunt and a bear bath today. Just look at those who went. JPM DID get rid of the bears today. So much for the "good guy" image JPM tried to sell itself as earlier this year.

57

Posted by guest , Nov 22, 2008 6:24PM

@ 53 and 54 - are you sure about the one year guarantee of the Bear redundancy package? Where was this explained? I don't remember hearing that when I signed on with JPM.

58

Posted by guest , Nov 22, 2008 8:08PM

When it is all over few Bear Stearns people will survive. They identify us in meetings, just like the Nazis identified the jews before rounding them up to be slaughtered.

59

Posted by guest , Nov 24, 2008 7:11PM

Katy Burne

Richard Gee, global head of program trading, index arbitrage and exchange-traded funds at JPMorgan in New York, has left the bank......from DW...another Bear Shot

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