Why Can't You Be More Like Goldman Sachs?

Posted by Bess Levin, Nov 17, 2008, 4:44pm

So, I'm not saying that Citi senior executives should get bonuses, because they probs shouldn't. But if I were Vickie Pandit or one of the Pandettes it would really frost my cookies to hear Andrew Cuomo suggest that "At the very least, Citigroup should follow Goldman Sachs' lead and announce quickly that top executives will not be receiving bonuses this year." Come on now. They might not be letting on, but Pandit and Co. obviously know they're scraping the bottom of the urinal league tables. Is it really necessary to make this how they're inferior in every way to Goldman Sachs, including not accepting their garbage bags of money? If I'm going to give up a bonus, I'm going to do it on my own terms, not because perfect Lloyd did. And furthermore, let's be honest. Since when does Citi give a shit about what Goldman does? If they were trying to emulate the Masters o' the U, they would've at least made a little money by initiating a buddy system between the prime brokerage and the prop desk in order to facilitate front running of clients. This was poorly thought out on Andy's part. I move for full bonuses, all cash. Drawn off a small bank in Zurich, Switzerland.

Statement from Attorney General Andrew Cuomo Concerning Bonuses to Top Executives at Citigroup [NY State Attorney General]

2Recommend this! 33Comments

Comments

1

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 4:47PM

Too Hebe, didn't read.

2

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 4:52PM

Isn't the "C" where you go AFTER you made your millions at GS and a plush, comfortable, no stress, Govt hack job?

3

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 4:53PM

I think today just shows how out of his depth Vikram Pandit is. He was the penultimate choice of a desperate board, he set the bar low, and he has consistently failed to hurdle it.

I'm not in PR, and I've been in finance less time than Vikram. It seems a no-brainer to add a few thoughtful words about your axed employees, and add how you'll be forgoing a bonus. When you have $165 mil (less taxes, but plus your bonuses from previous years) in the bank, that would seem to be hardly a sacrifice. But he didn't.

More importantly - who is Vikram surrounding himself with that no one shared with him other ways to handle today's announcements? That is even scarier to me - that he only has yes-men around him who don't dare disagree or point out a different way.

4

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 4:53PM

How can I short DB?

5

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 4:55PM

@4- just stop reading it (or commenting and adding pageviews to something you supposedly don't like, cocksucker).

6

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 4:56PM

@2 don't you mean where you go to rot the firm from the inside so your successors at GS have a chance to make their millions?

7

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 4:56PM

frosted cookies, needed a moment.

8

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 4:58PM

Cuomo seems real uptight lately. Does the office of AG still have the Emp Club on speed dial?

9

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 5:00PM

Now I don't want to see things that aren't there but Citigroup.. the big C... owning $hittygroup really is like getting cancer.
Just saying

10

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 5:01PM

What did Old Lane return this year?

11

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 5:03PM

"perfect Lloyd"


GS down over 75% from highs.


KEEP.IT.REAL.

12

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 5:04PM

Now I don't want to see things that aren't there but Citigroup.. the big C... owning $hittygroup really is like getting cancer.
Just saying

13

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 5:08PM

UBS gets a gold star as well:
http://www.oag.state.ny.us/media_center/2008/nov/nov17c_08.html

14

Posted by Clown Capital , Nov 17, 2008 5:19PM

Vikram's announcement today only continues to underscore his anachronistic approaches to corporate challenges. "When In Doubt, Fire People. Lot's of Em."...

Now, I am a red-blooded capitalist, but will someone PLEASE explain to me that if the government is planning to infuse select banks with "TRAP" capital, why can't they just impose specific executive pay restrictions?!?

15

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 5:23PM

"red-blooded capitalist"

Really comrade?

16

Posted by Clown Capital , Nov 17, 2008 5:26PM

@15,

Yes "Really". The best form you can find. I work at a hedge fund. One without an acronym...

17

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 5:30PM

@ 16 SAC?

18

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 5:32PM

@16- "i work at a hedge fund." do you want a medal or a chest to pin it on?

19

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 5:39PM

@16. I am a hedge fund manager. We are hiring.

20

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 5:44PM

"I work at a hedge fund"
And you go around admitting this in public? You must be naive or just plain stupid.

21

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 5:44PM

cuomo is a dick

22

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 5:45PM

I thought the gag was:

I am a hedge fund manager, what's a hedge?

23

Posted by Clown Capital , Nov 17, 2008 5:54PM

@20:

You should shut your mouth when you talk to me. My intent was to simply state where I worked. There was no underlying hubris. I'm not going to argue with an anonymous "DB Post", so I'm ending all communication with someone who thinks they are my equal.

24

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 5:59PM

Golly, Bess. Are you afraid that your boy/girl friend who works for the big "C" will not get a boner this year and you'll be out of luck for Christmas? Just saying.

25

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 6:04PM

@23 = asswipe

26

Posted by VOL IS KING, Nov 17, 2008 6:09PM

Open letter to Vik Pandit:

1)Your troops are demoralized.
2)They are embarrassed to say they work at your firm.
3)Unfortunately, the people you are firing are the ones happy to be there, as they have few other options.
4) You must act quickly to right the ship.
5) You have no money

The Brand Equity Solution:

Bring back the Salomon Brothers name for IBD and S&T. Its free and its quick. And people will at least not be ashamed to say they work for you (for a while). Maybe bring back Ranieri and Meriwether too as Vice Chairmen* (ie figure heads). I hear both their schedules have recently become wide open.

*Pay them in Citi PIK notes, er, shares. For god's sake don't let them actually do any trades.

P.S. See if you can hire that Hatian guy from Heroes and get him to erase your memory of everything you learned at Columbia about markets being efficient.

27

Posted by Anal_yst, Nov 17, 2008 6:22PM

@ Vol

Interesting idea about the Salomon Bro's idea, good luck gettin that done though

28

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 6:41PM

BBBbrakin up is hard to dooo!

So does anybody know what happens to all of the hard drives, files, and everything else that has all of our personal info on it?

http://tinyurl.com/58bzq7

How much walks out the door? How much gets sold off by a gruntled employee? How a bout a disgruntled one?

http://yourmortgageoryourlife.wordpress.com/information-security/

I think the going rste id $2 for someones name, address, SS# on the internets... Makes you wonder who is in watching out for us with 50k layoffs at hand!

29

Posted by guest, Nov 17, 2008 6:52PM

@ 16 and 23

You're a tool and probably have no friends. That explains why you need to build yourself up on a financial blog under the utterly ridiculous user name of "Clown Capital." You don't have to pretend you're still gainfully employed at a HF...

30

Posted by VOL IS KING, Nov 17, 2008 7:05PM

@analyst:

was that on purpose?

"Interesting idea about the Salomon Bro's idea, good luck gettin that done though"

You know the Citi is Mini-Ballin 4Liphe:

They should have no problem

Gettin' it done.

31

Posted by VOL IS KING, Nov 17, 2008 7:05PM

@analyst:

was that on purpose?

"Interesting idea about the Salomon Bro's idea, good luck gettin that done though"

You know the Citi is Mini-Ballin 4Liphe:

They should have no problem

Gettin' it done.

32

Posted by guest, Nov 18, 2008 8:39AM

@ 26 all the original liars poker crew are being fired this time round. the only way forward for citi is to start fresh, hire young, cheap kids

33

Posted by guest, Nov 18, 2008 3:22PM

Lets all decline our 2008 bonuses. I'm not getting one anyway so I might as well score some brownie points for being a good soldier. How much do I get if I fall on my sword during the next round of culling?

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