Dear Team Tosca

Okay, we know this might not mean much, but-- if you can get through this without pissing your pants in laughter, you will have won our deepest respect.

Shareholder Report [PDF]

Comments

1

Posted by Clown Capital , Dec 15, 2008 10:27AM

First to ask Bess for a Madoff Investments fund(s) presentation...

2

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 10:29AM

Good friendship is like pissing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth of it.

3

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 10:31AM

How did people this stupid ever get responsibility for someone else's money?

4

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 10:38AM

link is not working

5

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 10:39AM

-67% is the new killing it.

6

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 10:39AM

@4- yes, it is. it's a pdf.

7

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 10:43AM

First the good news: (1) We ONLY lost 5% of your money this month (way better than Sept. & Oct.) so we are getting better at this, (2) We lost your money honestly because we don't know what we are doing, not because of fraud and (3) you still have about 33% of your money left (even though we will make it hard as hell to get it out) and the bad news, well you know......

8

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 10:45AM

"We wish you a peaceful and relaxing holiday season."

Down 67% on the year and 22% of my remaining money in emerging market banks. You betcha! I'll sleep like a baby.

9

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 10:51AM

Can't open the .pdf

10

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 10:54AM

@ 9 - becuase your firm sucks and cant afford Adobe. Youre beat.

Please read 8 for a breif summary.

Thanks

11

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 10:55AM

Our strategy worked until it didn't.

12

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 10:55AM

PDF works fine.

Andrew Grossman on CNBC from Heritage just said "fluid" twice in 15 seconds in describing the auto bailout situation.

13

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 10:55AM

I am a hedge fund manager. Where is my penis?

14

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 10:57AM

gee the bulk of that histogram distribution of monthly net returns looks to the negative side of 0.

15

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 11:00AM

Wow. All I can say is "wow". By the way, since when do emerging markets stocks hold less risk?

16

Posted by trojan , Dec 15, 2008 11:02AM

i just found out today guys can get yeast infections.

bring on the bad news.

17

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 11:04AM

anyone think the "baghdad shoe thrower" will be a free agent by the end of the week? that guy brought the heat...

18

Posted by miami , Dec 15, 2008 11:08AM

Not committing fraud is the new 'killing it.'

19

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 11:09AM

@17 The Borowitz Report today reported that Hank Steinbrenner has signed up that reporter based on his arm. If the Pirates can sign two Indians who never saw a baseball in their life, the Yankees will not be outdone in scouting Southeast Asia and the Middle East.

20

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 11:10AM

@17,
And GWB doesn't have a role in the sequel to Dodge Ball The Movie, I will be surprised.

Dude's ninja-like.

21

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 11:14AM

"you can dodge a shoe, you can dodge a ball!"

22

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 11:23AM

But you can't ball your shoe?

23

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 11:27AM

"throw a shoe at me oncce...shame on you! Throw a shoe at me twice... can't throw a shoe at me again!"

24

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 11:58AM

"who throws a shoe? honestly? you fight like a woman."

25

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 12:23PM

@19

But the second throw was off the strike zone! That's why they'll invite him to Spring training first.

26

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 12:27PM

@12 - I wonder if he's related to Les Grossman.

27

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 12:46PM

Why don't they just invest in Government debt...from ecuador....

28

Posted by guest , Dec 15, 2008 6:05PM

I enjoyed the Secret Service's slo mo response were probably secretly hoping he had a gun

29

Posted by guest , Dec 16, 2008 4:31AM

They should get the "funniest fund of the year" award ... from non-investors, I mean ...

30

Posted by guest , Dec 17, 2008 4:36AM

We are often asked the question “is it time to invest in banks”?

I can think of better people to ask.

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