The Swiss bank is said to be showing about thirty percent of IB the door, with cuts beginning last Friday.
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Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 9:19AM
too long, unemployed
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 9:25AM
You or Us. And we chose you. Bye now.
Posted by bondguy007 , Nov 17, 2008 9:35AM
Welcome to U B Sucka Savings and Loan. Oh wait, we don't qualify for TARP $???
Don't let the door hit ya, where the Lord split ya.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 9:38AM
What's severance?
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 9:40AM
These guys will most likely not be able to get new Investment Banking jobs or jobs at a hedge fund, I wonder WTF they are going to do now.
Become Gangster Rappers???
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 9:41AM
@5 garden gnomes.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 9:43AM
@6 that's a little harsh. Someone with those qualifications would have no trouble finding a top-flight job in either the food service or housekeeping industries.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 9:44AM
@5 actually the UBS Guitar Hero team was pretty good.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 9:44AM
all the out of work investment bankers now will never get back into this industry. over the next 2 - 3 years they will slowly get absorbed into working in finance departments in industry as reality settles in. game over for these losers.
Even more fucked are traders and equity research guys. they have even less transferrable skill set.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 9:49AM
I am always looking to add young attractive ladies to my stable.
Big Daddy
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 9:50AM
When is MS cut? it should be soon as 11/30 is their fiscal yearend?
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 9:51AM
I'm afraid 9 is right. But really, what are these people going to do. DB pls step up here and shed light on life after finance, in whatever form that exists..
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 9:52AM
Hearing MS cuts are Thursday
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 9:53AM
Hearing MS cuts are Thursday
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 9:53AM
@9, you are a douche. Are you a back office tool from Canarasie?
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 9:53AM
My housekeeper is just as qualified than these IB guys...she makes coffee, run to the store to make copies..and she gets paid $10 and hour.
Hey UBS wanna clean my floors?
Posted by Seaman Bodine , Nov 17, 2008 9:53AM
we put the You in BS
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 9:54AM
My housekeeper is just as qualified than these IB guys...she makes coffee, run to the store to make copies..and gets paid $10 and hour. Thats probably more by the hour than IB guys..
Hey UBS wanna clean my floors?
Gimme a call
212-479-7990
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 9:55AM
What are the first year analyst numbers?
Posted by VOL IS KING , Nov 17, 2008 9:55AM
@ Bess:
we need another diatribe. Turns out someone has been taking out naked short positions and profiting from the failure of financial institutions. Chris Cox cannot let this stand!
"Goldman Targeted by Investor Complaints of Naked Short-Selling "
Nov. 17 (Bloomberg) -- Investors in the $591 billion high- yield, high-risk loan market are accusing Goldman Sachs Group Inc. of naked short selling to profit from record price declines.
"Do as we say, not as we do."
-Hank the Tank
Posted by bondguy007 , Nov 17, 2008 9:55AM
Who's the next big firm to announce layoffs???
Anybody care to comment or speculate?
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 9:59AM
9 - you think the number of people being laid off can possibly be absorbed through in-house in a brutal recession?
A lot of these people, particularly the kids with no experience or skill set, are out of the business for good.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:00AM
For the individual bankers and traders this is a disaster, no question. It's going to be really hard to replace the 6- and 7-figure incomes. It's also bad for the NYC and NY state tax base.
But for society in general this is really good. The financial industry workforce has been bloated for the last 15 years as firms have resisted cutting heads despite automation, etc.
A lot of these firms will eventually make just as much - if not more - money with fewer employees.
All of these former bankers will go out and get new jobs - whether it's working for government or selling coffee or starting small businesses or cleaning floors, none of that really matters, the point is that the allocation of labor is going to be more efficient.
The exact same thing can be said of the auto industry. Cutting tens of thousands of jobs is going to be painful, especially for those individuals, but the ultimate allocation of labor will be so much better.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:02AM
@ 9: schadenfreude is easy, karma is a bitch, you spiteful little social retard.
Posted by VOL IS KING , Nov 17, 2008 10:03AM
P.S.
Somebody fire up Cramer too. I'm pretty sure a naked short of a bond is the same thing as buying CDS. These bastards are taking out insurance on houses they have no economic interest in! Its like they're playing both ends against the middle or something? But that couldn't be, I don't see that here on this list of 14 commandments:
1
Our clients' interests always come first. Our experience shows that if we serve our clients well, our own success will follow.
2
Our assets are our people, capital and reputation. If any of these is ever diminished, the last is the most difficult to restore. We are dedicated to complying fully with the letter and spirit of the laws, rules and ethical principles that govern us. Our continued success depends upon unswerving adherence to this standard.
3
Our goal is to provide superior returns to our shareholders. Profitability is critical to achieving superior returns, building our capital and attracting and keeping our best people. Significant employee stock ownership aligns the interests of our employees and our shareholders.
4
We take great pride in the professional quality of our work. We have an uncompromising determination to achieve excellence in everything we undertake. Though we may be involved in a wide variety and heavy volume of activity, we would, if it came to a choice, rather be best than biggest.
5
We stress creativity and imagination in everything we do. While recognizing that the old way may still be the best way, we constantly strive to find a better solution to a client's problems. We pride ourselves on having pioneered many of the practices and techniques that have become standard in the industry.
6
We make an unusual effort to identify and recruit the very best person for every job. Although our activities are measured in billions of dollars, we select our people one by one. In a service business, we know that without the best people, we cannot be the best firm.
7
We offer our people the opportunity to move ahead more rapidly than is possible at most other firms. Advancement depends on merit, and we have yet to find the limits to the responsibility our best people are able to assume. For us to be successful, our men and women must reflect the diversity of the communities and cultures in which we operate. That means we must attract, retain and motivate people from many backgrounds and perspectives. Being diverse is not optional; it is what we must be.
8
We stress teamwork in everything we do. While individual creativity is always encouraged, we have found that team effort often produces the best results. We have no room for those who put their personal interests ahead of the interests of the firm and its clients.
9
The dedication of our people to the firm and the intense effort they give their jobs are greater than one finds in most other organizations. We think that this is an important part of our success.
10
We consider our size an asset that we try hard to preserve. We want to be big enough to undertake the largest project that any of our clients could contemplate, yet small enough to maintain the loyalty, intimacy and the esprit de corps that we all treasure and that contribute greatly to our success.
11
We constantly strive to anticipate the rapidly changing needs of our clients and to develop new services to meet those needs. We know that the world of finance will not stand still and that complacency can lead to extinction.
12
We regularly receive confidential information as part of our normal client relationships. To breach a confidence or to use confidential information improperly or carelessly would be unthinkable.
13
Our business is highly competitive, and we aggressively seek to expand our client relationships. However, we must always be fair competitors and must never denigrate other firms.
14
Integrity and honesty are at the heart of our business. We expect our people to maintain high ethical standards in everything they do, both in their work for the firm and in their personal lives.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:03AM
22, No9 here. You're totally right the job market is terrible in and out of finance. That's why I said over 2-3 year period. Like you say there will be a large number of unemployed bankers and it will take them long time to get reabsorbed. Younger guys would go back to school. Older and more expensive guys - they're TRULY screwed.
15, I work at a hedge fund and we're up 10+% this year. Investors who could make right bets have always done well even before this finance bubble last 3 years when every bozo who has a desk at a bank pulled down hundreds of thousands. Those days are now permanently gone.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:08AM
24, you are another loser banker who has not worked on a deal in 18 months. You will lose your job before thanksgiving and have even more freedom to roam here.
Try picking up chicks when you have to tell them you're jobless. But then you never had issue lying to people.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:10AM
I have an idea... in light of no prospects outside of big (shrinking) bank prop trading, and in light of the job loss...
I wills start a hedge fund...
yes thats it... i will wait out my notice , and invest my severence in a "something or other capital partners" job, get a tax break from the Swiss govt on new business and become CEO of a hedge fund, I'll grow a beard, wear flip flops, and no doubt the market will restart its bull run just as I start trading so my first few years of trading will be profitable.
Oh yeah, I'll charge 2 and 20, and on my 20m invested AUM with a 10% return will net me a little over 400'000 bucks after costs... not bad for a beardy from the mountains huh?
who's the "sucka" now?
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:10AM
@24 Ouch, hit too close to home?
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:11AM
9 is being realistic.
If you're a junior guy with no real experience, you're screwed. Senior people with good contacts will be fine. Just do a lateral to the industry that you covered. But realize that it's a one-way ticket off the Street.
IB'ers and Research can both do well. Research can staple a copy of their best reports to the resume. Lots of CFO's and treasurers have Street backgrounds.
OTH, I think sales & traders have no transferable skills to the real world and better have banked some money.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:12AM
We don't "cut" people. We allow them a "White dove release" employment experience.
~HR Guy Who Sees The Cuts Coming His Way!
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:15AM
This is why they'll be OK:
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601170&sid=as3PwfEfBlhk
I'm buying GS. I want to be on the fuckers' side and not be the fucked. Anyone who can brazenly do this to their clients is worthy of my money as an investor.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:16AM
@30
Sales and Training guys = no real transferable skills, wait they can become excellent car salesmen.
Are you shitting me? Research Analysts = Most useless asstards in history. What industry do you think a research analyst can get a high paying job in????
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:16AM
I swear to God I'm going to pistol whip the next guy who says, "schadenfreude."
-Capt O'Hagan
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:16AM
30 What 9 is forgetting though is that there are not really that many jobs in "Industry". Except for the really biggest firms - think GE - it just doesn't take that many people to sift through ideas and pull the trigger every so often.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:18AM
I know for a fact that every single half decent listed corporation has been inundated with CV's from laid-off bankers or soon to be laid-off bankers for Corporate Development Officer or Investor Relations roles.
But only a precious few are hiring.
I think most will have to go outside the banking/finance and the listed coporate sphere to start a new career.
Consultancies such as McKinsey, BCG, and even second tier players like Bearingpoint are struggling.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:18AM
#30, yes, sales is screwed. Research analysts are also screwed unless you are the 1 in 200 of the not-run-in-the-mills, passing along conference call info as research type research analyst. Seriously, where were all the research analysts before GE, GM, financials imploded ? RA isn't worth a penny in my opinion. Traders will do fine if they know how to trade. Unfortunately, most are herd followers or button pushers or mouse clickers, i.e., same sh*tty strategy that everyone else uses. IBers will be around, they just need to be more fr*kkin realistic about the deals they will pull in. In general, WS is screwed.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:19AM
33 Investment management, of course. Logical progression. Go from sell side to buy side.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:20AM
Im leaving investment banking to start a strip club and brothel...that way my clients still get fucked and I earn above my skill...
he he
schadenfreude mutha fukkahs
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:20AM
This is great - now they can fire everyone and foreclose on their homes - then they can REO the homes and get reimbursed for their losses with our tax dollars - then they can sell the homes to foreign national for a profit1
http://yourmortgageoryourlife.wordpress.com/2008/11/13/message-to-distressed-borrowers-you-have-to-help-yourselves/
What we are seeing is the wholesale repossession of the Middle Class, and we are paying for it with our own money.
Classic.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:21AM
Trading no transferrable skills? Trading and surviving this credit crunch will be tantamount to 5 MBA's from Harvard.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:22AM
@39
Call it "the quants club"
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:22AM
@34 true. about a week overdue.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:23AM
who lets HR people read this website?
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:25AM
@44 What else are they doing right now besides surfing the web???
Posted by VOL IS KING , Nov 17, 2008 10:26AM
@32:
Goldman, I hate you blimey bastards but if you want to save yourself. Write $150 puts. take the proceeds and buy atm gs calls. repeat until private. If its good enough for Porsche its good enough for you.
P.S.
Send me Blankfien's bonus from last year, as an M&A fee. I think I've earned it.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:27AM
Snake oil salesmen (aka IBers---not back office) can get jobs anywhere. I am sure they will be looking for the next industry to start selling crap to the next sucker. These guys have the most transferable skills around: the love for money; persuasiveness; ability to see weakness in people and low moral fiber. Whether the next hot industry is selling encyclopedias sets to people who can't see or irons to folks who don't have hands they will be there touting the new product. Remember their last bullshit line - they (CDOs) are just like treasuries. These guys will find jobs!
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:28AM
41 You must not work in banking. Harvard MBA's are generally thought of as overly theoretical, not sufficiently practical. Basically useless in any field that requires action. You will therefore find a ton of them in consulting. Five of them is not nearly as useful as one person from a more highly regarded school.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:30AM
These guys can always become REALTORS
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Posted by Novice , Nov 17, 2008 10:31AM
@44 Who taught them how to read??
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:32AM
@47
I don't any industry they go into can replace the 6 and 7 figure bonuses that they were making.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:32AM
With this round of cuts I guess they have lost the U and can now just be called BS. Because without U it is just BS.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:33AM
@48 you must not have a degree.
more highly regarded school? i didn't go there either, but you sound ridiculous.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:34AM
Whether you are a banker or a lawyer or other paper pusher, the journey to despair is predictable.
http://endofesq.com/?p=534
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:34AM
Im the CEO of a CTA that is trading up a little over 53% ytd...what worries me about this recession is the amount of quality shops that will go out of business and I wont be able to spend my 33% performance fee anywhere...dammit.
(waiting for Paulsons shack to drop another 3 mil then its mine)
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:35AM
@36
having worked at Mck, forget about moving from IB to strat cons. IB's hardly ever have the raw brainpower needed, and even if they would the attitude is usually wrong. I've seen very few ib's accepted and none of them made it to the next level.
Posted by Anal_yst , Nov 17, 2008 10:35AM
I find it interesting that there's enough schmucks here (maybe from Dealbook?) who think all IB'ers are essentially salesmen. The average analyst or associate (at most firms) has a solid understanding of corporate finance and accounting. I'd like to know how those aren't transferable skills.
Oh, and Ibers can make some fantastic copies, too.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:36AM
plz correct me if im wrong - harvard mbas are an old-boys club, virtually useless in the real world.
an interviewer for a structured credit trading position a few years back told me that one of his harvard mba's didn't know what happened to bond prices when interest rates go down.
Luckily, I also didn't get the job of course...
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:36AM
@55 cta = scam artist
85% of the hedge fund industry is negative this year.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:38AM
@57
transferable to what industry??????
There is virtually no industry they can go into that will replace the 6 and 7 figure bonuses that they made in banking.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:39AM
@56 haha. "raw brainpower." i've heard ibankers on here say some stupid shit, but you, my friend, just to took the whole fuckin' cake.
how exactly do you measure this raw brainpower you speak of?
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:40AM
@ 27. Wrong, tough guy. Do you have any thoughts that aren't clouded by spiteful dementia? What's behind your hate, pal? 53 years with a horrible pizza face complexion? Viagra abuse? Somebody steal your red stapler?
@ 29. Nope, not at all. I just like smacking the smackable.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:40AM
53 Fact: Harvard MBAs are considered overly theoretical, not sufficently practical and therefore bad at execution. Simple as that. Please therefore tell me what's ridiculous about my comment.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:44AM
Get back to work you scive ass monkeys.
Im not paying you to surf this shit.
Vik
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:46AM
I should have listened to my uncle and become a barber.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:48AM
@61
I know some people stutter when they talk but you even stutter writing.
Do you also pu puke when you try to ta talk to a girl that you like?
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:50AM
@64
Stfu, you should be running a 7'11.
Posted by VOL IS KING , Nov 17, 2008 10:51AM
@64:
VIK, you're supposed to be trying to save the firm. You want your employees surfing the web. You need your employees surfing the web. The least thing you want is for them to get back to doing what they do best, blowing up the bank with shit show trades. By surfing the web they're doing the one thing they can to preserve your firms equity (OK OK, there is no equity, To preserve your TARP dollars)
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:52AM
57 They skills def are transferable. Problem though is supply demand. See 35. At a bank, a lot of people are involved in business development of some sort or another. Corporate people are running things, buying products. And it simply does not take a lot of them to get the job done.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:58AM
@66 really? that's the best your superior strategy consulting brainpower could muster?
dude, gtfo. you're fuckin' lame.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 10:59AM
IBers are scum. But consultants are real leeches. They do nothing but produce extremely voluminous research reports that have no chance of real world implementation. They are purely used for incompetent CEOs to cover their asses when shits go wrong.
I think IBers do have fine understanding of corp finance and could transition to industry albeit it will be a LONG transition due to current job environment. S&T guys are completely fucked. They will have to go to Univ of Phoenix or Devry and start over.
Consultants are laying off too. all those losers are going to law schools.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 11:02AM
@71 Devry or University of Phoenix??
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 11:04AM
@70
if you take it so personally, you must be rejected. Sorry for bringing up the topic, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, and remember: at least you're not lonely in the fat part of the bell curve. Loser.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 11:07AM
@63 I'm not going to defend Harvard MBAs, but substitute Consultant for Harvard MBA in your comment and its as accurate a description of the useless industry
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 11:07AM
I think both IB and S&T have transferable skillsets:
a) IB can work in the finance departments at other places in coroporate america. They may not get the $$$$ but beggars cannot be choosers.
b) Most Sales & Trading side people have transferable skillsets as well. e.g. FX traders can work in the treasury offices of multi-national companies, energy traders can work for utlities, big oil, etc just to give some examples.
In addition there are PE funds, VCs, and hedge funds too. There maybe an oversupply at this moment...but that will pass.
Remember: There is ALWAYS a bid for good talent..no matter how bad the market is. The very fact that these guys got hired by the banks generally indicates both intelligence & drive. Trust me, most will land on their feet. Plus their severance packages at least equal annual salaries of regular middle america. Peace!
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 11:09AM
Wow...so many dumb shits....
Here is what works:
-Get a job at one of the 100, yes 100 foreign banks with a 25-100 man representative office in NYC.
-Get paid $150-200K to hang out as a VP and fly 1st class to IMF, Worldbank and Home Office
-Stay there for 1-3 yrs, while this passes.
-Then update your resume and say you were head of M&A or Corp Fin for Americas; zero fact checking as HR wont respond so no evidence to risk their bank license and the Branch Manager will care less, as he is inflating as well...and loves you for pulling hookers
-Your future employer could care less too as they overfired, and have tons of under-whelming jr. guys (ie, Assoc's now Directors) who have never closed business (pitch books for 3yrs) rotting. They will take you for $500-750K ASAP, sight unseen.
-You will be back in business and have had hot sex with bank expat chicks and also back at home office with all the Euro/Asia, etc chicks who love the NYC Branch dude.
Worked in Asian, Russian, Dot.com, and 9/11 crises......
Go ahead scoff at this or be in awe when you hear you buddy in 5yrs cooled his heels at Hambros Bank Ltd/NY Branch and just got hired as an MD (b/c of his international seasoning) at JPM while you are at some non-profit starving....
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 11:10AM
@56 please clarify...when you said "having worked at Mck" you mean you worked McDonalds and been promoted to Burger king? Just wanted clarification.
Please confirm receipt and CC all the rest of your flipping burgers group.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 11:11AM
@75
So they'll be going from earning mid six or seven figures to making $65-75k a year. Better sell the porsche, downgrade to a 1 bedroom condo, lose the golddigging skank girlfriend or trophy wife and get used to eaten ramen.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 11:12AM
@71
uh, who told you cons are laying off, because they are not. I call bullshit on you. And also on your mother who told me her blowjobs are the cheapest in town.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 11:14AM
The traditional severance at UBS IB has been three weeks for each year of service -- minimum 26, maximum 52; MDs get four weeks for each year. Anyone terminated after October 1 is also entitled to a "special payment" (i.e., a pro-rated bonus) which for the last round of layoffs was about 25% of the previous year's bonus.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 11:15AM
@76...dude ...been riding that rollercoaster for the last 20yrs...
agree it works..
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 11:15AM
@75 I just threw up in my mouth.
After fucking Wall Street, you want to "transfer" your "skillset" to actual money making companies? I implore you, PLEASE stay away from "regular middle america". Douche!
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 11:19AM
Less than 1% of Anlaysts make it to MD*....
Stop all this nonsense, like you were on track to millions...and measuring drapes for the Greenwich estate
*Quote from Head of HR at first day of Merrill Analyst Program
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 11:22AM
so funny. there are still ppl thinking this is gonna be like the mild recessions of the 90's or 00's. You're so fucked lol (everybody is).
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 11:27AM
@84
you sound like such a loser...
Posted by VOL IS KING , Nov 17, 2008 11:34AM
@83:
"Less than 1% of Anlaysts make it to MD*...."..... "if you losers are lucky maybe one day you'll become the head of HR and will be able to afford a luxury penthouse in Hoboken. If you're smart you'll use a no money down option ARM which you can pay off with all of your MER stock options when they vest in two years. That's what a smart guy would do. I'm telling you it can't fail. I learned this trade from my old mentor at Lehman Joe Gregory"
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 11:36AM
84@85 : stop this i'm gonna cry !
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 11:38AM
@87
that would surprise no one since you're already bleeding out of your ass.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 11:42AM
88 @ 87 : that's it you made me cry... NOT !!! lol
again this shockingly poor homo-macho-porno humour for ugly obese american geeks. At least Bess Levin provides some style.
87, i'm sure you can be more creative :)
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 11:43AM
are you guys even working??
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 11:51AM
Anthropology and psychiatric studies watching retards slowly discovering the meaning of "paradigm shift". The beauty of it is in the TRANSITION ;)
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 11:55AM
@90
yeap working on downloading more pron!
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 12:09PM
ZURICH -- UBS AG Monday said it will reform its executive pay schemes after accepting Swiss government help to recover from more than $46 billion in mortgage-related write-downs.
The Zurich-based bank said that beginning next year, bonuses in both cash and stock will be far more strongly tied to the bank's performance, and held in escrow as opposed to being paid out immediately. "Those who are rewarded will be those who deliver good results over several years without assuming unnecessarily high risk," the bank said.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 12:09PM
Any idea about RBS?
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 12:18PM
got fired from UBS today morning.
they actually called me on my mobile early morning to know if I am gonna make it work today. they then fixed an appointment with HR director (shalmy) for 10 AM
Since am an MD, they spoke nicely to me...
anyccase 4 weeks severance for 4 years i served tehre.... 5% of last years bonus. 4 months pay...pretty neat
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT.
MY FAMILY SUCKS
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 12:35PM
@95 open a whorehouse, Profitable in any economy.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 1:34PM
@ 95
You are lying. The minimum for an MD is around 46 weeks severance. Maybe you should re-read your 'severance letter' :-). Please don't make up stuff to lend credibility to your argument.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 1:46PM
MysTTTal
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 1:53PM
97, 46weeks of base salary? That's basically nothing for an MD isn't it?
Shocking
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 3:08PM
I prefer the term 'strategy analyst' not research analyst...and yes I will be fucked if I get fired.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 3:20PM
@76 Dude, quit crowding my trade...Foreign Bank Rep Office jobs rule in this environment for reasons youv'e sited, plus their antiquated systems can't catch my inflated expense reports...
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 3:48PM
@ 95... while you were in there getting laid off I was busting a nut in your wife you fag
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 4:13PM
76 / 81 / 101 Not sure that works anymore. A lot of the foreign reps were cut down to size and merged away even before the current problems surfaced. They're having problems at home you know. This year things have become even worse.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 4:18PM
This is a GLOBAL financial crisis with severe economic downturn in US. there is no place to hide in finance. Some friends moved out to Asia, Dubai and even Africa looking for jobs. Now they're just unemployed foreigners.
We are FUCKED
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 6:26PM
ITS GREAT THESE GREEDY SMART-ASS BASTARDS ARE GETTING SHOWN THE DOOR. IM A PHYSICIAN IVY EDUCATED AND THESE BASTARDS USED TO LAUGH AT MY SALARY IN MY OWN OFFICE WHEN THEY WOULD COME TO SEE ME. NOW TRY FINDING A REAL JOB LOSERS. ARE YOU STILL EMPLOYED AJMAL,LOL
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2008 6:47PM
I always hated doctors. There's just something assinine about their profession. And salaries too (I mean, for the amount of time they spend in school!!!)
Posted by guest , Nov 18, 2008 4:17AM
for "doctor" read "paedophile"....
apologies "underpaid paedophile"...
all those wankers can do is stick thermometers up old mens asses...what kind of profession is that?
Posted by guest , Nov 18, 2008 5:27AM
wow, this doctor was probably rejected by the ibanks, he couldnt make it so now he's pissed. Sounds like Dr. Shapiro, He hates bankers,opthalmologist on park ave
Posted by guest , Nov 18, 2008 5:40AM
bankers are losers!!!!!!!!! docs are smarter so stop hating
Posted by guest , Nov 18, 2008 5:40AM
bankers are losers!!!!!!!!! docs are smarter so stop hating
Posted by guest , Nov 18, 2008 11:49AM
Things are so bad that the Goldstein's, Silverman's and Diamonds are selling their last names for cash - who's making fun of us now huh ?
Posted by guest , Nov 18, 2008 11:51AM
being a doc is not too different from a lawyer, accountant or any other licensed profession except that in the eyes of 'some' it is more prestigious. I never really understand why....my father and uncle are doctors....my sister is too...they don't seem that much smarter than normal people, except that they are okay with studying 12 hours a day and are committed. But, I wouldn't dare say all doctors are smart. I was about to follow my dad and get accepted into med school, but turned it down and instead do quant. I've met many some smart people in my life and the smartest people are not the doctors or the lawyers.....they're the physics, math and computer science PhD's from MIT, Berkeley, Stanford, Caltech..... From my experience, doctors are rather slow and seem dumb compared to these more gifted people.
Posted by guest , Nov 18, 2008 1:22PM
doctors aren't smart, they are good at memorizing stuff and spitting it back out. basically, they are analysts.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 12:55PM
CSAs (Client Service Associates firm) wide will be be tossed, especially those in bs areas like equity/equity research sales
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 2:28PM
http://ftalphaville.ft.com/blog/2008/11/20/18480/its-official-goldman-capitulates-on-oil/
fuck you GS...too bad your pal Paulson won't let you fail...
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 2:34PM
http://ftalphaville.ft.com/blog/2008/11/20/18480/its-official-goldman-capitulates-on-oil/
fuck you piece of shit GS...too bad your pal Paulson won't let you fail...
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 3:05PM
http://ftalphaville.ft.com/blog/2008/11/20/18480/its-official-goldman-capitulates-on-oil/
fuk you GS...too bad your pal Paulson won't let you fail as you deserve...
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 3:12PM
http://ftalphaville.ft.com/blog/2008/11/20/18480/its-official-goldman-capitulates-on-oil/
fuk you GS...too bad your pal Paulson won't let you fail as you deserve...
Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 9:24AM
#95 has no clue and is clearly lying.
Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 1:18PM
@95
the 4 months pay (suspect it's 3) is to keep you from being derogatory. You're a coward. Should have told them to fuck off and then give us something really interesting to read
Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 1:21PM
@95
the 4 months pay (suspect it's 3) is to keep you from being derogatory. You're a coward. Should have told them to fuck off and then give us something really interesting to read.
Problem is that UBS can really only be run by the Swiss and they have only 7m brains (not all functioning).
Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 1:21PM
@95
the 4 months pay (suspect it's 3) is to keep you from being derogatory. You're a coward. Should have told them to fuck off and then give us something really interesting to read.
Problem is that UBS can really only be run by the Swiss and they have only 7m brains (not all functioning).
Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 1:28PM
@95
Should have refused the 4-month payoff(probably 3)which is meant to keep you quiet,then told them to fuck off and given us an interesting story.
Problem is UBS has to be run by the Swiss who have only 7m brains (not all functioning?
Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 5:32PM
Hey IB losers- want to makes some money shining my shoes?
Posted by guest , Nov 21, 2008 5:32PM
Hey IB losers- want to make some money shining my shoes?