It's been nearly a week since Bernie Madoff admitted to some minor accounting issues at his firm, Madoff Investment Securities. It probably seemed like a good idea at the moment, since (hopefully) in doing so he'll spare the younger Madoff generation from going to prison, which this fish will be relieved to hear. But in that time he's incurred the wrath of every Jew in New York and Palm Beach, including Steven Spielberg, fueled speculation that he in fact bears foreskin, and apparently finished the job that a certain mustachioed Austrian could not. And he's most definitely going to have to shoulder the guilt of every paper cut this guy sustains. The only thing that's consoled Big B while he remains holed up in his 64th Street apartment (stop by) are his cigars and wife (the mastermind of this whole thing?). And neither the cigars nor the wife will be available in high supply during his stay in prison. Clearly Berns has realized this, just like he's also realized that old men don't do so well in the big house. So.
For the ignorant: Sam Israel .
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 10:48AM
Anyone know what's happening with 1st year associate bonuses this year? Thanks!
(1st year MBA associate in levFin at a top-tier BB)
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 10:48AM
Too attemptedly suicidal. Didn't read.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 10:48AM
@1- get a new joke.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 10:49AM
@2- israel never tried to kill himself. he FAKED killing himself. jesus.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 10:50AM
I'm willing to bet he really does end up eating a bullet.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 10:51AM
He's gonna blow his brains out.
Posted by Clown Capital , Dec 16, 2008 10:51AM
His kids are fucked for the future anyway. It's like having the last name "Hitler" or "Wilkes-Booth". I mean who the fuck would have wanted their last name to be "Ponzi"?
Person 1: "Hi, my name is _ _ _ _ Madoff. You know, like the guy who screwed over alot of people back in 2008..."
Person 2: "Any relation?"
Person 1: "Well...uhhh..."
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 10:52AM
my mama always said, 'Life was like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get.'
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 10:54AM
doesn't israel have a non-extradiction policy for jews to any country where they would be prosecuted?
thatd be my guess
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 10:58AM
Some rich guy mob connections is going to put out a contract on his life. He is a marked man.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 10:59AM
@1 --- ask your boss.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:02AM
Pardon him. For the children.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:02AM
If he is not on his way to being a veterinarian in six weeks, he will be dead.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:04AM
Suicide is probably the likeliest option, sadly.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:04AM
You find out who's swimming naked when the tide goes out.
~From the Hot Tub in Omaha
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:04AM
So here we have another wall street fraud happening in front of us. Its a total of 50 billion in a Hedge fund. Does not go as far as the Subprime but that was a true Paulson(Ponzi) scheme.
Is anything on Wall Street Legit? Or is all your paper just a Ponzi scheme?
I wonder how many more Hedge Funds are like this, just waiting for an accountant who has a sliver of ethics to blow the whistle.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:06AM
@7 Or "Bin Laden." But Bush took care of his clan by flying them out of the country on 9/12 when the planes were supposed to be grounded.
Corrupt SEC.
Corrupt (Evil?) White House.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:07AM
He will disapear and Israel won't extradite.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:09AM
18 Like "Crazy Eddie" Antar?
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:09AM
My mother said I was a "failure" long ago, so I never had to cheat to win recognition and then go to jail.
Thanks, Mom!!
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:13AM
actually, he can probably stay out of jail on bail, tie his day in court up for a few years and pass on naturally.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:14AM
Wow! There are "Hooter's" in China !!
http://www.ajc.com/services/content/business/stories/2008/12/16/chinahooters.html
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:16AM
Except that the life expectancy of a healthy male his age is more than a "few years". More like 10-15
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:20AM
Please. Prison in Danbury is practically a country club. He's not doing hard time at Rikers. He'll be in a minimum security prison where he can write his memoirs and file his appeals. All while having visits from his completely, totally innocent sons.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:24AM
Surprised we don't even have a hint yet of where all the money went. Could be that "only" a few billion went to Bernie, rest is just a big redistribution scheme among the investors. And good luck with reversing that mess.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:25AM
Is this the end to the powerful Israeli lobby and by proxy Israel?
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:27AM
#17, get back in the water and swim back to Cuba.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:30AM
@17
www.911truthisgay.org
Go fuck yourself
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:31AM
Israel won't shield him; he made the unforgivable sin of stealing money from other Jews.
PS Eddie Antar tried to hied in Israel and it didn't work. He still did time in the US.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:31AM
26 You'll fund that many believe that the "powerful Israeli lobby" is in fact a destructive force for Israel. Not the members of the AJC, the readers of Commentary and their bretheren who supported McCain (cause he's better for Israel), but def among the more mainstream.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:33AM
9 here, i actually bothered to look it up... israeli extradition protection only applies to people who were citizens prior to the crime. the murder case that made it famous was by a son of a guy who was from there so he claimed citizenship. my bad.
Posted by Tapecracker , Dec 16, 2008 11:35AM
@25
Diamonds, baby... the only way to launder
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:35AM
The authorities should lock him up to be assured that he will face justice for his crimes. Otherwise, he'll just eat a bullet and be done with it. He's already proven himself to be completely selfish.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:36AM
@25: He was a lousy investor. He made bad, wrong bets early on and kept going. There were no "1-year lockups" - people asked for their money back and got it.
So, figure 10%-20% of the money went to "lifestyle" - and that's $5-$10 bil - the rest to his playing the market, badly.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:40AM
Everyone suspects his sons are in on it so there is no point eating a bullet now... he really has to hang on through the trial and try to carry as much of the guilt as possible.. as soon as the trail is done and the verdict is prepared he will be chewing on a shot gun....
that is the respectable way to go.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:40AM
Israel won't shield him; he made the unforgivable sin of stealing money from other Jews.
PS Eddie Antar tried to hied in Israel and it didn't work. He still did time in the US.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:45AM
@34 - He didn't lose $50 billion!!
It was a ponzi scheme. He paid off old investors with new investors' $, but told those investors that they were making 10-15%/year. At 10%/yr, money doubles in 7 years. So if somebody gave him $10 million 20 years ago, he would have reported it being worth ~$80 million now and that notional is the amount that would be counting in the $50 billion. However, he never really made that investor $70 million in profits, so the actual cash loss was only $10 million.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:48AM
@27,28: Name me one thing that the Bush Administration has done with competence and purity of heart? One thing? Bush will go down in history as the worst US President of all time, worse than Hoover. He should be tried for war crimes against humanity. His administration had destroyed the budget and any hope for our generation of living better than our parents. I sincerely hope you crooks are taxed to h@#. Hope you enjoy the Obama Administration. Suk it.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:52AM
the anti-semetism in the comments of those articles is disturbing.
and i'm not even jewish.
Posted by polizeros , Dec 16, 2008 11:54AM
>Some rich guy with mob connections is going to put out a contract on his life.
Maybe he IS a rich guy with mob connections.
He didn't do it alone.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:55AM
28, finish college and expand your vocabulary. Then get out of the fast food business.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:58AM
@16
Did you say ethics?
Bwaaahahahaha!
Clearly you don't work with anyone in finance.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 11:59AM
Jewish lightning hits PB real estate market..
http://www.palmbeachpost.com/business/content/business/epaper/2008/12/15/a4b_madoffre_1216.html
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 12:00PM
Can anyone explain to me how Bernie Madoff is alleged to have made money in this scam?
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 12:00PM
Jewish lightning hits PB real estate market..
http://www.palmbeachpost.com/business/content/business/epaper/2008/12/15/a4b_madoffre_1216.html
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 12:00PM
#38, for the guy that got elected for change how many Clinton appointees are hopefully going to be appointed? Yeah, we all gonna suk it. Our Community Organizer President will pull something out of Oprah's hat.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 12:04PM
@46 It's impossible that our Community Organizer can possibly be worse than Bush.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 12:05PM
someone needs to look closer at eric swanson and Madoff's niece. The niece was director of compliance for Madoff. Her husband swanson was in charge of compliance for Ameriprise when it got accused by the state of New Hampshire for offenses that are eerily similar to what Madoff got away with
Ameriprise Financial charged with fraud
By Aaron Siegel
October 23, 2007
The New Hampshire Bureau of Securities Regulation has accused Ameriprise Financial of breaking state securities laws by forging and tampering with documents.
The complaint, which was posted on the regulator's website, alleges that the brokerage company also failed to deliver nearly 500 financial plans, conducted unapproved sales contests and intentionally limited compliance oversight.
Additionally, the Minneapolis-based brokerage company was accused of failing to adequately release all fraudulent activities to the state of New Hampshire while it was under supervision by the state and by an independent consultant in 2005.
The regulator said that the company could face penalties and client restitution of up to $10 million.
As a result of the action, which was the largest in state history, the company has been under heightened supervision by the state and by an independent consultant.
Swanson left Ameriprise 3 months later for his current job.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 12:20PM
Rich, smug, lazy bastards who thought they were set for life and "smarter" than everyone else with the "Jewish T-bill". Serves them right. Del Boca Vista III finally will become affordable.
-LeftWing.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 12:26PM
TO: Madoff
From: Israel
You're dead to us. Broke the hearts of so many Jews. Not welcome here.
Posted by diablo , Dec 16, 2008 12:45PM
Bernie will end up in Mexico, and declared dead over there after paying a few bribes.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 12:46PM
someone needs to look closer at eric swanson and Madoff's niece. The niece was director of compliance for Madoff. Her husband swanson was in charge of compliance for Ameriprise when it got accused by the state of New Hampshire for offenses that are eerily similar to what Madoff got away with
Ameriprise Financial charged with fraud
By Aaron Siegel
October 23, 2007
The New Hampshire Bureau of Securities Regulation has accused Ameriprise Financial of breaking state securities laws by forging and tampering with documents.
The complaint, which was posted on the regulator's website, alleges that the brokerage company also failed to deliver nearly 500 financial plans, conducted unapproved sales contests and intentionally limited compliance oversight.
Additionally, the Minneapolis-based brokerage company was accused of failing to adequately release all fraudulent activities to the state of New Hampshire while it was under supervision by the state and by an independent consultant in 2005.
The regulator said that the company could face penalties and client restitution of up to $10 million.
As a result of the action, which was the largest in state history, the company has been under heightened supervision by the state and by an independent consultant.
Swanson left Ameriprise 3 months later for his current job.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 12:53PM
diablo @51. what happened to...
"
Entry: Liveblogging The Obama Event
posted by diablo
Nov 09, 2008 4:08PM
Dealbreaker has become a total wasteland since Carney departed. It now reads like a support group for the KKK. This is not what Wall Street is about, so I don't see this DB enterprise lasting much longer. It was sort of fun while it lasted.
"
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 12:56PM
Senor Madoff: There's always a place for you in Venezuela, my friend. You would be held in place of high honor among our many thieves.......
Hugo Chavez
Posted by diablo , Dec 16, 2008 1:00PM
@53
That was my evil twin Oscar. Are you Bess or EP?
@52
Swanson worked for the SEC until 2006. He married Shana in 2007 (her second marriage). Swanson was the assistant director in the SEC's Office of Compliance Inspections and Examinations' market oversight unit in Washington.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 1:13PM
@10: If I was going to go to all that trouble - and I am neither rich or connected to any organized crime syndicates - I wouldn't put a hit on him, I'd put a hit on his kids so I could look at his face at their funerals.
If I was feeling charitable, THEN I'd put a hit on him.
If you're going to seek vengeance, don't fuck around, that's my motto.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 1:13PM
Can we officially rename it a "Madoff" scheme and let that poor bastard Ponzi rest in peace?
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 1:17PM
@57: I think that we should define "Madoff Scheme" as "a variant of the Ponzi Scheme where significant amounts of the investment in the scheme come from sources who are themselves managing the money of others." That FOF business just bit a lot of people right. In. The. Ass.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 1:18PM
Hey @56 - good to see you weigh in on this Charles! So is this the Gasparino definition of vengance.....best served hot & bubbling like a minestrone????
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 1:23PM
Look at that face...he's got an honest face...
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 1:23PM
@41
I did finish college but I am in the "fast" food business - someone has to trade commodities.
Any use of complex vocabulary on a finance blog is gauche.
I'm sure the good people of Merriam's would be thoroughly impressed with your brilliant wordmanship.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 1:25PM
Look at that face...he's got an honest face...
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 1:28PM
@61, go settle your trades big shot. Amazing a financier of your quality has time for us.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 1:30PM
This guy owes a lot of unpleasant people in Europe a lot of money.
The only way I can figure he wanted bail is that he has a death wish.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 3:54PM
I knew a guy who was related to a guy who knew Mr. Madoff. He was nothing like this in person or to the general public; always a complete gentleman. But apparently word got around that he was a complete pervert behind closed doors; a real degenerate. I don’t think this has much bearing on what he did, but I certainly wouldn’t excuse his behavior either way. I’d almost like to think he’d enjoy prison.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 3:55PM
@22.
Every time I have been there, I have never seen anyone who could work there.
Hopefully they brought a doctor with the wings.
Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 3:55PM
@22.
Every time I have been there, I have never seen anyone who could work there.
Hopefully they brought a doctor with the wings.
Posted by guest , Dec 17, 2008 7:26PM
#29 said... "Israel won't shield him; he made the unforgivable sin of stealing money from other Jews."
What's the forgivable sin? Stealing from non-jews?
Wow that just captures it right there.
I think this speaks to 'herd' mentality. Just because a person goes into the same building, to talk to the same imaginary friend, doesn't mean he'll care any more or any less about you. Same for nationalities. There are good people all over the place, just not the same color, religion or creed as you. Hey... my father's an asshole for christ sake!
I'm sorry but the fact that so many jewish entities got fucked on this, is their own fault. Big problem with most religions, jews the worst. Always hunker down with like kind. Well here a virtual bomb went off and a lot of ppl got hurt.
Lesson: Quit clustering and integrate! Better yet... let's get rid of religion, it's such a waste of time and so divisive.
Posted by Alvin B , Apr 14, 2009 10:49PM
The shocking revelation that Bernie Madoff was a giant scam intensifies redemption from scores of other hedge funds that will be forced to liquidate holdings and increase downward pressure on stock prices. In conjunction with the Madoff scandal, another person is involved named as Ezra Merkin. Ezra Merkin is a name you probably never heard before. Well, you may get to know about Ezra Merkin now. He is accused of having run the feeder funds that gave cash advances to Madoff. Madoff himself is awaiting sentencing, while his lawyers try to appeal his bail revocation. Merkin hasn't been charged with a crime yet, only sued. But there may be a need for some big cash advances so Ezra Merkin can pay his fines.
http://personalmoneystore.com/moneyblog/2009/04/06/ezra-merkin-charged-madoff-ponzi-scheme/