Breathe easy, my chippies. Geoffrey Raymond, who needs no introduction, has finally thrown his two cents into the Madoff Movie of the Week, in the form of some paint on canvass that looks a bit more like Tony Bennett than Bernie Madoff (and yet: who cares, really?). But he's not done yet cause he needs YOUR help. Raymond has requested that Dealbreaker readers share their thoughts vis-a-vis Mr. Ponzi, preferably in the form of one-liners, which he will then annotate onto the thing. Looking forward, think about scraping together $28,000, which is the asking price for the masterpiece.
Say It To His Face
Posted by Bess Levin, Dec 18, 2008, 12:47pm
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Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 12:58PM
How 'bout this one, from "Animal House"
"You fucked up, you trusted me!"
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 12:58PM
I said a posse a posse, not a ponzi!
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 12:58PM
How 'bout this one, from "Animal House"
"You fucked up, you trusted me!"
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 12:58PM
Dad, how could you?! (wink, wink)
- Andrew Madoff
Posted by bondguy007 , Dec 18, 2008 12:59PM
I'm surprised he didn't get his knee caps busted up yesterday after walking in public.
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 12:59PM
Oh dear!
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:00PM
Past performance is not indicative of future frauds.
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:02PM
NO matter how I end up I still win
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:02PM
"My wife made me do it."
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:05PM
"Tell me you hid the money in the banana stand"
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:05PM
the sons & wife need one too
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:07PM
Got Cash?
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:08PM
all your funds are belong to us
Posted by PatrickBateman , Dec 18, 2008 1:09PM
Due Diligence is Overdue
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:09PM
That FT chick Saskia on CNBC is quite hot
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:13PM
60% of the time, it works every time.
- Brian Fantana
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:13PM
"exit strategy?? i thought no one would want any money back till after i died."
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:13PM
60% of the time, it works every time.
- Brian Fantana
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:14PM
They've done studies you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.
- Brian Fantana
Posted by IA , Dec 18, 2008 1:15PM
@10 - This is definitely the work of a flamer
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:16PM
Charles Ponzi eat your heart out. It's a Madoff scheme now.
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:17PM
How many times I have told you not to play with that dirty money? We'll just have to get hims all tidied up.
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:17PM
Well you were walking around blind without a cane, pal. A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.
- VIK
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:18PM
Thanks Bernie! You finally proved that Jews aren't so great with money afterall!
Posted by Clown Capital , Dec 18, 2008 1:20PM
Investor fraud is the "new" generating alpha.
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:20PM
http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/12/18/trump.madoff.qanda/index.html
Trumps says he is a sleazebag
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:20PM
Oops, I crapped my pants!
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:20PM
Even Steven (Spielberg)!
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:20PM
Thanks Bernie! You finally proved that Jews aren't so great with money afterall!
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:23PM
Better stretch out those asscheeks pal
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:25PM
But look at how much money I pumped back into the economy
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:25PM
trust me, I'm just like you.
Posted by Anal_yst , Dec 18, 2008 1:26PM
CAVEAT EMPTOR
Posted by MarshallStack , Dec 18, 2008 1:26PM
Bess -
Only $28,000? Done. Just have to raise some capital.
Anyone want to bid on a couple pieces by Alexandra Penney?
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:26PM
its not lost, how can it be lost if i haven't started looking for it yet
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:26PM
just saw Walter Noel crossing greenwich avenue
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:27PM
Taco flavored kissies for my Ben!
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:28PM
@15, she does, she jsut doesn't look like a porn star like most CNBC bunnies (erin and the commodities girl are the exception though). The asian girl truely confirms the rule, especially when she decides to put clown makeup...ok, that's every single day
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:28PM
it all started back in the 70's when my wife put a decimal point in the wrong place
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:29PM
Off? Sure! Funds
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:30PM
Off? Sure! Funds
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:30PM
@10
They found the frozen banana stand. It's in the UK, about $160 million worth.
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:31PM
it's a shame you're too ugly to be prison gang-raped
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:34PM
You say shlemiel, I say shlimazel.
http://epicureandealmaker.blogspot.com/2008/12/three-faces-of-bernie.html
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:34PM
Bernie - thank you for the memories.
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:34PM
I owe my YoY return success to the SEC and all the dumb cocks who looked the other way.
SPODE
Posted by Clown Capital , Dec 18, 2008 1:36PM
@26
I'm confused. Can one sleazebag call another a sleazebag?
Isn't there some sort of sleazebag code?
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:36PM
As long as you're buying into the fund, I've got some nice land in Palm Beach to sell you too...
-SHAKES
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:40PM
Danny Aiello plays this guy in the upcoming HBO minseries.
Posted by Cantillon , Dec 18, 2008 1:40PM
The best ones are from Bernie:
“The strategy is the strategy and the returns are the returns.”
And telling the cops: “It’s all just one big lie”
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:40PM
"See, I met this great fly fishing gear salesman, and one thing led to another . . . "
Posted by cy , Dec 18, 2008 1:44PM
Risk capital is only as patient as the least patient provider.
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:48PM
"exit strategy?? i thought no one would want any money back till after i died."
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:50PM
the mother of all ponzis
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 1:56PM
Yes, I am a Jew.
-- So am I
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 2:02PM
Overdue Diligence.
Inspired by @14
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 2:04PM
what Bernake giveth, Bernie taketh away
Posted by Cantillon , Dec 18, 2008 2:06PM
The best ones are from Bernie:
“The strategy is the strategy and the returns are the returns.”
And telling the cops: “It’s all just one big lie”
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 2:06PM
Max Weinberg has not aged well.
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 2:06PM
I left a comment and didn't even get a stupid t-shirt.
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 2:07PM
now you see that evil was always triumph because good is dumb
may the schwartz be with you
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 2:07PM
now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb
may the schwartz be with you
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 2:07PM
Ponzi was a Piker
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 2:11PM
All your shekels are belong to us.
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 2:18PM
"As good as the Jewish T-Bill"...
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 2:24PM
Down $50 billion is the new killing it.
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 2:33PM
"In an era of faceless organizations ... Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC harks back to an earlier era in the financial world: The owner's name is on the door. Bernard Madoff has a personal interest in maintaining the unblemished record of value, fair-dealing, and high ethical standards that has always been the firm's hallmark."
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 2:37PM
I still out performed Citadel!
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 2:40PM
Look what washed up on our Cox when the economic tide went out...
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 2:50PM
i steal from my friends
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 3:01PM
"Behind every great fortune is a crime." Honore de Balzac
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 3:03PM
Rob one bank and you get jail, rob twelve and you get the penthouse.
"There is no innocent explanation."
Fraud of Frauds
Fraud of Funds
Fund of Frauds
Which way is up?
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 3:16PM
One word. Cunt.
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 3:24PM
The New Benchmark.
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 3:25PM
"Oh dear!"
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 3:32PM
Oy....Boiney.....what would your Mother say??? Oy Boiney, such a nudge....Oy Boiney, how can we show our face at the club? Oy Boiney, how can we show our face at Mahjong !
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 3:36PM
"Alpha Male"
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 3:42PM
No Comment
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 3:48PM
"I did it for my children and grand children."
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 3:53PM
"I planned and executed for years. I hid the loot. Hahahahahah!"
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 4:00PM
I did it for the nookie
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 4:04PM
What's that saying about friends in the right places?
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 4:08PM
If I get off, Andrew Lavender becomes the new Ben Brafman
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 4:08PM
Too bad Clinton wasnt elected -- betcha she would have pardoned me.
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 4:09PM
Too bad Clinton wasnt elected -- betcha she would have pardoned me.
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 4:19PM
Greed is Good
or
The Clever Madoff
Posted by michange , Dec 18, 2008 4:36PM
How was the SEC board like?
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 4:43PM
What me, worry? I have Bill Clinton in my right pocket!
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 4:55PM
Not to worry, it seems that there's not an antidote to crooked pricks:
http://ir.auxilium.com/phoenix.zhtml?c=142125&p=irol-newsArticle&ID=1237423&highlight=
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 4:56PM
That shmegegi, Harry Markopolos, its a good thing everyone ignored him -- we kinda sweated bullets.
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 4:56PM
Not to worry, it seems that there's now an antidote to crooked pricks:
http://ir.auxilium.com/phoenix.zhtml?c=142125&p=irol-newsArticle&ID=1237423&highlight=
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 5:18PM
Hamas and Hezbollah "Man of the Year" for inflicting more damage to Jews than either group ever dreamed possible
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 8:04PM
"I'm coming for you R & J - ec"
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 8:16PM
The new Weekend @ Bernie's... Conjugal visits.
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 8:21PM
The new Weekend @ Bernie's... Conjugal visits.
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 9:30PM
Waterboarding.
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 10:10PM
He forgot to paint Bernie's horns on.
Posted by guest , Dec 18, 2008 11:37PM
Bernie Madoff with all of my money.
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 2:49AM
ummmm 100
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 2:53AM
wideclops knew the situation was fluid.
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 5:09AM
I GOT GOATSE'D
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 6:20AM
Bulls make money. Bears make money. Pigs get wrung out.
-- slinkybender
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 3:20PM
Want a redemption?
Posted by bondguy007 , Dec 19, 2008 4:29PM
Madoff Like a Bandit!
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 9:45PM
ponzi was a pussy
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 9:46PM
ponzi was a pussy
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 9:46PM
ponzi was a pussy
Posted by guest , Dec 20, 2008 3:12PM
"There must be an error. It must be another Bernie Madoff. But then, there is no other Bernie Madoff.”
Posted by guest , Dec 24, 2008 7:26AM
"The best things in life are free."
Posted by guest , Dec 24, 2008 2:49PM
past performance IS future returns