Date: May 29, 2008
Aspirant: Tim "T-Bone"
Firm: FTN
Time: 8 Hours
Result: Failure - 27 of 35 items consumed.
Excuse: None offered.
Date: August 22, 2008
Aspirant: Unknown
Firm: Unknown
Time: 3 hours 56 minutes
Result: Failure
Excuse: Borderline Sodium-Induced Seizure
Date: November 13, 2008
Aspirant: Unknown
Firm: Unknown
Time: Unknown
Result: Failure - 24 of 36 items consumed.
Excuse: "The apple pie was just too much."
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2008 6:51PM
First to comment on this shitty post
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2008 7:01PM
I'm concerned about there not being future vending machine challenges with all the layoffs.
How can we hedge this EP so the hits keep on coming?
Posted by VOL IS KING , Nov 13, 2008 7:09PM
I think larry kudlow is back on the blow. He says bush's speech turned around the market.
Jesus Christ, no wonder Bear Stearns went under, this guy was their CHIEF economist!
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2008 7:13PM
Firms and Names or GTFO
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2008 7:23PM
Where are the vending machines? I'm sure I can take one of these down but its gotta be apples to apples so I wanna make sure im doing the same machine others have failed at.
Is it just chips and chocolate or i it the whole nine with hot pockets and white castle two packs?
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2008 7:47PM
"Is it just chips and chocolate or i it the whole nine with hot pockets and white castle two packs?"
Goddamn this is one of the funniest things I have ever read here at Dealbreaker. #5 is one serious mofo. I want to sponsor him as an outside conqueror to do what the proprietary team couldn't. If you can't please your bitch then you need to get someone in there who can and #5 just might be our man.
SPODE
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2008 7:49PM
this stupid vending machine gang. pathetic.
why cant we get a recap of the pink slip party. wasnt anyone there? didnt anyone see bess? or at least her pink slip. i'm sure EP was dressed as a man so nobody would recognize her.
some pics would be nice
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2008 7:53PM
@7- Rule number 1, you don't talk about fight club.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2008 7:54PM
Lack of will power imo.
I had a boss who took the group out for a pretty big lunch one day, then was presented with the gallon-o-milk challenge. After a large lunch mind you.
Dude got within 12 ounces of the gallon when he ran to the bathroom and projectile vomited it all over the stall, then came back and finished out the work day.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2008 8:08PM
Five here - you can even test my piss, all you'll find is courage
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2008 8:46PM
@3 - Vol, you're better than that. Kuddles hasn't been at Bear since the mid 90s. Management was into weed, not coke, in the final days.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2008 9:08PM
Barney Frank took the vending machine challenge today. He was able to shove the entire contents of the vending machine up his ass in under an hour. Everyone in his office thought he was crazy but he was just feeding his gerbils.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2008 9:18PM
http://blogs.wsj.com/deals/2008/11/12/mean-street-the-painful-path-to-fixing-goldman-sachs/
The vitriol in the comments gladdens my heart.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2008 9:18PM
This is both sad and boring. If you worked for a large hedge fund there would be no vending machines. All snacks are free and paid for by soft dollars.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2008 9:19PM
@9 - did he at least finish the gallon-o-milk?
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2008 9:22PM
I heard Barney Frank's bedroom doors lock from the outside.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2008 9:23PM
@12 - LO Fucking L
This format is retarded. You need to inject competition into this; make it a contest with a prize. Example: five real estate securitization interns, one offer (fake or real). If no one finishes no one gets an "offer." We'll see who wants it the most.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2008 10:28PM
"real estate securitization interns" - like the DoDo bird they are extinct. Nice try though.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2008 10:33PM
here is what turned the market:
"The market is moving down, and this is the equivalent to taking someone to a back dark ally to take his money....the guys being taken to the back dark alley are the sellers."
http://financialtraders.blogspot.com/2008/11/stock-price-prediction-tomorrows-stock.html
Indeed their money was taken at the bottom, called for live right here:
http://financialtraders.blogspot.com/2008/11/stock-price-predction-qqqq-ndx-dow-spy_11.html
Posted by VOL IS KING , Nov 13, 2008 10:56PM
@12:
Huh, so that's where Ken Griffin stays when he's in DC. I was wondering where that gerbil's DC lair was, now we know.
Posted by Last Man Standing , Nov 13, 2008 10:59PM
@vol
you know when the watergate hotel is booked solid there's always the gerbil hotel
Posted by Anal_yst , Nov 13, 2008 11:15PM
@13
You mean the sheer stupidity and ignorance? Some of those comments are worse than the yahooligans that somehow find their way over these parts, which says alot.
Posted by VOL IS KING , Nov 13, 2008 11:54PM
@22:
Analyst are you talking about the comments on the blog or the comments made by Hank the tank Paulson yesterday?
The emperor isn't wearing any clothes, when the king is naked in the street who are we criticize the peasants?
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2008 11:56PM
DB you have to cover this:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,450024,00.html
Love,
Harald
Posted by VOL IS KING , Nov 14, 2008 12:21AM
@24:
Giving people money and then making them pay taxes and give you the money right back is counter productive, moron.
Posted by guest , Nov 14, 2008 12:52AM
What is wrong with these first year intern losers? First off, who f***ing uses a vending machine besides backoffice honkays? Second, seizures and hallucinations from m&m's? Unless the paint was laced with yayo and peyote, they must forefit their man-card immediately for admitting this out loud. Sac up and keep eating.
8 hours to dust 36 items in a vending machine should be more than enough time if a) thats all they had to eat during the day b) ample amounts of water were on hand c) repeat round-trips were made to the can to blow sugar encrusted mud all over the stalls.
Posted by guest , Nov 14, 2008 5:59AM
NYFIDCOLL person from MS here (Associate ID : M105BY)
Today is my last day with the firm. Got 3 months sev + 4 weeks for every year + 3% of last 3 years bonus average
More than the severance.. the thought of what I would do next is making me cringe. I feel so small.
I cant imagine sitting at home as I dont have a good relationship with my wife. We have a little baby who keeps crying all the time.
IS THIS HELL that we used to talk about in childhood ? Any advice would be appreciated.
Posted by guest , Nov 14, 2008 7:16AM
@27
sorry to hear that. My advice for work - look at corp HQ's of large companies. Analytical talent is always welcome there.
But wtf you are an associate so <30 and already have a bad relationship with your wife? Maybe spend some time to work on that now!
Posted by guest , Nov 14, 2008 8:09AM
The last contestant took down 26 of 30 items and did so in four hours. Revise accordingly Bess...
Posted by guest , Nov 14, 2008 8:44AM
You should open this up to people outside of NYC if you actaully want someone to succeed.
Posted by guest , Nov 14, 2008 9:16AM
@27- Try taking the crying baby off of your wife's hands for a bit during the day (since you've got more time at home these days) and I bet your relationship with her will improve. There's nothing as stressful as a colicky baby, but also nothing more appreciative than a new mom who can grab a little bit of time during the day to get something done for herself (a nap? pedicure?). Good luck on your job search.
Posted by guest , Nov 14, 2008 9:52AM
TGFD says that this vending machine challenge is bullshit. If a young lad can eat only 24 of 36 items, he should be ashamed of himself. Even at my current age, TGFD could do at least that well. WTF is the matter with today's youth? Too f'n soft, they are.
The Guy from Delaware
Posted by guest , Nov 14, 2008 10:05AM
How about I do it @ Fiddlesticks @ 9:30 tonight? Boys, you'll see a real man in action, not just a real fat man.
Posted by guest , Nov 14, 2008 10:07AM
Weak. My first-year FEMALE analyst (who weighs all of 100 pounds soaking wet) took down our vending machine a couple months ago. No prize, she just wanted to prove she could do it. Man up, losers (or should it be, woman up?).
Posted by guest , Nov 14, 2008 10:09AM
Weak. My first-year FEMALE analyst (who weighs all of 100 pounds soaking wet) took down our vending machine a couple months ago. No prize, she just wanted to prove she could do it. Man up, losers (or should it be, woman up?).
Posted by guest , Nov 14, 2008 10:11AM
Do, or do not. There is no try.
Posted by guest , Nov 14, 2008 10:33AM
MS person@#27...
This is TGFD's advice, and I mean it, seriously:
Do Not be tempted to take anti-depressent pills like Paxil. These f'n things are very dangerous. They lead one into thinking that suicide actually makes sense. Your doctor will prescribe them to "get you through the tough time", but the f'n things are not good. Believe me.
TGFD had his own experience with them back during the 2000 - 2002 stock bust. After 1 yr on those things, I realized that my thoughts were leading me in the wrong direction. The worst part is that the thoughts were making sense. I abruptly stopped and vowed to never take them again.
As I learned in AA back in 1981 when I stopped drinking, "There is nothing that can happen to you that a drink won't make worse." That goes for those f'n pills too.
The Guy from Delaware
Posted by guest , Nov 14, 2008 11:23AM
How is Oyster Boy not the spokesmen for Frito Lay at this point?
Oyster Boy/Palin '12
SMP
Posted by guest , Nov 14, 2008 12:22PM
TGFD @32 - well said. Kids today are pathetic.
Also, thanks for the heads-up on anti-depressants.