We've always liked the term "zombie firms." Of course, a strong affinity for zombie movies (we are classic 1979 Dawn of the Dead fans) assured that we like anything with the word "zombie" in it, so perhaps this isn't saying much. Still, our unholy communion with the dead and the damned, and all the sympathy for the animated recently-living such a connection invokes, is not enough to even crack a smile when the word is used in the same paragraph as AIG.
Let us be clear. AIG is not a zombie. Follow us closely here. There are, of course, some similarities:
1. If you are bitten by a Zombie you might also become a Zombie. (See e.g., Lehman Counterparties). The same is true for many of AIG's associates.
2. Zombies appear to possess little or no intelligence. (Check).
3. Loud groaning emanates from Zombies. (Ceasless whining from AIG)
But key differences remind us how far apart they actually are:
A. Zombies are self-ambulatory. Even if all that is left is a severed head, you can bet that head will be working its jaw to roll itself over before using its jaw and tongue to move towards the nearest food source. AIG couldn't fall out of bed without a wheelchair.
B. Zombies make no attempt to conceal the severe trauma their bodies have endured.
C. Zombies don't take spa trips.
Revised AIG Terms Begin Treasury Transfusions to 'Zombie' Firms [Bloomberg]
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 11:33AM
Brainssss! Firsssst!
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 11:34AM
Oh I'm not worried. Obama will save us. With a big ol' load of 'hope'. Besides, if we get bored of worshiping Obama, there's always Joe Biden.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 11:34AM
I take issue with "C". There is an LDC forum on the west coast going on today and many utility gas buyers are there. That forum offers spa trips as a bonus.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 11:35AM
Slow Zombies > Fast Zombies
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 11:39AM
"Obama's gonna chaaaaaaaaange it, an' rearaaaange it."
"Obama's gonna save the world!"
Let's actually find out if a half-ass lawyer from the corrupt Chicago machine with a socialist agenda is the right medicine to 'save' our economy.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 11:42AM
Too ep, didn't...wait this was actually mildly amusing.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 11:42AM
What about Zombie Debt? America racks up record debt in '08......debt gets "erased" in '09...then Zombie Debt re-emerges in 2013 when socialism collapes in America
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 11:43AM
AIG is up to their old facial tricks again: http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/business/articles/2008/11/11/20081111biz-aigresort1111.html
Why are these clowns drumming up *new* business, anyway? Service the economy-threatening deals, then fire everyone.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 11:44AM
pink slip party #5 most read piece in bbg. whats the world coming down to. speaking of which, shouldnt bbg of all news outlets be pro-bonus???
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 11:44AM
@2
Haven't you ever tried it? Hope tastes soooo good, just like chocolate...it's gotta save us baby. Thank good we have Barack Obama, cuz he's gonna barackstar his ass outta this economic mess.
The throngs of hippies at his rallies, the youth generation that's never worked a job in their lives....just thinking about the people who voted this socialist messiah into office scares me.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 11:47AM
pink slip party #5 most read piece in bbg. whats the world coming down to. speaking of which, shouldnt bbg of all news outlets be pro-bonus???
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 11:51AM
um...hey barrack....i'm scared about the economy...please stop pretending you're the next jesus and appoint some good advisors to deal with this...preferrably people who understand economics more than politics and we're gonna need more than just 'green energy' to get us out of this shithole...i can't imagine GM suddenly building cars from twigs and home builders building neighborhoods of mud huts....but i guess that's where we're headed anyway.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 11:52AM
@12
Fo shizle my nizle
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 11:55AM
Oh don't worry, all your new tax dollars will go to green energy..and the mandatory volunteer corps for high school and college students that's up on his website. Yay Obama! Yay!
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 11:56AM
It's "s-h-i-z-z-l-e" and "n-i-z-z-l-e"
~Snoop
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 11:56AM
just close your eyes and try it!
HOPE you're not laid off. HOPE you have enough cash to make it through the month. HOPE you don't sick. HOPE you can retire by 95. HOPE they don't build that Mexico border fence too high. HOPE you die before you have to start eating cat food with your Social Security checks.
And HOPEFULLY, it'll all work out...
Posted by Seaman Bodine , Nov 11, 2008 11:57AM
@14
and educational materials
http://www.hulu.com/watch/5029/in-living-color-booked-on-phonics
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 12:01PM
@15
..If the economy's got an attitude
drop it like its hot
drop it like its hot
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 12:01PM
Hurray to the American socialist facist Obama whose creepy tricolor portrait is subliminally similar to those of dictators past! I can't wait until we all get taxed to death and are forced to join his national 'volunteer' force. I can't wait until we get the new Ministry of Truth and the Ministry of Peace.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 12:02PM
Oh boo-hoo, don't say anything bad about Obama. You must be racists! Boo hoo, don't you see how historictical it all is?
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 12:04PM
First
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 12:08PM
Anyone who is ready to appoint Hillary as the New Condoleeza really, really creeps me out and must be a Zombie!!!!
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 12:09PM
right on 19
War is Peace
Ignorance is Strength
and so on-
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 12:14PM
How dare you call attention to Obama's creepy cult of personality, tax-and-devastate economic policies and redistributionist tendencies....you must be the 46% of racists in this country.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 12:23PM
Change baby change!
Damn I feel the same even after he's elected, WTF is going on!
Where's the change I voted for?
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 12:25PM
Baby, I'm ready to get my FREAK ON for the Pink Slip Party tonight.Socialist Sliders for all! Ladies, once you go black you never go back,see you there
B.Obama
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 12:28PM
Hey, at least the chronically unemployed liberals in Europe love us now!
Yippie! I'm gonna go buy me a new chevy with all that darn goodwill!
Thanks for the change that we desperately need King Obama!
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 12:33PM
@26 - and once you go Socialist everyone's a vocalist????
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 12:37PM
YEEEEEEAH! Let's hope for change that there are more pink slip parties. When I'm prez in January, everyone is gonna get to go to a pink slip party, not just the Wall St. elite. Shout out to Willy J on the corner of Drake and Hooker St. in South-side Chicago...back in my community-organizin' days we all partied it up like barackstars!
-Savior Obama
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 12:37PM
As ruler of Lake Titicaca I'm now head of Ministry of Cornholie in Bunghole. Feel the wrath of my bunghole for I am THE GREAT...
wait for it...
wait for it...
ok.
CORNHOLIO!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFG0SPwxF24
I need TP for my bunghole bitches.
SPODE
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 12:42PM
I thought we were talking about Zombies here, can we get off Obama's dick please?
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 12:43PM
@26
...and I'm gonna take you home and O-BAMA yo' ass girl.
B.Obama
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 12:52PM
Amen, #31...
We should be giving EP credit for writing a really amusing post. Well done, EP!!
BTW, what is the percentage of Barack fanfare on here that is sarcastic? I'm guessing, or hoping, that it's 75+%
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 12:55PM
Let's talk about the real issues here - most of you White Men are not only afraid of Obama's government taking all of your money away, but that black men will take your women away as well
Dr. Phil
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 12:55PM
you're right, the Obama crowd I was around at Grant Park didn't have many DB'ers, though the friends around me were:
1. guys who work in public equity- starting at $300K outta b-school...
2. doctors
3. lawyers
4. me (short investor since early '08, ex-PE, live in between Cali / Chi / Europe), and other such investors
5. oh, and hot "hopeful" women
just because you're an analyst peon, doesn't mean you have to act like a shrill-little-bitch... remember, Obama's from the Chicago political machine, a more money-hungry, corrupt faction than every other save for one.... i just wasn't going to vote for a clearly overwhelmed senior and a space cadet who's pedigree is pathetic.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 12:59PM
It's 1:00pm!
lunchtime's over....time for the financial pros to get back to work and the unemployed Obama hippies to write comments. The Obama-freaks have just started writing as is evident from the above posts defending the messiah.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 1:04PM
Obama Freak reporting back from lunch, Sir! McDonalds totally rocked today
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 1:04PM
Ma' first order of business as yo' President is to bitch-slap this economy like I bitch-slap my wife when she ain't puttin out.
Barack
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 1:04PM
@ 35 = ultra douche
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 1:12PM
Agreed #39.
@35= I can tell #35 is definitely not the rich jet-setter just by the way he writes about his pretend self:
"4. me (short investor since early '08, ex-PE, live in between Cali / Chi / Europe), and other such investors"
Yeah, you're a short investor through a Scottrade Account. And since New York is not including in your "Cali/Chi/Europe" travelings, obviously you're not important enough b/c if you were NY would be in there too. I call bullshit on #35, he's probably living in the basement of his parents house in south-side chicago, "hoping" for change, i mean begging for change on a street corner in the financial district by day, picking up key words like PE, which is uses generously in his fake description about himself.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 1:20PM
screw the economy
OMG! Which dog is Obama going to get? I hope he doesn't get a mutt. Or, wait, I kinda' like mutts. Oh well, he should definitely show he cares about change and get a cat instead.
I hope whatever freakin' dog they get shits all over Obama's face.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 1:25PM
@40.
I call fake too. #35 is a fraud:
"1. guys who work in public equity- starting at $300K outta b-school..."
He refers to "public equity." You mean private equity, you NGO-employed shitface.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 1:28PM
I take it someone here doesn't like Obama.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 1:31PM
#35 - 100% fraud.
And these are the people who put the next President into office. God help us all.
and hey, #34 - that shit is right!
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 1:33PM
@35- Fuck you dipshit. You are soooo full of shit. Yeah, and I work for a "public equity" firm making 300k/year too. And my friends work in "hedge funding" and "mutual planning" and "hedge advising" as well.
Well, at least you're qualified for the Obama Gestapo 'truth' squads. May be you should apply for a job there you lying turd.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 1:39PM
I agree with the anti-Obama posts, because he is flaming socialist and creepy messiah-like dictator who's full of himself and there's a chance his economic thinking may screw us all. Lets hope he keeps his change to himself.
Oh and @152, you're a shithead.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 1:40PM
We should be very worried about the fact that the true Anti-Christ has just had her name thrown in the hat today for Secretary Of State.
Obama, please put the crack pipe down. Enough is Enough. You want all of our money, and now this? You are a Zombie!
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 1:42PM
#43
Obviously your services are not required here or in financial services. So please leave and apply for a position at the nearest Office of the National Police or Ministry of Truth. Thank you in advance for your 'voluntary' cooperation.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 1:45PM
@45
The Gestapo is generally associated with right wing factions. I believe the word you're looking for is Commie.
Please get your political classifications correct.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 1:48PM
hey 43- there's always a job at The Post Office for losers like you
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 1:49PM
@47
Yes, someone please tell Barack to put the crack pipe down.
Dammit! It's time to put that pipe down and stop 'hoping' for shit. No, I will not support your or the government's addiction and no you cannot take my money.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 1:50PM
Just me, or do all the anti-Obama posts sound like they're written by the same person. I'm thinking some commercial bank back office type that's off today and sitting in front of a laptop at his mother's kitchen table somewhere on Staten Island. Waiting for her to come home from her job at the mall and cook him some dinner.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 1:51PM
35 is really me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_TcszezOVE&feature=related
SPODE
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 1:53PM
I already applied to the Post Office and they rejected me. Damn. That was my one chance for a stable job, they'd never be able to fire me there, no matter how little I actually work.
Obama supporter
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 1:58PM
52- in just one week, the visits to these posts seem to be comprised of the following:
80% = not feelin Obama, never will, let's just get through this
10% = Obama Disciples to the bitter end
remaining 10% = recently unemployed liberals trapped in conservative bodies, trying to get out. Those you should fear the most because they have the least to lose. Probably close to what you just outlined.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 1:59PM
@52
Staten Island! LOL.
How true. A little peice of West Virginia right here in the city.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 2:04PM
#35 has a job in the "public equity" side of waste management. and his friends are "custodial investment supervisors" at "Garcia Bathroom Advisers"
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 2:10PM
@57
Fu*king hilarious!
Also, tell the Obama-freaks that they need to stop posting here and attend to the slow lines at the Post Office.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 2:17PM
To all you hedgies and bankers and shit...
Suck it! I kick ass cuz I work as a "Bun-and-Patty Asset Flipper" at the "public equity" division at McDonald's Corporation.
Obama Supporter
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 2:23PM
Bada..bop.bop..baaaaa...I'm lovin' it.....Obama may be good for McDonald's marketing...they really need to contact him...
"hey kids...eat McDonald's and look like me..and may be one day the sorry media will give you a break and help you get elected prez!"
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 2:27PM
@55
Try again champ your math sucks, 110%? I don't think so.
Obama Supporter
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 2:29PM
@47
Let's 'hope' he appoints Colonel Saunders as Secretary of State, rather than the Anti-Christ Hillary 'man-eating-whore' Clinton.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 2:33PM
My Zombie And Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjJIeQ5rgp4
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 2:53PM
2,5,10,12,13,14,16,etc., etc.
You are all dumb-a** Republicans with shrinking silver spoons in your mouths. Daddy and Mommy paid for your business school, but your math skills suck so you got laid off early and your trust fund is down big. Now you spend your days in their basement ranting about Obama on unrelated DB articles. Stop wasting my tax dollars on your unemployment, face reality, and go get a job at McDonald's where your quant skills may just suffice. And when you're struggling with the math there, just remember "Yes we can!".
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 3:01PM
64 You're totally wrong. No silver spoons. The Obama haters are angry, under or unemployed, poorly educated people solidly at the bottom of the middle class, and worried about plunging further. Not worried enough to go do something about it. Easier to sit here and type.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 3:07PM
35 here... sorry, been busy, up 10% today (see FXP)
rebuttals:
1. "And since New York is not including [sic] in your "Cali/Chi/Europe" travelings [sic], obviously you're not important enough b/c if you were NY would be in there too"- can we all agree that only a douchey novice would even write this?
"long Chicago / short Manhattan" is working pretty well right now, dontcha' think (the whole KG thing notwithstanding)? ;)
and to think, I started doing CDOs at Lehman @ 745 (& 399)...
2. @ 42- if you're only starting at $300K in PE, you are... well, 'below the bar'. sounds like you don't even know what TPG associates make, much less those post-HBS, S, Wharton.
'public equity' is a generic industry term that sexes-up the phrase 'mutual funds'... the latter being a term only retail folks should use (I just learned this recently as well, due to the same disdain every elitist feels towards MFs). tho, don't have an aneurysm- these junior guys are of course lapped by PE/HF, except in cataclysmic scenar.... oh.
3. the rest of you State Island / Baruch types... at least *feign* success, or pretend that you might get there one day. or present a cogent, non-glib thought. 'me thinks thou doth protest...' something something.
As for me, I will (hopefully) become a sleazy, sleazy green lobbyist (ain't nothin' like siphoning both gubiment and private $), backed by DFJ, KPCB, and other such "SV Mafia" types, after I'm done with this short-bias dream market. Only problem is, Dems throw pretty weak parties, nothing like Bushies. Ta-ta, tadpoles!
Posted by ep , Nov 11, 2008 3:15PM
#66:
Punt. Really. You're just digging a deeper hole now and you are giving PE people a bad (worse) name.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 4:27PM
WTF does Obama have to do with AIG or the AIG solution from the Bushie braintrust? Clusterfuck indeed.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2008 11:03PM
What number am I? ------------------->
And that's how I roll bitches.
SPODE
Posted by I am a Dude , Nov 11, 2008 11:13PM
@Spode
not at the DB party?
how come no live blogging?
Posted by Investorcluzo , Nov 12, 2008 1:13AM
@spode - you da man!
@dude - wait until tomorrow...
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2008 6:33AM
Layoffs, more layoffs and more layoffs. This just gets worse everyday....
Do you think that those who survive in finance and ride out this storm will be the kings of wall st. when this is all over? Or, will wall st. be dead and those who survive will go back to the boring pre-wall st.(pre-1980s) plain-vanilla depository finance?
It's depressing to think about and I hope that there will still be demand for good risk-taking and financial innovation.