People, we need to give it up for American Express. In August, the forward thinking firm announced its "Speak up and Speak Out" campaign, wherein employees were encouraged to report their colleagues' on-site violations, no matter how small or petty, without reprieve, so that the higher ups didn't have to look like the bad guys and analysts who make time for Two and a Half Men could be taken care of. Excellent outside of the box thinking, we noted at the time. Today AMEX cranked things up a notch yet again. I don't know how they could possibly top this, but I'm looking forward to the attempt and I'm merely suggesting and not demanding that it involve a giant game of Assassin.
From: HQ PostmasterSent: Wednesday, November 19, 2008 4:15 PM
Subject: Evacuation Drill at American Express and Brookfield Properties
A message from MD Patrick Kelleher, head of Worldwide Security:
Evacuation Drill at American Express and Brookfield Properties
Dear Colleagues:
American Express and Brookfield Properties will be conducting a building evacuation drill for their employees at 200 Vesey Street on Thursday, November 20, between 4 and 5:30 pm Eastern time.
An estimated 8,000 people will be instructed to walk north on North End Avenue or West Street to Murray Street and go home from there. The drill is only an exercise.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 12:41PM
rumor has it van kampen joined the congo line just now
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 12:41PM
'The drill is only an exercise.'
but the door will be locked behind you. c ya~~
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 12:42PM
It's OK - they are applying to become a bank...
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 12:43PM
This is only a test. If this were a real layoff, someone in HR sporting F-me boots would be leading the march.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 12:44PM
The drill is only an exercise? That's redundant.
BTW, I thought those evacuations are mandated quarterly. I could be wrong.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 12:49PM
And when you get home check your voicemail a message will instruct you to not return to work but another location for a briefing...or debriefing
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 12:51PM
"Walk North and Go Home From There" =
PSYCHE!! We're voiding all of the ID badges once you suckers exit the building. God, this will be the easiest and cleanest layoff we'll ever have, and to think - we got 8,000 people to go quietly!
A-M-E-X
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 12:57PM
my company once had an ejaculation drill.
it was gross.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 12:58PM
What are first-year Wideclops numbers?
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 1:00PM
@ 5
It's worse than redundant, it doesn't make sense. Just an excercise? What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? Wouldn't a real evacuation also be an excercise?
I guess the actual activity of walking would constitute excercise, but that's all I'm seeing here.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 1:00PM
@9 Not 20/20?
Posted by girl , Nov 20, 2008 1:06PM
Hypothetically, how many flights out of 43 will 'my hungover friend wearing 4-inch heels' make it down before she boots on the person in front of her?
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 1:09PM
A-L=SE and in the blink of an eye you switch from A to L.
Best of luck to anyone who is getting fucked over by Youth Robbing Multi-Death Corporation. There are two types of people in this world, those who suck dick and those who get their dick sucked. When you come back into the work force just remember to be that much more cut throat and ruthless than your new employer.
Go buy a fucking dog if you want loyal dick sucker.
SPODE
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 1:11PM
American Express - Go Home Without...
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 1:11PM
This is now about finding anagrams for American Express that describe the situation:
Screamer Ax Penis
Screamer axes nip
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 1:15PM
Take the elevator at 3:45
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 1:16PM
You're close, but you didn't really see the trick. Anybody unimportant enough to leave for a drill will find that their keycards don't work in the morning. (Although I suppose it might be that they'll give you the benefit of the doubt if you come back after you go downstairs.) If you're important enough to tell the fire marshal to fuck off because you've got work to do, you stay.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 1:18PM
I wish Amex the best in the same fashion the wished it to me some years back when an illness and divorce decimated my credit. Ah, sweet karma.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 1:22PM
What a way to layoff people...
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 1:25PM
This sounds very humane actually. At least they're not making 8000 people walk west to a certain death in the icy waters of the Hudson.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 1:25PM
Yeah 18 - Karma sure is a Bitch, Amex. Wait till you hit $10
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 1:28PM
@15 Bravo
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 1:31PM
@ 15
"Remixes Pancreas"
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 1:32PM
"Camera Ripens Sex"
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 1:33PM
"Sex Pain Screamer"
Posted by Anal_yst , Nov 20, 2008 1:34PM
#20 ftw
Posted by merkin capital partners , Nov 20, 2008 1:39PM
they probably just have a lot of fatties...was supposed to read "The drill is only exercise."
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 1:42PM
Man, it is a sign of the times when a safety drill is announced and people think it has to do with employment status.
The Nymex quit announcing the dates and times of their firedrills a couple of years ago. Nothing like a bunch of floor traders standing around during a closed market due to a fire drill with nothing to talk about.....Hey! Wait a minute....
~The "Hey! Wait a minute..." Guy
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 1:53PM
I just evacuated in my pants.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 2:07PM
Gotta give it to AMEX, that's one helluva creative way to give people the axe.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 2:32PM
My wife gives me that little wink now and then. That's when I change my diaper.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 3:38PM
What is surely a sign of the times is that Discover card services is in much better shape financially than AMEX and is extending credit whereas AMEX is doing everything it can to lower its leverage/debt ratios.
(un/fortunately the plat. and centurions are tough to reel-in so the local ahem, gentlemans entertainment industry can breath our a bosomy sigh of relief)
-C
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 3:58PM
This this from an DB article linked three levels deep, but the idea of Bess 'tasting the metal and the fear' gets me pretty hot.
uuuuhmm... I'll be in the men's room for the next 10 minutes...
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 7:14PM
Everyone please continue to exit in a straight line and board that train. This century we have decided to do things a little different. There wont be a little man with a little moustache, but we still want to get rid of all you deceitful, lying, evil, and scumbag wall streeters regardless of race, religion or nationality ... now please go ahead and board that train
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:51PM
They talk about 7k in layoffs at AXP but the lines at breakfast and lunch are still way too long at 3WFC. Good think they are marketing more than banking so that the women are much better looking.