Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 9:40AM

The beatings at AQR will continue until morale improves.

-Cliff

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 9:40AM

10% of what? How big is that research team? Doesn't sound like a big number.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 9:45AM

Kabiller? are you there? Will you be saying (a) that this is a complete misunderstanding, (b)the models work, and (c) this was attrition of low-performing colleagues rather than, say, the decimation of your AUM?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 9:50AM

Cliff must have sent out a letter. Who's got it?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 9:52AM

@5- why would he send out a letter?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 9:57AM

#6- Assness always sends out a letter making bad news sound ok. Love to read it.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 10:21AM

They should fire the two incompetent group heads. John Liu and Jacques Friedman.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 10:28AM

The layoff wasn't bad. Those who were affected are bottom performers that get filtered out yearly.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 10:31AM

Funny to think these guys were actually thinking about going public last year. That black box is worth about as much as an organ grinder. Looks like they laid off the monkey.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 10:36AM

Comment removed by moderator.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 10:36AM

@10: @4 here. Thank you for proving my point.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 10:39AM

Kabiller always speaks the truth. His word is his bond.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 10:43AM

Fuck you 10. The real underperformers are lasse pedersen and toby moskowitz. These two leeches sucked blood and ran off with briefcases full of cash. Fucking frauds.

That pompous prick toby even has his own wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toby_Moskowitz

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 10:44AM

Can i get names of the laid off people?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 10:50AM

Is the holiday party still on at Megu tribeca?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 10:52AM

AQR is just another dying hedge fund. leave them along to their slow death.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 10:53AM

@16: too bad it's a junk bond

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 10:57AM

More like the equity tranche of subprime CDO. do not trust anything this guy says.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 10:59AM

There will be more layoffs this friday or next wednesday affecting about 10 more "underperformers"

Susie Quattro will be the highest paid employee for her efforts.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 10:59AM

What is wrong with all of you? Out of the 200 people at AQR how many do you think are making 7 figures? Why do you take such pleasure in their pain? They have back office staff, assistants, mail room, etc. who are all at risk here and don't make a lot of money. Unless you are gonna hire them you should shut up and go back to watching the View.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 11:01AM

David, I prefer to watch sports center

you sure are going to pay yourself 7 figures right?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 11:02AM

@10 & 14 - How are the laid off "bottom performers" when EVERY strategy pretty much burns money?? The word "scapegoats" come to mind. Wouldn't those "bottom performers" be the partners in charge? Otherwise, if the partners aren't responsible for anything, what value are they adding to investors?

And why agree with yourself anonymously on an internet comment forum? Its not like anyone here really believes you're two people.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 11:02AM

Sue Quattro is definitely a MILF. anyone have a picture they can post?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 11:05AM

Anybody have Assness' letter to employees about the layoffs? Would love to see the spin.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 11:06AM

Can you be more specific which strategies are losing money? marketing guys are saying that it is mainly the bets on mortgage and commodities. The core strategies are working well but unfortunately the risk allocation gave too much weight to those two strategies. At least that's AQR's spin.

They also say that once volatilty subsides PL should pop. But I think they said the same thing would happen when vol picks up.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 11:06AM

26 is right, that handsome devil.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 11:07AM

Assness has been silent as he is too pussy to speak up. He and kabiller sold dreams to young kids out of college and totally pulled rugs from under them.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 11:15AM

Waiting for "Full Disclosure" guy...

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 11:17AM

who is full disclosure guy?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 11:21AM

The management told the staff while business performance did influence the decision the six people affected by layoff had been marked for underperformance since last year's annual review and they had failed to improve in their midyear review back in June. Hence they were released with very generous departure packages.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 11:23AM

27, are you blind? maybe you confused with kelly

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 11:25AM

Full Disclosure, I am not a partner but a good friend of Cliff's who is a senior employee at AQR and writes totally inane defenses of the company while unintentionally making the whole firm look like a bunch of imbeciles. I am probably earnest in intention, but set up defenses so weak that I serve as strawman to the the people I am trying to disprove on this forum. I typically have a 5th grade writing style, though for this post I am using a ghostwriter, hence my improved grammar. AQR is the best! so what if we're net neutral since inception?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 11:27AM

34, you did not make your full disclosure

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 11:28AM

Where is that "senior insider?" That guys was so dumb it was comical. Care to guess who this senior insider was?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 11:31AM

When is the AQR IPO? I am saving up for that.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 11:37AM

You AQR guys act like the situation at AQR is unique. Wake-up, it's not! Every hedge fund is exactly the same way. You check your dignity at the door each morning to collect the big bucks. At any desk in any hedge fund, the talent (if there's any at all) is held by only 1 to 2 traders. The rest of you are just there to suck c@ck and take the abuse. If you don't like it, good luck finding another job in this market. I hope you saved up during the boom or have rich parents.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 11:41AM

@41 maybe not everyone has acquiesced to the Sisters like you have. you might now like both cock and abuse, but let others complain about it.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 11:46AM

@36: Marry me.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 11:47AM

@34 severance was 3 months and all the drinks you could carry from the fridge. generous indeed.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 11:51AM

@36: Marry me.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 11:55AM

@36: Marry me.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 12:03PM

@29 - Listen, my iPhone is running out of batteries and Ronen is coming coming around the corner so I've got to make this fast. CMBS and Commodites did indeed suck serious ass, but everything from our eq global to emg fx strategies are set up in the wrong direction. Not to mention our doubly geared profit hedging Timing strategy. We're market neutral but have a massive exchange limit bet on the S&P 500. Ask Cliff for the math out on that one!

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 12:28PM

only terrorists use iphones. at least that's what ronen told me.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 12:30PM

The marketing guys are telling investors downsizing is primarily for getting rid of underperformers and has nothing to do overall health of the business.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 12:38PM

@45, is that 3 months of total compor just base?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 12:46PM

Why is this whole comment section AQR people? Where the hell is TGFD?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 12:46PM

GSS is pushing to slash GAA yearend bonus to zero to get better payout for themselves. There is a civil war unfolding.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 12:49PM

If you were given choice between a pink slip or 2 hours alone time with Sue Quattro, which one would you choose?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 12:51PM

Who is better? AQR or DE Shaw

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 12:52PM

You're all douchebags. Get some lives.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 12:58PM

What is GSS' performance vs. GAA's? did they do THAT much better?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 12:58PM

@56
suck my ass

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 12:58PM

@56 - like your life hitting refresh on this thread is so scintillating.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 1:05PM

Children, play nice!

The AQR employee bitchfight in DB comments is fucking amateur. Don't you guys have some "insights" into "deep economic questions" to publish about in a self-fellating Academic Journal?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 1:07PM

self-fellating is a truly marketable alpha

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 1:08PM

AQR research wouldn't make it into peer reviewed journals. Cliff is out of his league in NY Times discussion forum already.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 1:08PM

@54: pink slip please. If not then a cyanide pill.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 1:10PM

56 must be the "senior insider." Who is this? Any guesses?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 1:13PM

@62 Shhhh....They're experts in the Momentum and Value factors!

Which means they can make money in 1985. Fire up the DeLorean Marty!

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 1:15PM

1.21 gigawatts bitches!

that's still less than what AQR lost for its investors this year.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 1:16PM

@51 just base

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 1:28PM

@52, What does TGFD mean or who is TGFD?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 1:29PM

64, there was an internal debate as to who the "senior insider" is. Leading suspects are brian hurst, ronen israel and david kabiller.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 1:30PM

@65 Barr Rosenberg (of Barra fame) was doing Momentum and Value factors in the early 1970's. "Be my friend Godfather?"

@61 The Sharpe ratio is off the chart. High reward, no risk.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 1:34PM

@66: Ahem. JIGGAWATTS.

The AQR snark is growing. When this post hits 88 comments per hour, you're going to see some serious shit!

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 1:39PM

some spark just flew off my keyboard?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 1:46PM

Whats going on with AQR's HF trading group? I thought those guys were generating PL

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 1:56PM

73, what is this group you are talking about?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 2:00PM

By HF group I think you mean the 1 High Frequency Trading Dude. They haven't given him a much of money to play with.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 2:06PM

@68 TGFD is The Gay From Detroit, he is so intensely homosexual that just reading one of his comments can make you gay too.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 2:07PM

Whoa, just got back from the future. There's this drive in theater by the rail station where 2 Greenwich Plaza used to be. What gives?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 2:09PM

75, there are now two groups doing high freq stuff. they both suck.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 2:19PM

Maybe you ex-AQR disgruntled employees should be working on your resumes instead of wasting time here. Your M.I.T. degree aint worth sh*t anymore boys. Time to adjust your expectations.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 2:33PM

Is there anything that AQR doesn't suck at? To an outsider it seems you don't have any competent traders. The # of vexed posts by insiders criticizing models/strategies suggests the principals are clueless and analysts themselves have no better idea other than point fingers at those who make more than them. I wonder why is it said that they hire only the smartest people on the street when it seems that the whole firm is a rip-off?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 2:34PM

77- don't you mean walk in, barefoot?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 2:38PM

@79 - Indulge us on how that Lehigh degree is treating you. Please, tell us about your shitty world that we might adjust accordingly.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 2:40PM

#80, don't be fooled by a few ex-employees with a ton of free time. If people had the guts to register and use their own name and not post anonymously this would look a whole lot different.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 3:03PM

79 is a backoffice worker for sure

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 3:14PM

@80: AQR is great at suckering investors.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 3:15PM

79, way to go representing the SUNY system!

the brass rat shits all over you

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 3:17PM

83 - the senior insider is baaaaaack!!!!

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 3:34PM

Wow I feel so much better about having my money at AQR now that a Senior Insider has taken the time to refute these anonymous posts on Dealbreaker. Surely if these anonymous posters had to write their names, fear of retribution from their employer would force them to be more truthful about their performance. Thank god someone at AQR is spending company resources debunking internet chat rumors with such solid arguments.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 3:38PM

@85: Then I think AQR analysts should instead be thanking Kabillar for feeding their mouths despite them losing a tonne of money.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 3:40PM

The senior insider throws it down!!! Way to go ronen!

The firm is now saved. All laid off people should just go back to work tomorrow morning.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 3:50PM

89, you obviously have no idea how many lies that liar has told.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 4:12PM

3 months for severance is very bad

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 4:23PM

We should get rid of the backoffice. Just outsource that stuff.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 4:26PM

Will there be more layoffs? Any senior level people let go?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 4:32PM

93 Thank you for your thoughtful analysis. The reality though is that there are plenty of firms willing to take on back office work and most small to medium hedge funds do in fact use them. At some point though it becomes economically viable to move that function in house.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 4:37PM

This is Cliff Asness (for real, if you’ve read anything by me you can probably tell from the below):

All these inside references, yet so much ignorance and/or lies. Obviously some of these posts are bitter rants by people not here anymore, and obviously some are just ignorance and cruelty. Either way they are still lies.

Forget me, you are collectively maligning a lot of very good, very nice people you either don’t know, or worked with and now enjoy lying about anonymously. Andrea F, Michael K, David K, Ronen I, John L, Jacques F, etc. All nice/productive people you have no right to lie about. Yet who cares about right and wrong when there are anonymous cowardly posts to be made!

Well, I don’t coddle or fear little men like you (or vicious animal liars like this Beth Levin creature - Beth, was "lair" a nice fair journalistic integrity neutral word?).

For good people we had to let go I feel very bad. For investors who are in our products that are having a tough time I feel very bad and intend to fix it. Frankly, for anyone who is in a tough spot I feel bad.

But for liars, and bitter former employees who were let go because we decided we needed you less than the people you now lie about (I’m not yelling at everyone who is not here anymore, just the cowards posting), and little men who get off on anonymous mendacity on the internet, ---- YOU and the keyboard you wrote in on. Sorry I can’t be more eloquent, you deserve no more and will hear no more from me after this post.

I’m Cliff Asness and I approved this message. Who are you anonymous little liars? Why don’t you come see me some time? Sign your name liars, I dare you. Then let’s chat.

Nah, internet's a great place for anonymous ignorant fools who feel like tough guys in the know when they post their verbal vomit. Enjoy your fun while it lasts. When we go back to doing great for clients what are you going to do for fun? Well, whatever, I'm sure it will be dishonorable and cowardly.

- Cliff

p.s. Beth Levin, regarding your old post, one doesn’t fire their secretary because they know terrible secrets. That’s why one would keep their secretary. Neither reason applies here. I have no terrible secrets, sadly I'm that boring. You make up lies, and you can’t even think straight enough to make your lies make sense. And, btw, you claim we’re going under because of this “sign” (letting my secretary go). Well, we’re not, not close. But, in that same article I believe you said we’re “bleeding out the ass”. Frankly, when a “lady” of the 4th estate writes that, you can bet it is a sign her pathetic website is not long for this earth.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 4:38PM

Sounds like more layoffs are on the way!

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 4:40PM

dont know about you, but after 96 a chill went up my spine.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 4:42PM

The firm is going to conduct an internal investigation through IP tracing and all personnel in question would be subjected to disciplinary actions.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 4:42PM

The firm is going to conduct an internal investigation through IP tracing and all personnel in question would be subjected to disciplinary actions. B

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 4:42PM

96 could also be Bess, letting us think that CA reads DB. On second thought, no.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 4:43PM

This is Cliff Asness (for real, if you’ve read anything by me you can probably tell from the below):

All these inside references, yet so much ignorance and/or lies. Obviously some of these posts are bitter rants by people not here anymore, and obviously some are just ignorance and cruelty. Either way they are still lies.

Forget me, you are collectively maligning a lot of very good, very nice people you either don’t know, or worked with and now enjoy lying about anonymously. Andrea F, Michael K, David K, Ronen I, John L, Jacques F, etc. All nice/productive people you have no right to lie about. Yet who cares about right and wrong when there are anonymous cowardly posts to be made!

Well, I don’t coddle or fear little men like you (or vicious animal liars like this Beth Levin creature - Beth, was "lair" a nice fair journalistic integrity neutral word?).

For good people we had to let go I feel very bad. For investors who are in our products that are having a tough time I feel very bad and intend to fix it. Frankly, for anyone who is in a tough spot I feel bad.

But for liars, and bitter former employees who were let go because we decided we needed you less than the people you now lie about (I’m not yelling at everyone who is not here anymore, just the cowards posting), and little men who get off on anonymous mendacity on the internet, F--- YOU and the keyboard you wrote in on. Sorry I can’t be more eloquent, you deserve no more and will hear no more from me after this post.

I’m Cliff Asness and I approved this message. Who are you anonymous little liars? Why don’t you come see me some time? Sign your name, I dare you. Then let’s chat.

Nah, internet's a great place for anonymous ignorant fools who feel like tough guys in the know when they post their verbal vomit. Enjoy your fun while it lasts. When we go back to doing great for clients what are you going to do for fun? Well, whatever, I'm sure it will be dishonorable and cowardly.

- Cliff

p.s. Beth Levin, regarding your old post, one doesn’t fire their secretary because they know terrible secrets. That’s why one would keep their secretary. Neither reason applies here. I have no terrible secrets, sadly I'm that boring. You make up lies, and you can’t even think straight enough to make your lies make sense. And, btw, you claim we’re going under because of this “sign” (letting my secretary go). Well, we’re not, not close. But, in that same article I believe you said we’re “bleeding out the ass”. Frankly, when a “lady” of the 4th estate writes that, you can bet it is a sign her pathetic website is not long for this earth.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 4:48PM

The firm is going to conduct an internal investigation through IP tracing and all personnel in question would be subjected to disciplinary actions.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 4:48PM

The firm is going to conduct an internal investigation through IP tracing and all personnel in question would be subjected to disciplinary actions.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 4:50PM

The firm is going to conduct an internal investigation through IP tracing and all personnel in question would be subjected to disciplinary actions. B

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 4:50PM

BTW, this is Cliff again, the reason my post is here 2x is this nothing website server hung up the first time and I didn't think it went though.

Nice sarcasm though on the posts following my original. Pity no names attached. Hilarious.

This is Cliff. Anyone posting please use their name or SHUT UP. Jeez it's that simple, you lie anonymously, or even if you tell the truth (and you are not), you're a coward. Plain and simple.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 4:57PM

Cliff, her name is "Bess", not "Beth", and she is very dear to us. Probably dearer than you are to your bleeding investors.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 4:57PM

Cliff:

You should not be posting here and feeding the trolls. By doing so you are letting them know you are worried enough about the "rumors" to attempt to shoot them down - and all by just saying "you're all wrong, nyah nyah, we're all nice people, stop teasing".

You have now just given major street "cred" to dealbreaker.

I'm sorry you're having a tough time, but better to ignore the chatter than acknowledge it.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 5:05PM

This is Bess Levin, which you would know if you ever read my posts and didn't just skip to the comments. Cliff, why did you fire me? I miss you, Cliff.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 5:12PM

107 - Good point, "Bess" is a lying creature with no journalistic integrity, thanks for the help anonymous boy. Say "bleeding" to my face next time little man. Nope, never gonna happen. But I can dream.

108 - I know. Ignored it when they attacked me, now the creatures attacking a ton of good people. And I don't think it's really possible to give "cred" to dealbreaker. And JF please you stop posting too.

109 - Just too stupid for words.

Jeez this is kind of fun. Like hunting morons in a barrel.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 5:16PM

@110: Guess you didn't know you are the one hunted...

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 5:19PM

111 - wow, great verbal reparte, using my own phrase against me, anonymously. Pat yourself on the back for that bon mot.

And if that's a threat then :)

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 5:20PM

And I thought the HF I worked at was Fuck'd-up. At the firm, anyone making 7-figures or less never, ever got even an e-mail from the owner (Okay, 2 e-mails in 3 years). Much less, rants on a public bulletin board. Like the Japanese emperor, I don't think we were allowed to look at him.

AQR - please learn the meaning of the word discretion. You guys look pathetic!

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 5:23PM

113 - No, posting anoymously is pathetic, and sitting on high and ignoring people attacking your people is pathetic. And never hearing from an owner is pathetic.

But admitedly your advice is probably good in a practical sense. But fighting evil isn't always practical sometimes it's just right.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 5:27PM

@ Cliff Asness,

Put down the bong and realize what a monumentally fucking stupid thing you just did. Ponder it... let it sink in. People like me will now be hunting whats left of people like you.

This "Snark" based site is ran by two little girls, who appear to have annoyed you enough to waste time here, instead of working on fixing what you have fucked up.

Lets review a little about your post...

You are signed in as GUEST, and promptly went on a big vent about people signed in as Guests...you do realize just how fucking stupid it make you sound to complain about other "GUEST's", while you yourself are one.

If it was really you, consider registering your name and signing in, otherwise your just another smart ass punk posting here.

Or, you are so fucking stupid you should be "afraid" of Eugene, because he should be embarrassed for signing off on your degree and your results in the market and now here.

Second point, you said in your first post that it would be your only post, I quote you here...

"..Sorry I can’t be more eloquent, you deserve no more and will hear no more from me after this post..."

Then a few minutes later, your back with this post...

"...Nice sarcasm though on the posts following my original. Pity no names attached. Hilarious. .."

So, what we can take from this display of content with your name on it? that you are both a liar and incredibly stupid?

If you are who you say you are... retreat while you can. Not every poster here used to work for you, or is loosing money in this market. A few of us here are PMs who are not blowing chunks like your funds are. I would be worried about managing what you have left, instead of picking fights with little girls who have kicked your ass.

-Not Cliff Asness

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 5:30PM

We are witnessing a very public breakdown here. First the fund, now the founder. Probably won't help with the redemptions.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 5:32PM

116 - I said who I was moron, that I signed in as a guest is irrelevant. After that gross stupidity you're not worth talking to, but yet I do. Much like I said I wouldn't post anymore and did. That's not lying idiot, that's weakness on my part. I didn't claim to be perfect, just right. What've you got?

Was that complicated?

And I am Cliff, who are you? Where do you work, what's your name, why do you have time to moronically analyze my post line-by-line?

-- Cliff

p.s. I tried to register under my own name but this dink-water site never sent me the confirmation email they promised.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 5:35PM

Voice of Reason: You guys need to calm down. It's clearly not Cliff, but probably some AQR person who has been working his ass off for years and is now getting hammered by the market. Why the schadenfreude, anyway? Is AQR any worse than the other funds? They have actually NOT had major layoffs, nor are they holding back investors' cash as so many other funds are. Also, they have a large long-only business AND minority ownership that stabilizes them against the current maelstrom. So WTF? If you guys want to make fun of someone, there are plenty of firms I could name that are treating their investors like children and who deserve the assault.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 5:56PM

Cliff --

How do you intend to "fix it"? Are you going to get a new Magic 8-Ball?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 6:03PM

@ Cliff,

Ok, lets start with the fact you cant get past the registration of a website. I would suggest you have your secretary handle it, or an IT assistant do it for you. It appears you can't interface with the interwebs very well.

I just reread your comments and yes it was too complicated to follow your pretzel like logic, in fact it was down right rambling and didn't make a lot of sense. So after all your comments, I am not sure exactly what I did get out of them.

as a side note, I also founded my firm, and our funds are nicely in the black this year.

However since I am a moron and not gifted with the brilliance your bringing to this conversation, I will leave it to you to figure out who I am... I am in the system, you can figure it out. You have the technology...

If you call me and ask nicely, I "might" offer to be a sub adviser and help turn around your firm. It looks like you need the help.

-Not Cliff Asness

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 6:07PM

116 - And btw, if I had signed in as "cliff" would that prove anything? Anyone can make up that name as a uswername. I said who I was unlike ALL of you. God you're an idiot.

117 - How is standing up for your people and calling anonymous cowards what they are a breakdown? If this be a breakdown the world needs more of it as lying cowards have to be stopped. I believe anyone reading my original post in particular would agree that wasn't a breakdown, it was someone fed up with bottom-feeders and bitter losers lying anonymously about good people. OK, maybe a little breakdown, but a deserved one.

119 - Thanks for trying to protect me from myself, your a good man, but this is Cliff.

Why so many take such joy in others' pain is something I have trouble understanding, but when they do so repeatedly and anonymously I will call them cowardly liars repeatedly and non-anonymously. If that's a breakdown the world is screwed without them.

-- Cliff (signed in as guest as two bit server won't let me create an account, and moron poster doens't understand that would prove nothing anyway as you can make up any user name you want - anyone who knows me knows this is me)

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 6:10PM

121 -

Easy to claim success. How much money you running, $3s of daddies'? Probably zero and you're just a liar.

Say, who you are and let's meet, that would be fun.

And my logic was crystal clear all the way.

Come see me big guy, we'll talk about our future together.

But that's not going to happen is it?

-- Cliff

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 6:10PM

120- He's going to find new quantitative factors. Perhaps long stocks with downward momentum vs short stocks with upward momentum or long expensive stocks vs short value stocks.

Once he does that, it will be an indication that the hedge fund factor has bottomed.

PS. Ditch Black-Litterman.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 6:10PM

I call BS on #96. It amazed me that someone went through all this trouble as "Cliff" to write all this shit? You sir have way too much time on your hands. On the one hand, I could ask you go go something productive but "Cliff", I implore you keep posting for hilarity's sake.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 6:14PM

124 - No, read my article in institutional investor, value and momentum are going to keep working like they always have, our versions are better than the ones I write about there and we do them in more places, and we have never used Black-Litterman.

But keep at it moron, you'll say something smart eventually, maybe you'll type hamlet.

-- Cliff

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 6:17PM

I'm 124. I'm pretty convinced 126 is actually Cliff.

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 6:22PM

Type Hamlet? Not a bad idea!

SCENE I. Elsinore. A platform before the castle.

FRANCISCO at his post. Enter to him BERNARDO
BERNARDO
Who's there?

FRANCISCO
Nay, answer me: stand, and unfold yourself.

BERNARDO
Long live the king!

FRANCISCO
Bernardo?

BERNARDO
He.

FRANCISCO
You come most carefully upon your hour.

BERNARDO
'Tis now struck twelve; get thee to bed, Francisco.

FRANCISCO
For this relief much thanks: 'tis bitter cold,
And I am sick at heart.

BERNARDO
Have you had quiet guard?

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 6:23PM

@127 Nah, he's just some back-office dude trying to defend his firm.

P.S No more "anonymous coward" retorts please, Cliff, OK? We know you read Slashdot like a good IT geek should.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anonymous_Coward

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 6:26PM

"I agree we need to censor things occasionally but only to protect children and madmen (and of course the children of madmen). If you believe in censoring anything else short of a nuclear secret you'd probably look good in hobnail boots and the crooked cross. Thanks for listening."

-- Cliff Asness

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 6:29PM

@Cliff,

The repeated usage of words like Moron, Idiot, and Stupid, when interfacing with people who might be current or future investors of yours, is both self destructive and a sign of dangerous mental decay. You should seriously consider seeking professional help.

If you are in fact Cliff, and your wasting your time here screaming at the peanut gallery, your time as a professional money manager is going to be shorter then most of us thought. I suggest you return to fixing your sinking boat and ignore the peasants in the gallery.

I would also suggest you buy a name on a building at a local community college while they will accept your money to prepare for your return to teaching others about how to do the job wrong, instead of showing the world spectacularly how to do it worse.

-Not Cliff Asness

Posted by guest , Dec 04, 2008 6:29PM

No people, it's Clifff Asness. IT people don't give a shit about their firm, since most are treated like sub-humans.

You can compare his writing style on NYTimes Blogs.

http://executivesuite.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/21/cliff-asness-is-mad-as-hell/