[via NYSE]
This is getting absurd and by absurd I mean the greatest thing to happen to Wall Street maybe ever. Friday, a clown. Today, Gene Simmons. Who could possibly be next? Obviously Gary Busey is my pick, but maybe not because invoking the Buse would mean the masterminds at the NYSE shooting their collective load and it's only November--we're not there yet. In my professional opinion, G to the B should be saved for the last trading session of the year. Until then, a few names come to mind: Jimmy Cayne. David Blaine. Gay pimp Billy Ash. Neil Patrick Harris. Charlie Gasparino. You probably can't come up with anything better (objectively speaking, that's an all-start team), but I'd love to see you try. Then I'll get in touch with the appropriate NYSE official and see if we can make something happen.
Earlier: Caption Contest Friday: Wall Street Gets Clown-Faced
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:31AM
first bitches!!
how about brian riddle?
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:32AM
Henry Blodgett and the old Infospace Ceo?
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:32AM
Easy: Bess Levin.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:32AM
Couldnt he at least bring his wife?
Posted by step on all the bids , Nov 19, 2008 11:32AM
Gary Coleman.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:35AM
Yahoo Serious.
Posted by Jesse , Nov 19, 2008 11:36AM
Flavor Flav
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:36AM
Osama would be funny.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:37AM
Stephen Hawking!!!
Oh... nevermind
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:37AM
Crab Hands
Brian Hunter (using a fish instead of gavel)
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:38AM
They should bring back all the fellas from Long Term Capital Mgmt to ring it...
or we could get Michael Lewis there ring it and do his wake and bake @ the same time.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:41AM
Warren Buffet. His speech:
"I'm still smarter than all you fuckers put together. Get busy making me richer, damn you. *ding, ding* Okay, where's the hookers?"
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:42AM
the cast from Six Feet Under
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:42AM
Tim Sykes...oh wait, Friday...
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:43AM
John Meriwether
Have Jimmy Cayne on hand so he can turn around and say, "You see? YOU SEE? This is what happens when you don't bail people out! FUCK YOU JIMMY!"
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:44AM
NPH!
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:44AM
Jerome Kerviel
@2, I really enjoy Blodgett's occasional writing (as a journalist, not as an analyst)
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:47AM
Why the hell is Neil Patrick Harris so horny?
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:47AM
Jerry Yang
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:48AM
@ 4 - He's not married. Don't you ever watch Family Jewels?
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:48AM
Get Count Vik up there with a Metrocard 1-Day Fun Pass in one hand and a share of Citi in the other.
Offer them both up and see which people dive for...
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:50AM
Carrot Top
Posted by Lowly Assistant , Nov 19, 2008 11:50AM
I wouldn't mind seeing Milken and M.J. Fox. They could bill it: "Two Diseases, One Cure: More Bell."
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:51AM
@13 - excellent pick!
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:52AM
burning effigy of Dick Fuld
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:52AM
Mozillo......the end.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:54AM
Ashley Dupre would bring down the house!
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:56AM
@27
No way. Specialists would run for the can, start chipping away at those glory holes again.
Don't feed the animals.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:57AM
Ashley Dupre would bring down the house!
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 11:59AM
Peter North.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:01PM
Mark Cuban?
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:02PM
Any of the babes from Spearmint Rhino or Sapphire in Vegas...
That would boost "confidence" in more ways than one.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:02PM
Dupre would provide the market some lift.
Posted by bondguy007 , Nov 19, 2008 12:03PM
Elliot Spitzer, slap that bell like it's your all night whore.
Posted by VOL IS KING , Nov 19, 2008 12:04PM
any body have change I want to put in a hostile bid for Morgan Stanley, but all I have is a $20.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:06PM
Eva Angelina.
Boom!
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:06PM
Vanilla Ice...enough said.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:11PM
the chump
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:12PM
Fuld, Greenberg, O'Neal, Scholes and Yang.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:12PM
Don King.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:14PM
Matthew Lesko
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:15PM
Matthew Lesko
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:15PM
Kato Kailen, he would be good for just standing around like a floor broker
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:17PM
Gary Coleman...chump
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:18PM
Don King.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:21PM
hello, Chuck Norris.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:31PM
Christopher Walken
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:31PM
Jack Bauer
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:32PM
joe the plumber
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:37PM
Bruce Dickinson
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:38PM
Borat
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:38PM
I'll swing my dick at that bell and the dow will jump 5000 points. up.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:39PM
sham-WOW guy
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:40PM
@3 - that's not the first time "easy" and "bess levin" have been uttered in the same breath
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:40PM
Our entire financial system - just like out political system and our mainstream press - is a fucking joke now.
http://tinyurl.com/6el4zc
We have the automotive lcowns testifying on the heels of the Regulatory clowns - they are all shitty business men/women who have ran the economy into the ground, paid themselves handsomely for their efforts, and now want to take our tax dollars on top of it.
Screw them all! How did everything turn into such a joke?
Gene Simmons ringing the bell - but let's put Mark Cuban in jail and give trillions to the crooks who screwed up our economy.
Makes sense,
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:42PM
Flavor Flav would be rad...
Posted by VOL IS KING , Nov 19, 2008 12:43PM
never mind, a homeless guy lent me a buck so i'll just buy two morgan stanleys and save one for later thanks anyway guys. The hobo just wants the cdo portfolio, says the fundamentals are sound he used work across the street could see them from his window.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:45PM
Vilar / Amerindo convicted
juries have changed; ceo's next
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601088&sid=aYY14BIWAZB4&refer=home
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:49PM
i second @27 - ashley dupre. or ashley dupre ringing bell with one hand and giving mark cuban an HJ under the podium with the other. layup.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:54PM
and than Flavor Flav can mope the floor after cuban came on it..
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 12:54PM
Who was the guy a KBC that trashed to the market, a London-based, french commodity trader? Is it true or should someone be fucked or closed-down?
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 1:30PM
Mystery from The Pick Up Artist
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 1:34PM
tomorrow no gene simmons, just the family jewels...
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 1:47PM
Cartman
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 1:53PM
How about.....any biatch that can suck a golf ball through 10 foot of garden hose? Demonstration before ringing the bell?
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 1:53PM
Ivan Boesky
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 2:01PM
TGFD went over to my new discount broker's office recently and saw a familiar docoment on the wall there... The NYSE "Certificate of Membership". I wrote down what it says:
"An institution whose history dates back to 1792 and whose rules & regulations have been formulated for the purpose of maintaining high standards of honor among its members and for promoting and inculcating just & equitable principles of trade."
To TGFD, that doesn't sound at all like what's been going on at Wall St firms these past ten years.
Gene Simmons ringing the bell? He's just another symptom of a possibly incurable disease that is now decimating our entire financial system.
The Guy from Delaware
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 2:18PM
As an afterthought, I might add that TGFD with a flock of those "chicks of all ages" hanging on me would be a better choice as NYSE bell ringer than any of the others mentioned.
The Guy from Delaware
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 2:18PM
@47: I second Christopher Walken.
"More cowbell!"
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 2:19PM
@47: I second Christopher Walken.
"More cowbell!"
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 2:28PM
Dayman. He's a master of karate, and friendship for everyone.
-BeckyBootFan
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 3:47PM
Alice Cooper.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 4:13PM
oy vey Chaim Witz
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 4:33PM
The NYSE where caring happens...
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 5:03PM
MysTTTal
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2008 6:08PM
Gotta go with Ashley Dupre' here...
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 12:15AM
Naked Cowboy
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 12:16AM
Ron Jeremy
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 12:40AM
Michael Douglas
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 9:59AM
What about Robert Downey jr, he would sniff out the coke in the mens room better than any NYPD k9!
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 10:33AM
If Gasbag actually went anywhere near Wall Street not to mention the NYSE podium, he would get run over by a bus. He has no relationships with anyone of any importance because he has burned every bridge known to man. Thus, his reporting is always fabricated - no one will talk to him. If he were to be on the podium, they would string him up by his nuts.
Posted by guest , Nov 20, 2008 1:21PM
All the homeless that hang around wall street.
Oh wait a minute, its all you bums on this thread. lol