Picture 345.pngOne of our New Year’s Resolutions is to stop making fun of Steve Cohen. Though previous gentle ribbings have obviously been public demonstrations of love as expressed by a deeply cynical individual scared to tell the big guy how she really feels, apparently they haven’t penetrated certain fleece wearers up at 72 Cummings Point Road. Since it pains us to know we’re not getting through, and because the keys to the Zamboni machine are all we want in life, a new angle of attack is necessary. A kiss and make-up sheet cake and handwritten note seem like good jumping off points, but we’ll iron out the details later (speak up if you can facilitate this goal). Now that you know where we’re coming from, it should be understood that the presentation of the following data is meant to be not a criticism but a congratulations for a (relatively) kick-ass job well done.


Through mid December:
- SAC Multi-Strategy: -12.8% YTD
- SAC Capital International: -18.7% YTD

Comments (23)

  1. Posted by guest | December 30, 2008 at 11:58 AM

    -18.7% is the new killing it!

  2. Posted by guest | December 30, 2008 at 12:09 PM

    whats going on with my fellow jews -
    Now it turns out the apple love story in a concentration camp was made up by Rosenblatt ?
    http://www.snopes.com/glurge/thefence.asp

  3. Posted by Lowly Assistant | December 30, 2008 at 12:09 PM

    I know this says a lot about my sad, lonely life, but it feels so good to have Levs posting beyond the opening/closing bell. A ray of sunshine has peaked through this office window.

  4. Posted by guest | December 30, 2008 at 12:10 PM

    Simons is down about the same (-19% in RIEF; no one but staff allowed in Medallion so to me, that doesn’t count), so good for SAC.

  5. Posted by guest | December 30, 2008 at 12:12 PM

    Doubt Steve can give you a vigorous ride on the Zamboni machine. Better check the after hours action in the bars frequented by NYSE floor traders.

  6. Posted by guest | December 30, 2008 at 12:17 PM

    Pretty clear SAC is not a Ponzi scheme

  7. Posted by guest | December 30, 2008 at 12:33 PM

    bro, I just realized SAC’s office is around the corner from my grandma’s house
    Didn’t realize Stevie was so close to the hood
    let the snide comments commence

  8. Posted by guest | December 30, 2008 at 1:03 PM

    @7 is “Fairfield County’s Most Wanted”

  9. Posted by guest | December 30, 2008 at 1:04 PM

    Bess is ribbing for her pleasure.

  10. Posted by guest | December 30, 2008 at 1:19 PM

    @9 is that a rib, or is Bess just damn glad to meet you.

  11. Posted by guest | December 30, 2008 at 1:21 PM

    is steve celebrating new year’s with melissa ie cleveland brown?

  12. Posted by Anal_yst | December 30, 2008 at 1:21 PM

    @ 5
    The guys @ Pappoos have zambonis?

  13. Posted by guest | December 30, 2008 at 1:39 PM

    @7 Hope you don’t drink the water. I hear there is a lot of pharma treatments that go on in that office that have likely made their way into water supply.

  14. Posted by guest | December 30, 2008 at 1:43 PM

    Bess will be the new bloody head!

  15. Posted by guest | December 30, 2008 at 1:44 PM

    Damn Karen Tso is hot…

  16. Posted by guest | December 30, 2008 at 4:00 PM

    @ 11. I certainly hope not… ;-p

  17. Posted by guest | December 30, 2008 at 4:01 PM

    @11: I certainly hope he has higher standards than that…

  18. Posted by guest | December 30, 2008 at 4:05 PM

    @20- but maybe he likes the hot bod/hideous face combo?

  19. Posted by guest | December 30, 2008 at 4:08 PM

    @18, In my experience with her, it is best to handle business from behind and bury her face in the pillow. Just a suggestion…

  20. Posted by guest | December 30, 2008 at 4:23 PM

    @19- speaking from experience, or just that’d be your course of action? if experience, how is she? i would’ve thought horrid.

  21. Posted by guest | December 31, 2008 at 11:44 AM

    @ 20… Pretty decent. Not the best but not the worst. I used the old “light switch” trick… works most every time. A friend of mine that worked there suggested that I “draw a map of Hawaii on her face” but I didn’t want to have to look at her long enough. She’s not that ugly, but God certainly does have a sense of humor.

  22. Posted by guest | January 5, 2009 at 4:49 PM

    is that Glenn?

  23. Posted by guest | January 5, 2009 at 4:51 PM

    @22- who, the dude who suggested hawaii?

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