Inside you’ll find the answers to questions like “Who is Madoff?” “What are the origins of the Jewish faith?” “Who originally settled the tract of land known as Boca” “Do you know of any available timeshares in there?” “How are the Mets going to do next year?” “What’s on tap for XMAS, Chinese food and a movie?” “What are the odds of Spielberg making a movie about this, good or bad?” “And could I be an extra?” Oh, and:
“Why did we give this man your money” and “The phrase ‘due diligence’— does it actually translate to ‘bend over’ in some strange Genevan version of French?”
UBP Madoff 17-12-2008 [PDF]
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 9:53AM
In summary: he fucked all of us and fucked us hard!
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 9:56AM
Bullet Point 7: The perceived edge was, uh, front-running, and we being Swiss, well, there's no law against that.
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 10:03AM
"Hope...is not a thing heedlessly given to be crushed by the vicissitudes of experience; rather it is the unanticipated reward of struggle endured, a gift of grace." --Kathryn Walker
"Wishing you peace, hope and boundless love this holiday season and throughout the year."
The Spitzers (who also got fucked by Madoff)
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 10:04AM
too little too late...
Posted by Joseph di Jersey City , Dec 19, 2008 10:14AM
Bullet Point 23: What is the "sheeny curse" and what did UBP do to get it?
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 10:23AM
I *always* thought Madoff would eventually be nailed for front-running. Figured eventually some ex-employee would get pinched for something and roll...or Madoff would provide a ripe target for some attorney general who aspired to be king (or at least governor).
I'm in total shock that it was a Ponzi scheme. Won't someone - some ex-Madoff employee - come clean and tell us there was front-running involved too? Please?
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 10:24AM
The first rule of investing:
Beware of store front auditors and those based in tax havens.
The second rule:
Be the first out the door.
Posted by Clown Capital , Dec 19, 2008 10:33AM
FYI,
Former FBI informant "Deep Throat" (too easy) passed away...
"I'm the guy they used to call Deep Throat"
Mark Felt in 2005
Posted by NotNasser , Dec 19, 2008 10:35AM
But the big question is: can't UBP get some help from astute legal counsel in trying to get a few pennies out of each dollar?
Maybe Marc Dreier? Or is he not free?
Posted by Anal_yst , Dec 19, 2008 10:38AM
This is awesome, from pg 3:
"The outcome, proven by the long
track record, audits and regulatory oversight, showed a compelling investment opportunity with stable
returns, limited volatility and good liquidity"
Yes, quality "audits" and "regulatory oversight", that no one thought to question the ridiculously high "stable returns" with the ridiculously low "limited volatility" and ponzi-esque "liquidity."
Jesus do these morons read their own crap before putting it out? You'd think at this point they'd want to play the "we're really not as stupid as it appears" card, no?
Posted by johnhhaskell , Dec 19, 2008 10:50AM
if there "are 12 people dedicated to the split strike conversion strategy": name the other 11, so the FBI can fit cuffs to them. Obviously you did background checks on them as part of your due diligence, so you should have names and home addresses for all of them. (Nicola Horlick - this goes for you too).
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 10:51AM
NotNasser -- instead of having UBP sign a retainer agreement, Drier will give UBP the opportunity to sign a purchase agreement to buy some deeply discounted notes from a prominent NY realty firm
Posted by miami , Dec 19, 2008 10:57AM
How could Citco have received daily trade tickets when the volume would have been magnitudes of volume higher than actually traded?
If OTC, why didn't Citco just pick up the phone and call GS/JPM/DB/UBS/MS/B-L and check if the trades were actually made?
Isn't that what a 3rd party Administrator gets paid for? Or do they just throw the trade tickets in a pile out back?
Posted by Anal_yst , Dec 19, 2008 11:14AM
So, in summation, everyone dropped the ball.
EVERYONE.
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 11:25AM
In short, we suck at due diligence but we're pretty diversified so who cares about a couple hundred bps...?
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 11:26AM
# 14.
Sorry Bud, everyone kept the balls in the air.
Just the other side of the coin, so to speak.
Posted by Anal_yst , Dec 19, 2008 11:32AM
@ 16
Perhaps the wrong metaphor, but the fact remains, (and this is larger than just Madoff), everyone expected that someone else did the diligence, when, in actuality, very few actually did. Those people have names like Paulson and Ackman, and are very few and far between.
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 11:39AM
FOF enjoyed too much easy money during the past year and now Darwin is coming back and punished the FOF shops which have been lazy in due diligence while building a hedge fund franchise at the same time.
This scandal will help to clean the industry (at least the FOF industry)
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 12:02PM
Due diligence of managers is completely overrated. The average fund's "investment process" often involves little more than the PM reading Barron's while on the crapper Monday morning.
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 12:09PM
Best part, by far:
This situation could put further media pressure on hedge funds. That being said, hedge funds should be
seen as the victim, not perpetrator or cause of the fraud.
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 12:13PM
Best part, by far:
This situation could put further media pressure on hedge funds. That being said, hedge funds should be
seen as the victim, not perpetrator or cause of the fraud.
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 12:16PM
Question 23: should read.
Q: Are we fucked?
A: Yes we are fucked, like a little white boy in an all black prison.
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 12:18PM
What is M invest. Who has their money in there? Who is the sponsor?
Posted by weeklyworldnews , Dec 19, 2008 1:25PM
unreal situation...his whole family is soon to be behind bars. tragedy.
LOL a little white boy in an all black prison??! Yikes. scary thoughts there :)
another little white boy is watching out for Madoff... BAT BOY
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/bat-boy-closing-in-on-madoff/#more-4420
Posted by bmwstox , Dec 19, 2008 4:41PM
why is Bess so infatuated with jews? is she related to Madoff?
Posted by guest , Dec 19, 2008 5:49PM
Is it me or is this letter pathetic?
UBP is basically saying that they invested in Madoff because they thought he was front running trades, and the SEC is really the one that dropped the ball here.
If the SEC is the one who is supposed to do all the operational DD what do we pay the FOF for?
They should really dig into their pockets and pay their investors back money lost by madoff. Their DD was non existent..
Posted by guest , Dec 21, 2008 6:09PM
does anybody know what the fee schedule of m-invest was?
Posted by guest , Dec 22, 2008 3:05PM
Wow, Union Bancaire Privee had a 5% Madoff position in ARV their largest fund of funds. It is truly amazing they had so much confidence in Madoff. They are supposed to be the experts.
Posted by guest , Feb 22, 2009 5:43AM
I am pretty curious is anyone preparing or filled a class action to UBP ?
the have actually lost 700 m,illion of their clients here and nobody cares to take them to court?
Posted by guest , Oct 19, 2009 9:26PM
UBP (Union Bancaire Privee) had Christoher Ito as its Risk Manager. No wonder they invested in both Madoff and Petters. Ito has a very weak understanding of risk, and spent the first 20 years of his career as a consultant for Deloitte.