We don't like to get too self-referential here on Dealbreaker but today we must make an exception, for the good of all but specifically our subjects, whose well-being we are always looking out for (plus it's already the topic of a HFA article, so why not).
I don't think I have to tell you that times are tough and tensions are flaring. That much, unless you've been continuing to push the Q-tip despite resistance from your eardrum, should be obvious. Some people are taking it better than others, and some people are taking to downright badly. For instance, the owner of a hedge fund based in Greenwich. Let's call him Biff Basness. Business for Biff was once booming. Now, not so much. We, of course, are not the only ones who've pointed this out. Recently, we've done a few post about layoffs at Biff's firm, as is our wont. The most recent one noted that the firm was rumored to have laid off about ten percent of its research team, and the one before that passed on the chatter that Biff had let go of his secretary of ten years, and included a reference to the popular television show, Curb Your Enthusiasm (more on that, and why it's important, later). Apparently, Biff did not like these posts, nor did he appreciate the fact that some of his employees were throwing in their two cents, as well, which we gleaned from the comments he left on Dealbreaker. Sayeth Biff:
Posted by guest, Dec 04, 2008 4:37PMThis is Cliff Asness (for real, if you've read anything by me you can probably tell from the below):
All these inside references, yet so much ignorance and/or lies. Obviously some of these posts are bitter rants by people not here anymore, and obviously some are just ignorance and cruelty. Either way they are still lies.
Forget me, you are collectively maligning a lot of very good, very nice people you either don't know, or worked with and now enjoy lying about anonymously. [redacted employee name], [redacted employee name], [redacted employee name], [redacted employee name], [redacted employee name], [redacted employee name], [redacted employee name], etc. All nice/productive people you have no right to lie about. Yet who cares about right and wrong when there are anonymous cowardly posts to be made!
Well, I don't coddle or fear little men like you (or vicious animal liars like this Beth Levin creature - Beth, was "lair" a nice fair journalistic integrity neutral word?).
For good people we had to let go I feel very bad. For investors who are in our products that are having a tough time I feel very bad and intend to fix it. Frankly, for anyone who is in a tough spot I feel bad.
But for liars, and bitter former employees who were let go because we decided we needed you less than the people you now lie about (I'm not yelling at everyone who is not here anymore, just the cowards posting), and little men who get off on anonymous mendacity on the internet, ---- YOU and the keyboard you wrote in on. Sorry I can't be more eloquent, you deserve no more and will hear no more from me after this post.
I'm Cliff Asness and I approved this message. Who are you anonymous little liars? Why don't you come see me some time? Sign your name liars, I dare you. Then let's chat.
Nah, internet's a great place for anonymous ignorant fools who feel like tough guys in the know when they post their verbal vomit. Enjoy your fun while it lasts. When we go back to doing great for clients what are you going to do for fun? Well, whatever, I'm sure it will be dishonorable and cowardly.
- Cliff
p.s. Beth Levin, regarding your old post, one doesn't fire their secretary because they know terrible secrets. That's why one would keep their secretary. Neither reason applies here. I have no terrible secrets, sadly I'm that boring. You make up lies, and you can't even think straight enough to make your lies make sense. And, btw, you claim we're going under because of this "sign" (letting my secretary go). Well, we're not, not close. But, in that same article I believe you said we're "bleeding out the ass". Frankly, when a "lady" of the 4th estate writes that, you can bet it is a sign her pathetic website is not long for this earth.
Now, a couple specific points to address, and then, a grander takeaway. First off, Biff took issue with the "inside references" which were left by people with an obvious intimate knowledge of the firm. They seemed none too pleased with Biff, but we wonder if calling them ignorant bitter liars was such a great idea? (And sidebar: why were they so "bitter" in the first place?) Second, Biff proceeded to name check current employees at the firm-- was this great or bad idea number 2? Decide amongst yourselves. Third, Biff, I'm guessing unhappy with the subject matter of the post, called "Beth Levin" a "vicious animal liar." So much to parse here. A. The post reported the rumor that ten percent of Biff's research team, which amounts to a very small number of employees, had been laid off. And yet, the description of the author of the post would've been made one think we wrote that Biff had laid off 100 percent of his employees (in anticipation of shuttering the fund), and in lieu of severance, clown faced them all on the way out. So perhaps one ought to recalibrate his knee-jerk reactions. B. Biffala, no (level-headed, mature, non-crazy) attempt by you or someone from your firm was made to refute the layoffs, with the exception of the bit about the senior VPs, for which we immediately issued an update. Would that be because the ten percent layoffs were in fact true? Get back to me on that. C. Like I told HFA, if you're going to attack me with any expectation of being taken seriously, let's at least try and get my name right, k? It's right there, in the byline, under the headline. I'm not saying maybe you lack attention to detail, a fact could be used to try and explain your recent losses, I'm just saying, maybe you lack attention to detail, a fact could be used to try and explain your recent losses.
Next-- in his post script, Biff explains to me why would or wouldn't fire his secretary. According to Biff, one wouldn't fire his secretary because she knows his terrible secrets, that's why he would keep her. Here, we are in agreement! See the post Biff is referring to:
Laid Off Watch: AQRPosted by Bess Levin, Nov 12, 2008, 5:03pm
As you are likely aware, AQR has seen, how to put this, better, less ass bleeding days. But we had no idea things were this bad. Uncle Cliff is rumored to have recently sacked his secretary of ten years, and as every one knows, it's the secretaries who hold the key to your web of lies and bullshit and deceit, and you don't get rid of them unless you're about to go down for the dirt nap.
So reading comprehension-- not Biff's strongest attribute. But more to the point-- the bit about a "web of lies and bullshit and deceit," was sadly not a reference to Biff, but to Larry David, who delivers this line in the episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm entitled "Wandering Bear." On the matter of why he can't fire his assistant, Antoinette, Larry says he can't because, "...She knows everything about me. She knows my dietary habits. She knows all about my web of lies and bullshit and deceit."
Additional little things: "And, btw, you claim we're going under because of this "sign" (letting my secretary go)."
1. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sarcasm
2. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hyperbole
And: "...in that same article I believe you said we're "bleeding out the ass". Frankly, when a "lady" of the 4th estate writes that, you can bet it is a sign her pathetic website is not long for this earth."
My dear Biff, I was unaware that you were 250 years old, but I suggest that for the benefit of your firm, you get with the times and realize that females can have mouths just as filthy as your own.
Now, for the grand takeaway, which Biff and others might do well to heed. When you are the owner or manager or very senior higher up at a multi-billion dollar hedge fund, and you see a post you don't like, it'd be advisable to take one of two paths. The first, which most travel, is to ignore it. You oversee oversee billions of dollars-- YOU SHOULD BE ABOVE THIS. The second is to call me and say, hey, these are my thoughts on the matter, in an off-the-record fashion. If we got something wrong, we'll fix the error. If we didn't, at least you got to vent, in a non-public, non-embarrassing way. It would be inadvisable to a. leave your thoughts in a comment, and b. do so in a fashion which makes you sound batshit fucking insane. Why? Because, like I said, you sound batshit fucking insane, and that makes people, maybe your investors, slightly uncomfortable and looking for the exit. And also? Because you just took a post about a handful of employees being laid off and with your comment, made people think that things are much, much worse, as evidenced by you LOSING YOUR SHIT. Not even Ken Griffin did that. Even if things are much, worse, for your own monetary well-being, get a hold of yourself and act as if.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:18PM
First and long; didn't read.
Posted by Tapecracker , Dec 10, 2008 2:22PM
Eeeeeeesh, I'm outta this one... this could get ugly.
Posted by Seaman Bodine , Dec 10, 2008 2:23PM
Fuck - I wish I had worked there, so I could then go meet this dude and seriously enjoy beating down his smarmy fucking prep school ass.
Go compile some C++ douche bag...it'll do you some good in Bangalore.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:25PM
Beth put a girl-cock in that Harvard mouth...
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:26PM
Why did he put quotes around "lair"? Did he mean to say liar? Doesn't he have someone to proofread his rants? Say! There's a job for a laid-off ibanker. Proofing Cliff's rants.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:26PM
Asness considers himself a Renaissance man -- he's not just a quant, you know; he can write and opine on all matters of the day. Because he's so fricking brilliant and witty and clever.
Unfortunately, Cliff has the emotional intelligence of a preschooler.
BTW, AQR has a large long-only book as well as the black box ... how's that doing?
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:27PM
As the saying goes, "Never pick a fight with someone who buys ink in bulk."
Asness is going to get his Asness handed to him.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:27PM
Mr Asness needs to pull a very, very big stick out of his!
Do you know what gym he goes to?
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:27PM
Seaman - you wish you would have worked anywhere except for the ass-rape bordello where you spent you days before you got fired.
Posted by Seaman Bodine , Dec 10, 2008 2:30PM
@9
wtf?
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:31PM
who was the hot german/russian chick that worked at aqr this summer?
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:32PM
If any PR people are reading this, Bess is right. I've dealt with her off the record before and she's fair.
Don't let your clients/bosses comment or write unsupervised. Or reap what they sow.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:32PM
who was the hot german/russian chick that worked at aqr this summer?
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:33PM
I'd do a cost/benefit of this fight before continuing.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:33PM
I'm with Cliff on this one - he got annoyed at cockroaches on this messageboard and if someone said my firm was bleeding out of the ass i would be pissed off too. He just shouldnt have reacted, never fight with people that have nothing to lose.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:34PM
Bess we were wrong we love you:-)
Jimmy Cayne - Dick Fuld
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:35PM
12 What does she look like?
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:35PM
Cliff Cliff Cliff...why did you feel you had to write? not much going on? or an overwhelming sense of guilt about something? or did your boyfriend put you up to it, badgering you about being a real man?
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:36PM
People give this guy money to invest? Good luck.
Posted by girl , Dec 10, 2008 2:38PM
My alter ego Shaniqua is snapping her fingers all up in this piece- nice work, Beth.
On the other hand, my actual-ego loves a dude with the balls to say what he means, without employing the services of some idiot PR girl while he hides behind a curtain twiddling his thumbs; even if he does appear bat-shit crazy for doing so. If everyone kept it real a little, the world would be a much more colorful place to exist.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:40PM
Cliff,
Posting on message boards is a bad idea, just ask John Mackey aka "Rahodeb". Other than that, I think you're right, anonymous commenters are mean-spirited and malicious. Welcome to the internet.
-Benton F. Love III, archduke of Austria-Hungary
Posted by Seaman Bodine , Dec 10, 2008 2:40PM
@15
the guy runs a hedge fund - he charges 20% on performance that he can engineer under certain conditions, which tend to disappear pretty consistently, and at which time, he probably blames the market
meanwhile, he actually is worried about what someone, who he probably just fired, writes about him, on a message board...what about all the money he's lost?
douche bag
incidentally, what's he going to do when his shitty little fund is regulated, and thus, the straight press is able to write stuff about his now really shitty little fund, 90% of which will be inaccurate, because that's just the way the news cycle is...is he going to file lawsuits, instead of pussy style rants about how he'd meet anyone who wants to put their name up...all that tae-boe must be giving him a sense of toughness...or maybe he just finished jacking off to Fight Club and now he thinks he's a tough guy
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:41PM
17
tall, brunette, PhD candidate at some university
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:41PM
Bess, this is why you are my favorite of all Levins.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:42PM
OK @10, meant someone needs to give Asness a good old punch in the face, 'a 'la what Fuld got. That ought to reset his witty & clever sense of entitlement. Find this asshole at his Gym!
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:43PM
People ARE going batshit insane all around me. Seems to me the worst are those whose entire self-worth was related to their jobs. I have friends who have unemployed for 5+ months, but refuse to look for jobs outside IB/PE. Those are the guys who are truly fucked.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:44PM
@22 see #8
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:44PM
@20, W kept it real with the world. Look what he's done.
Posted by Seaman Bodine , Dec 10, 2008 2:46PM
@26 - no, i got your comment, i meant @9 - sorry
Posted by Seaman Bodine , Dec 10, 2008 2:47PM
@27
wtf?
Posted by AJ , Dec 10, 2008 2:48PM
Amazing work as usual by Ms Levin
Posted by HAM05 , Dec 10, 2008 2:48PM
girl, im reminded of:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6P3H5s-bhY
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 2:49PM
AQR's long only funds are way underperforming their benchmarks. Their long only funds use the exact same models as the hedge funds, and their hedge funds have been performing at par with Citadel.
Asness has got some balls. The guy thinks he can just barge in here, call out names and tell everyone what the fuck to do. Go make back some money you dumb shit.
Posted by Lowly Assistant , Dec 10, 2008 2:58PM
Haha, HAM05. I was hoping for the Wu-Tang, business meeting version, but it works.
So glad HFA picked this up.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:00PM
Biffie is keeping that shit real yo!
Who is crazy enough to invest with someone this stupid?
Posted by Seaman Bodine , Dec 10, 2008 3:05PM
the real story is the idea that people still read HFA
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:05PM
I think that Cliff may have been watching too much of The Wire (if that's possible)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39s1sveB3DY
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:07PM
@32....
Best. link. Eva
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:07PM
@36 No doubt
So many nauseating ads with way to much positivism.
Posted by VOL IS KING , Dec 10, 2008 3:07PM
@ Bess
Did Griffin call you himself? Was he crying? did he sob? Did he offer you anything for good coverage? is THIS the GOOD coverage? Did you get your money up front? Does he really sleep on a giant hamster wheel? Is his new found friendship with Dan Loeb the reason Third Point is down? Did Griffin infect Loeb with the fail? Have Ken's parents kept his old room the way he self it, you know... just in case he has to move back in?
Posted by girl , Dec 10, 2008 3:09PM
@ HAM - rawwr :)
youtube is blocked @ the office but i'll watch it at home.
@ Lowly- there is a Wutang, business mtg version of smthg? send.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:09PM
His Royal Asness has Spoken!
This is a difficult throw down to call. On the one hand, you have Cliff who has been abused for decades because he has one of the most ridiculous names in history - AND DID NOT DUMP IT! Hardcore for sure On the other hand you have Bess.
In final analysis, I still believe that the Pen is mightier than the Ass. Match goes to Levin.
Cliff, is toilet paper an assnessity?
Posted by Seaman Bodine , Dec 10, 2008 3:13PM
cliff probably feels a bit like this now, so he's visualizing a tougher persona
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-CI9VSvYO4&feature=related
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:14PM
There is nobody good left at AQR. All the good ones have moved on which is why they had to bring in outside academics in a hurry. The whole place is filled with B and C players who weren't good enough to get jobs elsewhere. Headhunters were flooded with AQR resumes back in march. Precious few managed to get offers. Of course, the management is badmouthing everyone who isn't there anymore. Do you think that words don't leak out you assholes? You wonder why the posts get increasingly more vicious?
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:14PM
If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge?
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:20PM
@ girl 41 - Here you go.
http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=11887&title=wu-tang-financial
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:20PM
@45: how were you wronged? I did hear that AQR was trying to screw people with noncompete contracts. No severance if you don't sign them.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:24PM
Amazing
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:26PM
I think Cliff suffered from horrendous teasing when he was a youngster.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:27PM
If it bleeds... we can kill it
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:32PM
Nice one Bess.
What a bad PR move.
Although, I am wondering maybe it is someone pretending to be Cliff.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:34PM
Bess: I am curious - what do you think Cliff actually expected you to do? Apologize? Retract everything and give him a low salaam? Delete the post?
That is what I really did not understand about the whole argument. He was getting angry not just at you, but at people saying (what he considered to be) mean things. It seemed only partially directed at you, and the rest directed at all the commenters.
So unless he expected us all to collectively apologize, or send out to Aux Delices for cookies delivered to 2 Greenwich, it eludes me what he was after.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:35PM
There is no way that was real cliff asness. The guy has a temper but he isn't stupid enough to be posting on a site like this.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:37PM
@53: sure he is..
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:38PM
@51, @53: I would bet that by now Bess has checked the IP address of whoever posted that and knows it's from AQR.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:39PM
52: if you work/worked at AQR you would have seen that the guy has anger and ego control issues. He feels entitled to treat anyone and everyone like shit and he expects everyone to shut the fuck up, take it in the mouth, swallow, and smile. He stepped onto a wrong turf this time.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:41PM
agreed with @55 and also, per the HFA article, it says AQR wouldn't confirm if it was him. if it wasn't, they'd flat out deny it.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:42PM
Zero bonus if you do not have a Ph.D. or if you are not a partner. Do not expect anything more than your base to hit your checking account on 1-31-2009.
No raise on base salaries either.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:42PM
come on bess, how can you believe that this is for real....
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:44PM
@59- if you've ever read DB, you know that Bess looks up IP addresses and can see which firm the comment is coming from. doubtful any employee at aqr would be retarded enough to impersonate their boss from inside the office.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:46PM
The poster is indeed cliff asness. confirmed by people who work there.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:48PM
@56: @52 here. I known Cliff, enough. We are close enough neighbors and have met enough times, yet every single time my s.o. and I see him out and about, he can't even be bothered to say "hello". He grunts. Seriously. We would hold out our hand to shake hello, he walks by and grunts. So, I have no doubt that he has major issues, and I am petty enough to be glad he is being shrunk down to our size.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:49PM
AQR slapped everyone with 6 months noncompete. In most cases they refused to pay for part or all of the 6 months period. They threatened legal actions to anyone who "violated" the terms effectively sabotaging people's job search. They knew the contracts have no merit but it didn't stop them from making empty threats purely out of spite.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:52PM
61 is right. It was a big deal at the firm. They also threatened to bring legal action against dealbreaker although such suit would have no basis whatsoever. I guess they still have some leftover management fee to try to bully people.
Their senior partners are trolling this site constantly.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:52PM
@63: they could be sued for preventing someone from practicing their trade. My brother had this at CSFB (when it still was CSFB). Those contracts are worthless. Plus, who's getting a job within 6 months anyway?
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:53PM
58, is that you JF? You cheap fucktard
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:57PM
@65 - is the job market that bad? how many months should i expect to be jobless?
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:59PM
63 is right. I know some people had their offers retracted because AQR was threatening with completely baseless lawsuits. It isn't a matter of whether such suits have merit. Who wants to hire someone with a lawsuit hovering over his or her head?
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 3:59PM
what's for dinner tonight?
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 4:03PM
@67 - Suze Orman said that it is taking the average person between 8-13 months to find new employment after being laid off. So, get comfy.
Posted by girl , Dec 10, 2008 4:07PM
Thanks @ Lowly Assistant!
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 4:08PM
8 to 13 months??? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 4:09PM
Suze Orman... talk about a wideclops.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 4:10PM
@72 - Yeah no shit. She recommended having a "bare minimum" of 8 months worth of living expenses saved, 15 months preferably. As if I can afford to save up a years worth of salary.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 4:11PM
Mr. Asness,
As someone in alternative asset management, I feel ashamed to be in any way associated with you or the behavior you have displayed. The vast majority of people employed in the industry are hardworking and respectable PROFESSIONALS, and we have enough negative attention directed at us without these actions of yours.
It is a given that these are trying times for the market, and the presence of panic and rumor mongering is lost upon no one. This environment does not however provide any sort of excuse for the way in which you have acted.
If you were so offended by what may or may not be factual statements published on a website, there are far more effective, let alone MATURE, ways to address the situation. I am curious as to whether you first attempted to contact any of the staff of Dealbreaker to rectify what you perceived to be untrue and/or damaging statements before embarking upon a path of childish name calling. In my experience in this industry, I can tell you that people respond far more positively when communicated to in a respectful and thoughtful manner, no matter what the circumstance.
I do not envy the people in your investor relations department who on top of interfacing with clients concerned about the markets, now have this to deal with as well.
-ST
P.S. I have no need to "hide behind" online anonymity, as you have accused the readers of this website. I have emailed Ms. Levin and let her know that if you wish to discuss this topic or my comments further, she would be free to offer you my contact information.
P.P.S. I would also like to briefly touch upon something else that bothered me about your comments. Mistakes, misspellings, and carelessness are completely inexcusable. One of the most important lessons I have learned from working in this industry, aside from the value of hard work and integrity, is the importance of ATTENTION TO DETAIL. I can recall instances of being harshly reprimanded by a VP or MD in my younger days for what I considered seemingly unimportant mistakes, like a forgotten comma or placement of a label on a pie chart. While it might have irritated me at the time, it is in no small part because of their impressing upon me the need for attention to detail that I have accomplished what I have, and I thank them for that. I am quite surprised at your careless and sloppy display given your experience.
Posted by Anal_yst , Dec 10, 2008 4:14PM
You stay classy Cliff Assnes!
What a freaking 'tard, seriously, how can anyone defend him? Anyone with 1/3rd of an even remotely functioning brain, if so compelled to dispell incorrect rumour, would take the high(er) road and contact the author/publisher discretely and directly.
Cliff = fail (QED)
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 4:16PM
Too long.
Made me sleepy.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 4:18PM
I would love to work for 75
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 4:21PM
keeping it real went wrong for biffie
Posted by Lowly Assistant , Dec 10, 2008 4:21PM
Girl & 46,
Wu Financial cracks me up, but the WKIRGW I'm talking about describes one Vernon Franklin. See:
http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=24435
Posted by Seaman Bodine , Dec 10, 2008 4:23PM
wow - even after 80 comments, the guy's douchiness hasn't even begun to fade
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 4:25PM
Cliff, if you think those "redacted" names are truly good then either you got names mixed up or you have severe weakness for asskissing. The guys you have surrounding you are nothing but a bunch of opportunistic yesmen. If Jim Simons walks into your lobby and yells "I will double whatever you make for the first ten guys who reach me!" Your 12 partners will be scrambling like race horses with their tails on fire.
they don't care about you.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 4:25PM
Everyone who have been laid off at AQR this far are non-PhDs. No wonder these low IQ can't find another job guys have the time to post these vicious comments here. What a bunch of pathetic stupid losers. Just use your tiny brain and maybe, you can figure out why you were the first to let go.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 4:31PM
@83- why hasn't cliff "IQ low enough to be leaving comments on DB" asness been fired yet?
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 4:32PM
@ 83 where did you learn how to write from, a PHD?
Posted by Seaman Bodine , Dec 10, 2008 4:33PM
@83
congratulations on holding on to your job losing lots of money on behalf of people
your PhD in Math will come in handy, when your dopey fund goes from 22bn to 300mm in about 2 months
see if you can find the correlation between number of words posted on an internet gossip site and your next drawdown
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 4:34PM
@83: Welcome back, Cliff!
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 4:34PM
That's clearly out of rage and low EQ.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 4:35PM
@83 is that you Cliff? Seriously, if it is, you have some out of control emotional issues along with obvious character flaws.
Go Seek Professional Help ASAP before you crack up completely, and crash and burn.
Attacking people for your mistakes, your errors and your lack of performance is not acceptable. Your performance is because of the PHDs around you, not because of the people you let go.
The Buck stops at your desk. Suck it up and deal with your failures. Blaming stupid uneducated people for your failures only makes you look worse. Its not about their tiny little brains... its about your out of control ego having to interface with reality.
-Not Cliff Asness
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 4:42PM
@75 - there really should be a comment before "given your experience." at the end of your equally silly diatribe. Just sayin'...
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 4:43PM
This thread has some HOF potential.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 4:44PM
83 is most likely one of the two Ph.Ds (or maybe they wrote it together) who got trashed in the previous thread. Bess won't let name names but if you are an insider you know which two fucking losers I am talking about.
Posted by Seaman Bodine , Dec 10, 2008 4:49PM
from PI Online
“(If you take) less risk, you can look like an idiot for quite long enough to be put out of business,” said Clifford S. Asness, managing and founding principal of AQR Capital Management LLC, Greenwich, Conn.
wow - wonder where that idiot fear is now
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 4:51PM
Seaman, AQR IR guys will tell you they have $20B under management. They won't tell you that number is about to fall off a cliff come end of december and into the first couple months of next year as lockups expire. They have already gated one of their funds.
They also won't volunteer overwhelming majority of the $20B is managed accounts money which yields fees of 30-40bps. That money is being pulled daily as the firm goes under a very public meltdown. What puny hedge fund assets they have they're so far under HWM there is no chance to make any performance fee. They suckered some investors into putting money in last year by giving away HWM of redeeming investors. And they gave away big fee discounts.
Absolutely everyone there is scrambling to find jobs. A head hunter I know has 27 resumes from AQR including 4 from their IR group.
The IR guys are real scum. AQR has some 40 different funds and they're marketing exactly TWO funds that are barely breakeven for the year. The rest are too horrific to even acknowlege
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 4:54PM
Sounds like Mr. Asshole should be more concerned with running his fund than replying on DB and addressing Bess. Perhaps there is a correlation to this and the funds return.
But Bess - we love ya and nice way to fire up this shitbird. Makes for great reading.
AQR - TO ZERO.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 4:57PM
Hey "B" as in the the Big "B" who is the head of legal and brother of Cliff A (gee, how did this guy make partner?),
83 is obviously posted by AF or BK. Did you not say in your previous post that anyone posting here would be subject to disciplinary actions? Not only are they getting involved in a needless mudslinging, they are also offending their less academically endowed colleagues. This is bad for company morale. Please put the IPtracing technology work and reprimand the offender. Posts like that isn't helping the firm.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 5:00PM
is Todd Pulvino still there? kind of a gasbag from KSM...
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 5:03PM
What is KSM?
Pulvino still runs the convertible arb fund at CNH (Chicago, Northwestern, Harvard - seriously this is what "CNH" stands for)
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 5:05PM
When's the IPO?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 5:05PM
Kellogg School of Mangement
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 5:08PM
like many folks on this board, I have nothing of value to add but I just wanted to post given that this post may go down in history
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 5:08PM
99, THAT IS A GOOD ONE
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 5:10PM
mehtinks dealbreaker should be banned at AQR....that will solve it all
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 5:12PM
I think i know who posted 83. He drives a porsche and likes to wear tight pants.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 5:17PM
104 - who, The Jesus?
http://topidol.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/the-big-lebowski-3.jpg
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 5:21PM
"He can get a little full of himself, but most of the time he can be brought back to earth with a small, friendly jab."
- NYT reporter Joe Nocera, on Asness
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 5:23PM
Reporters are like sellside analysts - they have to kiss ass to get exclusive interviews.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 5:23PM
Cliff:
Never complain, never explain.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 5:25PM
What are the chances AQR sues DB and DB is forced to reveal IP addresses of posters. What if AQR offers money to DB for IP addresses, will they reveal identities?
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 5:27PM
109: even if you have IP address you cannot track down to a computer level. Unless you have been posting from with AQR then you deserve to get canned for being dumb
Posted by Seaman Bodine , Dec 10, 2008 5:29PM
@109
you really think people are afraid of AQR? they won't even have rev's to pay lawyers in 3 months...seriously, it's like having a non-compete with amaranth
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 5:30PM
AQR is known for making empty threats of litigations and I am sure they have already tried with the dealbreaker. IP log won't do them any good in tracking down offenders unless they have been posting from AQR work computers.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 5:32PM
@109
Really? Pay DB to find out who's trashing talking the managers? You mean with investor money?
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 5:34PM
@109
Really? Pay or sue DB to find out who's trashing talking the managers? You mean with what's left of the investor money?
Posted by Seaman Bodine , Dec 10, 2008 5:49PM
if bess can promise me a direct email exchange with Cliff, I'd pay her to publish my IP
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 5:54PM
AQR is committing a slow form of suicide with this "marketing" event... How embarrassing to bill yourself as the smart guys in the room, and then to turn out to be nothing more then a cry baby leveraged ETF fund for idiot investors.
Its too bad Mr Assness cant grasp how to put the "Hedge" back into HedgeFund. His performance during the Big Event shows that his market neutral approach was a "SAD" joke, a marketing gimmick, words rambled on to paper to sound self important. He is basically giving QUANTS a crappy name.
I honestly wonder if he will ever grasp that "Cliff Asness Blew UP AQR" not his employees. Na, with the ego he carries, he will need a scrap goat for his own failures because he is too smart to made these type of mistakes himself.
I can see how history will remember him already... Cliff Asness ~ he said he was a hedge fund manager, Butt it turns out he was only an Ass Clown instead.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 6:12PM
Can we at least all agree that Cliff ASSness is automatic entrant into the Douchebag of the Year finals?
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 6:19PM
AQR, representing the finest minds the Boof Schoo of Bidness can produce.
Posted by Anal_yst , Dec 10, 2008 6:32PM
@ 117
I'll second! Someone care to move the nomination?
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 6:49PM
At a minimum Cliff has now learned why you don't participate in anonymous forums/commenting on the net. There is no positive that can come of it and in the case of a news/rumor type site there are far better avenues. I know plenty of much somewhat lower profile, less educated, and less intelligent people that grasp this and execute perfectly on it.
A direct verified contact with object of "said rumor" is worth something in that it is essentially a exclusive semi-interview on the topic. Judging from what I've seen Dealbreaker is pretty fair and as an aside not crazy enough to overlook the value. The comments section, although entertaining, is not as friendly a place nor as advantageous.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 6:56PM
Any BA or BS can lose millions, but it takes a PHD to lose billions...
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 6:59PM
@120, agreed but that would be based on Cliff being smart enough to grasp that he just got his ass kicked by a little girl. I am not sure that Cliffy is smart enough to realize it. Just because you call people names, does mean that you are any different then what you are calling them.
In fact his personal actions are such that its pretty clear he is actually a Moron. Even an imbecile would have already realized they were doomed, he appears to be incapable of realizing reality.
That is not the signs of a Renaissance man, they are the signs of an idiot over his head and floundering the moment the spot light actually exposed his actions for what they where. Petty and Stupid... that describes him pretty well.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 7:16PM
Wideclops had a vision of a can of whoop ass for @122 for the Bess "little girl" comment.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 7:44PM
If Asnes was always such a clown on a fundemental level, then why wasn't he called out before this maelstrom happend? The guy did well for a while, but is experiencing a downturn. That's not to say though that I'm defending his actions or his strategy. It just seems as though many, many commenters are jumping on the "kick Asnes in the butt" bandwagon.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 7:51PM
guess this shuts-up those who thought Bess went soft... can you imagine the look on Assness' face when he reads about himself clownfacing his employees? ("What is this drivel... you, come here! What is a 'clownface' [minion shows Assness 'clownface' in urban dictionary]... Zounds! Does this troglodyte not know that I am Athens in this Melian dialogue???")
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 8:17PM
Wow...I was one of the skeptical ones on the original thread think it was some BO IT dude at AQR. So, this really was Cliff. That is so f*cked up.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 8:22PM
There IR team is going to have fun with this. But since it is the only group with any women I bet they can just dangle them in front of clients and hope to distract from this mess. They weren't hired for any other reason. They aren't smart. I will bet money at least one of them is sleeping with a senior douchebag.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 8:48PM
"Beth" Levin, I love you. As is my "wont." [Heart, heart, heart]
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 9:02PM
just google imaged him....my god what an ugly troll
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 9:28PM
@109 Truth is an absolute defense to libel.
Posted by Seaman Bodine , Dec 10, 2008 9:35PM
@124
wow - it's a bear raid on poor cliff...maybe he can get the SEC to ban message boarding for a few weeks
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 9:42PM
Can someone briefly explain AQR's strategy? Are they all alg's like Renaissance or are there human beings at work too? (I gather they rely heavily on quants)
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 9:42PM
The pikes (pikers?) are out. Ouch.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 9:49PM
I could buy and sell your sorry asses.
- Steve Cohen
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 9:54PM
@Steve, How does that Porsche feel parked sideways in your ass?
Who was the wideclops that suggested that trade to you?
-Not Steve
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 9:55PM
Cliff has got Ned Beatty's good looks.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 10:07PM
It's amazing how a person can have a high IQ and an incredibly low EQ. Obviously he has anger management and ego issues. While he may have sown the seeds of his own destruction, it's very painful to watch someone self-destruct in public.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 10:13PM
@137 you have a high GQ where G stands for Gay.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 10:48PM
OK, now for this special Dealbreaker Board 2-for-1 combo. Mr. Asness featured as a BOOTH GSB alum in 2005.
http://www.chicagogsb.edu/news/2005-06-10h_asness.aspx
You just can't make it up some days.
"Clifford Asness, (MBA ’91, PhD ’94), is not your typical hedge fund manager according to a June 5 cover story in the New York Times Magazine. Not only does he speak out in a profession usually known for low-profiles, he believes hedge funds can do something other than just make the rich richer. Asness sees them as useful tools for institutional investors who want to diversify their investments and protect themselves from market swings."
"The model Asness developed results in a portfolio that is “market neutral.” Using masses of current market data available, his fund is equally balanced between long and short positions. Not only does it provide diversification, but the result is positive returns with less risk than the overall market, according the Times. That situation is very appealing to institutional investors -- many of them university endowments – who have seen the value of their holdings eroded by market downturns."
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 10:51PM
But wait, there's more:
http://www.chicagogsb.edu/magazine/29/3/fivemins_1.aspx
What do you consider your greatest accomplishment?
Keeping our firm together during a disastrous start, and then being right about the bubble of 1999. We were putting our money where our mouth was, risking our financial lives and convincing others to do so, which was equally important because if nobody believes you, it doesn’t matter if you’re right.
Also, having two sets of twins in a year and a half.
What’s been your most humbling experience?
Go back to the previous answer. When you are on the floor cleaning up something rather disgusting at 3 a.m., it is very hard to feel like a master of the universe!
Professionally, though, it’s the flip side of the same bubble. Losing clients a ton of money in the first year and a half we were in business, even though we were eventually proven right and eventually made them more than that back, losing that was a very humbling experience—humbling in terms of realizing that markets may not be smarter than you, but can beat you to death even if you are smart. Markets are humbling things to try to beat, and managing other people’s money is a real responsibility. When you don’t do it well, it’s not easy to have to go back to them and explain yourself .
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 10:59PM
"The bride, 30, was until last month an administrative assistant in the bond division of Goldman, Sachs & Company, the investment bank in New York."
C'mon, Cliff, really? Administrative assistant? Although I suppose better than a wideclops from HR.
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9400E5D71439F936A2575BC0A96F958260&scp=1&sq=asness&st=cse
Posted by I am a Dude , Dec 10, 2008 11:25PM
@141
he was obviously just banging her at GS till she put the squeeze on him.
oh and Cliff, Bess (miss levin) has my contact info also. she will be happy to provide it to you so we can have it out in the alley behind the bar.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 11:34PM
Last. And wow. That is HOF stuff Bess/Beth. Not Long Enough. Did Read.
Posted by guest , Dec 10, 2008 11:35PM
@83 - how do you feel knowing the yield on my Wachovia checking account has outperformed Cliff's fund? How many years does he have to go back to break even with my checking account? If only I had the chance to pay 2 and 20 for his guaranteed hedge against capital gains...
G.E.D. > PhD
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 12:02AM
We should have a new poll... How does The Assman escape his Dante like hell he has built.
Answer A)The Assman Mans UP and turns AQR around showing his brilliance.
Answer B)The Assman Blows Up and AQR is the new poster child for stupidity.
Answer C)The Assman Grows a pair and accepts everyone challenge to a dual. Film at a Eleven.
Answer D)The Assman goes to Congress and asks for a bailout and new law to make the quest log in.
Posted by trojan , Dec 11, 2008 6:09AM
@125
funniest comment of the year
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 6:19AM
Cliff,
Please discontinue giving fund managers a bad name. Things are rough enough in Greenwich as it is, we don't need the NY Post coming up the Avenue querying for opinions on managers like you. The Internet is a tool of the weak. Act like a man. Even I did.
John Costas
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 7:30AM
In 10 years people will look at Cliff Asness's rant here on Dealbreaker as the deathcry for the hedge fund industry.
Ms.Levin, congratulations for getting the exclusive.
Cliff, you have emotional IQ of a spoiled rotten 4y old child. Perfect for when you stay home all day to play with your kids when AQR folds up in 2 months.
If you are a pension fund consultant who is still recommending AQR, you should be charged with utter incompetence and neglect.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 7:36AM
Guys be careful! The other assness (the stupider one) will hunt you down! This is from the other thread
96 Posted by guest, Dec 04, 2008 4:42PM
The firm is going to conduct an internal investigation through IP tracing and all personnel in question would be subjected to disciplinary actions. B
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 8:16AM
@124: AQR never did well. They blew up once in 1999. Then had a mediocre run from 2001 to 2004. They built up low margin, low volatility managed accounts business that track indices. Cheap fees but supposedly sticky money from dumb pension fund consultants. 80%+ of their assets are in the managed accounts category. They have been explaining their pathetic performances in 2006 and 2007 as being long the crisis and how they always underperform in bubbles. And then guess what happened in 2008 when the bubble burst.
AQR was never good. Their repuation was built on illusion.
Is Cliff Asness smart? He is. Can he make money? For himself and his minions yes. Is he a moron? You all know the answer.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 8:18AM
127, AQR has the most hideous IR team in the hedge fund industry. However, there are definitely two females in the firm screwing senior guys (and even one junior guys on the side).
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 8:27AM
121 is right! PhD = delusion of intellectual superiority = oversized loss
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 8:41AM
AQR, please make sure to punish AF for post 83. That was not cool. It is going to result in a civil war within the firm. The analysts are fucking irate.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 8:46AM
No more of this Gayness anymore then?
http://www.econ.yale.edu/~af227/bwbb.htm
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 9:20AM
@141, @142. I have to defend Laurel here. She is a nice woman and she puts up with a LOT. Insult Cliff (I am no fan of his, I was the one who posted about him "grunting" at me rather than saying Hello) all you want, but she's a good sort and very low-maintenance, non-Greenwich, which is refreshing.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 9:24AM
Let's keep non-AQR folks out of it guys. And no pot shots at families. Even mobs won't go there
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 9:26AM
This is the best thread of the year!
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 9:26AM
@154, who is the d-bag on the left? is that DGK and his aston?
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 9:29AM
Cliff Assness + Chicago Boof = Crazy Good Alpha
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 9:34AM
I agree -- many of these Chicago "Booth" fucksticks have to lose billions before people realize something ain't right?
Not to mention the emotional retardation of those people...
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 9:35AM
The AQR analysts are steaming angry by the post made by a certain PhD. The revolt is near.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 9:40AM
Is Aaron Brown still the head of risk management? Maybe he should stick to playing poker.
What is risk management at a place like AQR anyway? Does Brown shake up the black box like a Magic 8 ball?
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 9:56AM
Analysts, the partners have decided they put up with you enough. There will be no bonus for any of you. The partners won't give a fuck if any of you quit but of course none of you will since there is no job out there for glorified IT guys.
AF is a made man. He has a guarantee in the 7 figures and is beloved by the partners. You guys fucked with a wrong man. The PhDs provide insightful research unlike all you drones who crank out the same routine on excel all day without a trace of independent thought.
You are all fucked except that one asskisser in GAA who already negotiated a deal for himself (15% raise). He has been telling the partners every gossip, bitching and moaning he has been overhearing.
You guys should have kept your traps shut.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 10:01AM
I guess getting laid off wasn't so bad after all.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 10:02AM
@150, 124 here. Thanks for the clarification.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 10:05AM
Chicago sucks! MIT is the best!
The brass rat will shit all over you
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 10:08AM
@162
Aaron has been a prolific book reviewer on Amazon.com during his employment with AQR. The performance is not his fault. Nobody would listen to him. He is probably the smartest, wisest man in all of AQR.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 10:16AM
Is 163 for real?
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 10:26AM
People that can - do. People that can't - teach. Send your Chicago/Harvard boys back where they can only warp young minds and not wallets. Send hayseed back to the South and strap his bitch wife in the back of the El Camino for the ride.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 10:35AM
Does the "A" in AQR stand for Amaranth?
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 10:36AM
168: whenever someone mentioned a specific number or person on AQR related threads on dealbreaker it has been rarely inaccurate. I believe there was a poster who predicted last wednesday's layoff about a week ahead. Obviously people with inside knowledge are active here. The really surprising thing is how much ill will AQR has accumulated. When GS has a layoff you get 130 posts. When AQR, a firm with headcount about 1% of GS you get multiple threads with 100+ posts each. Speaks a volume about the culture there.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 10:47AM
hi 168,
The management would prefer more analysts resign voluntarily because they do not want any more negative publicity from layoffs. That's why they only cut 6 people in the last round. Plus they do not want to scare off investors with huge staff cut.
They would happily replace every outgoing analyst with a new PhD. But if there is no resignation early next year be prepapred to get pushed out because not only do they think you are incompetent, but now they also clearly realize you are nothing but a bunch of immature, whiny, malcontents.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 10:48AM
@ 163 You PhDs might want to stay in your ivory towers and crank out white papers on arcane mathematical subjects because in the real world in which investors demand returns regardless of whether the broad market is up or down -- that's supposedly why you deserve the 2 and 20 -- the "insightful" research has amounted to little more than intellectual masturbation.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 10:51AM
I bet 163 was posted by the AQR management to set bonus expectation low. Either way there will be nobody getting paid.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 10:59AM
hi 172,
This is 168. I am not an analyst at AQR. I have nothing to do with the fund. I was merely curious at to whether this is actually how you're conducting business. The answer (unbelievably) seems to be a resounding yes.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 11:10AM
I'm antsy. Let's crank up the HP filter.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 11:18AM
163, who negotiated 15% raise
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 12:19PM
I work for AQR in equity derivatives; vanilla and exotics. The morale is horrible - those of us who have earned on out books, some spectacularly, are in fear that our performance will be socialized. I went to Chicago and greatly respect Cliff, but something needs to be done to ease the minds of the rainmakers.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 12:22PM
Moral of the story: Your individual numbers are meaningless if your firm eats c*ck and burns 44% of it's AUM on mean-reversion/short vola. F*ck, I should've gone to SAC.
Sincerely,
{178}
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 12:23PM
178 is a liar. there is no exotics trading at AQR
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 12:23PM
@ 178 From each according to his ability, to each according to his need. And the partners each need a new Porsche, bitch.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 12:24PM
Moral of the story: Your individual numbers are meaningless if your firm eats c*ck and burns 44% of it's AUM on mean-reversion/short vola. F*ck, I should've gone to SAC.
Sincerely,
{178}
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 12:24PM
Moral of the story: Your individual numbers are meaningless if your firm eats c*ck and burns 44% of it's AUM on mean-reversion/short vola. F*ck, I should've gone to SAC.
Sincerely,
{178}
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 12:26PM
180,
There are six of us in equity vol. Whether you believe is largely irrelevant.
{178}
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 12:34PM
Cliff, don't bother running an IP trace, as we learned in undergrad about utilizing proxies.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 12:34PM
@178: if you are for real, you must have a death wish. There's only 6 of you, Cliff could lay all of you off just out of spite. Be careful.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 12:37PM
178, you are saying index variance swaps are "exotic?" I guess for a chicago guy that is complicated enough.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 12:39PM
177: you know the guy. that one with glasses and no friends.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 12:42PM
@186, thanks for the concern. Perhaps I am support geek, perhaps not. In any event, it wouldn't be prudent to kill the only department making monies.
@187, You SUNY guys have to let it go... Rentech was an outlier. SUNY = short bus.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 12:50PM
188: that description narrows it down to 75% of the firm.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 12:52PM
@178- there are 13 partners in the firm. Revenue this year will be about 70% down from last year. Do you think these guys will forgo their bonuses to pay the little guys? There will be nothing left for anyone who doesn't have a contract.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 1:00PM
12... oh yes, Brad the red-headed DNA match, how could I forget Bradley. Begs the question why anyone would continue in the buy-side when you aren't guaranteed you will eat what you kill. Fucked up, brothers.
{178}
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 1:14PM
You junior AQR employees have balls. There an no jobs right now for a laid-off quant, PhD or not, Chicago or not, J.Aron alum or not.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 1:18PM
How much do you think brad makes? some think he might be right after the other 3 founding partners. Not bad for a brooklyn law grad. DNA lottery trumps intelligence and work ethic every time.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 1:22PM
Did anyone read Cliff's article in the Nov 08 issue of Institutional Investor? He is quite prolific.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 1:25PM
178 does not work at aqr. it is all lies.
Posted by mrBrown , Dec 11, 2008 1:26PM
1178: I run a hedge fund and I am hiring quantitative traders. Send me your resume and a picture of your starfish.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 1:27PM
@193, I would've stayed in sell-side and hedged my ops if I expected to get ass-raped. $150k + a kiss on the cheek and a whisper in my ear? By the grace of Ganesh I saved my 2007 monies.
@194, Not bad for a guy with congenital microcephaly. Nepotism in a meritocracy.
Time to grab the Purell and back to work.
197... I know you from Jersey! Mah-Di-Son!
Posted by mrBrown , Dec 11, 2008 1:28PM
178: You insult my offer? Jihad upon you!
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 1:29PM
200th!!!!
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 1:30PM
AQR seems to be in a great shape. The managing partner is getting into a flame war on some tabloid website, the underperforming analysts are mad they're getting pushed out, and the high performing analysts are mad they're not getting paid.
Here is a fund that will fold in 3 months.
Posted by mrBrown , Dec 11, 2008 1:33PM
200: If i find you I will sh*t in your mouth.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 1:36PM
is the x-mas party still on at megu tribeca? i haven't had a paycheck in 8 months and i am really hungry.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 1:38PM
202-
good luck with that. you must be a pretty huge badass-- writing "sh*t" instead of "shit" on an anonymous internet board is the mark of all fearsome warriors.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 1:42PM
@198: OUCH ! You got screwed, but $150k+ looks like the new 300k+ for quants in '09
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 1:45PM
In the ii article, Cliff failed to mention what pushed the relative valuation & mom spreads together. Perhaps it was the $750 billion flowing into quant strategies between 2000-2007. We'll all be fine, making 2@20, if that happens again... I'm just sayin....
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 1:48PM
All joking aside, those of us in steerage are going to get raped on 1/25. The buy-side is toxic with a half-life of at least a decade. I suppose I'll have to scrape up $5MM somewhere and start a discretionary shop.
@205, believe it or not, I am in the top decile of the subspecies. One new hire from Stony got a 90k package.
{178}
Posted by mrpink , Dec 11, 2008 1:51PM
LOL. This is absolutely hilarious.
-mrp
Posted by mrpink , Dec 11, 2008 2:04PM
I should apply at AQR.
178- Is that you Bhavesh?
-mrp
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 2:04PM
SPY flipping modality here. This zero vola is disconcerting. Back when I am safely on the MTA.
{178}
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 2:09PM
SPY flipping modality here. This zero vola is disconcerting. Back when I am safely on the MTA.
{178}
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 2:09PM
i highly doubt a fund manager would say things like "nah" or have to assert that he is the real cliff asness over and over. Bess, just my two cents.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 2:09PM
209, wtf? ugh.
Posted by mrpink , Dec 11, 2008 2:15PM
213-
wtf. Ugh?
-mrp
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 2:26PM
MrP,
I think you nailed the guy and he wilted...
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 2:41PM
193, just like there is steak and there is steak. There are phds and there are phds. These are finance phd we are talking about.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 2:47PM
@212- your two cents are worthless, as it's been confirmed that it's him.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 2:48PM
@212- if you know anything about asness, you know that he is an ego maniac prone to not at all thought out outbursts like this. and considering their performance is in the toilet, it's not surprising he got set off.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 2:48PM
There will be another layoff on the second wednesday of January. The same day GS will have its third big round of cuts.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 3:10PM
Finance PhDs ain't worth shit as a Quant.
I would take a math or physics PhD any day. Even graduate or professional school is just American bullshit. All the successful European hedge fund managers only have a bachelor. They are too busy making money for that American degree crap.
Posted by davidmerkel , Dec 11, 2008 3:12PM
Bess -- did you check the IP address of the guy who posted as Asness? That would be significant to state explicitly. If it came from someplace other than AQR, then this story is dubious.
Posted by Bess Levin , Dec 11, 2008 3:17PM
@221- If you've ever read this site, you would know that yes, I checked the IP address moments after the comment went up, over a week ago. Think I'd write this post if I hadn't gotten confirmation out of that test?
Posted by mrpink , Dec 11, 2008 3:24PM
davidmerkel-
I'm sure she has verified that, else she wouldn't have taken the time out to write her eloquent reply to him, which has now made it to most news outlets covering finance.
-mrp
PS: 178, Bhavesh... call the CBOE floor.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 3:31PM
Now AQR is trying to do damage control by posting all these remarks trying to discredit the original Asness remarks.
It is Cliff Asness. AQR is chickening out like the cowards they are. They "will not confirm" if the posts were made by asness. Do you think they won't categorically deny if it wasn't him posting?
AQR has nothing better to do than troll on dealbreaker all day. For a fund down 60% ytd you would think they would have something more worthwhile to do for their investors.
These posts are nothing compared what Biff spews out in daily e-mails to employees.
Posted by mrpink , Dec 11, 2008 3:35PM
224-
-60 is the new +20
-mrp
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 3:39PM
Kabiller is an arrogant weenie, too
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 3:41PM
The witch hunt has begun in earnest. AQR is now contacting those recently laid off and threatening to renege on severance (measly 3 months base salary) as well as to enforce the feared 6 months lock up unless they provide information on those making offensive posts on this board.
Sue Quattro will be calling you. If you see a 203 number don't pick up.
AQR has some class.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 3:46PM
Wow, that sounds totally legal, and a good use of AQR's time. I sincerely hope their LPs take a nice hard look at the insanity of this thread.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 3:46PM
@220:
I strongly disagree.
Math and Physics PhDs have no sense whatsoever about how or why markets behave the way they do.
Look at Graham Capital, for example, a ton of Physics and Electrical Eng PhDs wasting everyones money because all they know how to do is filter data!
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 3:49PM
If I were a partner at AQR, I'd be more than a tad peeved at Asness for drawing this kind of attention to the firm at a time when the last thing they need -- being down 60% YTD -- is more attention. They have enough explaining to do to investors without having to understand why the managing partner is getting in a pissing contest on the frickin Internet.
Coup d'etat time
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 3:51PM
@227
Sue Quattro:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suzie_Quatro
She sure didn't look like this when I got my pink slip. She certainly wasn't holding a guitar at the time.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 3:54PM
Graham is a joke!!!
AQR might have a bad performance and a lunatic managing partner who evidently went insane. But you cannot dispute that these guys have a sound and thoughtful research process.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 3:57PM
Guys, leave sue q alone. She is just a poor HR lady who is forced to do dirty work that the management does not have the guts to do themselves.
Posted by mrpink , Dec 11, 2008 4:11PM
233-
Some HR women are heartless. Refer to wideclops.
-mrp
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 4:14PM
@227: if that is true, then someone call the NY Post and HFA. Because a witch-hunt shows that Cliff's next step is tin foil around his head. Yikes, paranoia much?
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 4:23PM
@235: I am shocked but it is certainly plausible.
Few weeks back one of the AQR partners (someone who's last name starts with an "F") called up his buddy at GS who is a big boss to husband of an AQR analyst. "F" asked the GS guy to bully the poor husband into 'fessing up whether his wife has been posting on dealbreaker or if she has been leaking information to outsiders. Keep in mind this is right before a large layoff took place at GS. Imagine how scared this guy must have been. He only graduated from college two years ago.
AQR. lacking in performance but making up for all of that and then some in character.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 4:24PM
@229 You straw man with Graham.
Look at RenTech and BGI. The two most successful quant money managers I know. All Math and Physics PhDs. Not a single Finance PhD in sight, because the Finance PhDs shops are a big joke like Asness' AQR or Scholes' Platinum Grove.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 4:33PM
@Cliff,
If 227 is real... AQR need's to realize some of us here, attacking your dumbass, never worked @ AQR. However, you and your organization are some seriously petty fucking assholes and obviously lack any social skills or risk management.
You realize, never mind its obvious your too stupid to realize your really cutting your throat with these actions. The next group will just tell HR what they really think of your firm, and once on the outside they make this last group seen content on the way out.
-Not Cliff
by the way, what is AQR's total return after expenses looking like since inception? What is their average net return per year since inception? What has 2 and 20 bought the smart money?
Posted by no_slappz , Dec 11, 2008 4:39PM
Quiff Crassness earns himself a story in the NY Post. That's an achievement.
Posted by no_slappz , Dec 11, 2008 4:39PM
Quiff Crassness earns himself a story in the NY Post. That's an achievement.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 4:39PM
237 Don't know RenTech, but BGI is enhanced index. That is, they adhere closely to index weights, make only small bets away. Not high stakes quant in any sense, which gets them tons of assets but at relatively low fee levels. Therefore no comparison with AQR
Posted by no_slappz , Dec 11, 2008 4:39PM
Quiff Crassness earns himself a story in the NY Post. That's an achievement.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 4:39PM
I am totally speechless. Good thing I didn't get offer from that hell.
Posted by no_slappz , Dec 11, 2008 4:39PM
Quiff Crassness earns himself a story in the NY Post. That's an achievement.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 4:42PM
Is this going to 300 posts?
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 4:45PM
BGI has a bunch of Econ/BSchool PhDs in their stock selection group. RenTech has completely different strategies and is not comparable. Go to any decent fund with similar strategies, Wellington, Numeric, etc and you will find plenty of Econ/Finance PhDs. @220, if you love Math/Phy PhDs, good for you, there are plenty of them around and they are dirt cheap.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 4:46PM
@243 Renaissance Technologies is the best in the quant biz for 2 decades. And BGI's hedge fund business is bigger than AQR's, so I don't know what you mean by lower fees. BGI 2/20 AUM >> AQR 2/20 AUM.
Also, if you gave an IQ test to the Berkeley Math & Physics PhDs at BGI vs. Chicago GSB PhDs at AQR, which group do you really think will have the higher average IQ ?? Enough said.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 4:48PM
BGI has a bunch of Econ/BSchool PhDs in their stock selection group. RenTech has completely different strategies and is not comparable. Go to any decent fund with similar strategies, Wellington, Numeric, etc and you will find plenty of Econ/Finance PhDs. @220, if you love Math/Phy PhDs, good for you, there are plenty of them around and they are dirt cheap.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 5:05PM
BGI lost all the serious talent years ago. They tried to fill that hole with big names from the academic world, but most of them got burned out and went back to teaching. Its a revolving door / meet grinder there.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 5:11PM
AQR >> BGI
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 5:14PM
Quant = douchebag
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 5:18PM
AQR < Chicago Booth < Flaming Pile of Dogshit
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 5:23PM
WTF is a "meet" grinder?
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 5:57PM
@247, do you suffer from microcephaly? WTF does IQ have to do with a PhD track? Obama is a 125 on Wechsler and graduated Magna from Harvard Law.
All you're attempting to prove is that linear-types suck the mighty cock at discretionary trading.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 6:35PM
I heard that Bernie Madoff has a PhD from Chicago Boof -- is that true?
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 7:22PM
madeoff with the $
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 10:54PM
A.Q.R. = A Quazy Retard
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 10:55PM
A.Q.R. = A Quazy Retard
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 11:05PM
Hey Assface -- you've made so much money from sheer dumb luck that you have no right to complain about anything, ever. Now shutup, go back to your McMansion, and try to act like a man, you whiney douche bag.
Posted by guest , Dec 11, 2008 11:11PM
@229 what are you talking about?
Graham Diversified Fund is +20.30% YTD.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 9:09AM
Cliff Asness and AQR are the biggest douchebags in the industry filled with douchebags. The asshole partner referenced in post 227 is Jacques Friedman. He is the No.4 man in the firm as the head of the stock selection group and his profile is on AQR's public website. Bess, is this senior enough to mention by name? What a fucking scum to try to pull shit like that.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 9:19AM
@260
Just one fund out of how many funds?
Physics and Math PhDs are way overrated.
Try reading Olsen and associates book: the people have no clue about any real-world supply-demand relationships, and most math/physics PhDs are like that. Well, Electrical Eng PhDs are even worse.
RenTech Math is not your usual type. The guy has perspective and reads everything under the sun. Standard math and physics PhDs only know about degrees of freedom and data interpolation.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 9:23AM
All graham uses is simple CTA stuff - MA crossover, etc. if they make money its by luck
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 9:31AM
@262 Do you consider DE Shaw an exception too??
Let's see, the best and biggest quant funds are run by non-Finance PhDs. All the Douchebag Funds are run by Finance PhDs. See a pattern here??
By the way, I went to Chicago too. I have nothing by respect for the Econ PhDs and their incredible weedout rate, but the Finance PhDs were all Douchebags like AQR.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 9:39AM
@264
No opinion on DE Shaw
But I know A LOT of funds run by Physics and Math PhDs eating their vomit as we speak.
The reason you don't see as many finance PhDs in the industry is that unlike Physics and Math PhDs, Finance PhDs can get teaching jobs that pay way better than an entry level hedge fund job. (A starting salary for a Finance Prof fresh out of a PhD is about $200K, depending on school), and that includes the summer off and requires teaching only 3 course per year.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 10:09AM
Applied Quantitative Reacharound
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 10:31AM
These guys are thieves
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 11:04AM
Brad, you had posted this message on Dec 04
"The firm is going to conduct an internal investigation through IP tracing and all personnel in question would be subjected to disciplinary actions. B"
And yet it is obvious to us that this particular poster who is obviously a current AQR employee (and let's face it everyone knows who did it) has gone without a reprimand.
"Everyone who have been laid off at AQR this far are non-PhDs. No wonder these low IQ can't find another job guys have the time to post these vicious comments here. What a bunch of pathetic stupid losers. Just use your tiny brain and maybe, you can figure out why you were the first to let go."
While many posts on this board have been inexcusably flammatory and downright nasty, above post has been particularly divisive for the firm as the attack was launched by a current employee aimed at current employees. We demand to see some action taken. We definitely have the means to track the poster here and something should be done if the poster can be confirmed.
Sincerely yours,
-AQR analysts
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 11:04AM
on my iPhone again! AQR has blocked access to this site, expect comments from employees in the evening
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 11:06AM
on my iPhone again! AQR has blocked access to this site, expect comments from employees in the evening
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 11:44AM
Is AQR down 60% in the hedge funds or the long-only funds?
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 11:46AM
Is AQR down 60% in the hedge funds or the long-only funds?
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 11:48AM
Is AQR down 60% in the hedge funds or the long-only funds?
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 12:03PM
What happened to efficient markets?
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 12:09PM
Do I hear 275? 280? 300?
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 12:55PM
@262, an acquaintance of mine busted Olsen's option product to the tune of $400k. Peanuts, but not bad considering their $20k limits.
I wouldn't place a lot of faith in anything Olsen has to say.
{178}
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 12:58PM
Obviously, I am in agreement
{178}
Posted by mrpink , Dec 12, 2008 1:02PM
Bhavesh!
call the cboe! asap!
-mrp
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 1:07PM
Pinky, work the cboe floor with the meth-heads? No worries, I have enough to establish prime with GS. Don't really want to sell my soul for 2+20, so I may go with 1+25%. ;)
Posted by mrpink , Dec 12, 2008 1:08PM
Bhaveshy,
Cliff would like to see you.
-mrpinky
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 1:09PM
Mr P, who is this Bhavesh! character and why are you telling him to phone home? Regular stupid readers wish to know.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 1:13PM
There is no bhavesh at aqr you morons
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 1:52PM
wow, 282... you're ready for CSI:NY. You can walk right on and you've got the lead. Bro, you're UNCANNY!
{178}
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 1:58PM
Ok this is on the down low so nobody spread this around too much. I may or may not have worked at AQR but after I may or may not have been recently laid off, I may or may have not taken a shit in one of the file cabinets in one of the out of the way offices when no one was around. I made sure I had Mexican the night before.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 2:00PM
Ok this is on the down low so nobody spread this around too much. I may or may not have worked at AQR but after I may or may not have been recently laid off, I may or may have not taken a shit in one of the file cabinets in one of the out of the way offices when no one was around. I made sure I had Mexican the night before.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 2:00PM
Shoot! I mean I may have had Mexican. Damn almost blew my cover.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 2:06PM
Is AQR down 60% in the hedge funds or the long-only funds?
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 2:08PM
Is AQR down 60% in the hedge funds or the long-only funds?
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 2:10PM
Is AQR down 60% in the hedge funds or the long-only funds?
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 2:14PM
The Madoff news is going to make investors even more skeptical of "black box" investing styles. Bad news for the AQRs of the world.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 2:17PM
@290
Yeah, like "white box" styles can generate any money anymore. You must be on drugs.
Anything that makes money will still attract investors. Too bad for you douche. Go back to your union in Detroit.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 2:31PM
Greetings from Nigeria!
My name is Umbuktu, I ran an online wire fraud scam from my mud hut in Nigeria. You know, those emails you get in your folder claiming you won the Lotto and I need your bank information...
Well I just want to let you know that A$$ness has been wiring me money from Greenwich for YEARS! The guy always falls for it everytime! What a douche! Now me and my twenty wives can move into a gold hut and listen to gangster rap. Hooray!
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 2:39PM
I went to the same college as Ms. Levin and a mutual friend emailed me this page. I read it dutifully (along with most of the comments), and feel I've greatly wasted my time.
Luckily I'm unemployed so time isn't money at the moment.
Why is this getting such a response? I just don't see the point. The company sounds like it's a mess and the manager seems to be driven by emotion rather than reason at the moment, but still, in light of what's going on right now, where's the story? Is anyone here invested with AQR? Didn't think so...
It would suck to be a former (or current) employee of AQR given the circumstances, but they're not alone in this environment. By the time the smoke clears almost 1 out of 2 people who worked for a hedge fund aren't going to be working for a hedge fund anymore - or ever again for that matter.
There are so many more substantive things to talk about. Bernie Madeoff with the money? Failure of the SEC to properly regulate anything that doesn't involve mom and pop hiding money in Switzerland? Increased regulatory oversight as a response to the failure to regulate in the past?!?
AQR, and many other quants, highlight the failure of an environment and culture that seeks soothsayers and sages. We call them Ph.Ds instead, and still look to them for prophecy even if fundamental common sense (remember A is A?) tells us the opposite. The sooner we put Bernanke and the like back in their ivory towers can we return to prosperity through free market principles.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 2:49PM
The last stand of the 300? Xerces, is that you?
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 2:51PM
The last stand of the 300. Xerces, is that you? It's getting darker now that I have some arrows stuck in my back.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 2:52PM
@293- hmm and you know that no one here is invested w/ AQR b/c why? seems like there are a significant amount of people posting here with the firm. Also, re: Bernie Madoff-- check out 90 percent of the posts today. The one you just commented on, this, was posted one Wednesday, and not since then. Grow a brain cell.
Posted by KLW , Dec 12, 2008 2:52PM
@293-- The coolest people on the internet are the ones who complain that a website isn't discussing something after reading one article on an unrelated topic. There's been fully a dozen posts on Madoff in the last few days, and weeks if not months of coverage of changes in regulatory oversight. Since you're unemployed, you may want to spend your time reading back in the site a bit before you comment on anything else.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 2:54PM
@292
No worries. AQR got rid of all those pesky black guys that never worked in the mail room. Especially the ones from Nigeria.
Posted by mrpink , Dec 12, 2008 2:56PM
LOL....
299 Bitches!
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 2:56PM
I failed it
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 2:58PM
I went to the same college as Ms. Levin and a mutual friend emailed me this page. I read it dutifully (along with most of the comments), and feel I've greatly wasted my time.
Luckily I'm unemployed so time isn't money at the moment.
Why is this getting such a response? I just don't see the point. The company sounds like it's a mess and the manager seems to be driven by emotion rather than reason at the moment, but still, in light of what's going on right now, where's the story? Is anyone here invested with AQR? Didn't think so...
It would suck to be a former (or current) employee of AQR given the circumstances, but they're not alone in this environment. By the time the smoke clears almost 1 out of 2 people who worked for a hedge fund aren't going to be working for a hedge fund anymore - or ever again for that matter.
There are so many more substantive things to talk about. Bernie Madeoff with the money? Failure of the SEC to properly regulate anything that doesn't involve mom and pop hiding money in Switzerland? Increased regulatory oversight as a response to the failure to regulate in the past?!?
AQR, and many other quants, highlight the failure of an environment and culture that seeks soothsayers and sages. We call them Ph.Ds instead, and still look to them for prophecy even if fundamental common sense (remember A is A?) tells us the opposite. The sooner we put Bernanke and the like back in their ivory towers can we return to prosperity through free market principles.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 3:01PM
@301- my, but you're stupid. since you posted your same asinine comment, i shall repost my reply to you, and also the one from KLW, which made better points that my own.
Posted by guest, Dec 12, 2008 2:52PM
@293- hmm and you know that no one here is invested w/ AQR b/c why? seems like there are a significant amount of people posting here with the firm. Also, re: Bernie Madoff-- check out 90 percent of the posts today. The one you just commented on, this, was posted one Wednesday, and not since then. Grow a brain cell.
Posted by KLW, Dec 12, 2008 2:52PM
@293-- The coolest people on the internet are the ones who complain that a website isn't discussing something after reading one article on an unrelated topic. There's been fully a dozen posts on Madoff in the last few days, and weeks if not months of coverage of changes in regulatory oversight. Since you're unemployed, you may want to spend your time reading back in the site a bit before you comment on anything else.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 3:05PM
@298
Greetings from Nigeria!
This is Umbuktu again my friend! I never worked in this mail room you speak of. I work in a small village in Nigeria. I run online fraud scheme. You have me mistaken for rotten scum from Niger. Very different.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 3:06PM
Jacques is walking around the office checking out who has iphones. This is not a joke.
very very sad.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 3:13PM
@296 & 297 - I was commenting on the lack of direction of both the original post and the now some 300 comments...
No doubt other things I brought up have been discussed elsewhere in the site. I have zero interest in being the "coolest guy on the internet" and quite frankly was seeking any unifying reason why I should give credence to anything stated by anyone thus far.
Like I said, I was directed here by a mutual acquaintance of the author and will likely not return for the quality of discourse.
I just wanted to gain something from my time beyond mindless gossip.
As per investors in AQR, did I miss a post where they spoke up? Their opinions would likely be worth a read, so please let me know where they are...
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 3:16PM
what gives?
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 3:21PM
@305--hmm, yes, it is a good idea that you don't return here. are you seriously begruding dealbreaker, which posts breaking gossip and important information one irreverent post. It's obvious why you're unemployed. Also, if you can't get that when Wall Street is crumbling, and hedge funds are closing up (that was cute when you tried to use the 50% of all hedge funds will be gone as evidence of you being an insider), the fact that a man who runs a multi-billion dollar fund is literally losing his mind in the comments section is an important thing to shine a light on, you obviously can't be helped.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 3:26PM
Cliff, cut the shit. You're not Lord McAllister and this isn't Oxford. You wore short pants at UC and a Jansport backpack. WTF are you kidding?
{178}
Posted by KLW , Dec 12, 2008 3:27PM
We're sorry you were offended by all the gossip on a site that calls itself a "Wall Street tabloid." Be careful if you see a copy of Playboy, there might be naked ladies in there.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 3:41PM
Someone should send a copy of this thread to all of AQR's LPs so they can make an informed decision when the lockup comes off. (If the returns aren't enough.)
Bunker mentality at the top now ... it's the partners versus the bookrunners and analysts. Tick tick tick tick tick ...
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 3:49PM
I heard that Asness and Kabiller were sighted having dinner with Madoff at L'Escale last week. If AQR investors are lucky, they were only there to have a torrid buttsecks threesome at the Delamar.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 3:52PM
@303
Ah, Chief Umbuktu it is you!
Greetings from 3rd Floor, 2GP, Greenwich CT! I though you were one of those saps that were under the misguided impression that this shit hole is an equal opportunity employer. I will send you wife #21, my daughter, along with my bank details.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 3:57PM
@302 - buddy, I push the button once like it says. I can't help the double post. You may have noticed other double (and triple) comments elsewhere in this mess.
@305 - I suppose I am "begruding" dealbreaker. I have little interest in gossip and don't know what you mean by "important information one irreverent post." What one irreverent post and why is it obvious why I'm unemployed?
I don't need to claim to be an insider (unless you're hiring?) and I'm not trying to be cute. It's duly noted that you didn't dispute what I'm saying, but chose simply to attack me.
For the record, I also fail to see "the fact that a man who runs a multi-billion dollar fund is literally losing his mind." He acted with poor judgement but this is a long way from evidence of losing his mind. The Andrew Lahde letter to investors earlier this fall was much more telling of a man who'd grown unfit to interact with mainstream society. In the process it was also incredibly instructive as to the causes of our current predicament.
Cliff's comments are not important. Shining a light on this isn't helping anyone. This is just an excuse for a bunch of off-topic rants by former employees, disgruntled workers, and anti-free market bitches.
I obviously can't be helped by the likes of you. Why don't you go spread some more rumors about layoffs at SAC or redemptions at Citadel or something?
In Ace Ventura spirit, I think I heard the toilet flush...someone must have killed a turtle...
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 3:58PM
President of Exchange: Cliff, your brother is not well. We better call an ambulance.
Asness: Fuck him! Now, you listen to me! I want trading reopened right now. Get those brokers back in here! Turn those machines back on! Turn those machines back on!
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 4:14PM
Cliff likes to say "fuck" a lot. you should read his e-mails. he is a very impolite individual.
hide your iphone.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 4:16PM
@309 - I took no offense. I understand the tabloid aspect and simply hoped that the gossip would be followed by anything substantive. Your comment hammers home the point that I'll find none of that (substance) here, and I don't plan to make this a regular stop.
My surprise isn't the naked ladies in the Playboy. What I'm saying is I'm not going to go there for the articles...
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 4:22PM
316, there is quite a bit of substance here if you are a current employee, ex-employee, a family member of current or ex employee, a sellside broker who has business relationship with aqr, a potential investor and finally a current investor.
and quite a bit of entertainment value if you work/worked in finance.
some people would say watching football is a waste of time. some would beg to differ. if you dont see relevance here quietly move along to activities that interest you more.
Posted by KLW , Dec 12, 2008 4:23PM
@316--Oh, Amherst students...how I don't miss all of you taking yourself so seriously en masse :)
Love, a Moho
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 4:29PM
its been almost two hours since this dude (301) posted, claiming he went to school with the elusive Ms. Levin, and no one has pumped him for details? What's up with that?
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 4:33PM
@316- is it that you're stupid or just stubborn? you still don't get it, do you? this was ONE post. you asked for something more topical, substantive. well, genius, check out the OTHER posts from today (and, like it's been said, this particular post is from Wednesday). Also dealbreaker regularly breaks news about the HF industry that is categorically not gossip, and is one of the only sites that regularly publishes performance numbers and letters to investors. You're just to thick to see it (since you've read ONE post out of thousands).
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 4:39PM
@317 - yes, and in my earlier comments I sought the comments of investors especially. That would be substantive. Other than a couple employees (former and current), the others you lay out have been rather quiet (if they're here at all). If you're getting entertainment value out of this, I suggest you watch football or possibly pop in Ace Ventura instead. Regardless, I'm going to move on (apparently not quietly...) and I'll take it up with Bess if I run into her.
@318 - my, my...it's been far too long since I've woken up next to a moho...and, for the record, mohos aren't helping the problem of amherst guys taking themselves too seriously. You've seen what happens when one walks into blanchard...
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 4:43PM
What exactly is AQR?
I was recently placed in charge of garbage. Do you have any that requires disposal?
I am very happy to be here.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 4:43PM
@321 - you're suspiciously like the person that is the subject of this thread. You say you'll move on but you never do ... h'mm
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 4:44PM
@321-- you say you are looking for something substantive. now, it has been pointed out that this is one of the more gossipy posts on db, and that you won't find something substantive on THIS particular post, but on the THOUSANDS of others. for instance, in your first post, you asked where was the talk of madoff? well, how about the 15+ posts on madoff from today? stop being so purposefully dense. it's really grating.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 4:47PM
@319 - I'm slightly uncomfortable with being "pumped" but I have no reason to lie.
@320 - Clearly stubborn, and the jury's still out on stupid. Since earlier I have visited other posts, some of which have value. I have yet to read a comment, however, that brings anything to the table. As a news breaking entity, this may have value, but as a forum for a discussion this is fluff.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 4:50PM
321, I get your point. It would indeed be very interesting to see some posts from real AQR investors about what they think. But unfortunately this is dealbreaker not charlie rose. The whole point of this discussion is that no self respecting industry professional would have made a non-anonymous post on this website in the first place. And now we are mocking the guy for his lack of judgment.
If you are looking for an intelligent debate you came to a wrong site. Ms.Levin would be the first to admit that.
Take care
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 4:54PM
@325- then stop disparaging the site, read the posts, not the comments, and STFU. Also, weren't you leaving, like hours ago?
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 4:57PM
@321- you've become tiresome. go away, like you said you were going to do hours ago.
Posted by KLW , Dec 12, 2008 5:03PM
Don't flatter yourselves; it's mostly just the novelty factor. If a giraffe were wandering around Vals, you'd turn and look too.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 5:03PM
@324, 326, 327 - Points taken. As I said earlier I don't read Playboy for the articles, and you all have edumacated me on what to expect from deal breaker.
I did look for a good Madoff discussion, and it would sure suck to be the kid who thought he was kicking ass in a down market. That post was worth the read...
Point also taken on ignoring the comments. I am stubborn so this will be a tough one. For the record I pulled the following comment out of the above mentioned Madoff post:
"Posted by guest, Dec 12, 2008 3:27PM
Anyone ever picture commenters on here as little, barking/ankle-biting Pomeranians?
---Frequent commenter"
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 5:12PM
hmm... are there anyone from AQR that went to Amherst?
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 5:14PM
@329 - LOL. I would turn, but do you think it would eat the food?
Apologies to all if I've been, "grating." I mean no offense and if I return in the future I'll refrain from degrading comments. I know what I'm getting and I appreciate all of your good spirits.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 5:16PM
@332- great. now leave. you claimed you wouldn't be returning and yet you have, at least 5 or 6 times.
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 5:19PM
"I was commenting on the lack of direction of both the original post "
are you retarded? the direction of the post was quite obvious-- put a lunatic hedge fund manager who thought there'd be no consequences to losing it in the comments section of a blog in his place. even the new york post, which did a story on this yesterday understood that. are you dumber than the Post?
Posted by guest , Dec 12, 2008 5:38PM
wow, suck me right back in...
@333 - my apology doesn't cover you. You're just mean spirited.
@334 - Same to you. No apologies to assholes. I covered you're comments previously.
...and now that I know what I'm getting here, I may return. I simply implied this wouldn't be a first stop for substance...
Posted by johnny_CDS , Dec 13, 2008 1:53PM
And now for some nerdish stuff: let's talk about *correlations*...
Is losing my temper on a blog such a good signal of the fact that I am going bankrupt?
Would you bet on it?
Posted by guest , Dec 13, 2008 2:56PM
@336
In this market, of course I'll bet on it.
Posted by johnny_CDS , Dec 13, 2008 7:31PM
There is a lot of cheap talk in here, and I do not see any strong signal of anything...
And the supposed CA does not write very differently from the one quoted on a NYT blog, so perhaps he is the real CA.
But then: exactly because he writes with a very similar style, then I do not extract any useful information about the fate of AQR.
EFFICIENT MARKETS RULE!
Posted by guest , Dec 13, 2008 7:58PM
@338, Selective choice in events... step back Johnny and look at the picture from a point of view that his results have been dropping while the number of locations where he has posted increases...
The ratio of his posts in public to the ratio of his reported results says he "blogging posts" is a leading indicator for AQR's near term results.
Posted by johnny_CDS , Dec 14, 2008 8:26AM
@339, this selective choice would tell you something if ranting on a blog is a very time-consuming activity.
Which is not, if you compare it to the one of devising and implementing investment strategies.
Or to gardening, skiing etc.
Posted by guest , Dec 14, 2008 5:38PM
wow.. so this is what its like to be in wall street? fun!
im a college student in finance trying to study for finals but got distracted by this AMAZING thread.
i can't wait to get into the real world so that i can start writing on threads like this all day instead of trying to make my clients money...
by the way, these threads probably aren't substantive to you guys, but it's been helpful in teaching me about who's who in the industry, what their fund strategies are, and how they're doing currently. LOL crazy huh?
Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 8:58AM
Cliff, for Gods sake - just go away already.
.. do you not know what an IP address is?
Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 10:37AM
Fuck AQR and Chicago Boof as a staff, record label, and as a mothafucking crew. And if you down with AQR, fuck you too!
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 8:28PM
@1-343 FAG
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 3:56PM
@344 - DOUBLE FAG
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 11:45AM
It's been ages since we've heard the wisdom of Cliff Asness. I'm guessing that he's either reviewing the firm's algorithms, jerking off, or both.
Posted by guest , May 24, 2009 5:28AM
His Ass-ness admits to posting comment in the WSJ (and smashing computer screens in the office).
http://tr.im/mfjJ
I find it absolutely incredible that there're actually people out there who're actually leaving their money in AQR. For better or for worse, perhaps that's just living up to the name "land of opportunity".