• 19 Nov 2008 at 11:28 AM

Who’s Next?

By

Picture 227.png
[via NYSE]
This is getting absurd and by absurd I mean the greatest thing to happen to Wall Street maybe ever. Friday, a clown. Today, Gene Simmons. Who could possibly be next? Obviously Gary Busey is my pick, but maybe not because invoking the Buse would mean the masterminds at the NYSE shooting their collective load and it’s only November–we’re not there yet. In my professional opinion, G to the B should be saved for the last trading session of the year. Until then, a few names come to mind: Jimmy Cayne. David Blaine. Gay pimp Billy Ash. Neil Patrick Harris. Charlie Gasparino. You probably can’t come up with anything better (objectively speaking, that’s an all-start team), but I’d love to see you try. Then I’ll get in touch with the appropriate NYSE official and see if we can make something happen.
Earlier: Caption Contest Friday: Wall Street Gets Clown-Faced

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    Comments (124)

    Older Comments
    1. 1
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:31 AM

      first bitches!!
      how about brian riddle?

    2. 2
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:32 AM

      Henry Blodgett and the old Infospace Ceo?

    3. 3
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:32 AM

      Easy: Bess Levin.

    4. 4
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:32 AM

      Couldnt he at least bring his wife?

    5. 5
      Posted by step on all the bids | November 19, 2008 at 11:32 AM

      Gary Coleman.

    6. 6
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:35 AM

      Yahoo Serious.

    7. 7
      Posted by Jesse | November 19, 2008 at 11:36 AM

      Flavor Flav

    8. 8
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:36 AM

      Osama would be funny.

    9. 9
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:37 AM

      Stephen Hawking!!!
      Oh… nevermind

    10. 10
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:37 AM

      Crab Hands
      Brian Hunter (using a fish instead of gavel)

    11. 11
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:38 AM

      They should bring back all the fellas from Long Term Capital Mgmt to ring it…
      or we could get Michael Lewis there ring it and do his wake and bake @ the same time.

    12. 12
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:41 AM

      Warren Buffet. His speech:
      “I’m still smarter than all you fuckers put together. Get busy making me richer, damn you. *ding, ding* Okay, where’s the hookers?”

    13. 13
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:42 AM

      the cast from Six Feet Under

    14. 14
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:42 AM

      Tim Sykes…oh wait, Friday…

    15. 15
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:43 AM

      John Meriwether
      Have Jimmy Cayne on hand so he can turn around and say, “You see? YOU SEE? This is what happens when you don’t bail people out! FUCK YOU JIMMY!”

    16. 16
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:44 AM

      NPH!

    17. 17
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:44 AM

      Jerome Kerviel
      @2, I really enjoy Blodgett’s occasional writing (as a journalist, not as an analyst)

    18. 18
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:47 AM

      Why the hell is Neil Patrick Harris so horny?

    19. 19
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:47 AM

      Jerry Yang

    20. 20
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:48 AM

      @ 4 – He’s not married. Don’t you ever watch Family Jewels?

    21. 21
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:48 AM

      Get Count Vik up there with a Metrocard 1-Day Fun Pass in one hand and a share of Citi in the other.
      Offer them both up and see which people dive for…

    22. 22
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:50 AM

      Carrot Top

    23. 23
      Posted by Lowly Assistant | November 19, 2008 at 11:50 AM

      I wouldn’t mind seeing Milken and M.J. Fox. They could bill it: “Two Diseases, One Cure: More Bell.”

    24. 24
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:51 AM

      @13 – excellent pick!

    25. 25
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:52 AM

      burning effigy of Dick Fuld

    26. 26
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:52 AM

      Mozillo……the end.

    27. 27
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:54 AM

      Ashley Dupre would bring down the house!

    28. 28
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:56 AM

      @27
      No way. Specialists would run for the can, start chipping away at those glory holes again.
      Don’t feed the animals.

    29. 29
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:57 AM

      Ashley Dupre would bring down the house!

    30. 30
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 11:59 AM

      Peter North.

    31. 31
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:01 PM

      Mark Cuban?

    32. 32
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:02 PM

      Any of the babes from Spearmint Rhino or Sapphire in Vegas…
      That would boost “confidence” in more ways than one.

    33. 33
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:02 PM

      Dupre would provide the market some lift.

    34. 34
      Posted by bondguy007 | November 19, 2008 at 12:03 PM

      Elliot Spitzer, slap that bell like it’s your all night whore.

    35. 35
      Posted by VOL IS KING | November 19, 2008 at 12:04 PM

      any body have change I want to put in a hostile bid for Morgan Stanley, but all I have is a $20.

    36. 36
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:06 PM

      Eva Angelina.
      Boom!

    37. 37
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:06 PM

      Vanilla Ice…enough said.

    38. 38
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:11 PM

      the chump

    39. 39
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:12 PM

      Fuld, Greenberg, O’Neal, Scholes and Yang.

    40. 40
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:12 PM

      Don King.

    41. 41
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:15 PM

      Matthew Lesko

    42. 42
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:15 PM

      Kato Kailen, he would be good for just standing around like a floor broker

    43. 43
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:17 PM

      Gary Coleman…chump

    44. 44
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:18 PM

      Don King.

    45. 45
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:21 PM

      hello, Chuck Norris.

    46. 46
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:31 PM

      Christopher Walken

    47. 47
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:31 PM

      Jack Bauer

    48. 48
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:32 PM

      joe the plumber

    49. 49
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:37 PM

      Bruce Dickinson

    50. 50
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:38 PM

      Borat

    51. 51
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:38 PM

      I’ll swing my dick at that bell and the dow will jump 5000 points. up.

    52. 52
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:39 PM

      sham-WOW guy

    53. 53
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:40 PM

      @3 – that’s not the first time “easy” and “bess levin” have been uttered in the same breath

    54. 54
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:40 PM

      Our entire financial system – just like out political system and our mainstream press – is a fucking joke now.
      http://tinyurl.com/6el4zc
      We have the automotive lcowns testifying on the heels of the Regulatory clowns – they are all shitty business men/women who have ran the economy into the ground, paid themselves handsomely for their efforts, and now want to take our tax dollars on top of it.
      Screw them all! How did everything turn into such a joke?
      Gene Simmons ringing the bell – but let’s put Mark Cuban in jail and give trillions to the crooks who screwed up our economy.
      Makes sense,

    55. 55
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:42 PM

      Flavor Flav would be rad…

    56. 56
      Posted by VOL IS KING | November 19, 2008 at 12:43 PM

      never mind, a homeless guy lent me a buck so i’ll just buy two morgan stanleys and save one for later thanks anyway guys. The hobo just wants the cdo portfolio, says the fundamentals are sound he used work across the street could see them from his window.

    57. 57
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:45 PM

      Vilar / Amerindo convicted
      juries have changed; ceo’s next
      http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601088&sid=aYY14BIWAZB4&refer=home

    58. 58
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:49 PM

      i second @27 – ashley dupre. or ashley dupre ringing bell with one hand and giving mark cuban an HJ under the podium with the other. layup.

    59. 59
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:54 PM

      and than Flavor Flav can mope the floor after cuban came on it..

    60. 60
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 12:54 PM

      Who was the guy a KBC that trashed to the market, a London-based, french commodity trader? Is it true or should someone be fucked or closed-down?

    61. 61
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 1:30 PM

      Mystery from The Pick Up Artist

    62. 62
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 1:34 PM

      tomorrow no gene simmons, just the family jewels…

    63. 63
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 1:47 PM

      Cartman

    64. 64
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 1:53 PM

      How about…..any biatch that can suck a golf ball through 10 foot of garden hose? Demonstration before ringing the bell?

    65. 65
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 1:53 PM

      Ivan Boesky

    66. 66
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 2:01 PM

      TGFD went over to my new discount broker’s office recently and saw a familiar docoment on the wall there… The NYSE “Certificate of Membership”. I wrote down what it says:
      “An institution whose history dates back to 1792 and whose rules & regulations have been formulated for the purpose of maintaining high standards of honor among its members and for promoting and inculcating just & equitable principles of trade.”
      To TGFD, that doesn’t sound at all like what’s been going on at Wall St firms these past ten years.
      Gene Simmons ringing the bell? He’s just another symptom of a possibly incurable disease that is now decimating our entire financial system.
      The Guy from Delaware

    67. 67
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 2:18 PM

      As an afterthought, I might add that TGFD with a flock of those “chicks of all ages” hanging on me would be a better choice as NYSE bell ringer than any of the others mentioned.
      The Guy from Delaware

    68. 68
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 2:18 PM

      @47: I second Christopher Walken.
      “More cowbell!”

    69. 69
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 2:19 PM

      @47: I second Christopher Walken.
      “More cowbell!”

    70. 70
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 2:28 PM

      Dayman. He’s a master of karate, and friendship for everyone.
      -BeckyBootFan

    71. 71
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 3:47 PM

      Alice Cooper.

    72. 72
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 4:13 PM

      oy vey Chaim Witz

    73. 73
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 4:33 PM

      The NYSE where caring happens…

    74. 74
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 5:03 PM

      MysTTTal

    75. 75
      Posted by guest | November 19, 2008 at 6:08 PM

      Gotta go with Ashley Dupre’ here…

    76. 76
      Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 12:15 AM

      Naked Cowboy

    77. 77
      Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 12:16 AM

      Ron Jeremy

    78. 78
      Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 12:40 AM

      Michael Douglas

    79. 79
      Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 9:59 AM

      What about Robert Downey jr, he would sniff out the coke in the mens room better than any NYPD k9!

    80. 80
      Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 10:33 AM

      If Gasbag actually went anywhere near Wall Street not to mention the NYSE podium, he would get run over by a bus. He has no relationships with anyone of any importance because he has burned every bridge known to man. Thus, his reporting is always fabricated – no one will talk to him. If he were to be on the podium, they would string him up by his nuts.

    81. 81
      Posted by guest | November 20, 2008 at 1:21 PM

      All the homeless that hang around wall street.
      Oh wait a minute, its all you bums on this thread. lol

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