• 23 Nov 2008 at 11:08 AM

Meredith Whitney Recycling Citi Material

Picture 240.pngListen, people. I know you all think Citi is on its last leg, about to be cast into the scrap heap of corporate history. However, I received some intel this morning which leads me to believe your worrying is for naught (“intel” = New York Post article). Meredith Whitney gave an exclusive interview to the paper in which she, not surprisingly, tore open Citi’s rectum via her 8-inch spiked heel (this time not at their request). Sayeth Whitney:

“Pandit and his executives are completely naive if they think the share price is not important. Pandit is wrong, Citi will not be able to stay in its current form. It has lost the most money of all the banks, and has the greatest leverage. Citigroup is in such a mess Stephen Hawking couldn’t turn this company around.”

Here’s the thing, gang. Those of you who’ve been keeping track at home are well aware of the fact that M to the W has used this line before. On May 12, the analyst told Bloomberg TV of the Big C’s chances of turning things around, “I think it’s an impossible feat. They don’t have the revenue power, they don’t have the earnings power in so many of their businesses. Even Stephen Hawking could not pull this off.”
Calling Citi out for being a cesspool of ineptitude is what’s made Meredith Whitney famous. If she thought this was the end, you know she’d be laying down some fresh tracks. Because she has phoned it in, you know full well that this thing is far from over. And that’s not just good news for Citi and its shareholders, but MW as well. Now, she’s still got time to pick up the spreader and truss bar from the cobbler’s, where a team of expert welders have been working round the clock to restore the accoutrement to factory specifications. From what we hear, they’re going to need at least a few more weeks. Surely Citi can get its shit together in that time.

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Comments (42)

  1. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 11:18 AM

    first, bitches!

  2. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 11:22 AM

    Sunday 11am. Still nothing from C……

  3. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 11:24 AM

    Well Salie also critized Citi as an outsider.. however did not add much to Citi thru her own tenor as CFO and other roles…
    It is quite easy to make comments…

  4. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 11:36 AM

    Whitney is pathetic. Who benefits from comments like this? In the NYP of all places? She is trying to get attention for when she transitions to being half of a wrestling tag team with her muscle head hubby after their are no more banks to cover.

  5. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 11:54 AM

    “Her note sparked a broader sell-off that wiped $369 billion off the value of the Dow Jones industrial average, which led to her pro-wrestling husband – 6-foot-6, 300-pound John “Bradshaw” Layfield – canceling his travel plans to protect her”
    This would be awesome:
    http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2008/11/23/business/23citi.1-190.jpg
    vs.
    http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2008/04/21/business/21potion-inline1-500.jpg

  6. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 11:56 AM

    Her and wideclops need to have a boot off

  7. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 12:03 PM

    What a tag.

  8. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 12:08 PM

    When the checks from Christie’s clear, I will own C, and turn this thing around.
    - The Real Dick Fuld

  9. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 12:33 PM

    “accoutrement”
    Haven’t seen that since SAT prep time…
    Guess your need new words as well…

  10. Posted by er666 | November 23, 2008 at 12:50 PM

    “Guess your need new words as well”
    disses are often better if they’re grammatically correct. also, accoutrement isn’t really that “big” a word unless you’re a half-wit like yourself, 8.

  11. Posted by NotNasser | November 23, 2008 at 1:06 PM

    Haven’t seen that since SAT prep time.

    How’d you do on those SATs?
    If you can’t handle “accoutrement,” I’m guessing double digits.

  12. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 1:15 PM

    Bess,
    If good prose were good breasts…
    On your good days, you are absolutely unbeatable. The Besst. Maybe even the Bresst. It’s only when you lapse into the intellectual quagmire — and it’s not your fault for being raised in a time when sophistry and paranoia were considered the two-fold path to enlightenment — that you disillusion me.
    Now, to business.
    That spiked heel — not to mention that absurd stilletto toe — do seem to be dancing to a broken record. And speaking of records, did set one for mixed metaphors?
    Think of it: this “rock star” is married to… a *professional wrestler” !?!? Whatever talent she might have as an analyst is completely undone by the loss of credibility that is a necessary consequence of being married to the athletic equivalent of L. Ron Hubbard.
    I know, dear Bess, that my writing turns you on. And yours, me. But unfortunately I’m too old for you.
    Happy Thanksgiving.
    ~~guessed.

  13. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 1:15 PM

    wideclops aced it’s SAT and ACT. it could have been anything and gone anywhere…but, alas, it chose the life of HR subhuman.
    it’s reign of terror continues to this day…

  14. Posted by er666 | November 23, 2008 at 1:19 PM

    @12 WTF are you talking about?

  15. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 1:19 PM

    @ 11, SAT’s. So “bull market.” Psychological robustness is inversely proportionate to your score.

  16. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 1:20 PM

    @14. clearly you needn’t worry about it.

  17. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 1:32 PM

    Updated report from the Gasbag as of 1:03. Potential capital injection from the Feds on the way.
    http://www.cnbc.com/id/27873985

  18. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 1:32 PM

    http://www.cnbc.com/id/27873985
    BREAKING NEWS – possible plan emerges from the meetings.

  19. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 1:46 PM

    I think #12 is this geezer or some variant thereof:
    http://epicureandealmaker.blogspot.com/

  20. Posted by Anal_yst | November 23, 2008 at 1:49 PM

    @19
    Most definitely not TED, which you’d know if you’d ever actually read one of his posts.
    @17/18
    Gasparino “article” reads like it was written by a 12 year-old and posted via blackberry, thanks for the “situation is fluid” update though.

  21. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 1:55 PM

    A Bess-post without at least a little sarcasm or S&M/foot-fetish is like an unseasoned entree at a fancy restaurant — it’s still tasty, but it could be a bit better.

  22. Posted by Investorcluzo | November 23, 2008 at 2:00 PM

    I’m tired of no-sleeves. if he wants to get a real “scoop”, perhaps he should try baskin robbins.
    another injection into c is like putting more collagen in pam anderson’s lips (a waste). must we continue to throw good money at bad? what we have here is yet another run on the bank due to the ongoing crisis of confidence. the only way to stop c’s stock from sliding is to halt trading (sorry tgfd) – or ring fence/offload those toxic ASSets. until we know the real value of said “ASSets” on c’s balance sheet we will not know the true value of c’s equity. we won’t be able to value the assets until the market thaws; the market can’t thaw until people start buying; people won’t buy until they perceive a bottom; can’t reach a bottom until people start buying. thus, we have a vicious cycle that has created the downward spiral which leads c into mr. hawking’s deep, dark, black hole. is it worth repeating? mw is reveling in her 15 minutes of fame, good for her; but she has overstayed her welcome and she is now a fear-monger. she and roubini should get a room…
    unfortunately, and I’ve said it before, “the market can stay irrational longer than you/me/or citi can stay solvent”…
    happy thanksgiving b1tches!

  23. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 2:09 PM

    Speaking of wrestling, does anyone remember WrestleMania III when Hulk Hogan body slammed Andre the Giant? The greatest day in my life.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpSXE5_dqNI&feature=related
    SPODE

  24. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 2:15 PM

    SPODE
    Please research La Parka – Greatest showman of our times.
    -General M. Bison

  25. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 2:30 PM

    http://www.portfolio.com/views/blogs/market-movers/2008/11/23/did-rubin-kill-citi
    Haha. Conde Nast has just come out in defense of Rubin. Wow, liberal NY publisher defending a Clinton homeboy. There’s objective journalism for you.
    - Dick Mangina

  26. Posted by Anal_yst | November 23, 2008 at 2:32 PM

    @ Cluzo -
    Halt trading? A bit of a slippery slope, no?

  27. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 2:46 PM

    cluzo@#22…
    Last nite, you wrote on a different Citi thread that you’re “buying way out of the money calls on the sds and sso”.
    I like your idea, and I’ve been thinking about it. Since TGFD is no financial genius, I must ask – How far out of the money, and how far out into the future?
    BTW, wouldn’t a public statement from the gov’t verifying Citi’s strength help to restore confidence in Citi?
    The Guy from Delaware

  28. Posted by Investorcluzo | November 23, 2008 at 3:21 PM

    @anal – very effing slippery, basically it’s a punt that would only add to the confusion currently hampering the stock and would further reduce confidence (if there is any left).
    @tgfd – the position is a sort of synthetic straddle. the problem is that implied volatility is very high. I’ve been looking at the march 40 calls on sso (trading at 1.20). while on the face it means that the s&p would need to jump 44% (remember this is a levered play), that number is not 100% accurate because it’s based on daily moves. sds options are pricey – the march 200 call (essentially a 39% move) has a bid ask of 9.10/12.70. if you believe the pundits that we’re going to see a 30-40%, your all-in cost is 12.10 per trade. alternatively, you could do a real straddle buying the march 10 puts and march 30 calls on the sso. your all-in cost would be 4.70 meaning you would need a 33% move in either direction to make money. I’m not sure which is better, perhaps someone from the peanut gallery could opine. don’t go putting the life savings into it – I’m not a financial advisor and don’t pretend to be one. I’m just trying to make some money off of all this doom and gloom. so speak to your own advisors before embarking on any strategy.

  29. Posted by Anal_yst | November 23, 2008 at 3:40 PM

    @ cluzo
    I talk to lots of advisors on a daily basis, if I had to guess, maybe 10% of ‘em, tops, are qualified to advise any clients on option (or frankly any) investing strategies.
    While its hardly indicative, but an interesting anecdote none-the-less, I once had to spend maybe 30-40 minutes explaining to an experienced financial advisor that if her client buys on margin (incurring a margin debit) and does not pay it off each period, then we charge and accrue margin interest on top of the existing debit balance. After explaining to her this is just like how her credit card works, putting together a basic excel spreadsheet for her, etc, I’m 100% she still didn’t understand and essentially gave up.
    Most advisors are just sales conduits, there to sell people products/services they don’t need, to comfort them when shit hits the fan (i.e. default scapegoat), and sell them on the dream.

  30. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 3:47 PM

    Crude and lude “humor” aside, MW has been right on many of her calls. Dismissing her as most of you have is dangerous.
    We keep getting told there are no companies too big to fail. How many times does Paulson have to say this before people listen? Thinking Citi is too big to fail is dangerous as well.
    Gasparino’s comments are uncertain, as always. A govt injection into Citi is going to have to be proportional to the size of Citi, which likely means unusually friggin’ big! And they aren’t going to do that if they feel the injection isn’t going to have a material effect (or if it just delays the inevitable death by a month or two). If they can’t buoy up the ship, they WILL let it sink, and use the money they would have injected into Citi to try and stem the flood waters from seeping into areas of the economy that would be damaged by Citi’s death.
    Again, assuming Citi is immortal would be a grave mistake. They aren’t. The death knells are sounding as we read this, yet no one is willing to accept the fact that Citi could fail. Gee, that sounds vaguely like Lehman to me!
    Get your heads out of the clouds and look at reality, people. This is real. It’s happening, and it IS POSSIBLE! Although I hope it doesn’t happen.

  31. Posted by Investorcluzo | November 23, 2008 at 4:05 PM

    @30 – I’m not sure people are “dismissing” mw, it’s just that her play book is tired. how many times do you need to scream “fire”? people will either run from the building or they’ll burn. you can take the horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. what people here are saying is that she needs to come with some new material or go the fk away…seriously, do you really want to read a compilation of mw’s greatest hits?

  32. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 5:15 PM

    is a spreader bar different from a truss bar? bess, just say the word: su cobbler es mi cobbler.

  33. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 6:37 PM

    #9 apologizes about the “accoutrement” comment. It’s DB or random guessing out there. Nice job this weekend.

  34. Posted by guest | November 23, 2008 at 6:39 PM

    Anyone who knows M to the W understands that her research has less depth than her stilettos. She is regularly picked apart by buyside analysts who’ve been on the job a year or two. Why don’t you all go back and look at the research she was publishing one year ago? Yes, back when she claimed we were in the third inning of the global bull market in MBS’s. She wanted clients to pile into the brokers with the greatest exposure to the credit markets.
    Understand that when she does her own work (big macro pieces) its a disaster. But when she leverages her hedge fund contacts for info and makes stock specific calls based on that info she’s brilliant.

  35. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 12:41 AM

    cluzo@#28…
    Thanks for the “straddle” lesson. TGFD made a copy so I can read it several times over again so I can hopefully understand it. Thanks again.
    The Guy from Delaware

  36. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 6:36 AM

    So she mentioned Hawking twice. What’s your point?

  37. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 11:45 AM

    that photo is from college
    she looks like tipper gore today…

  38. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 12:41 PM

    @19 – To the extent you still care, my homeboy Anal_yst is correct: @12 was definitely not me.
    Stylistic issues aside, I do not consider myself too old for Bess. Moreover, I assert that no willing member of the fairer sex is too young for me, unless she falls below the statutory age of consent.
    Lastly, no self-respecting ibanker would ever admit to being “too old” for a saucy young minx like Bess (or EP, for that matter).
    Yours in dirty-old-man-itude,
    TED

  39. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 5:35 PM

    Meridth, Citi will not sell his arms and legs in cheap to your masters behind the scene. Please don’t magnify and confuse things anymore. You are a financial analyst, not a fortune teller nor magnifier. america do not need magnifier. vikram has been working hard to fix the company the since Q4 07. They are still kicking and citi’s hole is just filled. over this weekend citi is the most powerful bank to make money in this low price best investment time.
    meridth, you are just a lucky financial analyst that have exposure to the public, you are still responsible for whatever you say. If you are not clear what asset the 306b cover, just don’t make commetnt at all including comment about speculative investment. The only reason it is now $5 is because of your big mouth. please respect financial statement that is audited $18 book value at C. It needs loss of $40B (5.7B Outstanding Shares X $7/share) including dilution to drive the price to $10. Market value is equal to book value + your big mouth to influence the newbie and shorters
    $5 = $18 – $13

  40. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 5:47 PM

    Meridth, Citi will not sell his arms and legs in cheap to your masters behind the scene. Please don’t magnify and confuse things anymore. You are a financial analyst, not a fortune teller nor magnifier. america do not need magnifier. vikram has been working hard to fix the company the since Q4 07. They are still kicking and citi’s hole is just filled. over this weekend citi is the most powerful bank to make money in this low price best investment time.
    meridth, you are just a lucky financial analyst that have exposure to the public, you are still responsible for whatever you say. If you are not clear what asset the 306b cover, just don’t make commetnt at all including comment about speculative investment. The only reason it is now $5 is because of your big mouth. please respect financial statement that is audited $18 book value at C. It needs loss of $40B (5.7B Outstanding Shares X $7/share) including dilution to drive the price to $10. Market value is equal to book value + your big mouth to influence the newbie and shorters
    $5 = $18 – $13

  41. Posted by guest | November 24, 2008 at 5:48 PM

    Meridth, Citi will not sell his arms and legs in cheap to your masters behind the scene. Please don’t magnify and confuse things anymore. You are a financial analyst, not a fortune teller nor magnifier. america do not need magnifier. vikram has been working hard to fix the company the since Q4 07. They are still kicking and citi’s hole is just filled. over this weekend citi is the most powerful bank to make money in this low price best investment time.
    meridth, you are just a lucky financial analyst that have exposure to the public, you are still responsible for whatever you say. If you are not clear what asset the 306b cover, just don’t make commetnt at all including comment about speculative investment. The only reason it is now $5 is because of your big mouth. please respect financial statement that is audited $18 book value at C. It needs loss of $40B (5.7B Outstanding Shares X $7/share) including dilution to drive the price to $10. Market value is equal to book value + your big mouth to influence the newbie and shorters
    $5 = $18 – $13

  42. Posted by Anja Fambrough | September 19, 2012 at 3:47 PM

    I similar to this collection!