***Madoff's Stolen Statue Recovered (FINalternatives)
This is some bull shit. The bronze statue of two lifeguards which was fittingly stolen from Bernie's Palm Beach back yard last week is back.
***Horseman's firm loses billions in scam (Times Union)
Snicker yourselves to death: "A hedge fund investor who poured millions into Saratoga's equine economy has abruptly stopped all new construction on his huge horse farm and wants to sell his thoroughbreds after losing some $7.5 billion in the Bernard Madoff scandal.
Jeffrey Tucker, the founding partner of Fairfield Greenwich Group, bought Stonebridge Farm in Schuylerville in 2004, and has since built New York's first track with a synthetic racing surface and indoor arena on the 188-acre farm. Tucker, 62, owns and cares for about 50 thoroughbreds on the site, considered one of horse racing's premier training facilities, and recently purchased a 230-acre satellite farm in Gansevoort."
***Concert Industry Bucks the Recessionary Trend (WSJ)
All this means to me is that a certain someone will be able to get his private Jonas Brothers concerts on the cheap. And that's something I have no problem with.
The concert industry has so far bucked the recession, according to year-end data from trade magazine Pollstar, but promoters are bracing for a bumpy 2009.Box-office receipts from North American concerts through December were $4.2 billion, up 7.8% from 2007. But the total number of tickets sold for the 100 top-grossing shows fell 3%, to 35.6 million, the second consecutive year of declines. The growth in revenue was the result of rising ticket prices. The average ticket to one of the 100 top-grossing shows cost $66.90, up $4.83, or 8%, from 2007 and more than double the average price in 1998.
That could spell trouble in 2009.
***The screen name belonging to one Bernie Madoff recently came back online a few days ago. The buddy icon appears to be the Grand Tetons. We'll be auctioning off this and other noteworthy persons' SN's in the New Year, so take some time to devise the perfect IM now.
***Obama And That Other Ponzi Scheme (TSG)
Meaning Norman Hsu, charged last year with operating a $60 million Madoff scheme. Also, Matt Dillon drove too fast in Vermont for the police's liking, but got a mugshot that I legtimately say could and should be his new headshot out of the deal.
***Help Wanted: The Next Neel Kashkari (Deal Journal)
Who needs a job?
***No bonuses for Vikram and Win this year. [SEC]
***Cerberus: "Who would have believed that in a short period of time we would see the collapse of Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, Bear Stearns, Lehman, AIG, WAMU and Ambac? Who would have believed that even Citigroup would require significant injections of capital by the government to stabilize its business as we watched its stock trade from a 52-week high of $31 to $7.02 as of December 19, 2008? No financial institution has escaped this downturn. Banks, insurance companies, mortgage companies, investment banks, and other financial companies have all had severe problems. It has been the most difficult for non-deposit financial institutions. Any financial business that needs significant credit lines, other than deposit institutions, is either collapsing or, in the best case, experiencing severe stress." [PDF]
We hope you all have at least marginally Happy New Years! Yes, even you. Back full-time on Monday, with the possibility of a surprise appearance on Friday with photos of NYE at the Guccione pad, starring the Hill Hearing Harem, depending on how the night goes.
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 1:17PM
TNYEDR
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 1:19PM
Oh I get it...DB gets to work bond market hours! Without new updates, how am I going to piss away the next 3 hours?
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 1:20PM
Maddof at home
http://gawker.com/5114194/what-was-bernie-madoff-watching-while-on-house-arrest-last-night
Posted by Anal_yst , Dec 31, 2008 1:23PM
Hope everyone is enjoying their NYE more than I, and wish even the paul-bots, yahoo's, link-spammers, and the gross homeless lady across the street who tries to sexually assault me every day a happy and healthy New year.
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 1:23PM
@3- thanks for posting a link to something that was posted weeks ago:
http://dealbreaker.com/2008/12/caption-contest-friday-bernie.php
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 1:24PM
Obama And That Other Ponzi Scheme .... thought that was going to be a reference to social security.
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 1:24PM
@3 Has Gawker bugged his place yet? But he was probably watching gay porn because where he is going he will need to brush up on a few moves for the fellas.
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 1:24PM
@2- or maybe DB editors are owed a vacation like everyone else?
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 1:25PM
too 2008, didn't read.
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 1:39PM
@9 great finish
Posted by Lowly Assistant , Dec 31, 2008 1:42PM
Get me out of this fucking office. I know not why the caged bird sings.
Posted by Lowly Assistant , Dec 31, 2008 1:46PM
P.S. Levs, the NAMBLA/SAC hyp-link was one of the most unappreciated articles of 2008. A shame that piece didn't get as much love as it deserved.
Posted by Anal_yst , Dec 31, 2008 2:25PM
@8
What's a vacation?
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 2:28PM
@anal_yst: i dont think DB knows either...last i checked the only time they've taken off *completely* meaning no posting whatsoever has been thanksgiving day and new year's. even bankers get a full week off at some point.
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 2:30PM
2008 was sooooo bad. If the market did not get you Bernie Madoof did.
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 2:30PM
Bess was so much to so many of us this difficult year. One of my favorite Bess'isms?
..."au contraire my little she-males!"
-BeckyBootFan
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 2:31PM
Happy new year, Madoff.
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 2:35PM
@beckyboot: my favorite bess post:
Area Man Threatens To Out-Toilet Stevie Cohen
Posted by Bess Levin, May 20, 2008, 3:24pm
Trouble in hedge fund land. Greenwich residents are terrified that would-be new neighbor, Russian millionaire Valery Kogan, will make them look bad (read: poor) by building a proposed 54,000 square foot mansion with two wings, "extensive" subterranean space, and room for up to 300 guests, which will clearly dwarf their own homes, relative shacks compared to the behemoth.
Though they claim their protests are merely matters of (a) taste ("`It looks like they want to duplicate the Winter Palace here in Greenwich,'' said Leslie McElwreath. ``It'll be an eyesore.''), (b) safety ("This is a road where our kids learn to ride bikes, rollerblade, and people take walks,'' said Morris Sachs, a trader at Brevan Howard.) and (c) not being summarily drowned while taking part in a pissing contest (``This is going to be a palace on a postage stamp,'' Charles Lee said. ``It's too much."), those intimately familiar with the gastrointestinal habits of SAC Capital Founder Steve Cohen know better.
Though never stated outright, the real problem with Kogan's house is that it is slated to contain 26 toilets. And though it has many, many WC's, Steve Cohen's home does not have 26. Were Kogan to start building without making some edits first, he would not only be embarrassing Cohen in his own domain, he would be breaking a law, which the residents quoted by Bloomberg are trying to uphold. Section 182, clause 17 of the Greenwich town code clearly states that "no home shall exceed the number of waste-removal stations as are found at Casa Cohen."
Interestingly enough, Cohen, who is not cited in the article, is said to have zero problem with any other aspect of Kogan's dream home. "He could build a domicile three times the size of Stevie's, with 40 master bedrooms to Steve's 2, 16 refrigerators to Steve's 12, and 2 ice rink's to Steve's 1," a friend of a friend of a friend told DealBreaker. "It's the toilets he cares about. Just the toilets."
Empathizing with the big guy, CNBC on-air editor Charlie Gasparino commented* that he "fully understands where Cohen's coming from." Pausing momentarily to enjoy a paper-thin slice of salami he'd cut moments earlier on the deli meat slicer he'd won in a bet with his local butcher, Gasparino added, "Bathrooms are extremely important to me. I live in a studio, but it's got 4 cans. And I think that because so much of my identity is tied to my obsession with being 'regular,' I'd probably feel threatened if the guy next door had 5. I know it sounds crazy, but it'd be like I was less of a man or something."
Anyway. This is a private matter that doesn't really involve us, per se, and hopefully it'll be resolved shortly. But obviously you're all dying to know, "just how many toilets does Cohen's house have?" We're going to tell you, but not just yet. First, you're going to guess. The first person to correctly get it will receive our heartfelt congratulations via email. But that's not all. You'll also receive two free tickets to a hockey game taking place at Cohen's backyard rink. On June 6 the BG will taken on a team comprised of his young children's friends and his least favorite SAC employees. The home team (SC) plays perched atop a Zamboni made from repurposed monster truck parts that gets to shoot out pucks at random, with a glassed-in Pope-mobile-like top in place of a mask. The away team (kids + staff) are issued Soviet-era gear, never win, and are forced to put on a Disney on Ice show of Cohen's choosing following the game. Last year was Aladdin. This year is anyone's guess.
http://dealbreaker.com/2008/05/area-man-threatens-to-out-toil.php
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 2:40PM
http://dealbreaker.com/2008/02/revenge-is-a-gefilte-fish-best.php
Revenge Is A Gefilte Fish Best Served Cold
Posted by Bess Levin, Feb 05, 2008, 11:46am
I never took Charles Gasparino for a scheming, vindictive, even terribly inventive man. That all changed when I found myself curled up on the bathroom floor circa 2 am this morning. But let me start from the beginning. As most of you who read this site with any regularity know, we're obsessed with chronicling the eating, iron-pumping and fiber-expelling habits of CNBC reporter Charlie Gasparino. Since he clearly has a Google alert set up for himself, he's well-aware of the enthusiasm with which we cover his professional and personal life. I don't want to say that we were told by several well-placed sources that Chuck liked all this attention we were lavishing on him, so I'll say this-- we were told by several well-placed sources that Chuck LOVED all this attention we were lavishing on him. Is "went to his head" the correct turn of phrase to use in this situation? I'm not sure, but nothing else comes to mind, and it's a pretty fair assessment of what began to happen.
And that was okay. Annoying, but okay. We'd created this belle of the ball in Gasparino, and we were willing to take all the credit (/Pulitzer nominations) and criticism that came with the coverage, in addition to your standard starlet behavior. We were fine with the fact that we would get calls complaining about running certain photos that made a certain someone "look bloated," and that beginning last month, not a day would go by when Charlie wouldn't contact us to say "It's 7 am, I've already worked out, showered and had breakfast, why haven't you written about me yet?" to which we replied, "Well, Charles, when you work out with the sleeves cut off, and not in this hoity toity Under Armor shit, as our moles at Gold's Gym where you whaled on your pecs today tell us you did, that's when we'll write about you," to which he would inevitably respond, "I've already taken out my clippers, and scheduled additional reps on the Bow-Flex for noon. Write the post now so it's ready to go at 12." We would write the post and it would be good and this parasitic-yet-beneficial relationship would continue.
Lately, though, meaning like last week, Charlie was becoming obsessive. Emailing us at three, and four, and five a.m. to make sure we'd received the photos of him leaving the studio "drinking a delicious Myoplex shake (out of one of those plastic gallon containers, of course)," so he could get his free monthly shipment of powders and bars, the "building blocks of any fitness plan worth its salt." Asking if we'd noticed how much more "cut" he looked on-air compared to Kernan. Not shutting the fuck up about how braciole isn't something he requests during bathroom time ("It's thinly sliced pieces of mortadella while I'm on the can or it's nothing at all!").
And we're not easily rattle-able people, but it was starting to piss us off. So we didn't exactly put our all into our regularly scheduled "Where in the world is Charlie Gasparino" feature on Friday, just to give him a taste of what life would be like for him if we started half-assing it. And he didn't like that one bit. Told a friend he was ticked that we didn't mention the throbbing veins in his forearms. The rippling pectorals as ripe as two grapefruits out of the alluringly yet tastefully vivisected Champion sweatshirt. The way the children in the gym's play room cowered when he howled 'Ba fungool!' after every bench rep. The musky, pheromone-concentrated odor he emits when working out that draw women the way chum lures sharks. Said he was going to make us "pay" for this egregious offense, which I took to mean he wouldn't make sure we got comped at Sarge's on 27th and 3rd next time we got sandwiches.
So when the shipment of soppresata arrived at the office, we thought for a second that it might be some sort of threat, but only in the sense that "something's coming," and not that "this actual piece of meat has been poisoned." Oh, but the ever-conniving No Sleeves knew he didn't even have to actually tamper with the meat, knowing full-well that the typical Jew, famed for a delicate digestive tract, wouldn't be able to handle the saltiness and nitrates. (We've heard from well-placed sources that he picked up this little trick from Grasso, who sent capicola to Spitzer and all the Jews with NYSE board seats, as chronicled in his latest book, "King of the Club".)
Which would explain why, at 2 am this morning, after having only sampled a tiny piece of the soppresata earlier in the evening, we were rudely awoken with a thirst so great we were forced to chug the month-old, half empty bottle of peach Snapple next to our bed, before projectile vomiting the offensive toxin from our mouths (ending our five month no-puking streak), and subsequently spent the next several hours on the cold tile floor. And we didn't like the ending of our no-vomit streak one bit.
So. In keeping with the time-honored tradition of the Jewish and Italian mafias battling over Wall Street supremacy (as chronicled in Charlie's book "King of the Club," available on Amazon and wherever books are sold), Levin will now demonstrate to No Sleeves once and for all that despite the fictional comeuppances of Shylock and Hyman Roth by guineas, the Jews wrote the book on revenge.
The question is how. I leave the answer to you. (Write-ins by Chosen People given extra weight.)
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 2:55PM
Hands down best post on DB this year:
Advice To Our Hedge Fund Friends, Courtesy Of AQR
http://dealbreaker.com/2008/12/advice-to-our-hedge-fund-frien.php
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 3:02PM
@19 gets my vote. I cannot see Chas on screen without thinking of that post.
-BBF
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 3:05PM
Best DB post this year:
Map To Charlie Gasparino's Heart: CliffsNotes Edition
http://dealbreaker.com/2008/01/map-to-charlie-gasparinos-hear.php
Posted by Bess Levin, Jan 10, 2008, 12:55pm
We think it's unfair that CNBC anchor Erin Burnett is allegedly taking shit from network brass for being a lover of the finer things in life. So for the rest of January, we're going to give you 8 Ways To Impress [anchor of your choice]. Today we'll start with Charlie Gasparino:
1. Buying me a week's worth of martinis at Tropix ("a great place to relax, have fun and enjoy great pina coladas while listening to cool music and to meet nice people"), my favorite joint in Rego Park, where they have a lax policy on underage drinking, would earn you big points in my book.
2. The proper work out gear keeps me calm when I'm getting pumped. Buy me a ten-pack of Champion sweatshirts. Show me you care by taking the time to cut off the sleeves (so that when I go back to the studio after whaling on my pecs, my veins are exposed for the staff's leering delight).
3. Finding the high end BowFlex--the one with the pull up bar, not the shitty one I bought for myself last Christmas--at my door would be great.
4. My contributions to literature and understanding are a passion of mine, so a gathering with a roomful of literati and Wall Street titans, especially Dick Grasso and Phil Purcell (if you can find him), to hear me read my favorite passages, would make for an exceptional evening. For all involved.
5. Looking out for my boys is really important to me. Sending some Chinese food and five signed copies of my book to myRego Park crew would be perfection.
6. You could unlock my heart by allowing me to pick my next theme park vacation. Busch Gardens, Wild Water Kingdom, Silver Dollar City, or any of the many Six Flags across the globe (no Eurodisney). I love theme parks, and hope to eventually set foot in 100 of them. I have many more to go.
7. Deli meats are a passion of mine. Buy me enough sooprezat so that I don't have to get up for a snack while reading the entirety of my latest book in one bathroom sitting.
8. Being "regular" is very important to me. Show me it's important to you, too, by not fucking bothering me while I'm on the can. On the other hand, if you thought to bringing me some slices of brazuool [NSFW: http://braciola.org/] (and a Heineken to wash it down) while I'm in there, that would be perfection.
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 3:12PM
Charlie doesn't leave early on New Year's Eve! Check him out on CNBC reporting Citi's new bonus plan for senior executives.
Vikrim and Win aren't getting bonuses this year? After that stewardship?! Ridiculous!
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 3:16PM
Citi is just the start. Get ready for the clawback, kids. It will become de rigueur at every bank and hedge fund in the next 2 years.
Actually I think clawbacks are a great idea - should reduce the incentive to manufacture a big PNL one year and blow it all unwinding the next.
Posted by e_anthony58 , Dec 31, 2008 3:24PM
Can anyone tell me who was that beautiful woman on 'The Call' today with the accent???
CNBC needs to keep her.
Maybe have her a the new host of Closing Bell??
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 3:50PM
no more stables? where are the noel sisters going to sleep?
Posted by trojan , Dec 31, 2008 4:05PM
usc -8.5 ... any takers?
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 4:06PM
Just stopping by to say Happy New Year to my old DealBreaker pals. I hope you all have a great end to this crazy year. Here's my advice: get drunk, make out with someone, dance to songs you've forgotten you love and make plans you'll never keep.
There is only one New Year's eve every year. You'll only get about 75 of them in your life. Most of them will be spent when you are too young or too old to enjoy them. Don't squander the opportunity.
Love and midnight kisses,
John Carney
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 4:18PM
LowA @11- Stockholm Syndrome. I have it and I've never been happier. I <3 Bess. Hell I ate 17.5 pounds of baked beans for her.
Happy New Year bitches. Unemployment 8.75% by April.
SPODE
Posted by VOL IS KING , Dec 31, 2008 4:18PM
John Paulson sure does have a lot of balls. He was a two bit merger arb hack 4 years ago, now the guy thinks he's George Soros. He's Henry Kravis 3.0 at best. Pride before the fall... does anyone know how I can short Paulson & Co?
Posted by Anal_yst , Dec 31, 2008 4:25PM
@ Vol
Can ya' blame him? You catch a quasi-lucky break and/or get it right once, you better milk that sh!t for everything its worth.
Posted by VOL IS KING , Dec 31, 2008 4:32PM
@spode:
unemployment'll be 10% if its 1%
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 4:39PM
don't forget to add in "disillusioned workers"- those that don't even look for work anymore... mas 6-7%, for a depression-like total of 16% next year
Posted by Finnegan , Dec 31, 2008 4:39PM
If you squint, the people in the cartoon photo up top look kinda like EP giving advice to Bess. If you squint harder, they might kiss.
Of course if you see it as is, not so interesting or pervy.
Happy New Year to everyone. It's always a pleasure reading the posts and comments here, especially since I am not in the industry and like the insight (and nonsense)from people who know better.
I wish all of those who have a bit of uncertainty as far as employment the best of luck.
Often enough people leap to grand conclusions like "Wall Street is dead" but you can rest assured that Americans love their bubble gum and bubbles, people will continue to seek profit, and finance will evolve in a manner that manages to eventually subvert all the soon to be placed regulations.
We are creative that way, which makes us different from places like Russia, which will certainly fall into major difficulties (and contra the wisdom of certain delusional former KGB Russian academics who are predicting our demise in 2010).
Anyway best of luck and HNY: EP, Bess, readers. @9:good one.
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 4:44PM
Happy New Year....e_anthony58......The girl with the accent you heard on early morning CNBC was probably one of their overseas reporters. No luck in replacing the current Ho=hum on Closing Bell.
Posted by e_anthony58 , Dec 31, 2008 4:53PM
@35 - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
lol.
me thinks CNBC needs to switch it up for the new year, whether it be talent wise or programming. they've done a great job this year. i watch them more this year than any other channel, especially ESPN!!
they just need to stop screaming over each other when interviewing guest.
Michelle C-C. didnt look so good today. hope she feels better. she doesnt smile as much when she's sick. =(
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 4:56PM
Obama is straight out of the Chicago machine. Of course he's rubbed elbows with some seedy characters.
Posted by step on all the bids , Dec 31, 2008 5:57PM
@trojan 27,
I'll take two dimes on that action!!
-Nittany Lion
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 7:12PM
Let me get this straight: The WSJ is stupid enough to think the KC honors actually happened last night, just because CBS broadcast them then??
Stewart and Colbert both had film from the ceremony early in the week before they went on vacation.
They don't need to know who the new CashCarry is going to be; they need someone who has a calendar and a brain.
(Don't do it, Bess! Send EP.)
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 7:13PM
@27/38
I will take the action also. Sanchez will be dirtied and SC schooled by JoePa.
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 7:40PM
HAPPY NEW YEAR my biotches.
-Fo Shizzle
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 8:01PM
drink up bitches...
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 10:34PM
Matt Dillon's still in the closet ?
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 10:46PM
@39- you're an douche
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 11:54PM
@ 25 e_anthony
CNBC's "The Call" guest anchor today was Karen Tso of CNBC Asia/Australia.
SHE's HOT!
Posted by guest , Dec 31, 2008 11:55PM
@ 25 e_anthony
CNBC's "The Call" guest anchor today was Karen Tso of CNBC Asia/Australia.
SHE's HOT!
Posted by guest , Jan 01, 2009 12:02AM
HNY Bitches!
Posted by guest , Jan 01, 2009 3:24AM
Some men demand the best. I am one of those men. V-Day is right around the corner Bess. *Nudge Nudge*
http://www.reuters.com/news/video?videoId=94348&videoChannel=4
Before the day I met you,
Life was so unkind
You're the key to my piece of mind
Cause you make me feel
You make me feel
You make me feel like a modern day man (man)
SPODE
Posted by guest , Jan 01, 2009 9:25AM
Two months in a row...up over 8% in that time frame...
http://www.greenlightre.ky/?q=node/72
Posted by guest , Jan 01, 2009 12:19PM
First to bone a slut in 09
Posted by guest , Jan 01, 2009 1:31PM
50
I'll bet youre the first to JO&C in 09
Posted by trojan , Jan 01, 2009 7:22PM
penn st is getting embarrassed on national tv. joepa is going to have a stroke up there
Posted by Anal_yst , Jan 01, 2009 9:49PM
Alas, PSU secondary was competent as GSAM, sigh....
Posted by guest , Jan 02, 2009 6:12AM
Just a cut and paste:
Li Ka Shing:
Name indicative of position::
Norman Hsu:
Found with soiled pants in fetal position.
systemicallyimportant.blogspot
Posted by guest , Jan 02, 2009 8:30AM
big 10 has gotten debacled in the rose bowl the last 10 years or so