Top Reasons I Invested My Entire Fortune With Madoff

Picture 475.png1. But… he was self-administered! His costs for trading must have been so low!
2. Goldman did due diligence in 2001 [“no we didn’t”, “yes you did”] and they gave him a pass.
3. “C’mon… even if he does anything they will look the other way. He has friends on the inside!”
4. “I gave half to the preacher on television, and I gave half to the investment manager on television.”
5. “With all those parties, I figured he must be legit. You know… the Schwarzman rule.”
6. “I didn’t invest with Madoff. I invested with FGG. Their diligence process is serious business.”
7. “Screw FGG. Tremont is much more diligent.”
8. “You are both idiots. Pioneer Alternative has got my back.”
9. “He had the best Sharpe ratio in the whole world!”
10. “I said no comment. Oy vey.”
11. You tell us. (In comments).

(hidden for your protection)
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50 Responses to “Top Reasons I Invested My Entire Fortune With Madoff”

  1. guest says:

    The Wideclops told me to!

  2. guest says:

    Life used to be so grand for the Noels, now they are slumming it in Greenwich, including points around the globe.

  3. guest says:

    EP, this is one of the best posts I’ve seen here. Concise, gives historic links, and humorous. Kudos.

  4. guest says:

    Too twisty, didn’t Oliver.

  5. guest says:

    He said it was the highest form of tzdakah.

  6. Anal_yst says:

    Ok, where are the trader apologist and forehead slapper when ya’ need ’em?

  7. guest says:

    i go to yeshiva university.
    who’s madoff?

  8. guest says:

    11. because jews wouldn’t get jew’d by jews.

  9. guest says:

    The Jewish controlled media told me that Jews were really good with money.
    – bbm Addict

  10. guest says:


  11. guest says:


  12. guest says:

    too ponzi, didn’t read

  13. guest says:

    The best reasoning why this madoff thing happened (and especially why it was made public at this time in 08) was given to me by my father (economics Professor in vienna).
    His reasoning goes like this:
    1) Most other jews (and a few others) that had invested in Madoff knew everything.
    2) Sec etc. knew also.
    3) Sec etc. decided that madoff needs to turn himself in.
    Some of you may ask why. The reason is the following:
    -) Madoff did not keep records in a proper way.
    -) Because of this it is easy to argue that you had invested into madoff (one could move amounts back and forth so that it seems as if a fortune had been wired to madoff).
    -) Since a former ruling in the us had forced prior investors to compensate existing investors a fortune could be made through simply argueing you are an investor.
    Any opinions

  14. guest says:

    too vegetable-lasagna, didn’t read

  15. guest says:


  16. guest says:

    Too flemish, didn’t cough.

  17. guest says:

    Too Nazi didnt goose step

  18. guest says:

    @16 flemish or Phlegm-ish? There may be some pissed off/confused people in Bruges tonight thanks to you!
    ps the widelclops says hi to everyone in cowtown

  19. guest says:

    crazy returns……

  20. guest says:

    @ 17 LOL!

  21. guest says:

    @13 Too schnitzel, not a winner.

  22. Seaman Bodine says:

    i went full retard, man…you never go full retard

  23. Anal_yst says:

    Anyone else ready for a full day of fun, hooahhhh!

  24. guest says:

    Madoff is a major loser, thief, liar, crook, stealer, and desrves to be in jail for the rest of his life. Hopefully anyone else involved will get caught as well.

  25. guest says:

    @ Anal_yst – I can barely contain myself.

  26. guest says:

    Traders don’t lose money; Ponzi schemes do.

  27. guest says:

    Wait a minute!!! Are you saying that someone would screw investors out of their money (and fool the SEC) as a result of personal hubris and greed?????
    ~The Forehead Slapper

  28. guest says:

    11. Madoff was an agent of the Hollywood Jews. It was Jewish penis envy.

  29. guest says:

    Does anyone else ever wish they were blind so they could get one of those cool seeing eye dogs?

  30. guest says:

    In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is King.

  31. guest says:

    All of us here in Cowtown are going over to the Chophouse at lunchtime and start drankin’ likker. Some of the fund traders will be there talkin’ about the eye-candy at the midstream company they all been tryin’ to bang like a screen door in a hurricane. All y’all have a safe and happy holiday and don’t get drunk like Cooter Brown and drive yore Bentley all over somone’s yard.

  32. guest says:

    I was smart. I did not give my entire net worth to MadeOff. I only lost 3% of my net worth. What the fuck is 15 million to me.

  33. guest says:

    O fuck, its really 15 million.

  34. guest says:

    @32 If that’s the case, I have to tell you about this guy, he will earn you 1% per MONTH regardless of VOL. Min investment is only 5 million. ARE YOU IN?

  35. guest says:

    @13 – you forgot to include that most jews also knew about 9-11. You ignorant fuck.
    Does your father have lunch with Mel Gibson’s dad, too?

  36. guest says:

    In the land of the blind, the one-eyed snake is King.

  37. guest says:

    I bet for a blind man, listening to Porn is like getting water boarded.

  38. guest says:

    @34. Yea I’m in. And I want to double down. Ha ha.

  39. guest says:

    I felt lucky.

  40. guest says:

    In the land of skunks, the man with no nose is king.

  41. guest says:

    It looked like quick, fast and easy money. (Trouble is, it was for Madoff not me.)

  42. guest says:

    @ 35
    in the land of free air, the jew is king (schnoz)

  43. guest says:

    Why? Because I never thought that a guy named Madoff would ‘Make-off’ with the cash…the joke was just too obvious!

  44. guest says:

    if you have to explain your joke, it isnt’ a good joke.
    later douches

  45. guest says:

    Equity Private
    Nice takedown of that dope Barry Ritholtz in your latest blog column

  46. guest says:

    @40, you’re ruining Don Giovanni!

  47. guest says:

    Michael Bienes is a cheap hustler and immoral swindler who has enriched himself by funneling money to Madoff for over 35 years. There is evidence to suggest his relationship with Madoff never ceased after the 1992 SEC investigation and that he has merely moved his operations overseas.

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