December 2008

  • News

    Closing Bell: 12.31.08

    ***Madoff’s Stolen Statue Recovered (FINalternatives) This is some bull shit. The bronze statue of two lifeguards which was fittingly stolen from Bernie’s Palm Beach back yard last week is back. ***Horseman’s firm loses billions in scam (Times Union) Snicker yourselves to death: “A hedge fund investor who poured millions into Saratoga’s equine economy has abruptly […]

    / Dec 31, 2008 at 1:10 PM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 12.31.08

    Madoff Investigation Shifts to Offshore Role (NYT) If, at the beginning of the year, someone had predicted that at the year’s end we would be knee deep in shit from a madman creating a $50B Ponzi scheme I would have simply replied “I’ll buy the drinks for that show”; it’s clear now that by the […]

    / Dec 31, 2008 at 8:41 AM
  • News

    Top Reasons I Invested My Entire Fortune With Madoff

    1. But… he was self-administered! His costs for trading must have been so low! 2. Goldman did due diligence in 2001 [“no we didn’t”, “yes you did”] and they gave him a pass. 3. “C’mon… even if he does anything they will look the other way. He has friends on the inside!” 4. “I gave […]

    / Dec 30, 2008 at 4:27 PM
  • News

    Closing/Holiday/Whatever Bell: 12.30.08

    $$$ Noel family Noël cards [Daily Intel] $$$“The Noel sisters– with not a divorce or scandale among them– seem to have heeded the wisdom of their grandmother Trudy Haegler, who once wrote up her own 10 commandments for the family’s future brides, including: “Make your husband believe he is your Lord and Master, no matter […]

    / Dec 30, 2008 at 4:25 PM
  • News

    Holiday Housekeeping

    Since one of your fellow commenters has brought to light the plight of the less gifted contingent of the Dealbreaker community, we figured we’d remind them once again, in case it was missed previously, and previous to that: Programming Note: We’re on an abbreviated vacation-esque schedule ’til the first Monday of ’09 (opening/closing wraps and […]

    / Dec 30, 2008 at 12:45 PM
  • News

    This Can All Be Turned Around In The Next Two Days

    One of our New Year’s Resolutions is to stop making fun of Steve Cohen. Though previous gentle ribbings have obviously been public demonstrations of love as expressed by a deeply cynical individual scared to tell the big guy how she really feels, apparently they haven’t penetrated certain fleece wearers up at 72 Cummings Point Road. […]

    / Dec 30, 2008 at 11:55 AM
  • News

    Madoff (Liquidator) Scores $28 Million

    U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Burton Lifland on Tuesday approved the transfer of $28.1 million to cover expenses tied to the liquidation of Bernard Madoff’s investment firm. […] Irving Picard, the trustee presiding over the liquidation of Madoff’s investment firm, said he needed the $28.1 million to cover employee salaries and other costs, according to court documents. […]

    / Dec 30, 2008 at 10:47 AM
  • News

    Madoff Boys Guilty

    Of frosting our cookies. It’s become something of a bi or a tri weekly occurence for us to receive emails with some iteration of the subject line ‘Madoff Bro Pictures’ and for us to know we’re about to be staring at one or more images of Mark and/or Andy Madoff and a fish. Maybe it’s […]

    / Dec 30, 2008 at 10:40 AM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 12.30.08

    BlackRock Adjusts Voting Rights (FT) BlackRock has exercised its prerogative to adjust voting rights, downsizing Merrill’s influence from 49.5% to 4.9%, which is in effect BlackRock saying “Please go away, you’re not welcome here any longer.” In its void the firm has moved PNC Financial Services, which has 33% ownership in the company, to 47% […]

    / Dec 30, 2008 at 8:27 AM
  • News

    Top Ten Dear Investor Letters (Know Your Enemy Edition)

    In the topsy-turvy world of contrite investment apology, split-second recognition of the language in a “Dear Investor” letter bearing bad tidings can mean the difference between slow malingering death in the face of debilitating investor lockups, or a quick escape to the islands where you will also conveniently avoid the jealous rage of your (former) […]

    / Dec 29, 2008 at 3:05 PM
  • News

    “Closing” Bell: 12.29.08*

    $$$ “Desperate to avoid steering his 25,000-person company into bankruptcy proceedings, Mr. Fuld dialed the Charlotte, N.C., home of Bank of America Chairman Kenneth D. Lewis. His calls so far that weekend had gone unreturned. This time, Mr. Lewis’s wife, Donna, again picked up, and told the boss of Lehman Brothers: If Mr. Lewis wanted […]

    / Dec 29, 2008 at 2:28 PM
  • News

    Madoff To Use Same Defense As Certain Mustachioed Austrian

    And Bernie Madoff gets off yet again! Four words: untreated case of syphilis. Didn’t think Bernie Madoff’s spotted sexual history was going to play a part in his defense of the greatest Ponzi scheme of all time? Think again! As you all know, some personally, when syphilis enters the symptomatic tertiary stage, “it becomes a […]

    / Dec 29, 2008 at 11:45 AM
  • News

    Fishy Friends

    From the mailbag: Robert Rubin is a part owner of the highend fly fishing shop Urban Angler (stores in NYC and DC), in which Andy and Mark Madoff are also investors. Earlier: Madoff Family Photos

    / Dec 29, 2008 at 11:11 AM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 12.29.08

    Credit Suisse Investors May Have Lost ~$1B With Madoff (Reuters) So, Credit Suisse didn’t actually invest with Madoff, and the Hedge Funds they use/sell didn’t invest in Madoff, but their client base did. Is it possible the Credit giant knew better than to invest with Madoff, and if they did know better, what did they […]

    / Dec 29, 2008 at 7:59 AM
  • News

    Holiday Bell: 12.26.08

    A belated Merry Christmas, from the Corina and Andrés Piedrahíta branch of the Noel family! (via Semana) How Do You Run a Hedge Fund? Colleges Are Showing How (NYT) Yale School of Management is ramping up its effort “to educate students in the skills and knowledge most relevant to running hedge funds” such as freezing […]

    / Dec 26, 2008 at 11:15 AM
  • News

    Closing Bell: 12.24.08

    Beauties Hit With Madoff Mud (NYP) The Post does quite the hit job on the Noel sisters today, digging up anonymous sources who share that Lisina was prone to wearing white mink coats during her teens, that in their mother’s native Brazil the girls were known as the “Aspirina Sisters because they gave the Brazilian […]

    / Dec 24, 2008 at 4:00 PM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 12.24.08

    With Roots in ’70s, Madoff Scheme Takes New Toll (WSJ) From time to time Mr. Gettinger would try to engage Mr. Madoff in talk about his investment strategy. “I asked him about it several times and he wouldn’t talk,” said Mr. Gettinger. “Anytime you would talk to him about his business he would tell you […]

    / Dec 24, 2008 at 9:30 AM
  • News

    Write-Offs: 12.23.08

    $$$ Walter & Monica Noel: The Millions Didn’t Go to Charity [Cityfile] $$$ Access Executive Said He Would ‘Fight’ for Madoff Funds [Dealbook] $$$ Let’s just put them in charge. [GT] $$$ Marc Fisher Has Some Choice Words And Shoves For Walter Noel [GuestofaGuest]

    / Dec 23, 2008 at 5:00 PM
  • News

    Wells Wachargo Official, Robert Steel So F*cking Out Of Here*

    DATE: Dec. 23, 2008 TO: All Wachovia Colleagues FROM: Robert K. Steel, President and CEO RE: End-of-Year Message

    / Dec 23, 2008 at 3:58 PM
  • News

    Just Stop Talking

    Here’s a clip of the investigative journalism team at Fox Business discussing footage of one of its reporters and a camera crew staking out Bernie Madoff’s accountant David Friehling’s house, during which Friehling’s son dumps water on the network’s van, and later, as DF files a complaint against Fox with the Clarkstown, NY police department. […]

    / Dec 23, 2008 at 3:37 PM
  • News

    I’m Sold

    M E M O R A N D U M Subject: TREASURY INVESTMENT IN AMERICAN EXPRESS Date: December 23, 2008 To: All American Express Employees From: Ken Chenault Short version. Long version:

    / Dec 23, 2008 at 3:13 PM
  • News

    More Madoff Family Photos

    It’s a day ending in the letter ‘y’ and you know what that means– another god damn picture of Andy and Mark Madoff fishing, or about to be fishing, or frying a fish or fucking a fish, ’cause god knows the dare was challenged and accepted during one of the inordinate number of expeditions these […]

    / Dec 23, 2008 at 2:20 PM
  • News

    The Sentry Experience

    / Dec 23, 2008 at 2:05 PM
  • News

    Cerberus Partners Holding Money Hostage

    David Faber reports that the firm has informed investors that it is suspending year end redemptions for up to one year. Apparently the letter writers took the much favoured ‘markets are wrong’ approach, which is excellent.

    / Dec 23, 2008 at 1:43 PM
  • News

    The Dark Side

    Yes, we do have our fun sometimes, poking jests (some kind and some unkind) at the personalities that make up the modern world of finance. But it gives us no pleasure to relate this particular story of apparent suicide. Rene-Thierry Magon de la Villehuchet, a founder of the hedge fund Access International Advisors, was found […]

    / Dec 23, 2008 at 12:58 PM
  • News

    Tontine Associates: Back. In. The. Game.

    Oh, hey, we didn’t see you there. Come on in, don’t be shy. Oops, mind the blood on the floor, we’re not yet done mopping that up. We’ll have that cleared in a jiffy, and in the meantime, if you slip and fall, don’t go trying to sue us, okay? Okay? I kid. Anyway we […]

    / Dec 23, 2008 at 12:31 PM
  • News

    Rumor Of The Day: Kinda Makes You Wonder

    At one time the integration you saw in a Madoff operation (self-administration) was probably considered a benefit, despite the fraud red-flag it should have raised. No more. We keep hearing rumors that fund of funds have been pulling back from the likes of DE Shaw, Millennium Partners and Caxton. Apparently, they are all self-administered. True? […]

    / Dec 23, 2008 at 11:51 AM
  • News

    Who Is On Erin Burnett’s To Kill List?

    Or, rather, Erin Burnett’s “To Harm” list? Those of you watching the last two minutes of Squawk Box this morning saw the heartwarming gift exchange between Erin Burnett and Mark Haines. I missed what EB gave to MH, but Big M apparently gifted his co-star with “a voo-doo kit.” Now, we were under the impression […]

    / Dec 23, 2008 at 11:25 AM

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