Ok, so Joe Kaplan is yammering in the White House Press Room via CNBC, I guess that makes it true. His yammering includes:
Firms must meet an “economic definition of financial viability” (can’t wait to read that).
They have to prove it by March 31 (can’t wait to see how this is evaluated).
If they don’t meet the requirements funding gets cut off, the gubment gets its grub back.
Discuss….

Comments (30)

  1. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 11:10 AM

    They’ve sold the big 3 to the Arabs.

  2. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 11:13 AM

    They had me at Shamwow

  3. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 11:13 AM

    too insolvent, didn’t read.

  4. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 11:13 AM

    They’ve merged the big 3 with aig and citi and nuked the whole bunch

  5. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 11:15 AM

    Exxon/Mobil buys all 3. Ashton Kutcher to be Car Czar.

  6. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 11:15 AM

    Until Lebeau confirms I won’t believe it.
    (the on from Hogan’s Heroes)

  7. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 11:15 AM

    Lets do in 3 months what we didn’t manage to do in 30 years.

  8. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 11:15 AM

    Charles……are you there? Whatcha’ got on this story????

  9. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 11:19 AM

    They’ve been re-packaged as a Delorean

  10. Posted by Seaman Bodine | December 10, 2008 at 11:20 AM

    they gave them jeffries severance

  11. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 11:21 AM

    How does the government think that it’s going to get it’s money back? Selling GM’s HQ in downtown Detroit? Convincing Toyota to buy the assembly line robots (preprogrammed by Microsoft to build shitty cars)

  12. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 11:22 AM

    Seaman Bodine, how much severance did you get when you were fired at the ass-rape bordello?

  13. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 11:22 AM

    Everyone working at a TARP bank gets one of the new gas guzzling SUVs that have been building up in inventory for Christmas in lieu of cash bonus.

  14. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 11:23 AM

    Lightning McQueen for Car Tsar.

  15. Posted by Seaman Bodine | December 10, 2008 at 11:29 AM

    @12
    what’s the matter – sensitive on the jeffries cuts? does that make it harder for you to get your clients into those wrap fee mutual fund accounts?

  16. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 11:30 AM

    “Jolt the economy!”

  17. Posted by Clown Capital | December 10, 2008 at 11:32 AM

    CNBC just reported;
    Obama officially revives relationship with Cuba; sells thousands of US auto inventory to Fidel Castro.
    More to follow…

  18. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 11:33 AM

    if they have no viable plan, the government gets its money back….yeah right…

  19. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 11:34 AM

    jerk off to quality porn on http://www.mpegmovieheaven.com

  20. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 11:36 AM

    @19 – go promote your site somewhere else (Yahoo Finance perhaps).

  21. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 11:38 AM

    @15 no, its just that i dont like you and you have never worked in finance so shut the fuck up. Oh and why you got fired at the ass-raper bordello; your ass wass so worn out you were dripping all over the place…

  22. Posted by Seaman Bodine | December 10, 2008 at 11:40 AM

    @21
    i wish i’d never worked in finance – that’s probably what you meant to say

  23. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 11:43 AM

    You know you told the recruiter it was your dream to bang away like a monkey on spreadsheets for 80 hours a week with the right to be summarily canned, thrown out of the building by apes and receive one month pay.

  24. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 11:45 AM

    I ain’t hearing any comments on the proposed Big 3 bailout on CNBC….what gives?

  25. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 11:54 AM

    Speed Racer’s monkey for car czar.

  26. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 12:17 PM

    The social fallout of a collapse of the Big 3 will make Hoovervilles look like guilded gated communities.

  27. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 12:19 PM

    Devil’s Advocate says:
    “If treasury can sell LT debt for next to nothing, fire away! Sell cheap debt and take on all the equity stakes you can shove in your bag. Then, say in 5 years, inflate your nasty repayment troubles away!”

  28. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 12:47 PM

    God damn, 25….
    His name is Chim Chim.
    He’s a chimp not a monkey.
    He’s Spritle’s chimp not Speed’s.
    Otherwise, excellent nomination.

  29. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 1:29 PM

    Doc Brown for Car Czar!

  30. Posted by guest | December 10, 2008 at 3:00 PM

    CNBC….IN AN EFFORT TO DRAW YOUR ATTENTION. Use terms like “first heard” “exclusive” “You won’t hear any where else”….you know the drill. This reminds me of my days of yore as a rock & roll radio jock when instead of flooring the gas….you floored the echo chamber with an enthusiastic “WQAM EXCLUSIVE”…BLAM….(record).

Leave a comment

You can log in with your account or comment as a guest below.