Goldman Considering Internet Banking, Free Pens and Checking (Reuters)
Take a moment to let that sink in. Everybody good? Okay. In a move to cheapen the brand name and blend into a crowd of "the average" Goldman is seeking to join the world wide web community of Banking, though they're not sure exactly how or when it's going to be done yet. While the immediate gratification of the idea is obvious, in the long I can't help but think it's going to help destroy the prestige of the firm. Glenn Schorr feels the same way:
"This move is pretty much the polar opposite of what you think about when you think about Goldman Sachs," said the UBS analyst. "But one of the keys to their future is being able to fund their balance sheet, and if they and others can't do it in traditional ways, it makes complete sense to explore other avenues."
Merrill Plans To Cut Bonuses (Reuters)
Merrill Lynch is looking at a 50% cut on average, with traders and investment bankers who are lucky enough to not get laid off bearing the brunt of the cuts.
If Merrill's thought here is that cutting bonuses won't have any affect in attrition, they're wrong. The argument that no one on the street is a just one, but firms are still picking up value hires and internationally there's been some opportunity. Moreover, the street has a good memory of such things: I can promise you that performing traders won't readily forget getting it in the ass, and will seek to relocate when the opportunity arises.
Paulson Concerned Congress Has Turned Into Little Bitches (WSJ)
Paulson is temporarily halting his request for the remaining $350B because Congress's whining and "we need this" attitude is unbearable. I would appreciate an all or nothing stand by the man here: these people haven't had a clue what's going on since day one, but they've insisted on injecting their opinion into everything, which is a testament to their ignorance. The form of our Government is primarily to protect: whereas ultimately freedom is primary goal, sanctioned intervention into the everyday only serves to subvert that. But they're not protecting us in this case, their protecting their interests - they're just so closely aligning it with protecting us that to attack one is to attack the other, parasite and host.
Government shouldn't be parasitic.
Icahn Sues Friend/Real Estate Mogul (NYTimes)
Icahn is playing the billionaire equivalent of "slaps" with longtime friend Leon D. Black as the two head for court over Realogy Corp.'s seeking to refinance $1.1B of debt and the negative impact it may have on shareholders.
Icahn: "I'm getting bored, man; you wanna come over and play G.I. Joes?"
Black: "I would love to.. wait, No! Come on. You know what? Screw you man!"
Icahn: "Leon, man, you gotta cross over the anger bridge and come back to the friendship shore."
Black: "'Cross over the anger bridge?"
Icahn: "Yeah, that's where you're at: you're stuck on the anger bridge."
Auto Wants $34B (WSJ)
I'm positive that the auto companies are failing, and I have no doubt that it's going to put thousands of people out of work, but it's indicative of the problem that two weeks ago GM needed $12B to float and now they need $18B. The only option at this point is a structured failing of the companies, a stoppage of production, and a restructure through Chapter 11. New leadership would have to be brought in - that would be imperative - none of the old members could seek to gain from this in any manner. New operating budgets, US Government picks up the pensions for GM (bene's go out the window), Chrysler manufacturing and processing gets absorbed by Toyota or Nissan, Ford is forced to stop making POS autos.
--William Richards






Posted by VOL IS KING , Dec 03, 2008 7:52AM
Goldman to internet: putz your moneys hear, we're too fail to fail.
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 7:57AM
That sound you hear is senior level Goldman execs jumping off of 85 Broad and smacking into the street. I love it, they are nobody now, run of the mill, they are below BOFA.
Not too smart of Merrill to make that public considering their profits were down 96%. General public isnt going to like hearing people are still getting bonuses even though they lost money. Whatevs
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 8:12AM
@2 you fuckin retard - how do you go down 96% from a positive nr and end up losing money?
It's clear why you never got into 85 Broad. Or any other quality place. Bitch.
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 8:16AM
@3, I think #2 means that when you are down almost 100% bonuses should be down way more than half, they should be non-existent. Just speculation, and I would have to agree on that point.
They should split up at least by what desks made money and whicg ones didn't, that is more fair in my opinion but wtf do i know?
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 8:17AM
@1
go back to grammar school. i've enough of your mindless spews.
i've never seen you form a single coherent and valid paragraph.
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 8:21AM
@4
that little bitch #2 should read the article, its Sept revenues down 96%, not profits. Probably that fucktard doesn't know the difference.
Posted by VOL IS KING , Dec 03, 2008 8:23AM
@5
yeah, that was supposed to be LOL catz speak...that was the joke.
While I am capable of forming a coherent sentence I usually choose not to, as proof reading is a waste of time. Couple that with the fact the text boxes are impossible to edit using Google Chrome and you get the aforementioned results. I just try to get enough letters in the right places to get the point across; beyond that its just wasted effort. Bitch.
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 8:23AM
everyone needs to cross the anger bridge this morning
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 8:25AM
@6, 2 here. Through september, you read the article again. They ran into Kenny Lewis arms caused they killed the company and everyone should get bonuses? Come on man, common sense please.
Wheres lowly assistant, I wanna slap him around this am as well
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 8:28AM
Pointing out grammar mistakes on the internet, a winner is you!
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 8:30AM
@9/2 Be a man tell us what you do, that makes you such a hot shot little bitch?
I bet you're posting from your dorm room in between downloading gay porn. And you don't know the difference between revenue and profit because when you sell your hiv infested ass on the street you don't have any costs so rev = prof. Bitch.
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 8:36AM
Take it easy guys. It will all be fine in the end.
Dick Fuld.
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 8:37AM
@11
Fuck you. Don't insult the professional ass rental business. There're a lot of expenses to consider such as weekly ass-nicure and pimp fees. Learn the trade well bitch.
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 8:45AM
@11, I trade FX, crushing it in 08 thank you very much. Whos back office did you used to work in? Are you waking up in Staten Island jobless and without a future on "the street"? Dont take it ut on #2 cause you have no prospects to become anything of relevance. Now get over here and dump my garbage, its filling up.
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 8:52AM
@14
The only thing you're crushing is your tiny little balls when you sit on them. Why don't you meet up with #2 so you guys can reenact your favorite scenes from Bareback Mountain together? Bitches.
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 8:52AM
When I wake up in the morning, and I piss excellence.
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 8:55AM
When i wake up i piss on #14
Posted by Investorcluzo , Dec 03, 2008 9:01AM
hot damn! did someone wake up with wideclops standing over him? a lot of agression this morning.
as for the gs article, I love the comment: "The possible online bank hasn't been named yet, and many details of its operations are undecided. It is likely to offer a range of savings products, such as certificates of deposits..." seriously, what else is the bank going to offer? loans? this is a waste of ink. is the wsj taking a page out of no-sleeve's book? they should have written, the situation is still fluid.
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 9:05AM
Pack o miserable cunts, kill yourselves
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 9:07AM
GS a bunch of also rans now, love it. Im sure all their "hitters" are personally leveraged to the gills as well, awesome! Lots o apartments for sale mates.
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 9:29AM
As for the ML story. Wonder if the cleaning service is gearing up for bonus season with additional rubber gloves and sani-wipes for the walls of the employee restrooms.
Rumor the executive suite restrooms have already been stocked with Tucks, as Montag and Thain won't let anyone with a crowbar near their bogus guarantees for nary a year's worth of work.
Sad story for all the hard working employees who got RIF'd or are still there trying to bring revenue in.
Posted by bank_teller , Dec 03, 2008 9:40AM
I picture Goldman as a mischievious badger... like a shapeshifter, or a changeling... like that guy, you ever hear of that tv show Manimal?
Also, GS already has this so-called "internet banking" and they're really just figuring out how to take away the valuable parts so they only give the dregs to the plebs on the street.
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 9:43AM
#14 if you are crushing it at ML FX this year, your salary will be all you retain in incentive comp. But look for a plea to stay, a nice pat on the back or a kiss on the cheeks from you know who!
Posted by Lowly Assistant , Dec 03, 2008 9:54AM
9,
If you're an ex-CFO now at CSFB, smack away, tootsie.
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 10:02AM
New slogan for Goldman Sachs:
i'm on ur interwebz collecting ur moniez
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 10:05AM
@14 How do I get into Special Effects - go to school?
http://www.fxworxinc.com/
Posted by guest , Dec 03, 2008 11:37AM
They forgot to add: "for those who make it to January will receive a bonus at 50% off in worthless shares." The rumor is that will distributing monopoly money (shares) for bonuses that won't vest for five years. Many will be fired shortly after receiving the bonus and will never see a cent. This is just another WS scam. Being fired might actually be better than staying with such a worthless company. If you want to be chump just "believe"